Friday, 5 March 2021

Fields Of Gold


This morning I took Mary and Trendy Carol’s dog, Bengi to the groomers. Both are well trained in car travel and sit  on the back seat like statues. 
It was a pleasure to be out without the usual bouncing hysterics from Dorothy 

I wouldn’t be without her, but looking after a dog with their own unique issues can be a challenge at times.
The above video is an example of Dorothy’s odd, and needy behaviour when out walking in a group. She is totally ignoring the other dog that was playfully sitting on the sidelines as well as Chic Eleanor who was watching with some interest nearby.
Her focus lies totally with me and totally me, which can be exhausting at times, for both of us, but I can see areas where her confidence is improving which is encouraging.

I dropped a neat bunch of smart tulips off at Gentleman Ralph’s farm with a card. 
There is a strange paralysis people experience when visiting the very newly bereaved and even with my experiences within the hospice , I am not immune to the do I knock? Do I just leave the flowers on the doorstep dilemma? 
I left them on the doorstep   
The farmhouse was quiet.

I dropped Benji off, picked up a doe-eyed Dorothy and came home and prepared lentil and Chorizo soup in the slow cooker. Then the dogs, Albert and I made ourselves comfortable in my office in the East wing which I already made comfortable and warm.
I have some writing and some film scene watching to do for my film studies course 
But all I have completed so far it this blog, listened to Eva Cassidy , drank coffee from my striped bucket cup and watched the world go by , in the lane , a lane that snakes up to the church in a lazy s




47 comments:

  1. I love the way she suckles at you. I bet if you were topless she'd be at your nipple like a starving Biafran.

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    1. A strange visual there

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    2. Ah, I see. The comment by an anonymous I read some weeks ago has been deleted.
      So you like the thought of a starving Biafran at your nipple, gently going John?
      Why would I not be surprised.

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  2. Replies
    1. Yes. It’s nearly half past eight and I’ve just woke up after sleeping away the majority of the late afternoon.

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  3. I'm sorry to hear about the death of your neighbor and yes, I never really know what to say either, other than I'm sorry and then a big hug which of course we can't do right now.

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  4. Barbara Anne3:10 pm

    Oh, sweet and very needy Dorothy. In kindly and repeatedly showing her that you can be trusted, you've saved her life, you know.
    It is hard to know what to say to the newly bereaved but those tulips and the card will speak for you. The hugs must wait a couple of weeks.
    I love that painted rock! A line from an old cartoon movie was "The greatest adventure is what lies ahead." and for some reason, that has stuck in my head.

    Hugs!

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    1. You always say a lot in a just one sentence ...
      Thanks babs

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  5. Atleast twice I've been schooled about the family of the deceased. The first time, I was welcomed and drawn in with open arms as a breath of fresh air, a break from the deep sorrow felt by the adult children who were clearing out their parents' home over a weekend visit where they'd come in from all over the country. The second time it was me who'd just lost a mother, and friends dropped a gift off outside the door and left, thinking we wouldn't want to be interrupted. But we would've loved them to come in. It is probably different for everyone, of course. My take-away has been that my presence, even if it's only for a few minutes, somehow lightens their load. Then again, so do the small kindnesses that are not accompanied by a human appearance. And the things people say when they don't know what to say ... quite often they are the things that comfort and that are remembered for many years after! A farm neighbour said at Mom's funeral, "You had the best of mothers," and that meant so much to me and is not forgotten almost 16 years later. -Kate

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    1. In my work , validation is of prime importance in supporting the bereaved .
      An acknowledgement of care given , “ you did her/ him proud “ comment goes a long way

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  6. It could also be that Dorothy had a sudden interest in the elastic of your shorts.

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  7. It is hard to know the right thing. People are all different. They all grieve differently. The need is never the same.

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  8. I missed your post about the Gentleman Farmer. I am so sorry for your loss and I hope you, the village, and the Farmer's family find comfort in sharing happy memories of him.

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    1. He has been the subject of many hushed conversations in the lane today

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  9. Sometimes the intense pressure of loss needs to be shared with those that care. Those who come forward will be remembered gratefully.

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    1. Stubblejumpers Cafe12:34 am

      Yes, isn't it. I'll remember it. Thank you.

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  10. Joan (Devon)4:42 pm

    I am sorry for the loss of Farmer Ralph to his wife to you and the village and it is never easy to know what to do or say especially as his passing is so recent.

    4

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  11. Dorothy's behavior is kind of adorable, from this distance. But I can see how the intensity would be wearing after a while. Re. Ralph's family, I'm sure your flowers and your thoughtfulness will be appreciated no matter what!

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    1. Her behaviour has improved ten fold but out in public, where stressors are high she remains difficult

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  12. So soon after the loss of Farmer Ralph, I think tiptoeing away from your gift on the doorstep may be for the best. I'm sure his wife is overwhelmed at the moment, but knowing you are there when she is ready for company is a gift of its own.

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  13. I used to have a cat who suckled my towelling dressing gown sleeve when I cuddled him. I made it into a blanket for him to lie on and he continued to suckle it. I guess we all need a comfort blanket and you're obviously Dorothy's. I'm sure the flowers and the knowledge that you care is appreciated. xx

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    1. Albert does it occasionally on one fluffy cushion

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  14. Grief in the time of Covid is just so complicated. Myself and some friends dropped off flowers and food to the family of a friend of ours who had died much too young. The family came out to the porch and we stood on the sidewalk when we all really wanted to hug each other. You left flowers and a card so Mrs L will know you've been by, maybe when you take her some soup she'll be up to a short greeting. It's so hard to know.

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    1. Also: that Dorothy! So needy! It takes great patience to have such a needy pet.

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    2. It does, and I don’t always get it right, especially when I’ve had a bad day

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  15. Dorothy's back view does nothing for her self confidence should she see it, I fear It is the sort of back view all ladies over forty fear.

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  16. Dorothy is obviously comforted by you especially if she is in an unsure situation. My two cats each have a blanket they "sooth" on, not quite like nursing but similar.

    I'm sure the flowers are appreciated. You will have other opportunities to speak with her. Her grief is very raw now.

    I love that rock!

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    1. Yes it was a gift today ....I love it

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  17. Yes, it's very sweet and endearing to watch, but it must be crazy making!

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    1. Sometimes I have to take a very deep breath

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    2. Not unlike how I regularly feel with my brother.

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  18. What is the unusual under-the-sea object at the end? Is it art glass? Looks organic.

    I am sure your kindness is appreciated. When my dad died suddenly my mom was in a bit of a daze or shock, but as time went on she was very comforted by cards and notes and flowers [which we made note of for her.]

    lizzy

    x

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    1. It was a gift today a painted pebble

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  19. When I have been bereaved I take to my bed or sofa and don't want to be disturbed-but appreciate someone showing they care x

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  20. Given all the restrictions still in place, leaving flowers and a card for Mrs L seems the most appropriate thing to do at the moment. She knows you will be there for her, if needed.

    Eva Cassidy singing of Fields of Gold was sublime--her voice so unique. Died far too young (33) of melanoma. Her recording of Somewhere Over the Rainbow always stops me in my tracks. Pure music for remembrance.

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  21. Stubblejumpers Cafe12:39 am

    And Eva Cassidy! Is there anyone who can do what she did? I can't think of one. Most beautiful.

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  22. Aww bless her, I have a rescue Dog who behaves very similar to Dorothy.

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