Nu has just rung. Her fractured wrist is worse than it originally looked which is a pisser..
We talked and laughed as we always do but I could tell she had something else to talk about.
She told me that she had heard that the Prof was getting married again.
Strangely, and from nowhere, I had already felt that this was on the cards
But I suddenly couldn’t speak and felt as though I had been punched in the face.
I hung up and burst into tears.
It’s a lovely spring day again, and I’d planned to see a Danish Romantic comedy at the Storyhouse.
I think I’ll take a miss on that one now.
The girls have found rabbit smells in the garden and are frantically following trails
I think I will do some shopping later, I need a new lamp for the living room
Hey ho
That must to be painful to hear John-be extra gentle with yourself just now and lick any wound x
ReplyDeleteHard to hear, but a new lamp sounds like a good swap for an old husband.
ReplyDeleteWhen my ex-husband came round boasting that he was getting married again and telling me that I would be a lonely old woman and he was sorted, I just grinned at him and wished him well ... oh and threw a plate at the wall with such force after he left that I had to hang a new picture and leave it behind in my rented house to hide the gouge. She took him for every penny he had and the house and left him for someone else after two years.
Karma is sometimes an ally, she's not always a bitch.
Buy the lamp and then play with the dogs in the sunshine. The Prof has moved on, and boy oh boy have you moved on too, just look at all your recent accomplishments.
What Sue said!
DeleteI loved your comment yesterday that you were so happy about the bathroom renovation - and am so sad today that you are upset about the proff getting married . I think your bathroom is more important in the scheme of things - your life, your home and cottage , your family and friends, the dogs, and the car are so much more important - take care sweetie.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, John. I know this was difficult news. As I've told you before, I learned about you through my mother. She read your blog daily. I remember her telling me about your break up with the Prof and she was so distressed for you. She's been gone for over two years now but I feel like her warmth and spirit are still with me. We're both sending you a big hug.
ReplyDeleteSo, so sorry to hear this, but as "a smaller life" says
ReplyDeleteKarmer is sometimes an ally. Do some retail therapy, a new lamp sounds good. And you really have moved on, you have accomplished so many things. Enjoy your life, animals & friends ~ have a good weekend. love Ro xx
It's normal to grieve for what could/should/might have been John, dry you're tears, hoik up your braces and look forward to what will be.
ReplyDeleteHugs💖
ReplyDeleteMy ex’s mother was babysitting the girls one day when I’d been called into work. When I went to pick them up, who was standing on the porch but their dad ─ whom I’d escaped from 10 years previously, fled with just the clothes I had on my back and twin babies in my arms. He was standing there, arm around his brand new wife, grinning, proudly showing her off as an intended insult to me. Next I heard, he’d come home from work, found she’d moved out (I say fled like I did), taken all the furniture with her. So, like Smaller Life said ... Karma's not always a bitch, sometimes she's an ally.
ReplyDeleteBless.. I think that feeling of rejection can be likened to the feeling of grief. Be brave, you're the better man.
ReplyDeleteHere, have a hankie to mop your tears. How come that Nu knows, and why did she tell you? Hope you didn't smash your phone.
ReplyDeleteYour garden and the vista beyond look lush.
U
Hugs to you today, John.
ReplyDeleteGiven the Prof's track record, I'd rather have a new custom bathroom. Add another feature to your bathroom and be happy. You deserve so much more and the Prof, well, he'll get his own all in good time. Karma is real.
ReplyDeleteHave a pleasant weekend, John!
ReplyDeleteI know that crushing, physical pain, your heart being broken all over again .. because you loved him so, and a big part of you still does. Yes, this will also pass, you know it, but for now it hurts. Let it be ..
ReplyDeleteJohn, your happiness no longer depends on the Prof. You have a bright future ahead of you and a new bathroom! Hugs, Elaine
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that you had such a jolt of news, but at least the news came to you from someone who cares about you,and you were at home and could sit down ad take a deep breath and gather your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you John. Take care.
Today, I know just how you feel. No words can change that, only time.
ReplyDeleteThat's the thing with grief, as I too have found; it eventually stops being right at the front of your brain and moves a little bit back, but it can be yanked to the front again by such a reminder. I'm sorry you had this pain today. It will ease, and I know you know that too.
ReplyDeleteI wish my words could take hurt away. I wish I had a wand to wave a magic spell. All I can hope is that you can feel the good vibes your followers send you. We're always cheering you on. I hope it helps a little. xx
ReplyDeleteNews like this feels like an emotional rollercoaster of feelings you thought you buried away. The love for them, the hurt you felt during the break up, remembering all the good and bad times you had with them leaves you emotionally exhausted. Time to live with the news, let your emotions out, rely on those good people who have gotten you through this far and absorb the blow, then move on. You may have had a step-back emotionally but it will resolve. The best days are ahead for you, dear boy.
ReplyDeleteAnnie
I am so sorry for your pain. It is hard when dreams shatter. A new lamp sounds perfect.
ReplyDeletelizzy
Upsetting news for sure but I think this is the point where you draw a line in the sand and go forth freely knowing that that part of your life is definitely over and continue looking forward with positivity and love for your 'new' life. x
ReplyDeleteJohn, just stop and think, how long will it take him to leave this new husband and he will, let's face it, he hasn't got the best of track records.
ReplyDeleteI've always thought that you kept the very best from that relationship, Mary, Winnie and Arnold and that lovely cottage.
Also, what a good friend you have in Nu, that couldn't have been an easy thing to do but she knew that she was the best person to tell you rather than you hear it from elsewhere.
Don't feel hurt, you just feel sorry for the poor bugger who he's going to hurt next.
Sending you a great big hug xxx
Thinking of you with much love. You are an amazing bloke and you deserve to live your best life. Jxx
ReplyDeleteI know you won't want to read/hear this, but please, don't be sad....
ReplyDeleteYou weren't treated well by Chris, and in moments of clarity you know that!
I understand that you have lonely times now, and that your life isn't what you expected it to be, but trust me, you're far, far better off without the Prof.
I wonder how long his new marriage will last, before he gets bored? Not long, I'll bet!
This evening, you have a large Gin and I'll get the voodoo doll and the pins out! X
No harsh words eh…. No need for them
ReplyDeleteI’ve bought some zombie dvds as well as a new lamp and lots of accessories for the new bathroom
John, please hang onto the feeling you had yesterday as the bathroom guy left and you were standing and photographing YOUR lovely home... "I feel so happy"... NOTHING can take that feeling away. You just need to hold onto it. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteLots of things I could say, but all I WILL say is I’m thinking of you and if I were nearby I’d give you an enormous hug.
ReplyDeleteI can't add anything to what has already been said, so I'll just send a big hug your way. Ready? Here it comes... xxx
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that Nu's news broke your heart just the day after you were flying high after the little bathroom man left or, of course, at any time. The Prof proved himself totally shallow and selfish as well as betraying his vows when he left you, I hope you can move on so he cannot hurt you anymore. He's not worth it.
ReplyDeleteLovely garden and the girls seem to enjoy it.
Big hugs!
Shall we gatecrash the wedding and throw rocks for confetti?
ReplyDeleteJoking aside, from the little I know of his character I can't imagine that it'll be a happy and fulfilled marriage. There's one way of looking at the news......a nail in a half opened coffin for a rotten corpse.
Big Hugs x
No bad mouthing mave...its the way it is x
DeleteOh, and pictures, please, of your new lamp and the bathroom accessories. We await a view of your impeccable choices!
ReplyDeleteMore hugs!
Bra straps, big knickers - you can do it!
ReplyDeleteJohn, Hugs to you. I am so sorry the news hurt you but I think it might be a blessing to have heard it from your "bestie" Nu.... she knows you and your heart so could be forthright , understanding and gentle with the telling. You take care, I am sorry for your hurt.
ReplyDeleteJoyce in Indiana
XO
ReplyDeleteWhat a lot of love for you.Amazing.Cwtches from me.
ReplyDeleteBarbarax
John, I completely understand ... was in the same situation; my x lied and alienated my sons - not admitting he was abusive to save his fanny. he remarried within one year and my adult sons became part of her family. you know the pain will pass. in a way, it's good to have the closure. hugs from the base of the mini-mountain in Maine where the sun is shining & birds chirping.
ReplyDeleteThe Danish/Norwegian drama (no comedy) is crap. I just walked out after an hour. X
ReplyDeleteGlad I didn’t go then , the Venezuela zombie film was very good
DeleteI believe it was supposed to be funny but I did not see any humour in the hour I was there. It did not work for me at all.
DeleteHugs.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteBeen there. Treat yourself to a heated floor in your new bath, dear heart. XO
ReplyDeleteIt seems lately that you find joy (hard-won in these times) and then something happens to snatch it away. Im so sorry for the pain this news causes. Nu is a good friend to want you to hear it from a friend. Here’s to more joy in your future
ReplyDeleteBe strong my dear, dear friend.
ReplyDeleteJohn, take heart from all of the lovely comments about you. Look after yourself and get planning your next treats, you are soooo worth it xx
ReplyDeleteIt’s a tough one. You’ll move on and recover your equilibrium in time, but it hurts. One day, it won’t.
ReplyDeleteI bought a new lamp, and a small rug and lots of black accessories for the new bathroom
ReplyDeleteI also bought 2 Komi each film dvds and some sushi
Zombie film dvds
DeleteAre you going for a Japanese theme John x
DeleteI know the feeling all too well friend. When my ex and I split up and on very good terms, about five years later he too re-partnered, I got teary eyed too. I don't know why it's it was a mutual decision, but I did.
ReplyDeleteAren't you glad you dodged that bullet? Be happy!
ReplyDeleteEnough of anon please
DeleteI'm so sorry. Perhaps right now, where the rich and wonderful life you have is held in contrast to life that might have been, the other seems so much richer and more wonderful. It is the nature of grief as you of all people know, you are so good at helping others with theirs. Your bathroom is going to be beautiful. <3
ReplyDeleteYes a shiny new bathroom ………
DeleteI was, many people are, surprised by how long the triggers last, what you felt was normal, it was painful. Retail therapy and live well.
ReplyDeleteI’m ok x
DeleteTears after a shock, perfectly fitting. Now you are calm and will carry on beautifully. Have a great weekend.
ReplyDeleteI just wished he had told me himself as someone here mentioned earlier
DeleteI am reminded of what I felt back then and the day
Just a bit worthless
If I can stick my two pennyworth in here, John.
DeleteYOU are priceless, HE is worthless. xx
HH, is your observation meant to make John feel better? John loved this man. So, unless you doubt John, Chris was, clearly, NOT worthless. Just because things didn't pan out the way both parties had hoped when tying the knot doesn't mean we need to cast one as the goodie, the other as the baddie. Black and white is a good look on a penguin, a waiter and a man's Evening Dress - rarely in human relationships.
DeleteU
Yes indeed Ursula, and John does not like bad mouthing of Chris, HH , and nor should he. I am surprised he didn't delete your comment.
DeleteMy feelings are my own to own and good intensions aside I would never of married a man I didn’t love dearly and by definition was lovable .
DeleteIt’s just another path to cross and one that unfortunately me by surprise yesterday
Rachel I've just answered it
DeleteOh good. I noticed that bad mouthing is rightly not on and some were deleted.
DeleteVery Good xx
DeleteRegarding "Nu's News" I make no comment other than to say that I admire you for moving on and fighting for security and happiness.
ReplyDeleteSending you all the best wishes.
ReplyDeleteA good pack and a lovely cottage seem like a good swap
ReplyDeleteNothing else to add this late in the piece...so will send you a bit hug and a push in the right direction. {{{HUGGGGG}}}.
ReplyDeleteJo in Auckland
I'm sorry, for I know on first hearing it hurts. I've been there. Just remember you are now living a whole new, wonderful life. Like others have said, Karma works in all kinds of helpful ways. Enjoy your Zombie films and new lamp and just think how much fun it is going to be designing that new bath!
ReplyDeleteThat must be very difficult for you John. May I suggest that you sing that little bit louder with your choir; I can't think of anything better to help your pain.
ReplyDeleteAm so sorry the news brought back that horrible feeling of before. Hope you can take comfort in your family, friends and home until it passes. Sit in the sun today and let it heal you. Like YP, I too admire your strength and courage in building your new life.
ReplyDeleteIf you stand by the river for long enough the body of your enemy will come floating past.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea where I found this saying but it has proven true for me.
Take a deep breath. You are doing good work.
Hello John whenever I feel the hurt from being dumped by my ex, who rang me to crow about his new relationship, I walk around my new home. I look at my achievements here and marvel at how much I love this place. Much like you do. X She left him!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about Nu's news..mending can take some time.
ReplyDeleteThe other news...tears of relief?
That is a beautiful garden view xx
Tits up, chest out, onwards and upwards. xxx
ReplyDeleteMassive hugs John.It's never easy hearing that type of news:(
ReplyDeleteNext time You need a man that smiles ;)
So sorry to read this John - worse than a slap round the face with a wet kipper. Sending some hugs your way.
ReplyDeleteLove is never wasted, even when it is lost.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that you have been hurt.
I think you are wonderful...milli