I’ve always been a “ looker afterer”
That’s the nearest I can find for an accurate description of myself
I’ve never been happier than when I cook, feed and nurture someone.
By doing so
I nurture myself .
Yesterday I caught up with my covid bubble friend Ruth
She has had a bloody awful time recently and so I thought quick sticks that a night in together was the order of the day.
It was a simple evening to organise for her.....
A massive cottage pie with thick gravy flavoured with garlic and cranberry jelly
2 glasses of red
Mary cuddles all night
And a darkened living room watching All About Eve...a classic she had never seen before.
It was a lovely night.
I say this from my own perspective .
For I knew Ruth felt recharged and enjoyed herself as she said as much taking her leave at 11 pm to sleep in the cottage’s west wing with Mary tucked firmly under her arm.
Her climbing of the stairs reminded me of when the Prof went to bed with George galloping behind him
That used to please me more than anything .
Cooking for someone who is hurting is a joy.
Cooking for someone is a joy....I have so missed it.
Tucking someone up on my new couch as if they lived here made me feel good, and their laughs at Eve’s many one liners reenforced my enjoyment of Bette on her best form.
We are never truly altruistic
We do things that make ourselves feel good
All about Eve is not just a witty and incisive look at theatre life
It has a lot to say about long term friendships, friendships I was reminded of as we watched.
Yesterday I video chatted with my friend John from Sheffield
It was a warm and sweet and loving interaction
Chic Eleanor texted to sort out a coffee at McDonald’s car park next week
She sat in her car ......, me sat in mine.a conversation between two open windows
Darling john it’s been too long she typed
I so agreed.
If you haven’t watched All About Eve , please do so
Love the one liners, the acting, the clever manipulation of plot and gayness
But don’t forget the thrust of the story
It’s a really a message of friendships , of recognising and nurturing those friendships and the power of being kind
Oh, I haven't seen All About Eve in almost forever and I love the movie.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful night you planned for Ruth and yourself with good food, that wonderful movie, much needed laughs, and a dog to snuggle with during the movie and through the night. My best wishes to Ruth and to you!
How perfect, too, that you're touching base with friends near and far.
Hugs from afar!
Cheers babs x
DeleteI have never seen "all about eve". and if I lived closer to you, you could cook for me; I would love to taste one of your home made goodies.
ReplyDeleteI’d be honoured to
DeleteMy favourite Bette Davis GIF!
ReplyDeleteI love it too, I wonder if it was ad libbed
DeleteBeing nurturing is a lovely characteristic. One day you will most certainly find a special someone to nurture and be cherished in return. Also, your friends are lucky people to have you in their lives. Your dinner and movie with Ruth sounds wonderful.
ReplyDeleteAnd it was simple
DeleteHaven't seem that film for years but what a movie!
ReplyDeleteCan you please book me into the west wing when the fates allow? x
Any day xx
DeleteThe world can never have too many nurturers. I am so grateful that you are you.
ReplyDeleteI understand myself very well
DeleteThis has always been my favorite movie of Bette. The lines, the looks just everything.
ReplyDeleteI once had the first home of Bette Davis in Laguna Beach for sale with the Realtor Office I worked for.
The hook was Bette planed the two wonderful palm trees in the front yard. It was just a small cottage but. . .
How wonderful
DeleteHugs.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that both yours and Ruth's needs were met - in a truly lovely way. For both of you.
ReplyDeleteAt this time it’s tough being single
DeleteI so agree with you about cooking for others, sadly I'm less and less inclined to do it these days, not only because of Covid, but I think I've lost some of my previous confidence.
ReplyDeleteOh that’s sad,, that’s something you need to revisit cro xx
DeleteFasten your seatbelt, it's going to be a bumpy flight... I watched Lauren Bacall say that live from a loge seat in a theatre in Chicago. Here lately, every night's been a bumpy flight.
ReplyDeleteTell me more...why
DeleteLove and truth. So much of both John Grey.
ReplyDeleteThat's not my interpretation of All About Eve at all, but it is a very good movie.
ReplyDeleteI was going off piest here...of course it’s a story of the theatre, of ambition obsession, aging , the role of women the power of women , but I love the sub text about friendship
DeleteI wondered where you were yesterday. Now I know. X
ReplyDeleteIndeed you do xxx
DeleteI watched Breakfast at Tiffany's yesterday - superb as is the book by the same name.
ReplyDeleteAnother classic , and one of my favs
DeleteSounds like the perfect evening John what a lovely idea, I sure would love to borrow Mary for a sleepover.
ReplyDeleteShe’s rented out most of the time between Ruth, hattie and Trendy Carol
DeleteIt's no wonder you are so loved, John. You instinctively know what to do to make someone feel better. Wish there were more like you in the world! xx
ReplyDeleteFrom the mouth of a hooker that’s a lovely thing to say x
DeleteI remember you doing the same for me 15 years ago, after visiting my Mam during her last days. You nurtured, you hugged, you fed. No long conversation, just a room full of love and support. I have never forgotten it. You just KNEW what I needed, before sending me on my way. Love you, Nia x
ReplyDeleteI remember it well...you looked so tired xxxx
DeleteRaise a toast to being kind...it's what makes life worth living...especially now, when you have to be inventive. x
ReplyDelete“ clink”
DeleteJohn you are top of my list when it comes to nurturing friendships and being kind. You do it to perfection and there have been many times in the past few years when you have pulled me out of deep unhappiness. xx
ReplyDeletePat you are an old trooper who attracts affection ....your recent illness and gap from blogland underlined this fir you me thinks
DeleteWhat she said xx
DeleteI love Bette Davis and my favourite film of hers is all about Eve, so your evening sounds wonderful, we have a support bubble with younger daughter, and as you say contact is so important, Zoom calls are good, but it's not the contact we crave.
ReplyDeleteSeeing the film though anew pair of eyes was lovely too
DeleteI know the bloody thing word for word
It sounds like an evening you both needed. xx
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeleteHow lovely of you. Your friends are very fortunate to have you in their lives. Thank you for giving comfort. We all should, wherever and whenever we can.
ReplyDeleteI got a lot out of last night.
DeleteI think I have watched it but don’t remember for sure.
ReplyDeleteI think you’re right about altruism. There is some reward in being good to others I guess there has to be or we wouldn’t do it. I uses it’s evolutionary.
It’s one step away from bartering for needs I always think x
DeleteThis helped me understand what feels so good about feeding another. Others have done it for me,and I have done it for others,and we all are better off because of it. Also, it's a large part of why having dogs and cats is such a comfort. Thank you,-Mary
ReplyDeleteThere is something healing about feeding another person x
DeleteCome over and I will cook for you. You are going to find someone special one of these days. Is the guest room in the east wing or west wing?
ReplyDeleteEast wing David .....
DeleteI thought it was in the west wing?
DeleteThat’s the president
DeleteWe haven't cooked for anyone for a long time. We tend to meet our friends outside the house, though that has also been hindered by all the virus restrictions. Roll on normal life and normal socialising!
ReplyDeleteA meal together .. what fun
DeleteEveryone in the picture is putting their right foot forward except Bette. I wonder if that was deliberate?
ReplyDeleteI actually visited you in your cottage in my dream last night. The dogs were out for a walk, unfortunately. Weird what appears in our dreams.
Knock next time xx
DeleteI spoke on the phone yesterday with a neighbor for about 30 minutes. I was amazed at how uplifted I felt afterward. For those of us on our own, that outside contact, no matter how brief, really does wonders. You realize then, I think, how alone you are, no matter how accustomed to it you've become.
ReplyDeleteSmall moments of kindness mean so much more now
DeleteOne of my all-time favorite films. I have a DVD version so I watch a couple of times a year. Love it.
ReplyDeleteGreat for having a connection to people, just watching an oldmovie.in these times it's the little things that help a lot.
I see something new everytime I view it
DeleteYou and I are very much alike in the feeding thing. I love to cook for those I love. I hate cooking for someone I do not care for. It's a very primal thing. I am sure that Ruth felt your caring in every way. Oh- to be tucked up by someone we love.
ReplyDeleteIt’s something I’ve inherited from my grandmother
Deletemy favorite thing too is taking care of and feeding others. a good thing too since it's all i do these days. i have cinnamon buns in the oven and on this cold, snowy day i will be delivering these little sweet pillows of joy to all of my bored, shut in, elderly friends. a little bit of sunday cheer to distract from covid and trump.
ReplyDeleteA lovely thought xx
DeleteDelighted to hear it wasn't a bumpy night. 😊
ReplyDeleteOnly for Eve
DeleteIt is about the important things.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right x
DeleteHow nice of you! "All you need is love!"
ReplyDeleteI watched it years ago, and enjoyed it. I think we have it on DVD, actually. Isn't Marilyn Monroe in it too?
ReplyDeleteI disagree that we aren't ever altruistic. Haven't you ever done something that you didn't want to do -- something that would be personally unpleasant and not materially rewarding for you -- when it helped someone else? I'm SURE you have. (Flower Show committee comes to mind, though maybe that WAS fun for you.)
I think there is always a pay back , even if it is self pride or
DeleteUnfortunately I did this but it was not appreciated-so now I pamper my dogs who do x
ReplyDeleteI have looked after so many people in my life, but have never felt that I've been looked after. Sad or what!!
ReplyDeleteYes..that is sad shellyc xxx
DeleteThat old ad from Pillsbury said it well, “Nothing says lovin’ like something from the oven.
ReplyDeleteI’m the shape of mr pillsbury
Deletehadn't seen "All About Eve"? oh my. Then she doesn't know about Phoebe. At least she calls herself that!
ReplyDeleteLol
DeleteI have always hated ''doing for'' people, one's exertions are never repaid with appropriate or sufficient pleasure. I was raise in a family where food sort of meant love [but not so much love you were allowed to get fat]; I tried to show my ex DH my love thru food and home caring and emotional support etc etc, but it was never enough [as one finally come to realise with ex spouses]. But if it makes you happy, I am happy for you.
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