Tuesday, 18 May 2021

Fat Balls

 


I’ve only just realised that I’ve grown a full beard .
I’ve had it tucked away beneath my mask for so long, I’ve got out of the habit of looking at my face.
I FaceTimed a Sheffield friend last night and noticed it...
I look like a pirate
Dorothy ate several bird fat balls at Trendy Carol’s the day before yesterday so has been suffering from explosive shits for the last day or so which has been lovely.
In between bouts of mopping I’ve been reading The Fine Art of Invisible Detection by Robert Goddard in the bedroom window seat
The ash trees in the corner of the Church Yard are not doing well, I’ve noticed 


70 comments:

  1. I hope you don't mind me saying John but in those stylish specs sitting in your armchair and your description of your recent times Alan Bennett came into my mind x

    ReplyDelete
  2. John I think you look very handsome!

    About the ash trees.... I hope your area does not have the "ash borer" disease that we have gone thru. Around my area all of them have died.
    Best to you from Joyce In Indiana

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. John, I think you look very much like an old geezer with a beard...

      Delete
  3. Be glad Dorothy isn't a parrot perched on your shoulder 😁

    ReplyDelete
  4. I like a man with a beard, that's why I married one! Poor Dorothy, she does get in some scrapes, and poor you having to deal with the aftermath. You might have to get planting again if those ash trees are diseased! xx

    ReplyDelete
  5. Barbara Anne4:48 pm

    What in heaven's name are "bird fat balls"???? Poor Dorothy to have had such a bad reaction and poor John who has had much to clean up. Too bad one of the deckhands wasn't available to swab the decks for you. Arg!!! :)
    I think you look perfectly fine. DH also has a beard.

    Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They are seed balls held together with suet

      Delete
    2. Barbara Anne9:03 pm

      Ta! I can see why they made Dorothy sick and hope she's better now.

      Hugs!

      Delete
  6. The beard looks great! Will you keep it through the summer? (If we get a summer. It might get hot under a mask.)
    Your description of Dorothy's problem makes me wince...runny bulldog scale...ah well, you're a dog owner...just part of the price we pay for loving them, with their disgusting eating habits (anything...)

    ReplyDelete
  7. damn, this post title is a disappointment. I was hoping to see some fat balls (on lovely hairy men, of course).

    the full beard looks good on you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Curious as to just how Dorothy was able to eat bird seed suet balls aka Bird Fat Balls [not ugly, hairy dingleberries] ... usually the suet balls are hung up on birdfeeders or from tree limbs and not usually accessible by chubby little bulldogs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Also ... how can you NOT realize you've sprouted a full beard? Do you NOT look at yourself in a mirror every morning when you comb your hair, wash your face, brush your teeth ... survey the facial territory?!? SMH

      Delete
    2. To answer your questions
      I don’t know
      No

      Delete
  9. I've investigated whilst lounging after too much floor cleaning-I think you are possibly a bear man John(not sure what I am)x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How rude-I have abstained for over 10 years x

      Delete
    2. flis.6:38 pm

      Ps-very sorry John-I have delved into google again and yes I believe you are right-I had not heard the term fag hag before-(last time I was called a hag was from my trolls son)-I like it like that x

      Delete
  10. There have been lots of ash trees cut down locally due to ash dieback, let's hope that's not the case in your village. You need a motorbike and helmet to go with the beard 😀

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh dear - have they got Ash Dieback?
    I suspect a lot of people will have a full beard now they permanently remove their masks

    ReplyDelete
  12. i really like the beard. you are looking more and more like russel crowe on your sidebar.

    ReplyDelete
  13. You look nice. The Ash trees sound poorly. The puppy ate masses of bird seed having ripped open the sack and has been pooping out seeds for days 😂

    ReplyDelete
  14. You look pensive. Be well.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Now you and your band of guerrilla tree-planters will have to plant new ash trees in the churchyard too!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Our ash tress in Ontario are being attacked by an insect. Our butternut trees are suffering too.
    we give our labrador pork scratchings rather than regular dog treats for training.

    ReplyDelete
  17. This is not the first time you have tricked me into reading your post with that title. One day the wind will change.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Yorkshire Liz6:39 pm

    My husband had had a full beard all his adult life, and most people thought it hilarious I never did see his chin. Consequently I am very fond of beards, and think it suits you! Someone once said that kissing a man without a beard was like dark eating a meal without salt and pepper. Or fat balls! Depends o. Your point of view......

    ReplyDelete
  19. The beard suits you, I think.

    Fat balls! Haha! I need to take a lesson from you on naming my blog posts.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Yes, I thought, "Oh here we go!" when I read your blog title. But it didn't go where I thought it might!

    ReplyDelete
  21. I think you look handsome.

    ReplyDelete
  22. That's a great picture of you and your beard looks neat and well trimmed. So many men these days have rather long "pandemic beards" and many are not well trimmed!

    ReplyDelete
  23. i like beards, and pirates xx

    ReplyDelete
  24. Oh lord. Our dog "recycles" at times. I had my girlfriends over to see the new house over a year ago. About a half an hour after they left, the dog vomited up a nasty pile of poop, onto the carpet where we were all just sitting. So glad she waited until company had left. Ugh! They're lucky they're cute!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. William my old welsh terrier used to back into my bookcase and poop halfway up it

      Delete
  25. Got me worried re beard and I'm female . Tipped yoghurt over my scrubs - thankfully the apron hides the stain. What joy are we ever going to be without all this PPE?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We have a date that masks may be taken off ...July

      Delete
  26. love beards if well kept - husband and 2 sons have one. suurounded by facial hair

    ReplyDelete
  27. Pirates say, "Splice the Mainbrace!" and "Avast me Hearties!" They wear eyepatches and drink gallons of rum. They do not work in hospices caring for people whose lives are entering the endgame.

    ReplyDelete
  28. You look awfully stuffy in that photo. Still adorable, but stuffy. That book, "The Fine Art of Invisible Detection by Robert Goddard in the Bedroom Window Seat" sounds unusual.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Time to replace the ash trees with more laburnum?
    Bonnie in Minneapolis

    ReplyDelete
  30. Our Rocky once ate a seed feeder ball. The wind had blown it onto the grass and being an Elkhound with an appetite (they will eat anything) devoured it.

    Two days of perfectly formed seeded stools dropped on the lawn.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I do like your current glasses.

    ReplyDelete
  32. New glasses, a beard and a book - all very academic looking. Why, oh why, do our dogs eat odd things and then get disgustingly sick?

    ReplyDelete
  33. Looks good on you, you should keep it.

    ReplyDelete
  34. I love the beard - it is definitely echos of Russel Crowe (with a much nicer nature thank God! - he's a nasty piece of work). Dorothy is plain stupid - she must have felt sick well before the second ball. It's a pity there isn't a crate you could put her in to minimise the cleanup area.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I'm looking at all the pictures of you in the sidebar to the right, and your face is fairly bearded in all of them, so it's not like there's that much extra growth.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Sometimes I'm glad I don't have a dog - this is one of those times.
    Will you keep the longer beard or do a tidy up when masks come off for good?

    ReplyDelete
  37. You are looking thoughtful in the photo. Quiet contemplation?
    Our local birds rejected our last purchase of fat balls! Perhaps for good reason...
    An interesting thing about Ash dieback. There are two genetically different strains of Ash in the British Isles, and only one is susceptible to it.

    ReplyDelete
  38. You’re very handsome ♥️

    ReplyDelete
  39. I don't think all men suit beards.... but you do. You look very suave or swerve as my mum used to say. Love the specs too. Am pleased I don't have dogs to clean up after... but my cats keep me busy enough with headless mice etc.

    Jo in Auckland

    ReplyDelete
  40. Lovely photo of you John the glasses really suit you. I hope Dorothy is feeling better.

    ReplyDelete

I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes