Thursday, 16 May 2019

Fat Bastard Breakfast

The problem with low fat bread is that it burns so very easily
Smoke filled the cottage this morning so much so that the dogs and Albert evacuated themselves to the back garden where I eventually flung the cremated crusts amid some tearful coughing and sputtering.
I should have known better as Winnie in a panic of greediness tried to eat one burnt slice whole necessitating me to perform a rather robust Heimleck manoeuvre amid the aquilegia and poppies.
Dr Barnsley from the Rectory passed as the drama unfolded but had the good sense to keep his head down

We are waiting for the chimney sweep to arrive.
Usually I sweep my own flues!!!! Oh err missus but as the cottage fire is still filling the place with smoke when lit, I've had to get the big guns in.
Thank goodness work is paying me for working my allotted holiday week last week.
Chimney Sweeps don't come cheap.

Winnie will be in heaven when he arrives, all thought of her near death experience forgotten at the sight of a pair of overalls.
The closest she could get to the sweep was to lie on his dust sheets

The nice weather we are experiencing is allowing me to stick to my diet pretty well this week.
Now, I'm a big fan of the Facebook group Rate My Plate, in fact it is the only group I follow on line so for those of you that have not heard of it, all I need to tell you that it is basically just photographs of what members are going to have for their tea that day!
( and believe me there are some doozies to be seen!)

Anyhow I shall leave you with a photograph ( and recipe ) for my own version of  fat bastard breakfast
You can eat as much as you like  and not put on an ounce!

Fat Bastard Breakfast 

Ingredients 

1 tin of cherry tomatoes 
2 extra large eggs
Chilli paste 
Garlic
Low fat spray oil 
Sliced Mushrooms ( a whole box)
Seasoning

Light fry mushrooms in low fat spray, chilli and garlic
Add tomatoes and simmer until everything is gloriously mushy
Add eggs and poach
Pile high on dry toast 




47 comments:

  1. Your breakfast doesn't sound half bad. Nothing wrong with the ingredients, except for tinned tomatoes.

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    Replies
    1. Use a squeeze of agave nectar to get rid of the bitterness of the toms

      Delete
  2. Everything about this post cracks me up today, but then that happens a lot with your posts :)

    Breakfast looks delicious. Hope Winnie has no lingering effects from the "cremated toast"!

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  3. Did she really go for the burnt toast?
    What is it about dogs that makes them act like they’ve never eaten anything? I dogsit and you’d think those dogs have never been fed.
    That breakfast looks tempting. It’s six am here and now I’m hungry. It’s all your fault.

    XoXo

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    Replies
    1. Most dogs adore burnt toast it's a real treat.
      If you ever have a dog that's not eating give them a crust of toast. If they take it they are not too poorly

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    2. My previous dog would explore the patio near the grill looking for stray bits of charcoal. I imagine the crunch gave her great satisfaction. Fortunately, she was all black, so no telltale muzzle smudges to give her away.

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  4. Winnie will be cheered up by the chimney sweeper.
    I love tinned tomatoes (if I forget to buy fresh) as they are delicious on toast or so versatile to make low-fat sauces.

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  5. I didn't know you could apply that manouevre to dogs. Must remember that.

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  6. Never looked at Rate my Plate, but some of the concoctions on the weight watchers site look truly revolting.
    Betty Noodle stole kale abd blueberries last week! Kale, I ask you, if I'd given it to her she would quite rightly looked at me like I was daft.

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  7. I once performed the Heimlich manoeuvre on a nursing home resident choking on a piece of toast. Very effective, although I think some of the staff and residents initially thought I was assaulting him!

    That's a decent breakfast John.

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    Replies
    1. I've only done it once on a human and out popped half an apricot

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  8. Nothing nutritionally wrong with tinned toms, especially for men, but I can't see a reference to tinned tomatoes on toast without remembering a girl I used to work with. She was bright enough at most things, but so bad at handling her money that by the middle of the month she would have to resort to tomatoes on toast for virtually every meal until payday. I know she got lots of help from Citizens Advice, but it never helped.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't know citizens advice sold tinned toms

      Delete
  9. OK, I never knew one could give a dog a Heimlich. The things I learn from blogging!

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  10. Barbara Anne2:57 pm

    I'm another who had never heard of how to use the Heimlich on a dog or about giving a sick dog some toast (cremated or not!). Live, read, and learn!

    Don't you wonder what happened that made Winnie adore workmen?

    Interesting breakfast. It seems quite a bit too much for me, but then I'm a lot shorter than you are and am petite.

    Hugs!

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  11. That breakfast looks huge John. Hope the chimney feels better for its sweep.


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  12. Ever tried cold tinned tomatoes on toast? Really brings out the flavour, mmm , lovely. Or if having hot, put a few dried mixed herbs in while warming them.

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    Replies
    1. Yes with lots of cumin , bloody lovely

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  13. Sarah Jones4:24 pm

    I love Winnie she is so gorgeous. The breakfast looks good John. Which diet are you doing? I started Slimming World a couple of weeks ago. Sarah x

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  14. I wouldn't want chilli added for brekkies but I do like tomatoes eggs and mushrooms.

    I worked in a rest home once where lunch was usually swimming in cold tinned plumb tomatoes. It looked worse than school dinners and the residents were paying a fortune to be there.

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    Replies
    1. The chilli blows your tits off and sets u up for the day

      Delete
  15. Now THAT is what you call a breakfast!!

    Our Jack Russell Rosy would never have eaten burnt toast ... she would come and sit by one of us if the smoke detector was in any danger of going off at breakfast time. She hated the smell of burning SO much. She would have made a brilliant dog for a deaf person, letting them know well before any alarm was going to start.

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  16. Have to say thought the picture was some other type of manoeuvre and not the heimlich. Got coffee all over tablet.

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  17. I'm trying to figure out how to do that without poaching the eggs.

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  18. Thanks for dog heimlich and recipe! Both may come in handy.
    Winnie never ceases to crack me up! She'd be a psychologist's dream! lol

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    Replies
    1. She followed the sweep to his van when he left and kissed him goodbye at the gate

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    2. John,you always give me an image to make me smile and I am now thinking of Winnie kissing the sweep goodbye!!,xx

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  19. is it an option to buy out your ex and stay in the cottage?

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  20. I remember fondly sitting around the pan as a child sharing this very breakfast with my siblings. It's always been a favourite of mine...

    https://www.bbc.com/food/recipes/shakshouka_74716

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And it's a middle eastern dish called shakshuka

      Delete
  21. Sorry, but that looks rather unappetizing.

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  22. Handy hint - low fat often means higher in starch or sugar. Hence tendency to burn.
    And that recipe is basically a lightweight's shakshuka. Needs more chilli. Shove a bit of sourdough toast with it to mop up the juice & settle the gut at the same time.

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  23. I think it looks wonderful. A little much for breakfast, but a perfect supper!

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  24. Oh lord. Cooking! I’m proud of myself for slicing a banana into my yogurt and cereal in the morning.

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