I've lost followers when I questioned the sanity of gun ownership in the US
I've lost followers when I've slagged off Donald Trump
And I think I've lost at least one follower when I waxed too lyrically about Chris Pratt's biceps once
But today is the first time Ive lost a follower because I shared the fact that the Prof once tapped Winnie's Vulva with a hand knitted slipper
I'm surrounded by madness!
" WHATEVER!!!!!!"
I've lost followers when I've slagged off Donald Trump
And I think I've lost at least one follower when I waxed too lyrically about Chris Pratt's biceps once
But today is the first time Ive lost a follower because I shared the fact that the Prof once tapped Winnie's Vulva with a hand knitted slipper
I'm surrounded by madness!
" WHATEVER!!!!!!"
Ah' there is no accounting for folks is there ?
ReplyDeletepeople are all so fucking sensitive about the wrong things!
ReplyDeleteLet's not discuss gun ownership, tho.
ReplyDeletelizzy
I wasnt
DeleteAll you ever wanted was over a thousand, and there you have it. Plenty of wiggle room to trash the cheeto and guns, plus the occasional lighthearted dog/husband bash.
ReplyDeleteI think I remember when John was so wanting 600 followers! Lookit him now!
DeleteAnd those of us who are left are the only ones who matter!
ReplyDeletefuck 'em!
ReplyDeleteI feel the vapors coming on... oh lordy me
DeleteRefining your reader base.
ReplyDeleteThat is pretty pathetic! Their problem John, not yours!
ReplyDeleteHow do I follow - I don't find anything you say offensive - to me it is all delivered with the right tone. Be it about GUNS, TRUMP or Winnie and her delites.
ReplyDeleteJust read and laugh and cry a little sometimes that's all that matters xx
DeleteWell, the number of followers you have would populate a good size village, so there's bound to be a few idiots in the village.....
ReplyDeleteAs my motto....get mad or get glad.
ReplyDeleteOne never knows what will send someone packing...even a fart in the wrong direction will too probably.
Deletegive it a week and she'll be back
ReplyDeleteKeep out the riff raff!
ReplyDeleteBe like me, figure that they just died.
ReplyDeletewahahahahahahaha
DeleteI actually laughed out loud. Thank you for that!
DeleteIn addition, you have just lost this "follower" because of inaccurate punctuation.
ReplyDeleteHaters goin' to hate.
ReplyDeletecheers, parsnip and mandibles
I am truly surprised that gun-toting Trump fans followed you in the first place.
ReplyDeleteSome folk will fight in an empty room. As you say... whatever! Carry on you are loved.
ReplyDeleteAnd really,I can't see how there can be too much waxing lyrical about Chris Pratt's biceps. x
"Some folk will fight in an empty room." I love that line.
DeleteLike guns, hate Trump, raised an eyebrow in confusion at the slipper situation. Honestly John I always find you amusing and delightful and right on point. It's like 1% of the commenters that give me an eye twitch.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing to me how many people actively comment on your posts, and it seems we are an opinionated bunch. There's no way to please everyone. Keep saying honest and interesting things, as you do, and let the chips fall where they may...
ReplyDeletewell said.
DeleteGun ownership HAS gotten insane, here. Donald Trump IS a horses behind, who can really deny that? All the rest, so what? It’s your blog....
ReplyDeleteDebbie
Never fear . . .
ReplyDeleteYou have more followers than most of the people I follow.
Plus more than I will EVER have . . ,
Some people are just too uptight and too easily offended to enjoy your blog. Don't let it bother you. What she found intolerable I found to be strangely erotic. May have to wake my husband. ;)
ReplyDeleteafter that weird comment i'll have to un-follow Going Gently
DeleteYou probably gained a few with those mentions.
ReplyDeleteJust don't slag-off Roast Chicken, or you'll lose another one!
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahaha. Good fricken riddance!!!! Slag, comment and question on.
ReplyDeleteHenceforth , this saga will be known as "vulvagate
ReplyDeleteMy vote for best response.
DeleteTraveller
Cherrrching
DeleteHahaha!! Love it
DeleteJo in Auckland, NZ
Vulva with a big v. Tut tut John. I am still reading your blog. Love it. Is the hand knitted sock relevant?
ReplyDeleteWell just joined followers, so made up the loss of one! Our Lucy (gorgeous spaniel) always throws herself on her back for tummy rub - shameless hussy ;)
ReplyDeleteAh, but you offended Winnie's legion of fans, John, righteous indignation all around. Perhaps you should have kept that to yourself ! On the other hand, it begs the question - would the Prof have liked Winnie to do something similar to him.....?
ReplyDeleteYour Blog. My first read every morning x
ReplyDeleteI have followed you for years because of who you are and your ideals! No worries of the haters, btw, did you get the tiles in yet?
ReplyDeleteHi Kevin,
DeleteThe new tiles are coming Monday with the tiler. The new floor goes in on Friday , I am painting today!
If you don't write exactly what you want you lose what you started out when you first blogged....your authentic voice. My mantra is "my blog my rules". People come and go...that's human nature.
ReplyDeleteArilx
You follow who is following you? And who is unfollowing you? Always on the pulse? Why? To me that's a crazy waste of time.
ReplyDeleteI loyally read a number of blogs (one self obsessed blogger in particular knows more about how often I log on to them than I do) but I don't "subscribe" to anyone. Fine difference.
Anyway, my dear John, I am sure you have "unfollowed" other bloggers. Leave them sitting on the naughty step that the British used to be so fond of. It happens. Wouldn't read too much into it.
How can you be sure of the Vulva lady's reason for unsubscribing? Be that as it may, fact is, your Winnie "jokes" are often borderline. Taste doesn't enter the equation. Maybe it shows, that despite you having a husband, you are a bloke after all. Robust "humour" and all that (though I know plenty of straight men who'd question the public fun you make of an old bitch). For a woman, or at least this woman? Hmm ... takes an odd leap of a couple of synapses to have a gay guy make crude jokes about a female's sexuality - be she canine or otherwise, and not feel vaguely alienated.
Anyway, think of Winnie and her dignity. Imagine she took revenge and published her own observations on your lust's outlets, never mind slippers.
U
Well said.
DeleteSome people are absurdly coy about anything sexual and anything they deem to be "inappropriate" for the public domain. They should catch themselves on, as we say here in Northern Ireland.
ReplyDeleteI can forgive you everything except your infatuation with Russell Crowe.
ReplyDeleteOh you of the million plus! You won’t lose me. Just keep the Prof away from my vulva... oh, never mind.
ReplyDeleteSometimes people delete their profiles and it looks like you've lost a follower. It's not always all about you.... or me, come to that.
ReplyDeleteSx
Oh no she told me she was going and why!
DeleteOh! Well... I reckon she'll sneak back now and then to read the stuff she does like :-)
DeleteSx
I lost a friend (actually a total stranger) on FB once because the only way I could get a rat out of my wall was to stab it with a barbecue fork. she totally mistook my complete freak out at killing the rat for pleasure (?). go figure. but I wasn't about to let a nest of baby rats (said impaled rat was female) grow up in my walls.
ReplyDeleteI apologize, but I chuckled at barbecue fork. I figure you just grabbed whatever was handy, but the visual is darkly delightful.
DeleteAnd I understand freaking out and needing to get the rat out of the house and to be clear I am not advocating for people to go stabbing things either. :)
You be you, John. That's always the best.
ReplyDeleteWe Americans are a fickle bunch. Some of us think owning a sub-machine gun is a God-given right while others think all guns should be surrendered and melted down into a non-judgemental statue of nothing. Some of us preach that it's a mortal sin to abort a fetus, and are willing to murder abortion doctors to prove it. The one thing Americans have in common is that we all believe in freedom of speech....as long as YOUR opinion is the same as mine. Yeah, fickle.
ReplyDeleteGreat explanation Catrina.
DeleteJo in Auckland, NZ
You'd think you would gain followers due to the proper use of the term vulva. Pity the fools...
ReplyDeleteLaughter is a healer. You heal me. Right.
ReplyDeleteI'm still here.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy your madness,your sanity,
your compassion, your silly times,
your dogs, your cat, your husband,
your neighbors, your village,
and your devotion to all of us
who still follow you.
It would take a lot more than that to get rid of me. Even if I don't comment much I do read and enjoy your blog.
ReplyDeleteWell I still read you regularly, although I have never followed anyone, but I stopped commenting a long time ago after you objected to one of my possibly slightly critical, probably highly witty, but certainly not abusive, comments by telling me to "Fuck off" (and that coming from you on a blog where at the bottom of the comment box you say "Please don't be abusive", which I found rather contradictory). Anyway, that is why I don't comment any more... Oh... what have I just done? Ah well, forgive the little slip and I will "Fuck off" again. Keep writing.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous? What was your name?
Delete..."slightly critical, probably highly witty, but certainly not abusive, comments "
DeleteI seldom tell anyone to fuck off unless I feel it warranted
Please can someone tell me who has bought a Volvo?
ReplyDeleteWhat the??? Pray tell how do you know you have lost a "follower"...and why the feck are they all so narrow minded...
ReplyDeleteJo in Auckland, NZ