Pride

🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈


Before I came out  , I led a busy, social if fairly asexual life.
I had a large urban family of friends , most of whom I still keep in touch with, had a good job in a city that was as interesting as it was grubby and was as happy as I could ever be.
But I was gay and then hadn't quite let the cat out of the bag to myself so to speak

In this Pride week I recalled a moment that helped turn the tables on my slightly apathetic closet lifestyle
And it was all to do with Sheffield's Central city library's reference reading room.
I used to go there on a spare day off or a morning before a late shift.
I always liked the desks that all pointed in the same direction . The fact you only saw the back of people's heads as they studied and the delightfully Deco wooden book filled shelves and the giant  metal rimmed windows that filtered the light from Surrey Street and Tudor Square

That day I was reading. I can't remember what ...but I do remember  a young man walking by my seat from behind with his rucksack creaking as he brushed past. He half turned his head as he passed and dropped a small piece of paper in front of me before walking to the front of the seating area then turning right and back out of the room.
He had thick dark hair and wore a untidy green jumper like students often do.
I was suddenly conscious that other people may have seen his note drop and I felt strangely embarrassed by it, but carefully I opened the paper and read a Sheffield telephone number proceeded by the name Alan.
I had been cruised!
Cruised in the Sheffield City Library!

How exciting!
I may have not fully recognised my own gayness back then but thankfully someone else had and from almost nowhere and one phone call later I had my first proper gay date with a guy called Alan who had a scruffy green jumper and who lived in Sheffield.🌈🌈🌈

103 comments:

  1. Oooh errr. You fast cat you

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just think it could have been a toilet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No time wasting in a toilet.

      Delete
    2. Did you ever go to gay cruising bars?

      Delete
    3. A few bars, the scene in Sheffield then was pretty dire

      Delete
    4. There's loads listed on Google in London. I was watching the George Michael story the other night. That's what brought it to mind. x

      Delete
    5. I think most gay pubs are just pick up joints.

      Delete
    6. I remember going to London .. Soho in the early 80's...it was an exciting place to be for a couple of country bumpkins such as my boyfriend and I... we walked around and saw the sights and decided we needed a drink and a toilet stop. We stopped in at this fantastic pub.. name unknown.. he needed the loo...I sat gazing in the sights... he took off up a ladder of a staircase to the bogs... up.. up.. up... left and right and up...I looked around the pub and wondered why it felt so strange... then I realised we were in a gay pub..hahaha...about 5 minutes later .. my very straight boyfriend legged it down the very vertigo causing staircase very spooked... he was like quick ... lets go. I was in hysterics. I never asked what happened in the bogs but we left none the less.

      Jo in Auckland, NZ

      Delete
    7. Sorry, I didn't mean to hijack your story...I just realised.. but your comment about gay pubs being pick up joints jogged my memory

      Jo

      Delete
  3. That's possibly the sweetest thing I've ever read. A different time. x

    ReplyDelete
  4. What a lovely story x

    ReplyDelete
  5. someone thought you were cute!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I used to work in that very Reference Library!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I always sat at
      the front on the left

      Delete
  7. Sweet little memory story . . .

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous10:56 am

    I am racking my memory, but I don't think I have ever picked up in a library, mind a pick and myself did go to the State public library to do what had to be done. I've done the phone number on paper drop twice, without success. Nice memory John, and you must have felt pretty good about being lusted after.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was a red letter event Andrew. I was flattered. Excited and happy all tolled into one

      Delete
  9. Replies
    1. A short lived one. He was a student studying engineering . He had floppy hair and a so he bed

      Delete
  10. Blimey; no-one ever dropped me a telephone number!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I like that story :o)

    ReplyDelete
  12. That was wonderful John-so romantic and possibly very erotic in the musky library x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yess John-I think it would be in a dim lit ,musky ,testosterone fueled library with the possibility of the librarian catching yourself and Alan in flagrante x

      Delete
  13. A thrilling moment! and now a great memory.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Jimmy Buffet did a song called "Love in the Library." It was sweet. Just like your story.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Lucky you! Sadly the libraries of my youth were never haunted by attractive young men. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  16. How delicious...

    ReplyDelete
  17. Lovely story. Did you ever drop such a note yourself?

    ReplyDelete
  18. You made me smile this morning. Thanks for the happiness.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I found this so interesting John. My oldest and dearest friend is gay and is now in a very happy civil partnership which is working so well and has been doing for the last ten years or so but who was well into his fifties before he came out. I had never thought of him as gay and it was such a shock but a happy one as he had always seemed such a lonely chap.

    ReplyDelete
  20. He'd had his eye on you for a while no doubt.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I remember him saying he saw me once before and knew I was a nurse

      Delete
  21. It is fun being noticed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YES, someone made a pass at me recently, I was stunned, but honored that someone noticed. Many years ago I was in a bookstore, and someone walked by and muttered “fagot” and I responded in a loud voice, THANK YOU FOR NOTICING!

      Delete
    2. Recently ? How wonderful x

      Delete
  22. When my son was born, he had 2 "fairy" godmothers.
    Richard and Sy. They appointed themselves his godmothers and they were the best you could wish for.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I love this story! I'm so glad you called him!

    ReplyDelete
  24. awwww such a happy story.

    cheers, parsnip

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not that happy we only dated a couple of times , but it was a start gayle x

      Delete
  25. Here's to Alan, wherever he may be!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He wanted to work on oil rigs as I remember

      Delete
  26. A wonderful story. He saw the real you.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Once upon a time, I had a gay friend called Alan.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Smoothly too, I may add.

    ReplyDelete
  29. What a thrill for you! How old were you? Were you living away from home and on your own? I love your comment reply that he had floppy hair and a single bed...so...if he got a good haircut and bought a bigger bed, would the romance have lasted?

    lizzy

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous5:22 pm

    1991 ish i was 29.yes on my own
    (John Here)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh I pictured you being much younger, how difficult it must have been for you, not knowing or acknowledging being gay. It sounds lonely, despite your having lots of friends. I hope things are better and freer now for the generations coming up now and in the future.
      x

      Delete
    2. It wasn't a bad time at all. Many gay men my age who came out earlier at the height of aids etc had a dreadful time. I , think I was more comfortable in my own skin, comfortable with my support and comfortable in my confidence as a more mature twenty something

      Delete
    3. That's good then, the timing was for the best.

      Delete
  31. Wow! Good for you! That's a great memory. It's interesting how libraries, despite their bookish and celibate image, often wind up being pretty sexy places.

    ReplyDelete
  32. A young woman left a note under my windscreen wiper on a car once (old Volvo - again). I did a bit of detective work and ended up knocking on her door. She was shocked to see me standing there, but not as shocked as her boyfriend. We had a brief affair, and now she is a mother of adult children - by the same boyfriend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Desperate, were you? Detective work? And you had a "brief" affair. A cheater into the bargain. Is there no end to your charms and seductive talents?

      No hug, plenty of hisses,
      U

      Delete
    2. Now it would seem that people swipe left or swipe right

      Delete
    3. John, the thing I mot dislike bout the bitch above is that she carries out bitter and personal attacks on other people from other people's blogs. She has attacked dear Joanne Noragon twice in one day over at mine. Why do you tolerate her? She is disgusting.

      Delete
    4. Let everyone make their decisions....I have found fighting her makes things worse

      Delete
    5. Joanne is one of life's sweet people....everyone knows that x

      Delete
    6. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

      Delete
  33. "a city that was as interesting as it was grubby". Hey! That's my adopted city you are talking about dude! Expect a letter from Sheffield City Council's legal department.

    ReplyDelete
  34. What a beautiful story! I love that it was in a library.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I was the only one in my public library when I was young. Great dates with books.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I still can smell that reference library

      Delete
  36. This strikes me as quite a tender moment. And, as always, so well told.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Hell, at least he was mannered. I was in a library once and had a guy grab his jewels and motioned for me to follow to the restroom. The nerve!!!!


    And I was only a senior in high school then!!!!! But you remind me of another story too, I may have to blog that once day.

    ReplyDelete
  38. John, you cheeky devil! Love it! Cruising the library...well I nev...oh wait, ok, never mind, I did .

    ReplyDelete
  39. Ron and I snickered at reading this, John. I too was pushed out of my secure closet by a note I found in my locker at university. And I haven't looked back since. Thanks Ron.

    ReplyDelete
  40. What a romantic story John good on Alan and you for picking up the phone.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Nice! You got checked out like a book in a library!

    ReplyDelete
  42. Here's a little nudge to get this posting up to and over the century line.

    ReplyDelete
  43. And all these years later you’d still recognized Alan. If he only knew the difference he made in your life. Libraries are famously cruisy.

    ReplyDelete
  44. I love origin stories and I love libraries. Adding secret notes makes this the best Pride story!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Good for Alan, spotting your true self and encouraging you to reveal it. A life-changing note in Sheffield City Library!

    ReplyDelete
  46. Very nice post really ! I apperciate your blog Thanks for sharing,keep sharing more blogs.

    ΰΈ”ูΰΈ«ΰΈ™ัΰΈ‡

    ReplyDelete

I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes