So from morning to mid afternoon or so they stand robustly in full sun.
The front of the cottage feels warm...properly warm at these times as the thick stone walls and 17th century floorboards absorb the sun's energy and the animals celebrate this fact by stretching themselves in the square swimming pools of light in order to daydream.
The back of the cottage often feels cold during these winter days, and even when I leave every door open,the sun fails to warm the air.
I'm working tonight and tomorrow night and have an appointment meeting early this afternoon so, the dogs have already been walked and won't stir until I get home.
I've just closed the office door after sitting at the desk for a moment.
I painted the walls yellow a year or so ago but today the colour fails to lift the temperature
I can smell, paper and books, and files
....... and my husband
Time to bury your nose in a hurry neck
ReplyDeleteFurry**
DeleteOmg of all the typos
Buy some lilies or, if desperate, an air freshener! Don't dwell on the past but look forward - you never know but new smells may be just around the corner. In the meantime, enjoy the sunshine. My house faces North and is always cold and dreary. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteLittle unexpected things can stab the heart just like big things do. xx
ReplyDeleteI often find it is the little things which stab deepest. Hugs.
DeleteOh that passive heat is a bonus this time of year. So overcast hear lately I have forgotten about the sun!
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful day, John.
all of our pets have been "solar powered" and gravitated to sunshine. Our home faces east but sun comes in the single window to the south side of the living room and in the many south facing dining room windows at this time of year. You'll find the cat there.
ReplyDeleteYes, memories are tied to fragrances. Give yourself time.
Hugs!
You have your pups , I went out and adopted cats :) Small warm furry bodies are comforting and the need they have for you and your care keeps your own heart and mind comforted .. at least a small bit. When my husband died, there were so many sights sounds and scents that brought back memories. After a while, it stopped mostly. But then I missed them more .. Time, it just takes time. love you.
ReplyDeleteOur Snickers stretches her ten pound body
ReplyDeletelike that . . . in the sunshine spot
beaming into our south west living room.
Your words, thoughts, reflecting touched a memory . . .
I ache for you . . .
Is it possible to put that room to another use now? Those memorable scents can catch you out even after many years, I'm afraid. In the town last week, a whiff of St. Bruno pipe smoke almost brought me to my knees, so sudden, so unexpected, yet it's 33 years since my husband died.
ReplyDeleteBuy yourself a reed diffuser, you don't need the reminder every time you go in there! X
ReplyDeleteI'm sure the cottage was built with that orientation in order to take advantage of the sun. Pretty smart! Wasn't it Proust who pointed out how smells can evoke poignant memories and feelings?
ReplyDeleteScent is so evocative and often hits us at unexpected times - even now the smell of Lynx reminds me of an ex-lover. Buy some scented candles or flowers and purge that room. xx
ReplyDeleteLooks like a nice place for a nap
ReplyDeleteHere at 16.9° S, 145.7° E,we have had our first rain of the Wet Season and not too soon. Everything has been terribly dry from the unrelenting heat and we are still a month out from Summer.
ReplyDeleteRedlynch, QLD??
DeleteJo in Auckland
Sunny spots are fantastic during cold days. I live in region that's hot ten months out of the year. An occasional hurricane is nature's way of cooling us down.
ReplyDeleteTriggers are powerful and unexpected. It's okay to grieve. You've experienced a great loss. Mourning takes time. It's evidence that you really did love someone with all your heart. Time heals. You'll never get over it, but you will learn to live with it, as you have been with all the losses you've had in life.
Put on some music--or earphones so you won't wake the dogs. Listen to something upbeat, something fun, something you can dance to. I'm sure you have some fave songs you haven't listened to in a while. Try some Katy Perry or Kelly Clarkson, and why not some Lady Gaga. Better yet, Ella Fitzgerald's Mack The Knife.
Have you thought about repainting the room in a sky blue? Take care. Have a nice cup of tea.
Oh dear John. Grief is so very real and so very hard.
ReplyDeleteI hate that for you. You did, however, handle the place very well that you got married in so things are looking up! Maybe get a couple of indoor cats, with litter boxes, and put them in the office. Might change the smell a bit!
ReplyDeleteCindy
Turn the office into another theme...Music room (comfy chair, headphones,small bar)? Video room ( TV, video collection, computer stuff)? and of course, fresh flowers and scented candles! Make it yours you deserve the best!
ReplyDeleteI did what Jan suggests ... the small bedroom in this house is this computer/office room. Where I also watch movies on the computer.
ReplyDeleteI am in a ridiculously large home where I can have a room for each cat plus me ! but we all congregate in just a couple.
But it is very good for you to change the scenery .. make that room another kind of room, change the furniture... now is the opportunity to do the decorating all on your own without considering anyone elses taste or dislikes. This is Your home. Those are Your pups .. You can eat when you feel like it and play any sort of music and no one can say anything about it.
love you, love your dogs. C
So sorry John
ReplyDeleteI thought it said flies and so I did a double take.
ReplyDeleteI also read flies, Rachel...
DeleteBuy a room spray unless the 'old smell' brings you comfort. Good luck with work tonight and tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteIf you have any quiet time tonight mentally redecorate the office. Floral wall paper perhaps? xxx
ReplyDeleteIs the appointment meeting at the dogging lay-by near Mostyn?
ReplyDeleteLovely
DeleteI'm sorry. That's hard to deal with.
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ReplyDeleteIt's like a bereavement, worse in many respects. Cuddle those dogs and stay strong.
ReplyDeleteHugs. Time can be an enemy but also a healer.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments am on duty soon so not enough time to reply to all
ReplyDeleteThere are a couple of bottles of aftershave here still - almost empty and in empty drawers........no going back but still giving me a moment x...lunch on Monday? x
ReplyDeleteOh no, Libs. What's happened? You can mail me if you want.xx
DeleteYour lovely photo brings back childhood memories of the chiming of a grandfather clock in a log cabin where I was privileged to stay a week in the summers. Your cottage looks as warm as cozy at that cabin - it's a blessing that you have such a lovely place to live out your days.
ReplyDeleteMourning a death is one kind of pain - mourning the loss of a loved one who is alive and elsewhere is another kind of deep pain and loss. The former is forever, but there's hope for you, John. "Weeping may last through the night, but joy cometh in the morning" even after a very long night. Until the smell wore away from my son's knitted cap, it did cause pain, but it was bittersweet - I still had something of him. Maybe you don't really want to get rid of that smell until you're ready. All my best to you as you work this all out - you have so many good wishes coming to you every day. It even gives me a lift!
Thank u ruth
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ReplyDeleteOh my goodness! After I hit "Publish" my comment went right beside your picture, holding a chook, with the caption "Life is not about waiting for the clouds to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain." May your rainy days become less and less!
ReplyDeleteI thought you said 'flies' and your husband. Maybe you did. Spellcheck would have passed it.
ReplyDeleteI do hope that the 'nuts and bolts' of this situation are resolved soon for you John.
ReplyDeleteThen you can get on with life properly and eat toast in bed if you wish or play 70's rock music really loud and sing along with you own words or whatever you like to do which could annoy a partner, but is great if no one can tell you off!
Re-decorate that room and fill it with YOU and fuck the rest!
Love Tess x
I hope something special comes your way soon.
ReplyDeleteI would repaint the room because the smell of paint should erase any remaining scent or if you have curtains and toss cushions wash those because they will hold smells or if your not quite ready wait until you are all the best wishes John.
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ReplyDeletePut a coat of paint on the walls, change the curtains, make it 'your' room and only allow yourself positive thoughts in there John. Worked for me in my situation - not yours I know. Oh and make those dogs work for you - double or even treble the love they usually give you.
ReplyDelete18 years after he and his blonde ran off, I'm still finding things belonging to him. I can't believe that I haven't removed every tiny item but they still pop up.
ReplyDeleteDon't stop blogging or commenting, it keeps me off Lifeline.
Your husband's scents will linger for quite sometime if nothing is done to remove them. I can well imagine the strong feelings those evoke... my husband wore a hat everyday that he kept in his truck. During the first few months after he was gone I would at times sit in his truck just to smell that. Though I usually cried afterwards, it was oddly comforting to sense his closeness that way, so it was hard for me to resist doing it again. When the scent was gone I sold the truck without emptying it's contents.
ReplyDeleteRest well when you can,dear man, -Mary
Sorry that those memories are being evoked. It's not easy and time is a balm. Your animals live for the moment and I know they bring you comfort. I enjoy my visit evey day.
ReplyDeleteScents .... they whizz us back instantaneously to a moment, a memory, a place or a person. Sometimes good, sometimes bad and sometimes just leaving us feeling unbearably sad and melancholy.
ReplyDeleteSit in the sun patches with the animals and breathe in doggy smells and luxuriate in their doggy love.
I walk into my old elementary school and the smell is the same as it was 65 years ago. comforting somehow. I hold my husbands hoodie bury my nose in and cry. Give it time and maybe repaint....
ReplyDeleteYou are only 7 months along and the scent bearer still comes in. It must be like rubbing lemon juice in cuts. Read the lawyer’s paperwork and trudge through the inevitable so you can rebuild your life. You’re in purgatory now, it seems to me.
ReplyDeleteHugs and more hugs,
I think you need to bring some new, more powerful scents into that room.
ReplyDeleteSending love John 🐶🐶🐶 xx
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