A Little Squirt

You get a bit sweaty on night shifts.... and in a fit of tiredness I'd forgotten my clinique ." HAPPY" !!!!...and so perspiring like Blanche duBois I looked around the office and staff loo to see if I could find an suitable nice smelling squirty.
In the office I located a somewhat exotic sounding lady spray called "orchid myst" and gave myself and my uniform a good seeing to.
It didnt smell too perfumed I thought moments later only to realise that orchid myst was exactly that..an effing
mist for effing orchids!!!!
Pure nutrient solution, pest repellent, plant tonic and leaf conditioner ......for orchids !!!!!

89 comments:

  1. Barbara Anne4:05 am

    Oops! That might be helpful in some ways during spring and summer, but perhaps not so much in November in the Northern Hemisphere. Perhaps you should get a pocket size smell-pretty to tuck into your pocket or your lunch bag?

    How did the fur-babies react to that?

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    1. They never noticed but the girl I worked with game me a funny look

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  2. kylie4:06 am

    you'll be all fed, pest free and conditioned then!

    i have been known to use a sneaky handful of hand sanitiser

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    Replies
    1. I've been told that's called a French bath...

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    2. I'd go arse over tit ....it makes the bath slippery

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  3. Well at least you will be aphid free!

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  4. Could have been worse, like air freshener or furniture polish.

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    Replies
    1. I've sprayed myself with hair spray before ( under arms)

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  5. Pest repellent? What more could you want? (Try spraying it over the comments section of your blog!)

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  6. And are your leaves well conditioned now? X

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  7. Well, it could have been much, much worse

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  8. Ooooh, you little hot house orchid.
    As a child, I once mistook tubed suntan lotion for toothpaste. It did not taste nice.

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    1. Barbara Anne2:12 pm

      Oh, Andi, you've reminded me of putting Pepto Bismol (a disgusting flavor) on an itchy mosquito bite when I intended to use Calamine lotion. I couldn't yet read at the time so when my mother told me what I'd done by mistake - both were pink - I washed the awful Pepto Bismol off my leg in a hurry!

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    2. As I child I once brushed my teeth with fixident

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  9. Well I always think of you as a rather exotic flower John, so it might have done you good. Only time will tell.

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    Replies
    1. I've never been called an exotic flower before

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  10. Your garden will grow well now.

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  11. Another priceless John Gray moment. May you lushly grow and blossom!

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  12. Ahh,delicate little flower that you are.

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  13. I’ve sprayed my hair with deoderant in the days when I used hairspray but this is priceless!!

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  14. Ha-ha! At least it wasn't turnip fog or cabbage breeze!

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  15. Shall I clip your bud now or later dear?

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  16. John did WHAT . . .

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  17. Only you, made me laugh, thank you

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  18. But did it help with the sweat!?

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  19. Anonymous12:12 pm

    Well lol on the bright side you have no worry of pests, your foliage will be brighter and everything else will be conditioned lol

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  20. Hahaha! Love this! Xx

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  21. Anonymous12:19 pm

    I am repelled

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  22. I don't that orchids have a scent do they? That could have been a clue!

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  23. Too funny! That cute little face of yours makes it even funnier! I once mistook Icy Hot for my KY gel. It wasn't pleasant or funny at the time.

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  24. But did you smell good?
    And did your, um, orchid like it?

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  25. Did you feel glossy?

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  26. You will be free of spider mites for a week, thanks for the laugh, rest-rest-rest

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  27. Anonymous1:31 pm

    The genus name for orchids - orkhis, is Ancient Greek for testicles. The spray could have been worse John...

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  28. I keep both hair spray and deodorant in my draw and of course once sprayed hair spray under my arms. My armpit hair is now suitable for plaiting.

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    Replies
    1. I washed my hair with dog shampoo recently

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  29. This is priceless! Oh, you misty orchid, you! And of course, we all know that the orchid is represented in the male body by his most precious parts so not entirely inappropriate.

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  30. Do you remember nitro paste, before nitro patches? You had to measure it out onto a piece of paper and then attach it to the patient. I had a student nurse who asked me if she should put it on the patient's toothbrush.

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    1. Barbara Anne2:16 pm

      When I was still working, some doctors continued to use Nitro Paste as they considered it a more accurate dose. Those were the days, my friend!

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    2. I have a funny GTN patch story

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  31. You know this means you will be blooming soon.... :-)

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    Replies
    1. Or dead in a pot on the window legde

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  32. I wonder what color your bloom will be ?

    cheers, parsnip and badger

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  33. Never a dull moment is there?

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    Replies
    1. It wasn't very exciting but I have been working nights

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  34. Your appearance will, no doubt, be improved and you might grow a little, too!

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  35. Ha! No aphids on you!

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  36. LOL, John! A funny story to begin with but your telling is what really makes it :)

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  37. With the nutrients and the tonic, you must be feeling on top of the world now....

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    Replies
    1. I'm off to bed, I think I've poisoned myself lol

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  38. Oh, lovely. Hot house men like you must need regular feeding. LOL

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  39. But John, you are a living flower! :^D

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  40. That story made my Sunday morning, thank you. x

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  41. Fresh as a rose!.....well.... an orchid.

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  42. I needed this laugh!!! OMG, John, that's totally something I would do and forget fresh as a daisy, you went straight to the exotic orchid!!

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  43. Ha ha, no flies on you then.

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  44. perhaps you don't sweat as you glow

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  45. Fun story as are some of the comments another one for the book John.

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  46. You little flower you 😃

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  47. Hoo hah! Wonder if the spray has stimulated any unexpected new growths?

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  48. Just last week I brushed my teeth with Neosporin, or rather our local supermarket chain's generic equivalent of it in an unfamiliar colored tube. I think I would have recognized Neosporin in its regular form.

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  49. Oh, my goodness! This made me laugh!

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