Sunday, 15 April 2018

Mentors

The Prof has gone to have his second sailing lesson today.
He has an experienced sailing mentor.
I am sat at the kitchen table completing some mentoring paperwork.
I am a mentor to two Samaritans in training.
If you are fortunate you will have a whole succession of mentors during your lifetime.
Parents and grandparents are obvious mentors if you are lucky.
Role models that teach you to "do as I do and not do as I say"
Sadly for many the credo is the other way around in many families.
My father didn't really mentor me in the way of manly things. It wasn't quite done in our family. I always thought that you father was there to teach you about sex, how to shave properly and how to change a tyre on the car.
Mine did non of those things, but he did teach me to drive.
" Always anticipate the other road users to do something wrong" I remember him saying and his words have stuck with me to this day
Funnily enough I'm a crap driver too!

63 comments:

  1. I though "Mentors" were a kind of chewy mint. The sort that's displayed near a petrol station till.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that's "mentos", YP! :)
      and they suck.

      Delete
    2. Thank you for addressing my minty ignorance Anne Marie.

      Delete
  2. My father wasn't a good mentor either, but he did teach our oldest daughter to drive when we had given up. Guess some people don't mellow until they're 60 or so. I do remember him saying repeatedly "Don't ride the brakes!" which I now try so very hard to mentor my husband about...a lost cause I fear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. These statements do stick don't they?

      Delete
  3. My mother had me when she was very young and she had younger sisters. So there was a time when I was a small child that I had about 4 mothers who watched out for me and then there was my Grandfather the Marine Sgt who was putty in my hands.
    I never felt a lack of a father figure ..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Something so many young men miss out on nowadays

      Delete
  4. My father would 'mentor' me on car mechanics as an excuse to hold a torch for him for hours in a freezing, dark garage. He was a crap mechanic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And ever since then you have held many torches

      Delete
  5. my maternal grandmother was my mentor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What did she teach you?

      Delete
  6. My Dad taught me car related stuff also.My Mum said always be polite and do whatever makes you happy x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Vague enough to be useful

      Delete
  7. I taught three of my four kids to drive and the fourth is still working on it. I'm really proud of that!

    I don't remember anyone outside my family making any effort to mentor me. I wonder if nobody saw potential or if they were just too wrapped up in their own stuff. I hope I do better than that

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You learn from others mistakes

      Delete
  8. I would say I had several great role models in both of my parents and my maternal grandmother. I've had few mentors at work but I myself especially enjoy being a mentor for those people that are new in my office. It is a skill I think I've come about naturally and I've found I have learned as much as I teach.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I must have mentored 50 nurses maybe more

      Delete
  9. I had mentors in business, to whom I was eternally grateful when I started and succeeded at my own business.

    ReplyDelete
  10. My mum was and still is my mentor. She taught me by setting examples. I think that examples teach more than words.
    Greetings Maria x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Greetings!
      Nicely put Maria

      Delete
  11. My dad was a mentor. He taught me how to repair mechanical things, change tyres, check my car engine, iron shirts, and bake custard tarts. He had been in the army, and was an all-rounder, I thank him everyday for his wiseness.
    ~Jo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think teaching skills like the ones you learned are vital as it also teaching you that the investing of time and effort is of equal importance

      Delete
  12. Mentor sounds like a modern, workplace word to me. I learned things at home by watching and taking it all in.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have got to be encouraged to watch

      Delete
    2. It doesn't change my feeling about the word mentor.

      Delete
    3. I never thought it would

      Delete
  13. 'do as I say, not as I do' was our family motto. my parents even made a mosaic table with our family tree and that motto on it. it was the coffee table in front of the couch in the family room. I always thought it was hypocritical.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes it doesntsould quite right des it?

      Delete
  14. I do appreciate people who've shown me kindness and taught me some of their wisdom. Good mentors are a treasure, and you and the Professor are golden!

    ReplyDelete
  15. So sailing is going to be the Prof's new hobby and pastime, is it? Nice!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I doubt it , we are urban bound

      Delete
  16. Your dad had some good advice there about driving. Ours is "drive like everyone else on the road is drunk." By that I mean don't trust turn signals to reflect what the driver is actually intending to do and expect the unexpected. Since we live in a tourist destination, out-of-town drivers (and pedestrians!) invariably do stupid things because they're not paying attention or they think the rules don't apply to them. My son-in-law is a police officer and he stopped a guy for speeding once and told him there were speed limit signs all along that road. His excuse was "But, I'm not from around here."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Funny you say that my father drove drunk many times in the 1970 s , everyone did

      Delete
    2. Me too, a few times, sorry to say. It horrifies me now to think about it.

      Delete
  17. I was lucky, I had good parents, I didn't realize this until I moved away and saw how other people had parents they couldn't trust or rely on. Plus I have met many good people in my life, including some really good younger people that I learned from.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I certainly can't refer to my upbringing on how to be a good parent. I patterned myself on wonderful mothers like Marmee in Little Women and Mama in I Remember Mama. I have been termed a Mary Poppins which I take as a compliment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Irene dunne......the best Scandinavian mama ever

      Delete
  19. My kids turned out to be wonderful adults. What I lacked as a role model, my husband had in spades and visa versa. We feel very blessed to have believed in the saying, "opposites attract"! ( they also make good role models)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes I wonder how many of us are mentors for partners

      Delete
  20. I've had some wonderful mentors in my life, not called by that name and not always recognised by me at the time - but I am very grateful now for their support and guidance.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I was lucky to have good role models in my parents and also other adults in the small country community where I grew up. I still look for those who I feel I can learn from and follow their examples, while trying to be one for the next generation. We should never stop learning and never stop trying to pass the good along.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agreed....mentoring should last a lifetime

      Delete
  22. The older I get the more convinced I am that genetics made me the way I am. Any mentoring I received probably ran counter to that, turning me into a neurotic, the one thing that I'm sure is NOT inborn, but that probably wasn't the outcome my mentors had in mind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I forgot to add some mentoring can be bad too

      Delete
  23. My Dad taught me to change a tire and my Mom taught me to drive but my Grandmother was my mentor - she taught me love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Different mentors for different life skills

      Delete
  24. Not a lot of mentoring went on in our lives. Quite a lot of disciplining.
    And now I too mentor for our Samaritan equivalent. And worry that I might have missed out on the mentor mindset.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You obviously didn't if you can provide it

      Delete
    2. I do, and have been told I do it well - but it doesn't come easily.

      Delete
  25. I was fortunate to have a wonderful maiden aunt, who took me and my mother in, when alcohol and septic family caused a break up in the marriage. She was a very important figure in NZ early childhood education (first Director of Preschool services and instrumental in setting up the (public) Kindergarten system in NZ) so the ideal person to cope with a small child. I always adored her and even as an adult, she was the one who was there for me, encouraging and believing in me.

    I recall talking to her on the phone about a difficult child I was teaching and straight away she got to the bottom of it and her suggestions turned the corner for him.

    The sex of the mentor / parent doesn't matter, their personal goodness does.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A wonderful entry Virginia

      Delete
  26. I don't remember either parent ever mentioning sex - don't know how I learned about it really

    ReplyDelete
  27. My father said, "Watch what I do and do the opposite." It still touches my heart and I bless him for it.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Unfortunately I never had a mentor.No Grandparents for cherishing and my Dad who I adored died the month after I turned 13 and my mother struggled to exist after losing him so young (41yrs)... my brother was 4yrs - so I learned everything the hard way.
    I try to share my living experiences with my three grown up children but they have had a very different upbringing secure in having both parents and certainty of a roof over their heads. They are all good people and have done well in their fields no doubt with other influences as well as ours.
    I guess I find your pages John - and your blog friends, some means of connection and mentoring as its all a matter of perspective from whence you came and life experiences we've all had and share

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel so blessed again in my marriage after Doctor ODUMODU brought back my husband that separated with me for one good year. Am ALENNA by name from ROMANIA. Even though i have mouths all over my body, it won't be enough to thank Doctor ODUMODU for his help upon my life. My husband separated with me for one year and have been in pains and agony without him. So, i searched for help everywhere but nothing worked out not until i meant Doctor ODUMODU. I explained my situation to him and he promised that my husband will get back to me within 48 hours as far that my heart still beats for him. I believed in him and he prepared a spell for me and my husband called me exactly when Doctor ODUMODU said. He pleaded and said he needs me back and now we are living happily again for the past 9 months. Everyone out there reading my article that needs help should contact him...Emil:drodumodusolutions@gmail.com

      Delete
  29. Debi.2:01 pm

    I always say to my Grandkids when they go out in their cars...remember that everyone else on the road is a prat,so keep your eyes open for all the idiots out there!.My Dad always taught me to be on time...and not even 2 mins late!xx

    ReplyDelete
  30. I came across your this post while trying to find information regarding blog-related research ... It's a good post .. keep posting and updating information.Taxi Asheville near me

    ReplyDelete
  31. My parents were serious people and drank daily. I was adopted and have a mostly casual attitude about life. The humor to be found in any situation is my pollyanna gift. Although my parents were very different than me I knew I could count on their love. I have tried to pass on this gift to my own children. They are now adults with their own children and when they are discussing dilemmas I feel free to put in my opinions/suggestions with the caveat that although I want to express myself on the subject, I have no corresponding need to have them follow my advice.
    Our family motto is ‘Often wrong, but never in doubt!’

    ReplyDelete
  32. My father taught me not to trust because they will always let you down. He was the master.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel so blessed again in my marriage after Doctor ODUMODU brought back my husband that separated with me for one good year. Am ALENNA by name from ROMANIA. Even though i have mouths all over my body, it won't be enough to thank Doctor ODUMODU for his help upon my life. My husband separated with me for one year and have been in pains and agony without him. So, i searched for help everywhere but nothing worked out not until i meant Doctor ODUMODU. I explained my situation to him and he promised that my husband will get back to me within 48 hours as far that my heart still beats for him. I believed in him and he prepared a spell for me and my husband called me exactly when Doctor ODUMODU said. He pleaded and said he needs me back and now we are living happily again for the past 9 months. Everyone out there reading my article that needs help should contact him...Emil:drodumodusolutions@gmail.com

      Delete
  33. wow !!! beautiful and so lovely work :) i really like your good idea so much.Thank for sharing.

    หนังออนไลน์

    ReplyDelete
  34. I feel so blessed again in my marriage after Doctor ODUMODU brought back my husband that separated with me for one good year. Am ALENNA by name from ROMANIA. Even though i have mouths all over my body, it won't be enough to thank Doctor ODUMODU for his help upon my life. My husband separated with me for one year and have been in pains and agony without him. So, i searched for help everywhere but nothing worked out not until i meant Doctor ODUMODU. I explained my situation to him and he promised that my husband will get back to me within 48 hours as far that my heart still beats for him. I believed in him and he prepared a spell for me and my husband called me exactly when Doctor ODUMODU said. He pleaded and said he needs me back and now we are living happily again for the past 9 months. Everyone out there reading my article that needs help should contact him...Emil:drodumodusolutions@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete

I love comments and will now try very hard to reply to all of them
Please dont be abusive x

Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.