I’m home late today
I’ve noted that yesterday’s underpants being tractor bashed in the lane led to much hilarity amongst some of you, readers. who probably enjoy rather filthy schoolboy humour
I will leave you with a story which matches it .
Now my first male partner Philip was a man not known for his sense of humour , but once he did something that did indeed make me guffaw long and hard.
After playing badminton with my best friend , I once came to my Philip’s home for a shower.
Unfortunately( for me) I left my undergarments on the floor of his bathroom and also unfortunately ( for me) said garments had a rather robust sweat/ skid mark for all to see.
Unbeknownst to me, Philip photographed the underpants with a helpful finger pointing directly to skid mark and on line made the photo into a rather impressive and colour enhanced postcard.
The postcard was then posted first class post to the ward staff on the hospital ward I ran at the time
On it was the simple comment
Guess Who ?
Viz Comic has a character called Johnny Fartpants (don't ask). Role model? A nom de plume...?
ReplyDeleteJonney fiid stain more like
DeleteFood stain
DeleteOH! Did you manage a straight face and guess "Phillip?"
ReplyDeleteHugs!
I found the post card quite quickly thank goodness x
DeleteWicked, in every sense. Did they guess who? xx
ReplyDeleteSome did
DeleteI would not be happy At All John-and may have do something to the persons toothbrush-and I cannot do anything human poo orientated-only doggy doos x
ReplyDeleteIt tickled me , to be honest
DeleteBut yet again if it was Art-and by the way one of my dogs can do poos in the shape of a heart x
DeleteYou will write anything for a cheap laugh
ReplyDeleteYou sicken me
Cheap laugh ?
DeleteABSOLUTELY LOL
Sod off
DeleteIt’s ok flis, my Guard dog x
DeleteHoly cow! Why are these people like anon and Ursula reading your blog if they are so repelled by it?!
DeleteLinda, it's called "morbid fascination".
DeleteU
It’s more like making something out of nothing Linda
DeleteDon’t worry about it,
Once you understand that about Ursula
Her forensic nit picking won’t bother you xx
You are right, John. Forensic nit picking is a nuisance. Not least for the offender. Not letting it bother you is wise. After all, we should live in the moment. Till caught. Repent at leisure.
DeleteAnyway, glad to see you are picking up on my way(s). My "fourty" days in blogland's desert weren't for nothing after all.
U
Jesus !
DeleteThis Ursula chick is a real asshole
I couldn’t possibly comment
DeleteCheap humor .. or not.. if you share a laugh, a chuckle, a guffaw..it was well worth it...
DeleteBet it didn't take them long!
ReplyDeleteCheeky
DeleteIt appears, when motivated, Phillip could muster some humor. Sending the card to your manager was a bit risky. Today, people are advised to be careful about what they put on Facebook, as employers often check this out prior to hiring.
ReplyDeleteSusan , I was the manager, he sent it to the ward
DeleteA friend (who could tell a story that made you laugh even if it wasn't funny) said she had been to the gym and realised that she needed to hurry to get to the bank before it closed.
ReplyDeleteShe was in line when she noticed that underpants from earlier were in the leg of the track suit bottoms. She shook her leg until they fell out.
The man behind her tapped her on the shoulder and said "I think you dropped something".
She looked down and said "not mine".
Her facial expressions added to the story. It's probably not funny for the retelling.
Helen
Oh Helen
DeleteI did the samething at the garage outside the village
I have never met anyone so proud of their uncleanliness as you. I am genuinely baffled.
ReplyDeleteI am scruffy , food covered , untidy ,
DeleteI’m not proud of it
It’s just a truth
I can laugh at it …but it still remains a problem
DeleteHave you ever tried washing your arse?
DeleteOf lord Tom , it was a one off 25 years ago
DeleteYou could eat your dinner off my buttocks now
DeleteReally , I doubt that
DeleteTry me
DeleteThere's a lot of arses around this evening-Such Fun!x
DeleteBaffling indeed, Tom. Maybe his mother didn't teach him how to wipe/wash his bottom properly. Nearly sixty years later he still hasn't got the hang of it. Give it another thirty and some carer will keep him streak free. In this case I'd say "better late than never" doesn't apply.
DeleteAnon, I join you in your doubt. A guy who lets his dog nibble dead skin off his feet? Seriously, how much more "appealing" (make that appalling) can it get?
U
You could apply to be a contestant on the tv quiz Mastermind Ursula topic-John Gray of Trelawnyd x
DeleteFlis, I am sure you'd beat me hands down.
DeleteU
As flis dedicates her life to John Gray's blog and readers comments and intervention on John's behalf, I have to agree with Ursula. She would clean his bottom with her thatch in a twink.
DeleteI would try to restrain him-but he is a cheeky monkey x
DeleteThatch would best not be stroked after being up John's arse.
DeleteLovely , ladies
DeleteIn "South Park" Cartman famously says, "Respect My Authoritah!" It would be very difficult to respect anybody's "authoritah" if you had seen a photo of that team leader's skid-marked underpants.
ReplyDeleteRevenge?
ReplyDeleteI agree with flis....too many arses showing themselves!
ReplyDeleteJo in Auckland
Gross. We laugh but I worry that such oh so charming John traits: farts, holes in the crotch underwear, food stained shirts [old and hole ridden also], general unkempt-ness are detrimental to your finding that much longed for partner.
ReplyDeleteI don’t need a partner Lizzy
DeleteThis is a silly little story
One swallow doesn’t make a summer
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ReplyDeleteBritish humor can be an acquired taste ..
ReplyDeleteWell I suppose it is if you compare it to the Bamforth seaside postcards of old.
DeleteIt had a slightly nasty tinge to it, apart from the skid mark, and like one of the other comments above, I was wondering if it was revenge for something and did you not see him anymore?
DeleteI never picked up on any nastiness , even though the relationship was later toxic in many ways
DeleteI remember it as just funny and somewhat bizarre but I have a nurses humour I suppose
It didn't seem a very nice thing to do actually.
DeletePerhaps I never saw the edge in the prank
DeleteJust when I think you’ve told it all, John...
ReplyDeleteLol
DeleteSkid marks or not you always smell Happy x
ReplyDeleteYes, Clinique ……..
DeleteLol that would surprise many here who would love to think I stink
And you have hugged me
Well THIS certainly created an interesting comment stream. I must say, Phil's prank seems rather mean, but you gotta admire the creativity.
ReplyDeleteIt never ceases to surprise me
DeleteI know of a lady who asked her husband to refrain from cutting his toenails in the sitting room to no avail-he continued to proceed-The lady quietly collected them,grinding the offending items in her mill and then added the powder to his gravy x
ReplyDeleteLord
Delete