Friday, 1 December 2017

Oh Dorothy!!!!


I'm such a friggin' fucking, twatting, bollocking, arseholing dick brain!
Guess Who gave the fitters the WRONG measurements for the floor? 

84 comments:

  1. Was it you? Oh dear. As a penance, buy a scotch egg and just look at it for an entire hour - and then give it to Winnie. That should teach you a lesson!

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  2. Lesson learned, hopefully it was not a too expensive mistake. Always, always have the vendors measure so the mistake is on them. I had workers make a mistake on costly granite countertops. It only cost me time.

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  3. I would think fitters would do the measuring themselves.

    Um...Who exactly are fitters gain? I don't have much of a brain either.

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    1. Floor fitters....do you call them layers?

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    2. Floor layers or floor installers. Again, I just assumed they would do the measuring.

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  4. Interesting. Carpet/vinyl suppliers here come and measure up for themselves and do the fitting. Wales must be different.

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    1. I'm upset now, having to believe that Wales is still in the Stone Age when it comes to measuring. There was a man here two days ago and the measured the kitchen in an instant with a red dot. It's called a laser beam believe.

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    2. I used the Ikea kitchen floor plans thinking it was the entire kitchen room and not just the floor space of the kitchen fitted ....

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    3. Not interesting

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    4. You'll need some quiet time tonight.

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    5. Just had to pick the Prof up after he'd been to the pub.....yeah right

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  5. Oh no! But then you never said you were the handyman kinda guy.

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  6. What sort of fitters dont do their own measuring. Otherwise you would be a carpet fitter dear John.

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    Replies
    1. They don't come out to do it here

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  7. Oh no!!! I've done that. Spent £80k on a bespoke conservatory (don't ask, it was a life time ago!) and then gave the wrong floor measurements to the carpet guys. The carpet had to be pieced and I never told my now ex hubby ;-)

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  8. That is a common mistake. Even the suppliers make miscalculations. Sorry for you, but re-modeling isn't for sissies. Just horrible. but you'll get over it soon.

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    1. Thank u I need sympathy

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  9. Don't berate yourself too much . . . shit happens!

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  10. I would blame the fitters. I've never known them to not do their own measurements for this very reason. X

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    1. No..you take the measurements yourself...or in my case you take in the kitchen plan

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  11. Oh dear! Did you do Maths at school?

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    1. Ah! Or was it a C.S.E.?
      Question 7(b) If a kitchen measures 8 feet by 9 feet what is the area of the floor in square metres?

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  12. Fitters should take of that shit themselves.

    Hope it all works out ok.

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  13. Raybeard has the right penance for you. I had floors put in last month and THEY did the measuring. I wouldn't trust myself to do it.

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  14. Dearest Dodo, that comes from cutting corners. Save a penny, spend a pound.

    Let's say, for sake of argument, that it was haughty Prof who did the measuring; let's say, for sake of even worse argument, that he let you do the measuring, then, whichever way you look at it, it's HIS fault not YOURS.

    Other than that, you may wish to enter both of you in the dumb of any hair colour contest - and your fitters too.

    U

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    1. Knew you'd just love this post!

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  15. Just piss on it like a dog and move on.

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    1. Hahahaha... best reply....EVER

      Jo in Auckland, NZ

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    2. I have taken full responsibility and have knifed myself in the gut

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  16. John, I am so sorry. I hope your floor guys are real men and just get more tile and carry on.

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  17. Oh dear, so the photos of the completed work will have to wait a while....
    I'm surprised that the floor fitters didn't do their own measuring up.

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  18. Uh oh . . . but someday it will be funny, even to you, I promise. All of us have a story like this, somewhere in our past - or yet to happen. Keep calm and carry on swearing!

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  19. Okay, my mouth just dropped. Hopefully it will be easily remedied. I think they should have taken their own measurements just as a back up plan since they are suppose to be the professionals. Don't worry, just a little hiccup so stop beating yourself up.

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  20. bad bad put a rug over it!

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  21. ALBERT!
    Ruth in Oxnard CA USA

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  22. Upps :(

    Jo in Auckland, NZ

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  23. Are you a friend of Dorothy?

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    Replies
    1. Didn't you know?

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    2. No. I am a creature with straw for a brain.

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  24. Not your fault! They should take their own measurements. This will soon be over...I hope.

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  25. Welcome to my world.

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  26. Time for intravenous gin as we used to joke.Sympathies, scotch egg on the side

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, I did eat a scotch egg at teatime

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    2. Did it the scotch egg taste as good as you remember ?

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  27. When Mr GBT first started making furniture he was advised to measure twice cut once. We have both learnt the hard way several times the truth of this! Arilx

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  28. I just did the same too,soo annoying and expensive. Hope that makes you feel a bit better knowing there are at least 2 of us arseholing dick brains

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    Replies
    1. More fuckity fuck fuck fuck

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  29. Look on the bright side you could have been measuring a patient!

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  30. Anonymous9:08 pm

    Oops!!
    Debbie

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  31. add a different colour and call it a decorative feature!

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  32. Its the fitters fault !!

    Give George a pat for me :)

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    Replies
    1. He's asleep, and is flecked with ivory paint

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  33. awwww a bit of mess but not the end of the world, you have just joined the Club of Mistakes ! We all belong !
    The printer who prints my cards just call and he thought I measured my card wrong, wrong wrong....I hope his fix is not so bad that I do not despise it.

    cheers, parsnip

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  34. It will be ok. I did my bathroom floor in the summer and didn't quite get the measurements right and when I went back to the store they were out of my tile. Under the vanity the tiles are a slightly darker grey (or so I tell myself). I had to be very careful laying the tiles to do that. This too will pass.

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  35. Can't you order more?

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    Replies
    1. Only a tiny glitch, John, all will be well.

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  36. The universe is in testing mode once again, Johnny!!

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  37. Damn Damn Damn.... Time for Eye Rolling and Stomping Around Grinding Teeth.... then move on. It's all part of the rich tapestry of life... and it's a tapestry because someone needed to change colours and threads - they had a Whoops moment too....

    I hope it wasn't too costly an error, and that you can get more of your chosen flooring. Still excited to see the finished product.

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  38. Oh feck. You'll have to hold off the grand opening now. Chin up you daft bugger.

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    1. I wonder if Jane asher can remember schedule

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  39. Anonymous11:48 pm

    Tomorrows another Day . Get your self a scotch egg tomorrow and smile :)

    Sue R

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  40. Why on Earth didn't you have them come in and measure? We never install flooring without sending our own people to measure.

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  41. Did you over measure or under measure?

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    1. Under,......in my defence I used the measurements of the kitchen provided by Ikea...but like estate agent measurements they didn't include alcoves and doorways!

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  42. Why didn't the effing fitters do their own effing measurements? They must be partly to blame.

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  43. Write a letter to Ikea and see if they have sympathy for you. Maybe they will send you a free something or other that you can put together wrong. Can't wait to see the finished kitchen!

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  44. Oh, NOW I understand the more recent Dozy post!

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  45. Five years from now, this will be part of the funny story of having the new kitchen installed. Painful now, funny later.

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  46. John, isn’t that how it goes? I can single handily mess things up. All is well, hopefully everything will be done next week. Scotch eggs might douse the discomfort.

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