I caught up with Chic Eleanor this morning for a 2 metre coffee
She apologised again for being in her scruffs
But swirled a beautiful silk scarf around her neck as she frothed up the hot milk
Darling John ! What is your news? She purred
I told her that I had just resigned from Samaritans
That is where we had met several years ago now
Eleanor understood immediately my reasons now for resigning.
She herself is a part time counsellor
I have no reserves left for Samaritans to utilise
I say that without drama but with a little regret
Working for the charity had provided me an outlet for a set of skills I was under utilising in life.
I was a husband, a hobby smallerholder, a very part time ITU nurse and needed the challenge working on the call lines can give.
And I was a Good Samaritan
If you can forgive the phrase....
But I recognise I have no reserves to give to the charity anymore.
My priority is my work
And my major priority is myself
I suggested to Eleanor that we meet with another couple of mutual Sam friends very soon. A socially distant picnic of West Shore with wine and laughter and she twirled her imaginary pashmina in delight
Darling John, that would be absolute perfection!
She always has the ability to make the mundane sound delightfully grand
Turning the mundane into something delightfully grand, what a great talent. I used to know someone that could literally make a silk purse out of a sow's ear and on a tight budget too. I do try to have/create as much joy in everyday life, but as we know John, life quite often has other ideas. We all press on though. x
ReplyDeleteI think only certain people can do it well
DeleteSo many try and it comes across as totally false
Eleanor is 100 kosha
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Deletethank you..
You have volunteered with the Samaritans for at least as long as I've been reading, a long time.
ReplyDeleteVolunteering has its rewards but it can also be very costly, time for you to explore other options
Thank you for all that you gave
Thank u
DeleteI want to be Eleanor when I grow up.
ReplyDeleteSigh.
Way too late.
She sounds like a classy lady.
ReplyDeleteA wise decision, reflective of a fine degree of self knowledge. My congratulations!
ReplyDeleteEleanor sounds absolutely delightful but I think she would make me feel very clumsy and gauche. You have some nice friends John.
ReplyDeleteYou've given a great deal to the Samaritans over the years and I'm sure you've helped many, many people in that time. You're wise to recognize if your energy levels can't accommodate it anymore and to focus on today's needs.
ReplyDeleteI have volunteered, and stopped volunteering, with the vagaries of life, for that same reason. Now is your time. You will feel called again, when you can lift your gaze further out, and you will respond, because it is your nature. This is A Weird Time, and getting weirder, because it's starting to feel normal. Ugh. I'm looking forward to hearing your holiday plans, though!
ReplyDeletei have moved from one group to another over the years to provide my services. presently, i am only cooking for older friends that have been quarantined for months. it's not that they need the food so much, it's more that they need something to look forward to and a break from the monotony. sometimes we can just help where and when we can.
ReplyDeleteI can understand this.
ReplyDeleteHad I more free time, and a more reliable automobile, I'd volunteer for some LGBTQ organization, but can't quite swing it at the moment.
ReplyDeleteLove Eleanor's style. She IS chic.
It takes courage and wisdom to recognise that you need to step away, and then be able to actually do it. Congraulations. You have saved yourself from needing them yourself. There comes a time when you need to step back, take a deep breath and simply and quietly pass on the baton. Because this is your time to devote some of it to and for......just you! And what sort of a novelty is that, then? No guilt. Learn to breathe again and don't t look back.
ReplyDeleteMybrother was a Samaritan for some years and it took it out of him - he finally gave in and resigned after we had pleaded with him to do so. It takes a strong person to do it year after year - sometimes it is necessary to recognise when a change is needed. Be pleased with the help you have given to so many John.
ReplyDeleteIt is difficult to resign when at your peak, but best to do so when the peak is about to be in the past. Knowing one’s own energies and abilities is a great skill to have. Leaving with pride in the work you have done is the best.
ReplyDeleteHi hun, thankyou for the time that you have given to the samaritans. Chic eleanor sounds like a lovely lady.i wish I had her style as I am more of a Jean's and baggy jumper kind of person.hugs goldensunflowerx
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself, so you can be there to take care. Learning to say no, I am sorry, not right now, is learning to seek balance in your life. Maybe I will get better at that someday.
ReplyDeleteIt is good to recognise the right time to stop. You can't spread yourself too thinly and you can be proud of the help that you have given and are still giving in your present job.
ReplyDeleteJust reading about Chic Eleanor makes me feel scruffy ...but I'm a nice clean scruff ;-)
ReplyDeleteA good decision methinks to leave the Samaritans before it becomes a chore that takes too much from you. You can always return if the mood takes you years from now, when you are in your wise dotage and have more time on your hands. Knowing when to think of yourself is a huge step towards being a grown-up, it seems you are almost there :-)
And YES, I'm in no doubt you were are Good Samaritan.
DeleteA grown up me?????? I'm 58
DeleteAnd I'm 60 ... it would seem we are ALMOST there ;-)
DeleteWhat a wise decision you've made to resign from the Good Samaritans now. Your responsibilities elsewhere take your time and energy and what's left is for home, family, and friends. Despite your small regret, this change is all part of the ebb and flow of life.
ReplyDeleteChic Elanor is a fine, classy friend no matter what's she's wearing! It's clear she always looks on the bright side of life (da da da dum! Can anyone write, say, or think that without hearing Monte Python?).
Hugs!
Oops! I missed the E in Eleanor's name. :)
ReplyDeleteI believe you are right to leave The Sams,no good spreading yourself to thinly. Too much to do at work and the furries at home to consider.
ReplyDeleteI think if l were in Chic Eleanor's co pany l bet l would look at her hands, perfect nail polish, no silly wacky colours, nails not too long, and a good slather of an expensive hand cream, probably the type that matches her expensive perfume and l would sigh and wish l'd brought me gloves along.....
Tess xx
You describe her perfectly
DeleteEr company, not co pany! T
ReplyDeleteI imagine your training for Samaritans will always be valuable and in demand. In the future you may find yourself in a position to join them again, and if not, the empathy and listening skills will surely be needed in your nursing work. (Not that you didn't have those already, I'm sure!)
ReplyDeleteIt's been invaluable steve, invaluable
DeleteJoie de vivre seems to describe Chic Eleanor x
ReplyDeleteYes .....the spirit that won the war!!!!
DeleteUnderstandable decision. There's only so long you can do such an emotionally demanding task before it gets too much.
ReplyDeleteAbsolute perfection...
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIt's no wonder the pashmina is now imaginary. With all that twirling surely it has become a tad threadbare. Perhaps you could suggest industrial strength nipple tassels for Eleanor?
ReplyDeleteMavis-I think it a very good suggestion of yours for Chic Eleanor to style her elegant hat with a tassel or two for added interest x
DeleteI was a Sam in 3 different branches, having retrained each time, and eventually was on the training team myself. You find yourself taking some very difficult calls and in the end I began to lose sympathy and realised it was time to stop.
ReplyDeleteI found the difficult calls a challenge and that challenge was generally all positive...it was and is the tame wasters, the cranks the perverts that I found hard to stomach
DeleteI contacted Samaritans once, many years ago. It wasn't what was said to me in return that actually helped me, but the shock, afterwards, of realising that I had reached such a stage of events, just a few murky metres up from rock bottom of a deep dark sea. My thanks to Samaritans for just being there to make me look into myself in such a way, and slowly move back towards the surface, where I float lazily today, blinking in the light and rather surprised at being in this sunshine.
ReplyDeleteNicely written Andrew
DeleteI like that it was the act itself that spring boarded you to better times
This is not the first time a post of yours has helped me feel better about my own thoughts and choices, John - I've been trying to understand why I don't have the energy to volunteer as I used to do. I felt it was because of family responsibilities (particularly my mother right now) but still felt selfish inside. What I see from your writing makes me think perhaps it's okay after all. Thank you for that. And thank you for what you have given the Samaritans over the years.
ReplyDeleteToo many of us try to be everything to everyone
DeleteKnowing when to leave is a very real wisdom.
ReplyDeleteThank you for all you have contributed.
It's been a blast ( mostly)
DeleteYou've given so much to the Samaritans. There comes a time when we are drained or in danger of becoming drained of the very life force that gives us what we need to continue. When that happens we have to know what to let go so that we may still be of use to others and to ourselves. You do such good work at your job and you have to remember to do good for youself and your furry ones. But John, you have always and will always be a Good Samaritan, or if you prefer, a good person.
ReplyDeleteEverything needs a balance ....that's something I have learned recently
DeleteYou are a wise decision maker, and leave them in good hands. Thank you for your service, as we have learned so well to say these last several months, and I'll add a clap for you tonight.
ReplyDeleteWorking full time as a nurse in a hospice AND as a Samaritan carries with it an enormous amount of emotional labour...
ReplyDeleteToo much Philip ...everything has to be in balance
DeleteThey are going to miss you.
ReplyDeleteThey will
DeleteVolunteering is a wodnerful and at times, exhausting experience. Nothing wrong with taking time away. Maybe a new experience will come along down the road or you can go back to them.
ReplyDeleteI think many, many people have burned through their reserves. These are not normal times, and most likely never will be again, so adjustments have been made and self care is crucuial at this time. Take care of you and know that you have helped many people and continue to do so. Best to you. XO
*wonderful and crucial. Darn typos!
DeleteTime for different things me thinks
DeleteYou must take care of yourself for there to be enough of you to share. You need reserves and to build up yourself for life. Picnic sounds divine, shall we all come?
ReplyDeleteYeap bring a bottle
DeleteI have been in a similar situation and hated the thought of quitting. I stayed on too long and paid an emotional price. Eventually, I did walk away for my own health. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we can’t be there for others.
ReplyDeleteI may be lacking in all sorts of areas but my self awareness is pretty well homed
DeleteYou will always have a good ear in daily life even here on this blog you often make our day better as we get on with our day, taking time for yourself is important we often have to much structure and commitments, we need to leave space open for those spur of the moment fun times.
ReplyDeleteIt feels like the right move
DeleteNever mind. At some future time you can always come back to The Samaritans. They need good listeners.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you will be missed, John, but you have more than earned your stripes. Have a break and when you are refreshed I'm sure something else will fill the gap - who knows where life will take you? Somewhere equally fulfilling, no doubt.
ReplyDeleteNo same in putting yourself first. Like the comment above says, you can always go back. Make the most of these days of summer while you can.
ReplyDeleteYou do fit rather a lot into your days and shiftwork must take its toll. I don't think anyone would think badly of you for leaving and take some time to reflect on the good you have done while volunteering.
ReplyDeleteIf they did I wouldn't be bothered Andrew x
Deleteyou did your bit. your new job takes much out of you. and you need to care for yourself after working those night shift hours. no guilt; chin up, tits out!
ReplyDeleteHow strange, I've just read an article about Nicole Kidman aka Chic Eleanor ( having watched Big Little lies which I highly reccomend ) I was also wondering if you still volunteered at Samaritans.
ReplyDeleteI've just realised that I have a Chic Eleanor in my life, a friend who on our girl friends' Covid 19 Whatsapp group makes a simple sentence flowery and delightful where the rest of us go for, " lovely, wonderful, great ! " !!!
It's perfectly sensible of you John. You've given them huge service - I recall you training new counsellors in the past, as well as your phone duties. Your life has changed, and doing what is needed for yourself, and you can leave with pride in what you've contributed.
ReplyDelete(I found there was a setting I had somehow managed to switch off, something about sharing across sites, which turns out to be the reason I was muted!! Now un-muted!)
You are a good man. Been reading your blog on and off for years. We need more people like you in the world
ReplyDeleteI would imagine that being a Samaritan is a job in itself without the added pressure of another job. Thank you for the time you committed in helping others.
ReplyDeleteI admire you for what you did for the Samaritans. I know I couldn't do it because I would get too emotionally involved. Thank God people like you are up to it!
ReplyDeleteOne of my work colleagues in stockbroking was a Samaritan. He was an odd sort of man. He did it for years and then abruptly gave it up. Perhaps it was just time to stop.
ReplyDeleteYou never stop being a Samaritan. You just stop using a telephone.
ReplyDeleteI think it a gift to know when to go. It's not one that came to me easily. In my younger years, I tended to be reluctant to go, even when it would serve me better to do so. When i finally really understood at a gut level, that there are seasons in my life and in each season specific tasks that will end so others can start, it helped me to recognize when it was time to move along.
ReplyDeleteChic Eleanor sounds delightful! I can hear her silk gently rustle all the way over here.
x
You have to make yourself number one. You have enough working night shifts.
ReplyDeleteThere comes a time when one realises it's time to move on John. Imaginary pashmina...sigh...
ReplyDelete
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