We are on the final leg of our holiday, namely the Arriva Trains Wales journey from Chester along the North Wales coast.
It's always a thankless Micky Mouse kind of trip with the great unwashed making the place look untidy.
The Prof is already bemoaning the lack of his daily Espresso Cocktail overlooking Grand Central Station's main concourse .
" Everything looks so dull and BORING" he sighed as he eyed the bedraggled and the forlorn
" Everything....Everything is so, sooo, soooo...unattractive!"
Well I feel somewhat unattractive, I can tell you!
No sleep on the plane and an hour snoring my head off on the London to Chester train where I dribbled crisp crumbs over my new hoodie top and got laughed at by two teenage boys, who thought that the sight of a near unconscious Welshman with a face the consistency of play doh hilarious!
Travelling is not glamorous !
You forget that in all the excitement of Espresso cocktails and foreign accents
Foreign accents? Welcome home. I have given up on trying to sleep on overnight flights, I read and listen to music, if I nap great, I plan a day of rest after the overnight journey.
ReplyDeleteI feel like a donkey's dick
DeleteJohn: You've had so many fascinating experiences; what exactly does a donkey's dick feel like?
DeleteBut, but... I LIKE bedraggled and forlorn! (But then, I did grow up in Cleveland...)
ReplyDeleteWickedHamster, Love your avatar !
Deletecheers, parsnip
Good line
DeleteAh but John...home is going to feel sooooo good. There is, after all, nothing so lovely as an ordinary day.
ReplyDeleteWell whilst the Prof had laid on the couch with a virgin airline blanket over his head, I have gone to greata's to pick Winnie up, then to my sisters to pick up George ...then up to the kennels to pick up the Welsh terriers. I've then bought supper, prepared it, cleaned up and done some washing
DeleteAnnnnnd....we're back folks.
DeleteThis is your version of jet lag?
DeleteWhen you get home and curl up in your own bed it will be lovely.
ReplyDeleteOpen windows and wonderful fresh air and a thundering herd of four footed friends.
cheers, parsnip
My first flight ever was for work and it was 26 hours! I never felt so dirty, sticky, stinky and had such a sore bum in all my life!
ReplyDeleteIt was only 6 hours home! We had a tail wind
Deletenever slept on my overseas flights...every bump had me wetting my drawers.
ReplyDeleteOurs was as smooth as a baby's arse
DeleteThis is why we flew to Argentina in first class.a flight that long and everything involved demanded a large over priced airplane seat.
DeletePoor John, poor Prof! NYC would seem dull and mundane too if you lived here. Tho I suppose you could perk things up with a daily espresso cocktail or two.
ReplyDeleteI've just bought some kahuha fir the Prof as a thank you
DeleteYou are the best husband, John!
DeleteKahlua
DeleteThat too x
DeleteArriva Trains are not like the Orient Express then?
ReplyDeleteI've just come back from seeing the new Branagh, Sue. 'Murder on Arriva' - doesn't have quite the same romantic ring, does it? (Though I bet their trains have indeed been the scene of more than one of those crimes before now, tragically).
DeleteLol sue and Raymondo....
DeleteArriva trains? Think of those steam trains from old westerns
I should have thought that returning to your 'kids' and watching their reactions would more than compensate for your coming back to the drabness. Just thinking about their happiness would give me the necessary adrenaline rush.
ReplyDeleteAll life has settled down now..Albert is on the couch with the Prof and George William is in the arm. Chair asleep. Mary is shagging Winnie...
DeleteAh, back to the old routine, as though you'd never been away. Now they can start taking you for granted again.
DeleteBack down to earth with a bump. So it is.
ReplyDeleteJesus Christ, man, don't tell Americans they have a "foreign accent" -- they'll never believe you!
ReplyDeleteSo funny !
Delete@debra - bwhahahahahaha!
DeleteThe New York accent? That is soooooncool and sooo different to mainland usa
DeleteThat's not an accent. It's just that the rest of the country sound like hicks.
DeleteIt's always slightly depressing coming home ... especially you have to slum it with the great unwashed 😉
ReplyDeleteIf The Prof dislikes his home region so much he should aim to get his next academic post in New York City. (I could have put this point differently!)
ReplyDeleteOh well as soon as you arrive indoors put the kettle on and have a cuppa put your feet up. Say "It's good to be home" fifty times or a thousand times until you forget all abouthe ummmm... Forgotten about it already.
ReplyDelete...andd the dirt that seems caked to every pore tho you took a shower before you got on the plane or train.
ReplyDeleteTake heart, John. You are the foreign accent.
ReplyDeleteWhat hotel did you stay in and would you recommend. And any recipe for Espresso cocktail. Thanks. Glad you got home safe. Long haul is awful. Hope you've had a nice hot bath.
ReplyDeleteWe stayed at the hotel boutique at Grand Central on 45 th and Lexington ...it's the first " boutique " hotel for us and it was clean and tidy ...we do miss the 1980s brass of the New York Helmsley on 42nd street
DeleteWelcome home we enjoyed your trip!! Could the Prof be poached to do important research at some illustrious US hub of academia I am sure lots of us would volunteer to dog and cat sit if it was a part time appointment! A (non academic) mate of mine was virtually commuting between the UK and Delhi a year or two back the world is such a small place. Winnie and Albert could skype the pair of you!!
ReplyDeleteDull and boring is all a matter of what you are used to John. I have lived in the US since 1991 and recently had a seven year span when I didn't return to the UK. When I eventually visited I was amazed by how green everything looked, familiar but different, an exotic destination. The other peculiarity was that there I was, Lancashire born, with a strong Lancs accent, walking around Lancashire but not knowing a lot of things relevant to everyday life. Like Rip Van Winkle waking up and finding that the world had moved on. When I lived in England nobody said they were "gutted", credit cards didn't have chips, the money looked different, the Two Ronnies were still making Christmas specials. Lots of little changes that you don't live there for a long time.
ReplyDeleteWe lived in Argentina for 7 years with no visits back to NY and when we did return I was disappointed that everything looked the same.
DeleteNow I appreciate the fact that NYC is constantly changing but stays the same.
Coming home can definitely be a letdown, until you get settled in once again. Did you take lots of pictures? (aside from the selfies!)
ReplyDeleteI really didn't want to come back from our week in Menorca. The Spanish are so attractive and the island so pretty. We talked about the dream of a holiday home.The gatherings at the airport for UK flights was depressing.
ReplyDeleteThen we arrived home to four cats, one big dog, my lovely garden, our lovely village and I thought , " What would I do with a holiday home ?"
Welcome home xx
How's your American accent? I'll bet you and the Prof tried to compete for the best American sounding speech?
ReplyDeleteWho won?
I am always pleased to get back and appreciate things a little more for it. Then I compare the positive things about other places to the negative things here. Why, for instance, does every other country seem to have super-fast optic fibre as standard and we don't? Could it be to do with the way we are still selling off our assets for short-term gain? That's what I find dull and boring about the UK, not the green hills.
ReplyDeleteWhat a nasty thing to say!
ReplyDeleteAnd I see you didn't have the guts to sign your snippy comment .coward.
I thanked my husband for the holiday as he paid for it .
I collected the dogs and prepared dinner last night as he is now facing a nine hour day at work today ( Wednesday)
Your comment about the great unwashed is however probably very true.
Next time if you have something to say. Own it!
Don't hide like a coward