Apologies

 

I’m usually very responsible when taking the girls for a walk
Mary is always on a lead, and Dorothy who returns to me as soon as I click my fingers is leashed whenever a dog she doesn’t know looms into view or a cyclist appears on the walkway we venture down daily.
I didn’t see the man happily eating his bag of crisps this morning
It was raining softly and I had my head down
He was sat back, away from the path and was obscured by long wet grass
But Dorothy saw him.

Moments later all I heard was yelling
“ FOR FUCK’S SAKE!” the voice bellowed
Dorothy shot passed me with a cheese and onion Crisp bag in her mouth and moments later a middle aged man in grey jogging bottoms thundered out onto the path
Sans crisps, he stood there, red faced with two perfect and very muddy bulldog paw prints on each thigh of his joggers, then stormed off with my ineffectual and perfuse apologies ringing in his ears.

92 comments:

  1. And she is so cute, who could stay mad at her for very long.

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  2. That is a peeve of mine, jumpy dogs. Big or small, I don't want them on me without an invitation. But dang, she really is cute! I could forgive her.

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    1. Absolutely Karla ...badly behaved dogs are a menace. She is stil a work in progress , but I am totally to blame ....

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  3. I would have been as irate as the man with the crisps. Clearly Dorothy hasn't quite grasped the concept of leaving other people alone and not coveting their crisps!

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    1. Absolutely , he had every right
      I just wish he’d stayed longer for me to give him a proper apology

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  4. Whispers of Winnie, maybe

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  5. Oh dear...it would take a saint not to be angry...but I sympathise with you, too, trying to modify Dorothy's behaviour - it's not easy. Dogs are Jeckyll and Hyde, lovely furry friends who can turn into evil little swine!

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    1. Generally she is doing very well . Her confidence is drastically improved with people . When food is not an issue, she is polite with strangers and waits for a pat , seated ...

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  6. Dorothy's socialising skills need a bit more work, methinks! xx

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  7. We all react differently, but even if I had blurted out the shocked obscenity, which I might well have, I am fairly sure I would have soon laughed and asked if I could give the culprit a pat and a scratch behind the ears (Dorothy, not you).

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    1. Some people are very frightened of dogs Andrew. I have learned that over the years . Also a dog that jumps up on a person is lacking, etiquette ....I mean that seriously as dogs that jump onto other dogs are seriously being rude and are quite likely to get themselves into a fight....

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  8. My usual morning laugh. Thanks, John.

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  9. Does she like all flavours?

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  10. Perfuse?...permeate or suffuse with a liquid, colour, or quality. As well as chomping on crisps, I wonder what that fellow was doing in the long grass?

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  11. Well, I guess we learned nothing stand between Winnie and, anything when she wants to eat!!!! She's bold!

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  12. LOL! Sorry John but this was funny!

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  13. Barbara Anne1:28 pm

    Dearie me, does this mean that Dorothy, too, needs to be on a lead? Might this be such a rare event that you need only give the poor man a potted plant, a pie, or several bags of crisps in apology?

    Hugs!

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    1. He was off before I could even offer compensation

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  14. Dorothy strikes again, LOL! That little scamp!

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  15. John,
    Thanks for the morning smile.

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  16. I don't know if I blame Dorothy. I might have done the same thing.

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  17. Another Talking Pictures fan?
    Rumpole of the Bailey was on too; first rate script and acting.

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  18. Sorry, I was commenting on The Earth Dies Screaming and in an effort to delete my comment and move it I repeated it!

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    1. No problem, they show some great old movies don’t they?

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  19. I can see how he was peeved, but if that's the worst thing that happened to him on that day, he's lucky.

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  20. ROFL. Thank you for a great laugh!!!!!

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  21. I am afraid I would be mad also!

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  22. Oh what a good laugh to start my day. That Dorothy- what a rascal. Reminds me of the time I was in San Diego by the harbor eating fish and chips and as I lifted the fish to my mouth a seagull swooped right between my fingers and my lips and stole my fish. I laughed then and too bad the man couldn't see the humor with Dorothy.

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    1. I used to love watching fish and chips eaters on Broardstairs beach getting dive bombed
      Great fun

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  23. This started my day with an out and out laugh!! So funny! Yay Dorothy!! What a rascal she is.

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  24. Hahahahaha
    Ohhhh bad doggie!

    Hahahahaha

    XOXO

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  25. Now he has a great story to tell.

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  26. Probably not a dog owner....

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    1. I agree with your comment about that some people are scared of dogs, maybe that was the case.

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  27. Since there's an ocean and half a continent between us, I feel safe in finding this hilarious. I will certainly keep this in mind should I ever see a bulldog headed my way and I have food in hand though!

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  28. Anonymous5:14 pm

    Made me laugh out loud!!

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  29. I think I know how you felt. It's probably a bit like when your child does something they shouldn't and you feel really awful and want to make amends. These things happen though

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    1. Yes...something very much like that lol

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  30. i'm sorry but i'm rooting for dorothy. sometimes you just have to take what you want.

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  31. Northriding5:39 pm

    I was taking a walk with a friend along Ormesby Beck recently and we encountered two fairly sizable but friendly dogs on leads, when one suddenly got up on its hind legs and kissed me on the mouth. The owner was mortified and couldn't apologise enough. I was so flabbergasted all I could say was that it was fine and I wasn't frightened of dogs (I thought later I could have said no tongues on a first meeting but too late as always) My friend thought it was hilarious and pointed out that it wasn't me that the attraction but the scent of the kippers I had eaten for my previous meal.....

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    1. Dogs get excited but jumping is puppy behaviour it’s naughty

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  32. I love dogs, but I'd have been scared and upset, so I sympathize w the man. And give him credit for just walking off, not getting in an altercation with you.

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    1. He was so angry I thought he’d punch me

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    2. More details of what he actually said to you would be appreciated (or maybe you are keeping them for your book). Did Dorothy appreciate the depth of her her sin, or was she too busy getting her greedy chops all cheesy and oniony?

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    3. He said nothing to me Andrew, I just heard the “ for fucks sake” before he appeared then he marched off incredibly quickly, he was angry and upset and didn’t want a confrontation which made me feel worse

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    4. I am guessing the capital letter "F" featured prominently in the poor robbed fellow's measured response...

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    5. Or maybe he marched off to fetch his shotgun...

      I know it is dreadful inexcusable behaviour by Team Dorothy... but it is a bloody hilarious story all the same.

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    6. I felt dreadful , he was obviously happily eating his crisps

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    7. Maybe you'll meet him again someday and you can shake his hand and tell him you are grateful he had the self control to walk away.

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    8. I wouldn’t recognise him , apart from the joggers

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  33. That’s hilarious

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  34. Ooops! Naughty Dorothy! Are you going to have to keep her on a lead? It would have been much more serious if it was a child with those chips. Perhaps Dorothy had stopped beside him politely first, then seized the moment, and thus surprised him?

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    1. Anonymous9:37 pm

      or perhaps not...

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    2. Yes I understand Virginia ,
      I want to balance giving her , her head to increase her confidence with being in control

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    3. I will be more vigilant in future

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    4. Anon is right...I am totally to blame ...Dorothy was being just Dorothy

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  35. The people with"perfect dogs"in their eyes look at me with a look of annoyance-when their little dog puts it's nose right in my dogs bottom he doesn't like it!-When my lovely lily approaches a dog and if they don't like her she takes the hint-Last week there was an incident where I walk and the lovely ladies husband who is a bit unsteady on his feet was knocked to the ground by a large dog-rangers were assisting until the ambulance arrived-I offered to take her dog but family were on their way x

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    1. Ps-I forgot to say my very friendly with everyone lovely lily who has lived with me for 7 years wears a muzzle off lead because she will eat anything and has ran up to picnicers and pushed her nose into a bag of goodies and the lady stood up shouting at me at a lovely country manor fete-she then jumped into a lily pond to my embarrassment and a very refined gentleman helped me catch her after she had somehow sommersaulted out of her harness x

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  36. It wasn't my crisps she stole, but I had to laugh out loud at the image of Dorothy shooting past you with her ill-gotten gains in her mouth. Didn't Winnie knock somebody down on the same path back in her day?

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    1. She pulled an elderly lady out of her wellingtons

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  37. Oh so bloody funny; just made my day as had a good belly laugh; I hope Dorothy enjoyed her gains xx

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    1. She ran back to the car like a cheetah

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  38. If a dog ran up and snatched my food, I would probably laugh.

    Love,
    Janie

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  39. Would you consider wearing a harness belt yourself John -in certain situations they can be very useful x

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  40. Once my parents' dog snagged a licorice from the hand of a small child as she passed. Outraged crying from the tot. The dog simply ducked his head under a coat hanging from the back of a chair to eat his treat where no one could see him.

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  41. I say: Way to go, Dotty! Gutsy little bulldog!
    I just hope the crisps didn't give her the poops!

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  42. Anonymous2:13 am

    Sorry but this is weird to me, is it normal for you all to eat lunch, or potato chips, outside in the rain?

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    1. Although, to be fair, it's not always raining.

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    2. It's all part of the charm If eccentric to have chips and a cup of tea outside in inclement weather-We love it x

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    3. If you don't do things outside in light rain in Wales then you won't be doing much outside at all. (Same applies here in Scotland, where I often sit in the garden in my hooded jacket enjoying a beer or a cup of tea in light rain.)

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  43. Oh dear. Worse than Seagulls.

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  44. I actually laughed out loud when I read of Dorothy's latest escapade. What a gal.

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  45. He could not have had very good reactions.

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  46. I did have a chuckle. Although I did feel for the man losing his bag of crisps--- and I wondered what his story was eating crisps in the grass by the side of the road, was that food important to him?

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  47. I'm sorry, is it wrong of me to be still grinning behind my hand.

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  48. Oh my! At least he was wearing jogging bottoms and not a three-piece suit!

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