On the Toilet


Yesterday sailor John from next door came around to put up the new kitchen lights.
I cannot be trusted with anything electric owing to DIY incompetence and the fact that I am colour blind.
John wouldn't accept any payment for the work so I had to resort to gift buying. I hope he liked the two steaks and bottle of port I left for him.....it was a job well done.
I am presently typing this on the loo. I need to start painting the kitchen ceiling and I know I am putting off the job.
I hate painting.....and sitting on the loo seems much more fun......having said that, I've sat here too long now and have a large pressure  red ring circling my buttocks..
Too much info, I hear you all say
The kitchen floor arrives on Friday and the new tiles will be coming with the tiler on Monday so it hands to the pumps me hearties!
The kitchen should be finished totally by Tuesday!
Now I had to smile on Sunday when I passed the Church door whilst on a walk with the dogs. Church service had just finished and the vicar was sat on the stone seat in the porch surrounded by the village ladies who were all eagerly looking at photos of his new kitchen on his mobile phone , oohing and arrrghing as if they had seen a baby.
Mind you having a new kitchen is just like having your first baby
You are totally scared that you'll break something when it arrives

43 comments:

  1. typing whilst on the loo...hee hee hee!

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    1. Most unhygienic but we should remind ourselves that the author of this blog is after all Welsh. One has to make allowances for such behaviour.

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    2. I know nothing of the Welsh but have noticed nurses, understandably, become very matter of fact about body bits and excretions.

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  2. Anonymous12:05 pm

    I hope that is not your lighting arrangement.

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  3. I came over here with some trepidation .... as you would with any post entitle 'On the Toilet'.

    'Oh gosh ...' I was thinking as the computer loaded up your blog '... I hope there aren't any photos'.

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  4. I am banned from DIY plumbing repairs for life, the house was never quite the same after that one little "issue."

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    1. Yes ! The Prof only ever has done one JOB of DIY at home....and best not repeat what happened ..suffice to say the window blind was binned

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  5. Will you be painting the ceiling baby blue? Also will there be a naming competition for your new kitchen? I would like to suggest Annwn - the "otherworld" of Welsh mythology.

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  6. I was imagining a peaceful home with a pretty nice new bathroom then the words "sitting on the toilet " sort of spoiled the picture.

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  7. We haven't had a post from the loo for a long time, John! At least that we know of . . . .

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    1. I burnt my arse with. Bleach last time

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  8. Ahem - shouldn't you have painted the ceiling before putting up the new lights?

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  9. Our 'new' kitchen is already being treated with contempt; it doesn't take long.

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  10. I can't wait to see this finished project. I'm green with envy over here but truly excited for you.

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  11. Next week you can sit with admirers (not on the loo) while they oooh and aaaah over YOUR new kitchen. Don't worry. You won't break anything.

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  12. But at least you don't have to send it to college!

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    1. But will it look after us in our dotage?

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    2. No, but then neither do children these days :)

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  13. I would have painted the ceiling first. Painting around light fixtures is the pits. But, it's lookin' good.

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  14. When I saw this post titled, I thought we may hear about a fart problem. I'm getting as excited as you for the before and after pictures.

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    1. Well, I've just painted the ceiling. Now for the skirting boards!!

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  15. Isn't it amazing how the bathroom becomes such a place of solitude? I always loved reading on the toilet and I have no shame.
    I want all sorts of photos of the kitchen when complete. That includes shots with natural light and the lights on and nighttime...

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    1. When the Prof is home I always lock the door. Today 4 pairs of eyes were watching every move

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  16. For some odd reason, my foot falls asleep if I sit on it too long.

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    1. You are compressing your lower back nerves

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  17. We gutted and redid our main bath. That was just like having a baby. The kitchen work here was just superficial...counters, glass doors, bright lighting, and a nice tile floor.

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  18. I like the analogy, too!

    And being colour-blind is definitely a handicap when it comes to electrical work!

    It's almost as exciting to see your kitchen as to have one done myself, and far less frustrating.

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  19. Painting the ceiling - what a horrible job. Guaranteed to wreck your neck. I always get a painter in to do ceilings.

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    1. I've got Dalmatian spots of pain on my specs

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  20. "You are totally scared you'll break something when it arrives" .... it leaks at both ends and you can't find the instruction book..... there doesn't seem to be a guarantee .... and there's NO WAY you can repackage it and Return To Sender .... and you love it to bits anyway!! Think I've said enough!

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  21. As always, thanks for sharing (and I do NOT mean that sincerely). But I do love those lights.

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  22. Thanks for sparing us any details, John!!
    Me too looking forward to pics of new kitchen!


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I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes