I wish I hadn’t got out of bed today
I’ve been very busy at work I’m tired, I was supposed to be off tomorrow and my off duty wasn’t amended as it had been originally agreed so I am unable to go to the theatre tomorrow night as had been arranged
Paperwork regarding my pension claim has been processed by an absolute moron ( I spent my lunch time on the phone to said moron)
And when I got home I opened a fine for 60£ for unknowingly driving through a bus gate in Sheffield last week.
On a positive note there was a casserole ( and a pudding! ) left for me on the doorknob by my sister
I listened to radio 4 on the way home
I think the moral maze was asking the question when we’re you last kind?
I will ask you all the same thing as it’s a lazy post
So
When were you last kind?
Not long ago, I overheard a little girl in the market ask her grandma for a butterfly balloon she saw floating in the flower section. I thought Grandma was kinda mean in the way she dismissed the child and said no. I added the butterfly balloon to my cart and, after checking out, asked a store worker to give it to the little girl.
ReplyDeleteOur neighbour comes for tea every morning...and this afternoon as well today as he came to assess our building work!
ReplyDeleteDepends what you mean by the wuestion.
ReplyDeleteIt depends what you mean by the question. At my age I am not physically able to be kind but I always, while walking round on my daily walk with Priscilla, smile and say hello to absolutely everyone and every dog. That is as much as I can manage unless anyone wants anything I am able to give them and that I do freely.
Giving away free smiles is one of THE kindest things you can do. Just think how many days you are improving for all the recipients.
DeleteYou brighten people's days. I can thinking of nothing of more kind.
DeleteYou are kind.
I am kind every day.
ReplyDeleteJust last week, I was able to direct a wheelchair-bound lady to the door of a bookstore, and then accompanied her and opened the door for her. It's been so long since I've had the opportunity to practice a random act of kindness, something I always was on the look-out for, and hope to continue now that I am out in the public more often.
ReplyDeleteAnnie
Good question. I think there are two kinds of "kind". One is the good manners kind of kind - smiling and thanking cafe workers and shop assistants (my mother used to call that 'good breeding'!!! So long ago!!) but the other kind of 'Kind" is putting myself out for another person - offering to deliver donated clothes that the receiver would otherwise have been expected to collect. In my restricted world, that's as much as I can do at the moment.
ReplyDeleteWe went through a bus gate in Newcastle but there for a first offence, presumably for people who live elsewhere, they only give a warning.
ReplyDeleteI took some time to sit and talk with a transgender kid at the school where I work. I asked him what name and pronouns he preferred, and made a deal with him that when we talk privately, I will use them. Unfortunately his foster mother does NOT want us calling him "him" or by his chosen name, and our school policy is that we have to abide by whatever the parent or guardian wants. But when it's just the two of us talking, I respect his wishes. Every individual deserves that respect, in my opinion. Especially a kid in foster care who's already had a hard enough life, gender issues aside.
ReplyDeleteAll kids need someone like you in their lives. They are lucky.
DeleteI have a transgender now nephew. Having read up on it a lot, I wish the foster parents would change their mind. Using the chosen name instead of 'deadname'and the chosen pronouns of a kid or teen can make a huge differebce in avoiding depression and suicide. It seems simple to me that this means it's hugely important to them and we should do it. Thank you for being a safe space.
DeleteI hope I’m kind every day. ‘Kindness costs nothing’ my mother used to say, and it’s true.
ReplyDeleteIn the supermarket I noticed a middle aged lady accompanying her very elderly parents (one in a wheelchair). She was being so patient with them. It really touched me for some reason. I purchased a bunch of flowers and gave them to her at the checkout.
ReplyDeleteI’m off to bed but love these small moments keep them coming and I will commentt tomorrow xxx
ReplyDeleteNow I'm one of those 'elderly ladies' myself it's sometimes hard to actually do kind things which require manual things, but I do make the effort, especially at the grocery stores which are still the only ones I frequent really due to COVID! Plus I often chat with other people who look lonesome and just need to feel they matter.
ReplyDeleteBob is wonderful at that kind of thing too, reaching for high things, helping them to their cars, loading their packages etc. . . . and often invites them to tea if they are in the neighborhood!!!
Today I had a gardener in to prune shrubs and I actually helped him quite a bit. It became a joint effort and fun - and I felt less helpless with my current back issue. Of course tonight I might be in pain, haha!
Even with my limitations I am as kind as I ever was although by different means. There should be no effort involved in giving encouragement when it is needed and complimenting or praising someone just because.
ReplyDeleteIf it's a kindness, then my last time was when I sent a homemade Good Luck card with a personal verse/poem to a friend of my daughter who was changing her job to something entirely different. She was 'over the moon' with it as it was totally unexpected.
I have a Board Member whom I detest. Last night I met with her non-profit association and complimented her twice on the good job she did preparing for the meeting. Ruth in Oxnard CA. USA
ReplyDeleteI see making quilts that will be donated to refugees or those in need as slow motion,behind the scenes kindness and it's a joy for me.
ReplyDeleteSince I'm short, I like to reach grocery items on shelves for folks who are in wheelchairs or who are - amazingly - even shorter than I am!
Hugs!
Barbara, I could have written this comment! :^)
DeleteAs Athene says, I hope I'm kind every day. Apart from the every day sort - saying thank you, smiling etc, I guess the last time was before Christmas I crocheted snowflakes for people to take from my garden wall. If they gave someone a smile, job done! xx
ReplyDeleteToday the woman at the coffee shop struggled with the register and making change. She said she was a new employee. Customers were not happy, I said, don't worry it will be okay and I paid for 3 coffees plus my own to dismiss the upset customers. The woman at the register smiled in relief.
ReplyDeleteJust smiling really,passing the time of day,letting someone go first in a shop queue,doorway-showing compassion-Treating others the way I wish to be treated -though I've had several twisted people being cruel to myself x
ReplyDeleteWhen was I last kind? Yesterday when the missus and I looked after our baby granddaughter all day. She had also slept over on Tuesday might. By the way, I hope that was not a Yorkshire Pudding you found hanging from your doorknob!
ReplyDeleteholding the door open for an elderly person struggling with bags in hand....... it was greeted with a huge smile on both parts. Made my day! It doesn't have to be a huge thing.....the small seemingly insignificant is often the most rewarding.
ReplyDeleteSusan M
Today at the tax accountant's office, then at the grocery store. It can be an easy habit to establish. --Elise
ReplyDeleteI try and be kind every day; sometimes I succeed and other days I fail miserably. Even if it is only talking to people in passing. Sometimes talking to strangers can be the highlight of their day, especially if they are on their own. It may not mean much to us, just as individuals expressing our natural care and attention. However what we do not see is that each of us have unique situations that are not raised on flagpoles above our heads, but kept discretely to our hearts. Besides kindness does not expect anything in return it is just doing things for the love of other people. Putting a smile on someone's face that is the real reward. That is something we should give to ourselves as well at times as sometimes we need it too. xx
ReplyDeleteI try to be kind everyday, as a support worker it sort of comes naturally as not everyone I work with is "nice" and I like to set an example without crowing to those people. Today, due to a plea for kitten food for a local cat refuge, (we are still struggling to feed our pets here in NZ) I drove around several stores trying to source some and donated it to the refuge. I was chuffed that they were so grateful I hate animals to go hungry and as a bonus I got a cuddle from a delicious little black kitten, he was all snuggles. Made my day.
ReplyDeleteJo in Auckland
Hugged one of my patients at work. He was crying and upset.
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty much a lifestyle. I strive for kindness and understanding.
ReplyDeleteThe answers will be pouring in. Personally? Personally I don't like preening myself.
ReplyDeleteOn the whole, I try hard to convince myself, being kind is the human default mode. Though, naturally, there will always be the odd bastard, the exception to the rule. "Cheap shoes" anyone?
So, John, here is a suggestion. Why don't you ask your readers "When was the last time you weren't kind? And why"? I bet your comment box might fall mighty silent.
U
PS As I write, my last act of kindness (a minute ago) that I allow a mouse (don't ask) to sleep underneath the radiator in the hallway. I actually had the perfect opportunity to kill it - but then I am not a terrier.
What you mean Ursula is, look at me I let a mouse live and want everyone to know how wonderful I am whilst telling John that he has a mean streak. Be honest now... if you can.
DeleteJo in Auckland
Thanks for telling me what I "mean". Your insight floors me. You may wish to read my original reply again. Neither is there anything "wonderful" about letting a mouse enjoy some warmth.
DeleteHonest? You want honest? Be careful what you wish for.
U
Ursula.
DeleteInteresting that your unkindness was directed at John who did not once crow about his kindness.
It is also interesting that your reply was penned in the early hours.
Perhaps your venom was fueled by alcohol.?
My father had a saying
" She loves the sound of her own voice"
Apt I feel
Beth
"Alcohol fueled"? Don't think so. I'd only just got up. In future, if only out of kindness, do keep your assumptions to yourself. And don't hide behind your father.
DeleteU
Some acts can be seen as 'kindness', and others as social duty. Kindness can often be something as simple as making someone feel good about themselves, and in that respect I recently told a total stranger how nice she looked. I could see that it meant a lot to her.
ReplyDeleteWell Actually Jo in Auckland, Most people WOULD KILL a mouse. I missed the part where Ursula wrote that John has a mean streak. But then I am not focused on reading between the lines and interpreting what isn't there to interpret. Maybe she simply answered John's question and her answer pissed YOU off. I think it is a good idea to ask someone the question when the last time that they were unkind was. As
ReplyDeleteI too believe people are inherently kind. → Jo in Manhattan.
I try to be kind and thoughtful all the time. I am shocked that people are fighting over the question. What is that all about? You can be kind and thoughtful even on the web. There is no need to argue. Life is hard enough.
ReplyDeleteOur furnace died tonight around 7pm. Temps currently -4C so it couldn't wait til morning to call in the technician. Poor guy, after putting in such a long day and then he was called in for our situation. Fed him snacks, kept him company as be worked in the sooty furnace room, gave him a big tip and then texted a glowing report to his boss at 11pm saying 'Elwin' just left and he did a spectacular job getting the system back up and running. We're grateful beyond words to be warm tonight.
ReplyDeleteI try to be kind daily. One of my favorite ways to be kind is to give a stranger I have an encounter with a few kind words of encouragement. For example, I always see this young man working at the produce section of my grocery store. He is always straightening and keeping the section looking neat. I make a point to tell him what a good job he is doing and that I appreciate it. The first time I told him that he looked absolutely shocked that I noticed. Then when he walked away I saw a small smile on his face. People need to be noticed and appreciated!
ReplyDeleteI often take my elderly neighbour a plate of home cooking ..she always enjoys it .Soup on the menu tomorrow.Cream of chicken and vegetables .
ReplyDeleteTwo days ago I offered to get shopping for someone I know who has Covid. But a real random act of kindness was when I helped a mentally ill man who had collapsed in the street some years ago. Makes me realise how I have become more physically distant from people over the years.
ReplyDeleteIt's months since I did anything kind, before November probably. I don't see anyone to be kind to. I hope I'm never actively unkind, and smile and wave if I do see people.
ReplyDeleteYou have a lot of holiday. You are out of practice with work days. Your shift pattern is terrible, I would get a nice, regular day job if I were you. Life's too short to cling on to this job.
ReplyDeleteYes agree, if there are options available with the same work satisfaction.
DeleteIn the twilight years of working when one retires from a career it is often the case that people take a final job in a totally different sphere with slightly less hours and less onerous duties. It happens and it can be entirely satisfying.
DeleteI don't have alot of holiday, the same as most non nhs nurses, but I am judicial at when I use it .
Delete. I blogs a few weeks ago about my plan to retire when counseling will take over from nursing so that I still have a wage coming in.
Unlike many older people I still have a mortgage to pay for, and that's not cheap.
I have to work
And work full time
Why are you always hostile to suggestions that might help you? Say, yes thank you, I will think it over. I was not suggesting you have a lot of holiday, I was saying you have a lot of holiday and it may throw out your rhythm of work days. One day when the time is right you will know. Good luck.
DeleteNo anger issues at all rachel..crikey where did that come from? ...I think sometimes that you take humbrige when no slight is intended
DeleteI was explaining that I don't have the luxury of working part time. Don't you think I've already thought about part time work and alternative employment.
I say I'm tired when I'm tired .it's just a journal .
I should extend myself to the world and not just my little world?
I will think about that
Good. Sometimes we have to revisit ground we have covered. Life is an ever moving feast.x
DeleteI think your physical health would improve with a day job too.
DeleteIt would indeed
DeleteYour work schedule often sounds like the pits. Any other options for you with your exceptional skills, knowledge, and experience? I hope I’m now kind most of the time.
ReplyDeleteMost shifts are ok and paced. But a few ,like yesterday's can mean 12 hours on my feet solid
DeleteIm 60 and I get tired,
No shit Sherlock
Had to google bus gate. We don't have any in Northern Ireland as far as I know. Looks like the offending bus gate wasn't clearly marked.
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain, I once drove through a bus gate in Lancaster and didn't even know what I had done, the ironic thing was I had gone in the wrong direction anyway and shouldn't have been on that road. Oh well we live and learn ... and then they install more traps for us.
ReplyDeleteWhen was I last kind? I don't recall specifically but I aim to be kind in everything I do and to everyone I meet. My one failing is that sometimes I am kinder to strangers than I am to family, but luckily they know me and I can apologise if necessary.
Kindness is rooted in the need for social cohesiveness, as in 'treat others in the way you would like to be treated yourself'. Unkind people are unhappy and isolated. Acts of 'kindness' do as much good to the giver as they do for the receiver in the long run. Thinking of yourself as altruistically kind is just massaging your own ego. Dinner on your doorknob?
ReplyDeleteYes, Tom, "thinking of yourself as the altruistically kind ... massaging your ego". It's why I nearly didn't answer John's question as to my last act of kindness - until that tiny mouse came to my rescue with some harmless example of kindness; a kindness I'll probably regret should the mouse turn out to be pregnant.
DeleteSomething dies in me when people boast about how kind they are. The truly kind never do so. They just do what needs to be done without drawing attention to it.
As you say, kindness acts as social glue; though I do believe that it's also innate. And there are acts of kindness beyond the expected, beyond the call of "duty", namely when you really do put yourself out for another (altruistically) because of our sheer and shared humanity - not with an eye on a reward here or in the "afterlife".
U
I think for John kindness is some form of commodity.
DeleteRude and wrong
DeleteListing each thing you do, things like we all do without thinking about them, makes it like a commodity or a currency.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOh so many comments over such a simple question and some interesting points. The gist of the radio programme was a questioning one . How do people view their own kindnesses...and how we view our ability to be unkind.
ReplyDeletePerhaps Ursula has a point. What would the response be if we had to underline when we were last unkind.
I can be rude quite easily but I am seldom unkind , I think...
I don't think I see kindness as a commodity, I feel that comment doesn't sit right, but I do think kindness breeds kindness
And I like the analogy of it oiling the cogs as it were
I think it is adding insult to injury to suggest that none of us would admit to being unkind. Don't worry, you would not lose out on your comments.
DeleteI think it's easier to remember when I was being plain rude rather than when I was being unkind..the verges smudge though
DeleteSometimes being direct is seen as being rude, but it can be kinder to tell straight truth.
DeleteKind isn't always soft and rosy
Good point
DeleteWhen I have been plain rude, it does not wake me up in the middle of the night in the way that being unkind does. That's the difference. I am sometimes haunted by the hurt look on someone's face when I have said unkind words to them. If I am rude to someone it is a deliberate act. When I am hurtful it is always unthinking. I hate hurting people.
DeleteYes, I understand this , I once was unkind to my grandmother , in something I said
DeleteI was 8
It haunts me still
When I remember her face
Driving through a bus gate?
ReplyDeleteYou've been down The Wicker haven't you?
Bad luck.
Earlier this week someone was angry with me, snapping at my every word. Rather than return in kind, I calmly focused on the common ground, moved forward, solved the problem.
ReplyDeleteYesterday.
ReplyDeleteIsn't rudeness a sort of unkindness?
ReplyDeleteYes....but often rudeness is spontaneous unkindness feels more calculated
DeleteI read this post earlier and did not comment but I have been thinking about it ever since. I think I try to always be kind and generally am at least a few times a day. Shouldn't this be the way it is?
ReplyDeleteI remember many years ago, while going around a discount supermarket with my daughter. A little girl and boy asked if they could have a 'Lucky Bag' at 50p each. Scruffy looking father said I quote 'Put that sh#t back. I'm not wasting money on that sh#t. While pushing a trolley loaded up with cheap lager cans.
ReplyDeleteEven my daughter at the age of five, looked at me in shock. So I put two of them in my trolley, paid for them and waited outside. When the bad tempered 'alcohloc' father appeared with even more alcohol stacked in his trolley. I gave the children one each and said 'I think daddy put them in the wrong trolley, here you go' They ripped them open like a pair of wolves delighted with their swag. Dad just tutted and walked off.
I have been kind all week. I spent 4 hours waiting for an ambulance for a 98 yr old I befriend. Did shopping for 3 other old dears, because our charity has covid rushing round. I had it last month so ok to do. Organised blood tests for said lady. Yes I was kind but so tired at end of week. Supposed to do 8 paid hours , did double poss treble that. I dont feel kind.
ReplyDelete