Munching the Vagina


I don't apologise for the title
It made me laugh
Schoolboy humour is king sometimes
I returned the plastic vagina to its rightful owner the other day. The vagina's owner and I  met in a car park of a local McDonalds just off the A55 and the whole process was all very "drug bust" and clandestine in nature.
I had to give the whole thing a quick rub down with an upholstery wipe before it was handed over as Winnie had a bit of a munch on it as she relaxed on Bluebell's back seat. 

61 comments:

  1. NO, I am NOT going to say that I enjoy a bit of a munch myself.

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  2. Replies
    1. If anyone "munches" my genitals they will be on the receiving end of an earsplitting scream followed by a heavy object to the skull. Obviously they would have released my bits from their teeth before my retaliation.

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  3. And you make the meeting of the owner of the vagina sound so clandestine!!!! Lol!!!!!!!

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  4. Bwhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

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  5. This story doesn't ring true to me. How did Winnie get hold of it and how did you discover the owner? Who takes a fake fanny out of the house for a dog to molest? If they didn't then what are you doing round the house of an obviously heterosexual pervert with a bulldog? Dogging? I don't think so.

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    1. too many whos and whatevers

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    2. Nah. Poetic licence if ever I heard it.

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    3. Of course...things are far too serious

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  6. Thank you John, and commenters, for the laughs. Much needed today.

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  7. I'm with Tom. You did NOT let Winnie get to that model of the source of life. At least I hope.

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  8. That Winnie is such a hussy. AND... truth is stranger (or more entertaining) than fiction!

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  9. OKEY DOKEY......so many questions....so little time. lol

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    1. Perhaps next time he should use the word cunt in your honour?

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    2. That's fine, Moaning Mavis. Like John, instead of putting up a coherent argument, just resort to calling those who don't inhabit your respective echo chambers by various body parts. I particularly like, a frequently used by our host, "arsehole". The one good thing to be said about arsehole is that there is no mistaking it for anything else.

      U

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    3. There's no argument to "put forward" when encountering your brand of supercilious bullshit. I merely spotted an opportunity to remind you of your true calling.

      Enjoy the dizzy heights of your Ivory Tower.

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    4. Thank you, Moaning Mavis. Enjoy the dismal depths of your limitations.

      Rolling in my "brand of supercilious bullshit", yours,
      U

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  11. So between molesting workmen and licking vaginas (I do know the real term, but not having a stick up my ass, I'm not going to nit pick), is Winnie trying to tell you that she is bi? This was too funny!

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  12. oh christ, the prudes are going to be on your arse like white on rice today, john. FUCK THEM! I think this post is funny. and winnie is adorable as always.

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  13. I imagine you both at that McDonald's wearing trench coats and sunglasses.

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  14. Heloise3:01 pm

    Very much reminded of Winnie with the doughnut a few weeks ago. This, in turn, reminds me of the Fanny Craddock cookery show where she made doughnuts and her partner in crime, Johnny, said at the end of the show:"May your doughnuts turn out like Fanny's."

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  16. Can only say oo-er to all this.

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  17. all too serious a set of comments for my liking!
    im off for the day!

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  18. Oh my, worthy of sharing at our next rebel W.I. meeting.

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  19. Thanks for the ssmil.e

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  20. You and Winnie need to get out more... willy and fanny notwithstanding. Don’t you both know just how unhealthy the grub is at Mcdonald’s?

    LX

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  21. were the mumbai escorts trying to recruit winnie?

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  22. Likely not the strangest thing that has been handed from car to car in that parking lot. Not the first one of those that Winnie has seen - or licked. Why do dogs lick themselves, because they can!

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  23. Barbara Anne6:29 pm

    Perhaps sweet Winnie is not to be trusted with any kind of bag, box, or container where she can reach it?

    Hope it is a quiet night on the ward.

    Hugs!

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  24. Nobody writes a blog title like you do, John - NOBODY!!!

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  25. I thought you knew, dogs will eat anything.

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  26. A mobile muff JG, perhaps this is the future !!!

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  27. What do you call a muff not looking it's best. Ruff muff !!

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  28. What do you call a sulking muff !!! Muff in a huff !!!

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  29. What do you call a naked muff !!! Muff in the buff !!!

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  30. What do you call a happy muff !! A chuffed muff !!! xx

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  31. What do you call a naked muff !!! Buff muff !

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  32. What do you call a muff who is fed up, Emuff is Emuff !!! !!

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  33. What kind of seafood does a muff like, muffles !!!! ha ha

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  34. Replies
    1. Actually, someone is on a *ahem* muffin.

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  35. It's goodnight from me !!!

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  36. And it's goodnight from him

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  37. Tom's comment of "fake fanny" cracked me up.

    I appreciate this blog so much. We all need a damn good laugh.

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  38. A gob of saliva and a dishcloth is usually all you need.

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    1. Spoken like a true Yorkshireman

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    2. An ordinary marrow will suffice. After you have stuffed it you can serve it to your guests. No waste, no fuss. I learned this from Mrs Beaton's husband.

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  39. The Vagina Chronicles, Rachel you sound frustrated lol!!!😂

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I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes