Monday, 13 August 2018

3 Years, 5 months, 7 days

I took off my wedding ring today......
....and tied a narrow ribbon to it, then put it carefully away........

157 comments:

  1. Oh John. I'm so sorry. A big hug from Holland.

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  2. I don't really do hugs, but I think in this circumstance I can make an exception...

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  3. Anonymous8:09 pm

    I took mine off 21 years ago next Friday. Whatever the circumstances it’s a moment you never forget.

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  4. A feeling of strength in adverse circumstances maybe.

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  5. That's a big, final moment. Hugs, John x

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  6. Sooze is right. That is one hard moment. Damn but I'm sorry this has happened.

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  7. I'm so sorry. xxx

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  8. You have 1,143 hands on your shoulder, John, who care about you, especially at this time.

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  9. So sorry John x

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  10. Xxxxx
    Ooooo
    Lavender ribbon?

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  11. I am sorry for you. A big old hug from me. -Jenn

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  12. Sadness. Sending hugs from here. x0x0 N2

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  13. I took my rings off 12 years ago. The indent from my rings was there for years. Hugs,
    Cindi

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  14. Hugs to you, John. Carefully put it away? You're being more mature in such circumstances than I've ever been. I always throw rings from exes into the nearest river.

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    1. Kitty in the forest12:17 am

      I threw my wedding ring in a nearby lake. Wished the ex could follow it. But John has a nicer nature than me.

      Surely nobody has ever had more people in his corner than John, and well deserved too.

      Be brave John, hugs.

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  15. Tough. But so are you. Be well, as well as you can.
    Eleven years since my dh died from Alzheimer's. Only a few years since I put my wedding ring away, but I'm wearing a signet ring he had made for me on that finger. I believe good things lie ahead for you.

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  16. This is so sad and I sure am sorry.

    Sending you lots of love, my friend. xx

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  17. Theres another path you were meant to take John... keep your eyes and your heart open.......Hugs! deb

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  18. Sending you lots of love.

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  19. It sucks. That is all there is to it. Supporting you from afar. We all know you have to walk through the shit to get through it. At least you are moving forward through it.

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  20. I wish to send you a big ,fluffy,soft,cloud to snuggle up around you John to comfort you tonight x

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  21. a hard step but necessary.

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  22. Just re-read your Round Robin 31 Dec 2015. Fast forward ... and what do you know. I don't wish to pile it high, my heart goes out to you.

    U

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  23. Very sad and I'm so sorry. Wishing good things for you John.

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  24. Sending positive vibes to you.

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  25. Keep your chin up, John. You've got a lot of followers who love you.

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  26. Oh John ...... I’m worried that you are coping too well but you probably don’t give away everything here ..... we are all here for you, if only in a blogging way. XXXX

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  27. Damn that Prof!

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    1. No bad words please. No point x

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    2. I'm Sorry, John. I just feel you were so very wronged. *hugs*

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  28. Sending you lots of love John, very sad post to read let alone write xxxxxx

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  29. It is sad but I say good on you John the memories are in your head not in the ring.

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  30. This made me so sad , sending you a virtual hug x

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  31. Beaming you hugs! xxx

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  32. Aww John, my heart skipped a beat reading this.
    So sad.
    Hugs,
    ~Jo

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    1. Jo you are one of my oldest friends .. thank you

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    2. And thank u all...... I'm off to bed with my dogs x ( andcat)

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    4. You are indeed one of a kind and most special "John the dogs".

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  33. What if - in the course of time - Chris came back saying sorry and that he made a huge mistake? What then?

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    1. Then I would have to cope

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    3. Honestly, YP. Not for the first time, you aren't exactly backward in coming forward, are you? Leaving tact aside you'd pass for an honourable German.

      U

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    4. Surely you mean "honorary" and not "honourable".

      N

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    5. Thank you for helping me build my case.

      Well, yes. Honorary. Though honourable, so I hope, too.

      Enhanced colouring due to blushing,

      U

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  34. Sending you a hug from Virginia. Take care.

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  35. That's a huge move John. A difficult decision only you could make. Hugs.

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  36. This is so sad, sending you big bear hugs.

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  37. I feel more sorry for him since he is losing you than for you tonight. You have to do certain things that nobody should have to, like taking off a wedding band for instance. Unexpected and never really taught - that I am aware of - how to do it right to avoid more pain. But I honestly feel sorry for him, it would be a time when he would come to understand that fools do not come to wisdom until it is left far behind.

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  38. That's a very big moment ( I know). Take care, John.

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  39. What a hard thing to do, removing the ring.

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  40. Many hugs to you. )

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  41. So sad. Sending hugs from the states.

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  42. I think a visit to Nuala is called for ... she must know of a suitably positioned bridge that the ring can be thrown from and carried out to sea. Taking sad memories with it and with bracing sea air heading your way to blow in your new era.

    A sad day I agree, but with old ends come new beginnings. πŸ’•πŸŒΉXx

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  43. Probably the biggest hardest step done.

    Hugs to you dear.

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  44. Such a hard thing to do, and write about, but a sign of how strong you really are, even when you don't feel great. How's Mary? Is the ear improving? I'll bet she got more of the ham than the couple on front did!!

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  45. So sad, but your dignity and strength is amazing. Sending a virtual hug. x

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  47. So sad for you John . . .
    Wish it would turn around, be like it “used to be.”
    I am sure you wish the same . . .
    I am hugging you in my heart . . .

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  48. You've shown a great deal of respect during the loss of your relationship John...you should be very proud of yourself xx

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    1. Absolutely!

      You are an example to all.

      Gentle hugs from South Africa πŸ€—

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  49. Another big step taken. Probably too soon to think about throwing it off the bridge. Everything takes time. Baby steps all the way. I agree with Sue about going to visit Nu, nobody knows you better than her. Take care.

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  50. What becomes of the brokenhearted
    Who had love that's now departed
    I know I've got to find
    Some kind of peace of mind
    Maybe

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  51. i always found that using the old husband's wedding ring when marrying the new husband was such a naughty thing to do. but you really have to get married a lot, as i have, to have fun doing this.

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  52. Another positive step of acceptance and moving forward..painful as it is. Your future is yours to create with new adventures ..keep positive. Hugs Ellexx

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  53. Sending a hug, John. And here's to a fabulous future. xo

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  54. Thinking of you and hoping that the hardest is now behind you.

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  55. Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes.
    Five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear.
    five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes.
    How do you measure,
    Measure a year?

    In daylights?
    In sunsets?
    In midnights?
    In cups of coffee?
    In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife?

    Opening to Rent

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  56. XXXX So hard. One more step taken.

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  57. I don't know you except through your blog. I live in the U.S., but feel as if we are friends. My heart hurts for you and throughout my day I'll find myself wondering how you are. I know we're thousands of miles apart but I hope you can feel my hand on your shoulder, wishing you peace.

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  58. it's so heartbreaking...it took me a long time to take mine off...big hugs

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  59. There really are no words ... my heart goes out to you .. love..C

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  60. Sending a warm, heartfelt hug, John.

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  61. You have my support and best wishes for strength, serenity, and courage as you start anew and move forward.

    Much love to you, the dogs, the cat, and the rest of your critters.

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  62. I'm so sorry John. It can't be easy for you.

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  63. Wishing brighter days ahead for you, John. Tough love tells us "the only way out is the way through." You've come this far out of what must be an overwhelming sadness, and you're coming through - into the sunshine I hope!

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  64. Must have felt like a punch in the gut. My sympathies. Now carrying what you need in your heart - forward!

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  65. Not easy and somehow final! Hugs xxx

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  66. Anonymous5:35 am

    Life can be utter shit at times. Jo x

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  67. There are many shoulders here you can lean on, John. What a blessed man you are! You might not feel it, but it's true. Forward dear heart.

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  68. You are a survivor John. It might not feel like that right now but I believe that in the end you will end up stronger, happier and more fulfilled than you can imagine. Work through the pain and just give yourself time and permission to do so. Take care of you.

    Light, love and hugs to you...

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  69. Huge hugs John, such a sad post.

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  70. I remember that day 3 years, 5 months, & 7 days ago. I was so happy for you and at the same time I wanted to say why ruin a good thing by getting married! Everyone wanted the rights to get married and now you have the adventure of divorce. I pray it isn't too messy! Breaks my heart that it didn't work out. I just don't understand. After so many years, did you grow apart? Been there...done that..and it was not fun! One day at a time...Onwards!❤️

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  71. Anonymous7:49 am

    And there you go, another step in the unravelling. If only hearts mended as easily as we do the practical bits.
    Big hugs to ya

    Kylie

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  72. We're all sad for you. Sending big hugs.

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  73. Anonymous8:11 am

    John someday you’ll be ready to clasp that ring in the palm of your hand and remember the good times without the pain. You’ll be glad you’ve kept it. It’s still an symbol of everlasting love. Given in love and of a love you shared. Time marches on. Hold on to the good times, they validate your years. You have many years yet to come, enough to have great love again x Emma

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  74. Sending love from Galloway, now I've got a new keyboard and can type again. My ring came off in 2010 and lies deep at the bottom of the millpond at Lulworth Cove. Very different circumstances to yours, hope the happy memories and great times had that the ring symbolises give you comfort and pleasure somewhere down the line. x

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  75. the saddeest thing ive read in an awful long time John , be kind to yourself

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  76. I'm so sad for you John, Best wishes x

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  77. How good was my marriage? I only started wearing my rings when he left and I wouldn't give them back because I designed them. I am an unsentimental bitch when it comes to the ex although I did do the "3 things" bit where you think of 3 positive and good things to stop being bitter. No. 1, he left. Still working on 2 and 3.

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  78. Hope waking up today wasn’t too hard. Sending you a hug from Surrey x

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  79. Life can be shit, but after a nights sleep we have a new day and new beginnings. Hope you find a way through the fog. xxx

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  80. Mine went to a charity that was advertising for old jewellery. Long, long time ago now. Life got a lot better.

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  81. New beginnings John - Onwards and upwards. You've got a gorgeous home, wonderful animals, fantastic friends and if you take it one step at a time, things will improve. I am very sorry that it didn't work out for you and I sincerely wish you all the very best for your future.

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  82. Siobhan10:05 am

    The number of comments this post has received will, I hope, remind you how important you are to so many people, and how loved

    Siobhan

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  83. Oh John! ((HUGS)) xx

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  84. You know what I think.

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  85. You're in my heart....always

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  86. Sending you huge (((hugs))) xxx

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  87. It's good to keep it. Hopefully in time you will be able to look at it and hold it, and remember the happiness without feeling the sadness.

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  88. Lisa R12:01 pm

    Hugs to you. Very sad but also a necessary step in moving forward and if you can move a little bit further forward now and again then that's good progress. Xx

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  89. sending you healing hugs xxx.

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  90. So many painful steps for you John, but each one is forward. Hugs and wishing the best for you x

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  91. So sorry Mr. John. One day at a time is all you can do. Huge hugs

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  92. 'Tis a process, but you will get through.

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  93. The ring represents the love you shared. Celebrate that and move on. I'm sure that there is more love in the future for you as you seem such a nice bloke.

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  94. I wouldn't dream of making any comments about your husband as only you two really know what has happened in your marriage; however, you are a truly lovely person and will feel happiness again. Take your time to readjust and be kind to yourself.

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  95. Anonymous2:13 pm

    Much love and many hugs to you from Joyce in Indiana.
    I wish only the very best for you always.

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  96. Anonymous2:24 pm

    Oh John, wrapping you in arms of love today. Be very gentle with yourself and know how much you are valued, special and loved. Elizabeth. X

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  97. It's painful, but cathartic, a bit like a funeral, a final goodbye.
    It had to be done though, and now there'll be no catching a painful glimpse of the ring that meant so much, both good and bad.
    Eventually the mark where it sat will fade, as will the way you're feeling right now, and you'll truly realise that you're worth better than this John Gray. X

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  98. Today was the day...you made the step. A difficult time. Please remember you are loved by all of us...you are important to us. We are sad with you but we also know, tomorrow is a new day...may not be all cheery but it is new. Every day seems to improve. (I remember the day I removed my ring...a long time ago). Hugs Mardy πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦

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  99. Remember the happy times John and also remember to look forward. xxx

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  100. So sorry John...heartbreaKing x

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  101. Anonymous4:12 pm

    Why keep it in a box? Sell it and buy something to make you happier!

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  102. So few words. Such emotion evoked. My hand on your shoulder joins those of others.

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  103. Anonymous4:35 pm

    I know it does not feel anything like it now, but sometimes fate or people push down a path we never would have taken on our own. That path could be the very one you should have been on all the time. I know what I am talking about as I was divorced while 3 months pregnant with our third child and in the middle of building a big house. My wedding ring was stolen and I did not miss it for a minute.Be looking for your new happy and fulfilling life, it's coming.

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  104. I type, then delete. This is a trying time in your life. We are here for you. I’m sorry. Gabs

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  105. That brought a big lump to my throat.

    I am so very sorry John. xx

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  106. Hugs, keep positive xxx

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  107. Sorry. It's so sad when things don't work out as hoped for.

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  108. Can say nothing that will ease your pain but you know that you are being thought of with love by so many of your blog readers and friends, sweetie (((hugs))) xx

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  109. I know how difficult removing a ring can be. My hand felt naked when I removed my ring when my partner of 20 years and I split. Thankfully, we had a prenup so there was no messy divorce. A big hug for you from Denver.

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  110. My deepest sympathies, John. I'd fallen away from reading for a while, then I decided to check in, and this...

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  111. I did that once long, long ago.

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  112. My heart to your heart. I'm so sorry that you're hurting, John. awwrrrrr.

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  113. I'm so sorry. Healing wishes for you.

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  114. Having been away from regular bogland visits for quite a while, it was quite sobering to choose today to see how you were getting on.

    Definitely, I have missed quite a bit. Without revisiting past posts, I would just like to send you a hug and my very best wishes. Promise to be back for another visit before too long. xo

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  115. Blogland. Ha, auto correct still has much to answer for.

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  116. That is so hard...I'm glad that you are among folk and family who care and look in on you. Hugs...

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  117. I've been checking on you quietly. That golden heart of yours is something else.Thanks for the reminder to remain kind,no matter what. While I know you'll find your way, I'd still fix all this in a heartbeat, if I could.

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  118. I admire how you are managing this. My heart goes out to you.

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