No one is ever really fully cooked.
We are, all of us , a job in progress, so to speak.
In just one year, I have
- Dealt with the break up of my marriage
- Nearly lost my home
- Mourned a life, a family and a role
- Bought a car and became more financially self sufficient
- Lost two dogs
- Battled some difficult self esteem issues
- And obtained two jobs!
I feel so much better than I did but I am oh so looking forward to the discipline of my new job and role as living in the limbo land of part time work in a place I absolutely hate and the uncertainty of what mediation would bring has taken its toll.
I have just two night shifts to go before I leave the nursing home.
Now don't get me wrong, the care of the patients is second to none, but certain relationships between the senior staff are toxic, and toxic atmospheres drag people down no matter how buoyant you are.so in just two weeks time I shall be forging new work relationships with like minded people at the hospice
I've always been good at that.
When I am presented with a contract, I can then be able to take over the finance of my home, and
Then that final " grounding" will be in place.
I can then get some rhythm back into my life,
rhythm and discipline
The final two things in my In need and to do list.
Discipline is now vital. I have let too many things slide as I have dealt with the list above.
I eat badly, I sleep in and stay up too late, I have let the field and the garden and responsibilities in Samaritans slide somewhat. Now it's time to reclaim these last few facets of me and before you say something supportive
I not beating myself up for letting some things slide,...Christ!
Several times in the last year I very nearly went under
It's just time to bring some more order into my life which has been somewhat chaotic since Easter 2018
I finish work at 8 am Saturday morning.
From then on, the finishing line is in sight.