My dyspraxia is fucking up choir practice
Jamie, the 28 inch waisted choirmaster, taught us the Maori song Te Aroha ( the song can be basically translated as LOVE, FAITH,PEACE to all beings) and wanted us to slap our chest and things and move our feet appropriate to the tune...
Could I sing and slap and shuffle like the rest of my fellow choristers ?
Could I bloody coco!
I'm just not programmed to co ordinate mouth, hands and feet.
I can't even rub my stomach and pat myself on the head like any seven year old
It's a disability !
Hattie and Heulwen from the village who had been moved into the opposite Alto section for the evening- we sing in a circle btw ) literally pissed themselves silly at my every attempt to click my fingers at the given moment
After an hour, an ever so slightly exasperated Jamie told us all not bother with the moves
Perhaps blog follower Hāmitānā-Hēni
Can give me a few pointers
Ps from the recording of I'm sorry I haven't a clue
What is a Royal based famous film?
CAMILLA's IN TNE MIST ,
Jamie, the 28 inch waisted choirmaster, taught us the Maori song Te Aroha ( the song can be basically translated as LOVE, FAITH,PEACE to all beings) and wanted us to slap our chest and things and move our feet appropriate to the tune...
Could I sing and slap and shuffle like the rest of my fellow choristers ?
Could I bloody coco!
I'm just not programmed to co ordinate mouth, hands and feet.
I can't even rub my stomach and pat myself on the head like any seven year old
It's a disability !
Hattie and Heulwen from the village who had been moved into the opposite Alto section for the evening- we sing in a circle btw ) literally pissed themselves silly at my every attempt to click my fingers at the given moment
After an hour, an ever so slightly exasperated Jamie told us all not bother with the moves
Not our choir but this is the song
Perhaps blog follower Hāmitānā-Hēni
Can give me a few pointers
Ps from the recording of I'm sorry I haven't a clue
What is a Royal based famous film?
CAMILLA's IN TNE MIST ,
It's a beautiful song, John. Could you not just sway back and forth and sing?
ReplyDeleteThat is something I can do
DeleteHahaha brilliant!! I'm the same, n even struggle, to put shoes in boxes, the right way 😂
ReplyDeleteAsk him to teach you to perform the Haka, John. More your style I would think?
ReplyDeleteThe bass next to me (Stu from Gwaenysgor ) suggested I had a face ripe for the Haka
DeleteIt's not a disability dear man. It's an alternative rhythm to life.
ReplyDeleteOne way I cope is to close my eyes when I attempt to get rhythmic. With one less sensory input physical output becomes more focused.
Mave that scrambled my brain
DeleteIntellectually I'm mobile .. physically I'm shite
DeleteWho needs physical when you are such genius?
DeleteRhetoric!
I can sew I can knit , I can cope with those things but anything to do with my feet forget it . I go everywhere gazing at the ground I can fall over a leaf , hubby thinks it's hilarious .
ReplyDeleteIt's unfair really...
ReplyDeleteThe stuff you sing at choir is much more cultured than the songs we do John....my highlight tonight was Copacabana by Barry Manilow...where we also had to shake our imaginary maracas!
ReplyDeleteOoohhhh err missus
DeleteIs that a leg of venison hanging down behind the conductor?
ReplyDeleteI wondered that too
DeleteIt looked a bit on the scraggy side.
DeleteBunting?
DeletePolynesian choirs have a true gift for singing. If asked to mix movement and song again may I suggest that you put a big hessian sack over yourself.
ReplyDeleteFeeling your pain, sign me, NO NO the Other Left
ReplyDeleteThere’s an actual recognized condition? Who knew? I’m a total klutz and always have been. This knowledge won’t make me more agaile but it explains quite a bit. You made my day.
ReplyDeleteYea but do you have a condition or are you just appropriating one?
DeleteMy wee sis now retired from the police always wanted to be a ballet dancer as a child!. She was rubbish no co ordination fell over n chucked out of the class as so bad!. Fast forward 30 years joined adult ballet class is still rubbish falls over but adores it!. Says she will join national ballet dancing troup in the west end!. Bought her fancy pink ballet shoes for christmas.We all need dreams.xx Jacqx
ReplyDeleteOMG, pointe shoes. Covet covet covet.
DeleteThat sounds like a serious disability! I have never been able to master the patting head while rubbing belly trick.I feel your pain.
ReplyDeleteYou'll get better as time goes along. Really. I sang in a choir for a number of years and did opera work. Muscle memory is a mysterious thing.
ReplyDeleteAt least the choirmaster hasn't asked you to "narrate, not sing", which is what my husband was told to do in school!! Don't feel badly, everyone has different strengths and it is a choir after all, not a dance troupe.
ReplyDeleteYou might like to try this. It's from Patea Maori Club it was a huge hit here in New Zealand back in the early 80's Can picture you in the male line up (take one step to the left and sway then take one step to the right and sway. https://youtu.be/DQLUygS0IAQ
ReplyDeletePLEASE GOD NO. White people doing Maori music with the moves is just ERK. The music is all good, just don't be trying to haka with it please ;-)
DeleteI feel a bit like thatmrs c
DeleteI think our choir will just sway a little
I think that is the respectful, and safe, and less embarrassing option all around! Nothing to do with your specific physical fabulosities xo
DeleteOh the song is Poi E
ReplyDeleteYou make up for it in other ways, maybe you are distracted by mr 28 inch waist?
ReplyDeleteI was asked if I would like to join a Christmas choral workshop and though I love singing I'm wondering how much standing I'll need to do....
ReplyDeleteThere are some wonderful choral songs from 'down under', and the Pacific Islands.
ReplyDeletep.s. I thought a 'quire' was an amount of paper, usually consisting of 8 sheets.
Or more, we buy 25 sheet quires. Weird. I'm not sure they're using the word as it was intended...
DeleteJohn, why not suggest to Mr 28 inch Waist, that you sing the Hawaiian song Pupu A 'O' Ewa (sometimes known as Pearly Shells. I'm sure your choir (not quire) would love it.
DeleteOh DEAR GOD! Please feel free to play the cultural appropriation card here. A choir here in NZ would never get into the moves unless it was predominantly Maori. It's a beautiful song and really, it would be better not to go there with trying to do the moves. Much harder than you'd think xoxo
ReplyDeleteI really can't emphasise enough how tone deaf it is to try and do the moves. I'll write to the choir master if you like!
DeleteI agree wholeheartedly with you MrsC.. I hate it when Pakeha try to do Maori moves..very cringeworthy I think.
DeleteJo in Auckland
I like people to stand still when singing. Unless you're the Four Tops.
ReplyDeleteMy lovely daughter is Dyslexix, Dyspraxic and a Dizzy Blonde at times which makes life interesting xx
ReplyDeleteTe Aroha..a pleasant small town 50 km East of Hamilton and a mountain with the same name at its back. Aroha = love
ReplyDeleteStick with the gentle swaying John so much easier and very effective. Jan Butchxx
ReplyDeleteI'd feel the same if I had to learn a Welsh song. Do the Welsh have a national dance?
ReplyDeleteNot really ! Maybe a skip to a bar
DeleteYou should be given a solo!
ReplyDeleteOOh, my, I certainly understand that kind of confusion. Did they hide you in the back?
ReplyDeleteCamillas in the mist? Have you been drinking?
ReplyDeleteI'm not surprised Winnie didn't want anything to do with the antlers. Why do people think it's okay to dress up dogs as if they're dolls?
Nice that the choirmaster let that one go for your sake.....and the rest too, I guess.
ReplyDeleteYou have something very good here.
hahahahahahahahha!!!!!!!!! oh this was fun! brightened this very bleak winter day - thanks, John!
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate John, I can't even walk and talk at the same time.
ReplyDelete