Tuesday, 8 May 2018

Not Once


When I was young and single I never really did the gay scene.
At that time Sheffield's scene was confined to a few pubs and clubs most  of which were located in the industrial badlands of the old steel city.
They were glittery, camp and very rough around the edges.
Former steel working pubs that had died when the factories and works died in the Lower Don Valley.

I went out occasionally with a group of men who were
 the friends of Nige who was one of my best friends. As I recall they all dressed up to the nines like the gals in Sex and the city . 
My friend I were more conservative in our looks.
Nigel is neater and tidier than I.
I disliked those pubs especially the one called Demseys which wasn't particularly rough as it was common.
Demseys catered for a gay clientele many of whom went out after supermarket shopping in the cuty centre so it was common to have to negotiate bags of peas and tins of this and that scattered on the laminate floor when you fought to get yourself to the bar.
They also gave out occasional freebees of anaemic looking sausages on paper plates before last orders
Lovely!
I much preferred the once a month gay night which was based at the city Hall's ballroom. The Art Deco ballroom resembled the main dining saloon in a The Poseidon Adventure and so suited my camp love of 1970 disaster movies.
It was also quite dark so I could hide my bad dancing ability behind the ballroom pillars.

It was at a time before "swipe the app left or right on your phone" and the dating technology them was a sticker with a number on it. The sticker was  slapped unceremoniously onto your left shoulder as you entered.
In the corner of the ballroom was situated an overhead projector! And if someone fancied you, they would write your number with a felt pen on the acetate ! When you read your number you would have to walk the walk to see who had " picked you" 
Perhaps it was my dress sense
Perhaps it was my lack of dancing ability
Perhaps it was my clumsy walk or the odd bleach stain on my t shirt

But I never got picked! 
Not once!


Ps we may make 500 comments! If you read Sunday's blog entry and didn't comment ..please do so ( ON SUNDAY's blog please ) leaving your name and location ......it was a great experiment 

66 comments:

  1. I never got picked until last for the rounders matches at school ... until the flukey day I scored 6 rounders one after the other. I was picked first the next couple of times ... stupid them ... I didn't hit another ball let alone get a rounder.

    Now about Irene ... when would you like us to pick her up?

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    Replies
    1. Whenever you are free x we may need to mobilise a few villagers to help

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    2. Perhaps one day next week then?

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    3. Excellent. Il get a hurdle from local farmer so I can get her used to being enclosed when I feed her. It may work

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    4. I was always picked last too.... I hated all things sport... other than 'cross country running' I loved that. I read recently that a teacher used to make sure that the last one picked got to pick the team next time... Sounds like a much kinder way to do things.

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  2. I had so forgotten about the number thing in bars. I can remember seeing it once or more but I never took much notice. I think it was a bit more electronic than writing on acetate. No doubt my number was continually flashing on the screen.

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    1. I take u were a catch back then

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  3. If they had seen your personality and heart, they would have permanently added number to the screen.

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  4. Did they do that in straight bars & clubs? I never went to any so I wouldn't know. How odd

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    1. I wouldn't put money on it

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  5. Good Lord, sounds like a cattle call or sexy auction.
    "Number 65 is a fair beauty with strong biceps, a quick wit and eyes that will make you drop your drawers. While he is looking for love, a love of all things dogs and scotch eggs will help seal the deal."
    Pity no one found you dashing, but hey, the Prof does and that is all that matters now.

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    1. I kissed a few princes as well as a few frogs in those days

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  6. Never getting picked in gym class to be on someone’s “team” was a daunting experience. Shuts a person right down!

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    1. It certainly does. What a cruel thing to do to people

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  7. The bar scene was never my fave either. Not a great spot for introverts, lol! Community dances were a little better but if they were "mixed" (i.e. both gay men and lesbians), then there would ALWAYS be a drag show in the middle that would take simply HOURS to get through because gawd knows, every queen HAD to have her full 15 minutes of stage time!

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    Replies
    1. Ain't THAT the truth

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    2. Debra...you ARE a RIOT!! lol

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  8. Have you checked your spam folder for comments to Sunday's post? I commented twice so that I could let you know that although in South East England - I am a Londoner and the second comment didn't show up even though it said it had been sent. John, the reason you never got picked is because they could see you were out of their league!!!

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    1. Simone your comment is there. There were so many comments you have to click on another link situated by this box to " see more posts" , they are all there x almost to 500!

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  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  10. You would have liked the San Francisco gay scene in those days. I moved to SF from North Carolina, talk about ' You Are Not In Kansas Anymore Dorothy.'.
    Gay or straight, that whole scene of waiting for someone to pick you, choose you, as if they are such a prize .. ugh !

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  11. I seem to have missed out on all the scenes for the past we're-not-really-going-to-mention-how-long, BUT school sports are too long ago to remember and I spent the 70s either pregnant or nursing, the 80s carpooling and the 90s going to graduations! ;~) that's my story and I'm sticking to it! xo

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    1. Sounds like a productive 70s and 80s to me x

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    2. Savannah ! me too ! lol 1968 & 1972 babies !

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  12. I went to a bar once, with my sister, to meet someone she made very interested in meeting me. This experience taught me that potential dating material is not to be found in bars, and, drive your own vehicle if you go.

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  13. The men I fancied & dated were tall,dark & handsome & had more than a wandering eye so sadly I was often in tears x

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    1. lol, been there , done that ... hopefully it is all in the past !

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  14. Familiar scenario. (I just wrote a long comment but pressed the wrong key and it's gone!)

    One of my bugbears is going to a bar where the barman resolutely and conspicuously won't serve you because (one presumes) he doesn't fancy you - or possibly repelled. Nothing to do with being drunk or even tipsy, but he'll serve others to the right, left or behind you, some of them the worse for drink, even though you're right there standing in front. It's happened to me three or four times in various places. I just give up and walk out, seething and humiliated.

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  15. Blimey John, that sounds bleak, though looking back, most night clubs were pretty dire meat markets.

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  16. Don't feel bad John. I never got picked for dodge ball in middle school either--probably just as well.

    lizzy

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  17. Things happen for a reason. You just were meant for more charming and enchanting things! You were a swan in a duck pond!

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    Replies
    1. Or a duck in a swsn flock

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  18. Over the 500 now John and still climbing. That's how many blog friends you've got and we all love you!!

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  19. That's ok John, they probably could see that you are a quality guy and were intimidated by you. Those guys are most likely still single and you have a hubby! The only time I ever got hit on by a really cute guy, was my first night out with my boyfriend at the time. I was ticked, go away you dork, you're too late, is what I was thinking.

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    1. Like I said I did kiss a few frogs

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  20. I have often walked by Dempsey's at the bottom of The Moor but I have never been in... honest!

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    Replies
    1. Put dettol on your shoes when you leave

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  21. Hi John, I tried to post on Sundays post but it wouldn't let me. Cassie from Portland, New York

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  22. It did Cassie you just didn't see the post 531 so far keep em coming we make make 600 at this rate

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous7:13 pm

      The English are being typically reserved and shy.

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  23. I went to a telephone bar in Hamburg once. Nobody called.

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    Replies
    1. Were you engaged ?

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    2. No, he was ex-directory.

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  24. Hi Sue from near York in North Yorkshire

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  25. Thank god this was not the practice here when we hit the gay scene as novices! Way too 'in your face' for me.

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    Replies
    1. Now it's just swipe left

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  26. Perhaps it was because you were destined to meet Prof. I hope he had a good birthday. He looks very dignified :-)

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  27. It sounds like a particularly painful way to get a date.

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  28. As another who was never picked, I think the prospect of going through that again would have kept me out of the bar.

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  29. Yeah, I never got picked either. Or if I did I was too clueless to notice.

    Speaking of "The Poseidon Adventure," have you seen the guy on YouTube who made a series of videos in which he built a large diorama of the ship's ballroom in his living room? I just stumbled onto it tonight and it blew my mind. I laughed so hard!

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    Replies
    1. Yes.......it's adorable as is the Poseidon Adventure ( the musical) with my fav song " panties what else do I need?"

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  30. Anonymous9:44 pm

    Hola I´m Maria from Nerja 50km to the east of Malaga in España.

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  31. 'Back then' I went to The Cossack, in Sheffield, a couple of times; plus some very seedy place down London Road.

    Couldn't stand any of that disco/hi nrg/house crap they played in the 'scene' pubs & clubs. I used to wonder if I was the only gay man in the world who liked metal, punk, and grunge!

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    Replies
    1. I have fond memories of the Cossack ( now a piece of grass)
      It was like an American bar to me

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  32. Omg only 45 comments for 600

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  33. Well John, at least you put yourself out there. I doubt I ever did. Too self conscious to participate back then. I've often thought if I had my early days to do again, I would be more adventurous and less worried about what others thought of me. Looking back now, I think who the f*@k cares!

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  34. Sounds like a cruel way to arrange dates!

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    ReplyDelete
  36. Beautiful image the building You chose well for the theme.
    Your blog is very nice,Thanks for sharing good blog.
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    ReplyDelete

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