As it turned out " The Horne Section" proved to be a very amusing night. Little Alex Horne is one of my guilty man crushes so it was always going to be an entertaining evening, but having said this, I did have to negiotiate one rather sticky moment right at the start of the performance .
Chester Theatre Filling up
As many comics do, Horne organised an audience participation exercise in order to loosen everyone up. Now I have always hated this sort of activity. "Hysterical moments" with absolute strangers, I can do without, I really can , and so when Little Alex Horne suggested an audience wide game of twister, my blood ran just a bit cold.
" Touch the head of the person sitting to your right" Alex ordered and plonk, the slightly drunk man next to me landed a sweaty palm on my crown
" Now reach forward and whisper something rude to the person in front of you"
Thankfully the hand disappeared but I did hear a young woman behind me say " Cock and Balls" to the back of my head.
"Now place your right leg in between the knees of the person on your right" Alex ordered..
Before anything moved, I hissed out a loud " DON'T!" at the drunk guy on my left who thankfully complied with my request with an somewhat shocked look on his face.
Thank goodness the rest of the evening concentrated more on the performances than with the audience.
I even hate that moment in church when the vicar asks you to greet the people around you
It's a pet peeve that has never left me...
And it never will
Today is coldish but bright and Mary and I went to Colwyn Bay beach to have Brunch at the outside cafe on the Prom. Homemade chicken and sweet corn soup and fat bastered thick buttered toast.
I counted 15 dogs all sat with their owners at the cafe....it was a treat for both of us.....tomorrow Mary goes in for her ear operation 🙁
Alex Horne of the
Horne Section
My guilty man crush
Who is your guilty crush?????
George Clooney. Handsome, intelligent, sense of humour. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteAnyway... I would have hated that audience warm up as well. It's like forcing children to hug and kiss their old aunt that they don't even know. -Jenn
Well, a good night out, different. I have to agree with you about the 'greet the next person to you' scenario which we sometimes have at my local church; getting up and wandering round, shaking hands murmuring 'bless you' etc. Piffle. (I now attend a different service). Hope that Winnie has now recovered and Mary's operation goes well tomorrow. Crush - I'm afraid Colin Firth as Mr Darcy has never been bettered.
ReplyDeleteAnswers on a postcard.
ReplyDeleteUhg, what an absolutely horrible idea!! I am just not a group participant sort of person, and would have said hands off to all around me, too. I imagine many did, and so the whole thing likely backfired...
ReplyDeleteI would have been shouting Don't too!
ReplyDeleteCrush - the lovely Sam Neill. It's been Sam Neill for years although I must admit I'm not quite as enamoured since hearing he's committing adultery.
I'd have wanted to walk out of an audience participation like that - and am pretty sure I'd have done so conspicuously and loudly. I wonder if anyone in your audience actually did. Just who would have thought it would be a good idea! Hate that sort of thing! HATE IT!
ReplyDeleteThat business of greeting with a handshake and a greeting of "May the Lord be with you" to your neighbour-stranger-in-the-pews in a congregation was the final straw in my regular Sunday Mass attendance up until then. I went to the cinema instead. I can place the day accurately when I committed my very first 'mortal sin' in that connection by missing Sunday mass. It was 1972, I was 25. And the film I went to see? It was called "The Wrath of God"! (Pah! Phooey!)
My thoughts will be with Mary tomorrow. In fact they already are. Best of luck to her and you.
Oh ish that audience warm up would not have set well with me. Good luck to Mary tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteMy crush is Daniel in Corrie...then I find out hes gay in real life!,Just my bloody luck,lol.Hope everything goes well for Mary tomorrow,bless her.xx
ReplyDeleteWill be thinking of you all tomorrow but especially Mary and yourself.Fingers crossed.
ReplyDeleteSecretly mine off and on was a John Gray crush
ReplyDeleteFrom afar my secret and guilty crush for a very long time is also John Gray. But he doesn't know I am alive. hey ho.
DeleteJason Momoa. Also, to be honest, his wife Lisa Bonet.
ReplyDeleteBut how could I feel guilty about either of those?
I DO NOT enjoy forced greetings, or induced “audience play” events.
ReplyDeleteTotally out of my comfort zone.
Makes my skin crawl to think of it.
Guilty pleasures . . . hmmmm . . .
Thinking about, caring about . . . Mary . . .
Not who but what. My guilty crush is orange crush. Like you I hate those audience participation things - they send a shiver up my spine.
ReplyDeleteMy secret crush is Dwayne Johnson, love his smile and sense of humor.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a fan of being forced to touch people I don't know. I touch people all the time at work as a nurse but it's the forced part I don't like. And I wouldn't want a strangers knee between my legs.
Hope things go well with Mary.
I don't like enforced group participation on any level, or being put on the spot. It was once asked of the participants in a training course I went on 'what had been the best part of the day and why' and we all had to say in turn as we sat around a large round table, some of the answers were dire ... when it got to my turn I just said 'that will be in about 10 minutes when I can put my coat on and go home, this has been a wasted day in my opinion', then I looked quickly to my right so the next person had to speak up.
ReplyDeleteMy guilty crush ... I'm never guilty, if I like someone then I like them :-)
Hope it goes well for Mary tomorrow. Xx
DeleteGrace Slick
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on the "DON'T!"
ReplyDeleteMy guilty crush is of course George Clooney, but coming in close to first is Jeffrey Dean Morgan - hubba hubba!
Good vibes from my corner of the US for Mary!
For the same reasons I hated role play during my nurse training.
ReplyDeleteSending the very best of healing thoughts for Mary's operation tomorrow and hoping all will be well afterwards. My church-going stopped shortly after the 'Sharing the Peace' came into the services. I was thinking anything but peaceful thoughts while reluctantly doing this. Ugh!
ReplyDeleteI can't think of anyone I lust over any more; maybe too old now for such fancies. It used to be Gregory Peck.
You had an outdoor brunch today?! It is FREEZING out there. I'm impressed! I too hate that moment in church when you have to greet the people around you. And then I feel guilty for hating it!
ReplyDeleteI went to mass with my mother many years ago. She is definitely old-school British. A church in America was tolerated because she had grown up going to mass every week. In front of us there was a young couple who could barely keep their hands to themselves. When it was time to greet your neighbour, they turned to each other and started snogging. "Good God, he's going to swallow her" echoed around the church.
ReplyDeleteHelen
Rufus Sewell. Sigh. And no, I don't like anyone invading my personal space or stupid ice breakers.
ReplyDeleteMy guilty crush - Jude Law in The Holiday, what a perfect specimen that man is!
ReplyDeleteThe thought of being asked (as a paying member of the audience) to participate like that or to touch strangers makes me shudder.
ReplyDeleteGuilty crush? Hmmm. I have a few. Aidan Turner and Jon Hamm are top of the list.
I would have walked out. I don't like strangers touching me, other than normal Southern people who have to shake your hand, kiss your cheek, call you Honey and pat your back. <3
ReplyDeleteor the beautiful people in Buenos Aires who kiss both of your cheeks but keep their hands to themselves. ~ sigh~
PS**
ReplyDeleteGood luck to Mary - all will be well and all will be well.
I can't even go to the hairdresser, so uncomfortable am I with anyone in my personal space. I would have left the theatre I'm afraid.
ReplyDeleteMy crush but not a guilty crush, is George Blagden in the role of Louis xiv.
Hope Mary is ok tomorrow. X
oh - me too on the personal space issue, Swedes love all that tho unfortunately :0( I nearly died when all of our works team (8 people) had to crush into a bicycle tyre - I had to sit that one out ! Certainly not good for a very 'dont invade my space' type english girl. Love and hugs to Mary for tomorrow - she is gorgeous :0) (now she WOULD be allowed to invade my space!)
ReplyDeleteFirst of all John -- that soup looks good.
ReplyDeleteSecond. These days I am afraid I don't have a guilty man crush (or woman for that matter) - that time of my life is over I think.
Third - I feel exactly like you about audience participation in any place = theatre, church or wherever.
And finally - best of luck and hugs for that op tomorrow on her ear.
Jamie in Outlander...……..
ReplyDeleteYES!!!! Oh God... my list is getting long....lol
DeleteAnother DON'T vote. I hate touching strangers or worse being hugged by them.
ReplyDeleteSecret crush? Chris Noth.
Adam Hills and Simon Reeve.
ReplyDeleteArilx
Add me to the nay-sayers. Loudly saying nay.
ReplyDeleteGood luck for Mary's operation.
No guilty crushes here.
Not a show I'll be going to see now, despite finding Alex Horne extremely amusing. I too cringe at touchy feeling audience participation with strangers. Hoping all goes well with Mary's op tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteOh yes Aril, Adam Hill is very tasty. I don't mind the peace in church, but I think it's important to be sensitive to other people's feelings. If someone looks uncomfortable I will say "peace be with you" but not shake their hand. That audience warm up though - shudder!!
ReplyDeleteFat Dormouse (fatdormouse.wordpress.com)
I trust you meant either fat basted or fat battered, and not fat bastered.
ReplyDeleteI really hate that forced "break the ice" thing anywhere too!
ReplyDeleteMan crush would have to be Tom Hardy or Daniel Craig, too difficult to choose just the one, call me greedy but .....
Love to Mary and hope all goes well xxx
Oops, forgot the guilty crush bit.... Aidan Quinn, at the moment.
ReplyDeleteGee I really don't like these forced audience participation scenarios but you handled it well no being the key word. Wishing Mary all the best sweet girl that she is.
ReplyDeleteI'm a bit to old for crushes but a big fan of Sam Elliot but I'm afraid I would fall asleep at the sound of his soothing voice.
I would not have played that game! I thought I was the only one who hated that neighbor handshake in church.
ReplyDeleteMy first crush along with many others of my age...Annette.
While I don't mind the greeting bit at church I would have not been comfortable with that "warm up bit" and would have been hissing "DON'T" to all those around me! But glad it turned out to be a fun evening after all.
ReplyDeleteAs for a crush - Sam Elliot - that deep gravelly voice just spends shiver down my spine! :-)
Holding a good thought for Mary's operation tomorrow. I agree with all of the comments above, especially Jenn. Childhood memories of being forced to kiss an old Auntie you hardly know. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteStand-up comics and some happy clappy vicars can be bullies who I never, ever comply with. There are enough cunts in the world as it is.
ReplyDeleteDon't use the word 'cunt'; it is offensive. The problem with men that do use the word is that it usually means they have serious problems of their own.
DeleteSeriously ... you would use that word in mixed company?
DeleteI hate audience participation, and when you have to introduce yourself to other people at meetings and all those 'ice breaker' activities. Good luck to Mary!
ReplyDeleteGuilty Secret Crush.... Jeremy Kyle!
ReplyDeleteI know, l know. Sorry!
Good luck to little Mary for tomorrow
Tess xx
colin firth. and good luck to mary tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteGuilty crush ... Sean Connery, Colin Firth, Aidan Quinn
ReplyDeleteNo touchy-feelies from strangers, ta.
Wishing you and Mary well tomorrow and also her medical team. Hang in there, John.
Hugs!
Come to think of it, didn't you say that it was William that had a tumour in his ear? What is wrong with Mary's ear?
ReplyDeleteHelen
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI hope all goes well with Mary's ear and she is well and happy after.
Delete(Deleted post because I was confused over which dog was having an operation. Sadly lots of vet stuff going on at once. )
Ohh I like Greg Davies from Taskmaster. Totally with you on the audience participation part - makes my skin crawl, stranger touching - gross.
ReplyDeleteJulie
I agree about the audience thing. It can be very awkward.
ReplyDeleteI thought I was the only one who disliked that 'shaking hands and hugging' time at church.....I guess I'm just not a 'people person' when it comes to physical contact.
ReplyDeleteI was going to write the same thing! It's nice to know it's not just me.
DeleteI must be weird (I suppose you'd think so if you knew me) but I find nothing wrong with shaking hands with those sitting nearby in church and saying "Peace be with you." To me it's a beautiful gesture in this world full of nastiness. I wouldn't be able to tolerate any of that audience participation stuff, though!
ReplyDeleteI wish dear Mary the very best tomorrow! You're a good daddy, John.
Janelle Monae for guilty crush. She's gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteOh John, I hate those things too...and I absolutely abhor when the priest makes us turn to our neighbors and greet them.
ReplyDeleteIt is still Bruno Mars.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes for Mary!
I totally get what your saying about audience participation... I would have been mortified ... And i always hated those moments in church too.. ... My guilty crush has changed over the years.. I actually have a few.. For the longest its been Tom Selleck ... especially in his Magnum PI days.. And then Sean Connery ... I find i like an older man.. even when i was young.. Hugs! deb
ReplyDeleteI'll be thinking of you and Mary tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI expect to wake up tomorrow to read some good stories of Mary and her remarkably quick recovery ...sending love to you both. C
ReplyDeleteAudience participation also pisses me off and I never do it! I figure that they've aid money to come see the show and don't need to do anything interactive at all. Any audience interaction is very much with those wishing to be interacted with! xo
ReplyDeleteI agree with you about audience participation. It's invariably embarrassing and awkward and contrived. I pay to watch others perform, not to provide the performance myself!
ReplyDeleteAgree....I want to be an audience member sat in the dark not a part of the cast....and I have a horrible memory of a 'new to me' boyfriend who took me to a play at Warwick University where the cast stripped of and mingled about!! I was absolutely mortified and hated every minute.
ReplyDeleteCrush Daniel Day Lewis (as he looked in Last of the Mohicians.)
ReplyDeleteHope Mary's ear gets all straightened out.
One lifeguard I worked with for years.
ReplyDelete