It reminds me of our lurid pink flamingo Christmas lights carefully packed away in a box in the bookshelf.
I wonder if those will stay with me or go with The Prof when their time comes.
Another thing yet to sort.
It's the small things that pain.
The objects that transport you to another time, another place and another country when you look, feel and experience them.
Conduits of memory.
A few weeks ago I collected all of the special Christmas decorations the Prof has amassed over the years, from London and Sydney and New York and SanFrancisco and placed them in a cake tin labelling it unsurprisingly Xmas decs.
Ready to go.
I wish there was no such pain in the world.
ReplyDeleteMust be difficult, John.
ReplyDeleteGet it done and maybe the memories will be replaced with new ones.
Best wishes x
ReplyDeleteWhen my husband was gone I thought it may not be a good idea for me to keep the painting he gave me when we exchanged presents ( we had each chosen our own as we shopped together for our wedding gifts to each other). Yet now it's hanging above my bed in my new home and I still find it beautiful. The pain of loss passes, appreciating seeing nice things around us lasts throughout life. I hope you keep things you find pleasure in.-Mary
ReplyDeleteMy husband sprinted out the door 12 years ago, taking nothing. He came and and left several more times. He passed away in October. I have tried to keep things my daughters might want. I have finally started to pass things out so someone else can either use or enjoy. Just rip the bandaids off. It will be painful but you will find joy again. Don’t wait 12 years like me.
ReplyDeleteIt’s like a roller coaster ride . . .
ReplyDeleteFairly smooth for a bit . . .
And then. . . .” the dip” . . .
Not fair . . . at all . . .
And then there are the WHY . . . WHAT IF moments . . .
I am not a help . . . damn!
When I left my ex I left with nothing but my son, my four cats, a bag of clothes and a box of books. When he moved in his girlfriend he called round with a box of kitchen things she didn't want cluttering up 'her' cupboards ... they went straight into the bin without me even looking at them.
ReplyDeleteI just couldn't be bothered with shared things, I needed a fresh start, but that's just me. I have no depth of feelings for things or places only people and animals. Perhaps I'm hard hearted ... I really don't know.
Take your time with decisions over moving house and sharing out belongings, so you have no regrets over anything.
ReplyDeleteDon't be silly...keep all the best stuff !
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches for you every time I think of what you are going through. How much worse yours is aching I can only imagine. xx
ReplyDeleteStart a new collection of Christmas things for just you. Believe it or not they are now making their way to a shop near you already! I was in The Range yesterday and their stuff is already out!
ReplyDeleteIs The Prof not able to return to the cottage in order to sort what he wants and organise their removal? It's a very painful job for you to do and be responsible for. Seems to me you drew the short straw. Sorry, John; it's all so sad and hard to take.
ReplyDeleteWhen I got divorced, I had a few friends in and did it in one fell swoop. I couldn't have taken a slow sort. Ripping off the bandaid is my way of coping. Hang in there
ReplyDeleteOh John, Christmas can be the most stressful time of the year get those decorations out of the house as soon as possible, put some lights on the tree and done less clutter and equally pretty.
ReplyDeleteWishing you peace as you pack things up. Remember the good times, the laughs, and the joys.
ReplyDeleteI like Marksgran's suggestion of starting your own Christmas collections.
Hugs
I know this is difficult as I have been there myself. Allow yourself to feel sad because you are. Trust me when I tell you that it gets better with each passing day. The holidays are always the hardest with things like this. Start new traditions for your new chapter.
ReplyDeleteAch, keep the flamingo lights.
ReplyDeleteI walked out with my clothes, a few bits of furniture and the tablecloths my granny had embroidered.
My replacement was short lived and tasteless.
Hugs.
ReplyDeleteJohn, you posted a 'let's cheer up' post straight after this one. I want to say I think you are being very honest and open with posts like these, anyone with any empathy and understanding can imagine how terribly sad and painful the little practical details of ending a marriage can be, let alone all the deeper stuff. Please continue to share as you do, not only does it show what a genuine, honest bloke you are but I think it also sends a positive message that it's OK to stop and express the heartache as well as bravely marching on, keeping busy and being strong. Big hugs and a virtual Waitrose scotch egg to you. X
ReplyDeleteDeciding who's going to have what must be a very painful exercise. I hope everything gets divided fairly equably without too much bad feeling.
ReplyDeleteSending love; wishing I had wise words to help make this time easier for you :( xx
ReplyDeleteWhen my first husband decided he no longer wanted to be married he bought me a ticket and put me on a plane 2 days later. We were living in N. Ireland and I went home to my family in Canada. I left with a carry on bag and many faithful promises that he would send me all my stuff. 46 years later I'm still waiting for it to arrive. The only stuff I would have liked was all my childhood stuff that we had taken from England to Canada, and I, like a fool, took it all to N. Ireland with me. Live and learn I guess. I agree that the prof should come to the cottage and between you you can divide the stuff and get it over and done with and then you can move on. It's not helping to have it drag out.
ReplyDelete