The Bitch Chair



Animals teach you how important touch is
When they want body contact, no matter what reason they have for seeking it , they simply find it. Unlike food and water,  contact is shared and is often a mutual thing.

Humans mix touch with all too many social taboos. I thought this the other day when a man I know from the village congratulated me on finally getting the cottage changed into my name. 
As he wished me well, I sensed that he suddenly didn't quite know what to do with his hands and so I reached out and half held half shook his right hand as we laughed.

His mind wanted that contact but his head couldn't allow the physicality of the gesture to happen and as that physical warmth occurred something needy and kind and human flowed between us 

Like I said, animals can teach us many simple things



96 comments:

  1. Very true, although at the moment, very unusually, all my three are very separate. Mavis on the sofa, Suky in her bed and Ginger on the table all fast asleep … and one of the three snoring like a trooper.

    Nice to see three of your furries so cosy :-)

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    Replies
    1. Yes... but strange that in retrospect the blog was about my need for touch today

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  2. Wonderful picture x

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  3. lurvly pix of the girls; raybeard will be thrilled to see this.

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    Replies
    1. How perceptive of you, W.Q. But you're right. I've 'saved' this pic, another one of a growing batch in my JayGee file.

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  4. This is a wise and true observation. However, I thought a "bitch chair" was only something one might find in a brothel. Could help with the mortgage.

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  5. Ellie is full on at the moment teaching me. As I sit and tap this out she is jumping up with two paws on the side of my chair and putting her head under mine, or placing her ball on my chair!

    I am so glad you reached out to your fellow villager who obviously wanted to but didn’t know how. You are loved you know.

    LX

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    Replies
    1. I've had an odd day today and the blog was more about me than him I suspect

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  6. I so wanted to hug a friend we met for lunch yesterday, I think he really needed it.

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  7. Heather11:43 am

    Great picture of your girls. I was a bit sad today, two years ago we had to say goodbye to our Springer Spaniel Declan. My daughter brought me over her Chug for the day to keep me company. Sometimes human contact is important. Several months ago our neighbour came around to tell me that her husband, suffering from dementia had been sectioned as he had started getting violent rages. I automatically gave her a hug, I think she was a bit surprised, but she looked so sad.

    Happy New Year to you. Sounds as if the balance has tilted in your direction.

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  8. So true, I say as I watch Moose bite Dudo on the back of the neck. But, unlike humans, they’ll make peace and be in bed together in 2 minutes.

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  9. Rick always seems to know when I need a cuddle. It's quite uncanny.

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  10. Dog pile! They all look so contented, snuggled up together.

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  11. Your ability to 'read the need' is pretty amazing, John. That's why you're such a great nurse, writer, friend, and human.

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    Replies
    1. I don't feel like a successful human some days

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    2. No one of us ever does, I think. But you are. so often.

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  12. My 'Billy' likes to settle at my feet, but always touching my legs.

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  13. what a bunch of content puppers.

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  14. It's when we forget that we are animals too that we lose our way.

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    Replies
    1. That's what today's post is really all about x

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  15. I think that dogs can tune into our minds.Often I can just think"where is?in the house" and they appear.If I am sad usually one will either walk over to comfort me or just look at me and I feel better.If I am dancing to something for a moment someone joins in.I do find people generally show affection more now than they did the last couple of years.Half of my family are Italian and so are very embracing x

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    Replies
    1. It is-When I was young I remember whenever my English relatives who were more reserved met with my dad's family they looked quite bemused at the display of affection by them-my friends and boyfriends looked surprised too x

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  16. Dave and I both often comment on Olga's need for contact with one or both of us. I think it's reassuring to her, even (or maybe especially) when she's asleep.

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    Replies
    1. Part of a pack.. cuddling reinforces group ties

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  17. I love my five terrier dogs but sometimes they can be annoying when they all pile up on my lap and next to me when I sit down. I learned to sit in chair when sipping my morning coffee instead of legs folded, in comfy pjs, on comfy sofa...no dog pile.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The " pile" of dogs is a natural phenomenon
      It's dogs way of reinforcing bonds and pack cohesion

      Delete
  18. Barbara Anne5:07 pm

    Ah, the peaceable kingdom, indeed. Hope Mary doesn't get squashed amid the other girls!

    Touch is everything, hence ...

    Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  19. This is so true John, actually however many people are uncomfortable with touching another person because like me, they were raised that it's not acceptable. It wasn't allowed even between family members in my family.

    Cute to see that the girls are so close and comfortable with each other. Our female dogs were not so close, depending on the personalities, (dogsonalities).

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  20. We all need touch, I like that the younger generation all give hugs now when they meet, my son and his friends do this and even my generation wouldn't have dreamt of it. My dog also loves to touch me, he's lying at my feet right now leaning heavily against me, my foot will have pins and needles soon! x

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  21. I just love your heart. Reading your blog makes me a better person. Thanks

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  22. Animals are wise and instinctively know what they need. We humans become too blocked by the wall of so called social "norms". We could learn much from our furry friends.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My friend bel Ami
      Gave me a virtual hug today
      Long hard and just like Olympia Dukakis

      Sassy

      Delete
  23. Adorable photo and yes we all need touch. There is something so lovely about a hug be it friends, family or romance. We have noticed that our younger friends are really quick to give a hug on greeting or leaving and it is heart warming. It perhaps comes easier to the young and sometimes we must make the first move.

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  24. How true it is. However I don't think I am alone in that I respond much easier to animal touch than I do to that of many people.

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  25. Absolutely agree John - I am a great one for touching.

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  26. When, as a child, I was deemed "too old" for a bedtime hug, I don't think I hugged anyone again until college when I had my first boyfriend. Hugs were reserved for that kind of relationship for years. Then my dad and mom divorced, and when my dad came to visit one day, he hugged me before he left, and my eyes were opened to how this would be a comfort in my life. When he had his stroke and I became more involved in his life and care, hugs and a kiss goodbye each night became common. And through those difficult years, his carers and the rest of my family often shared their hugs with me as well, at times of high emotion. It made me more comfortable at giving as well as receiving hugs or hand squeezes. I don't seem to need them on an ordinary day, but when emotions are a little higher, it seems like the right thing to do now. This sounds like I go around hugging people all the time, which I don't, but I'm happy to be able to do it more.

    I'm glad you reached out and gave (and got) that touch in spite of the possible awkwardness. I suspect the other fellow was glad too.

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  27. Yorkshire Liz8:01 pm

    So many of us were brought up to believe that to be tactile was weakness and improper, and especially with close family members. Took me years to overcome that, and even longer to realise how much a better person it made me and the people I found needed a hug.
    These days I am old enough to be in the 'when I am an old woman I shall wear purple' brigade, not minding wat I say or do, jut being honest. And to learn that is strength and not weakness to reach out to people who need it even ore than you do yourself. And our dogs teach us so much about honesty and acceptance. Love that photo of your dog heap.

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  28. Dogs can teach us so much. I cannot imagine my life without my trusted sidekick. He teaches me more about life than many humans do.

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  29. Women are much more apt to hug unless if it is with Harvey Weinstein.

    All warm blooded creatures need to touch.

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  30. Or maybe they are cold?

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  31. Lovely photo John We aren't that different from our pets we all want a cuddle now and then.

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  32. I'm a hugger, I can't help it. I often hug people when they have told me a bit about their dead spouse or other such memories (I am a support worker; I get a lot of stories)Some people are taken aback but most are very receptive to a hug.

    Jo in Auckland

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  33. Touch has so many emotional and physical benefits. Kissing and hugging are routine in Northern Ireland.

    ReplyDelete
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