Even though there is a significant " stranger" population in the village now, what with the noticeable increase of rental properties, the news of the popular Mr Lewis' death still raced through the village telegraph yesterday morning.
I was stopped three times when out with the old dogs, with old Stan finally summing up what most people were thinking, with his comment of " He suffered his long illness with bravery"
Mr Lewis had been unwell for many years.
I nursed Mr Lewis fairly recently.
We thought he was dying then, but he rallied round when a weaker man would have succumbed to a tired and brittle body and I remember talking to him about the forthcoming Flower Show and joking with him about a " difficult" village character we both knew.
It was a gentle conversation which ended with me asking if he was frightened and I remember that he smiled and said " Not really............I have my family"
It was a reference to a loving family that was always there for him.
They cushioned his fear.
I've just realised that apart from the deaths of my own loved ones, those days of nursing someone who is passing away, are now over.
I must have done it a hundred times in my nursing career, and the whole process, from start to finish, has been a privilege to be a part of.
But I am now happy it is now something I used to do.
I was stopped three times when out with the old dogs, with old Stan finally summing up what most people were thinking, with his comment of " He suffered his long illness with bravery"
Mr Lewis had been unwell for many years.
I nursed Mr Lewis fairly recently.
We thought he was dying then, but he rallied round when a weaker man would have succumbed to a tired and brittle body and I remember talking to him about the forthcoming Flower Show and joking with him about a " difficult" village character we both knew.
It was a gentle conversation which ended with me asking if he was frightened and I remember that he smiled and said " Not really............I have my family"
It was a reference to a loving family that was always there for him.
They cushioned his fear.
I've just realised that apart from the deaths of my own loved ones, those days of nursing someone who is passing away, are now over.
I must have done it a hundred times in my nursing career, and the whole process, from start to finish, has been a privilege to be a part of.
But I am now happy it is now something I used to do.
That work would certainly be heavy on the heart...I couldn't do it. So grateful for those of you who can and do hold us all up.
ReplyDeleteNursing sick and dying people must put a strain on your own personal well being. I should think only a handful of people are up to the job. RIP Mr Lewis.
ReplyDeleteThere will always be a calling for you kind heart and gentle ways.
ReplyDelete"Gentle ways", Travel? Yes, sure. Till John is faced with two seven year olds in some trolleys and, as he so kindly pointed out their, the "great unwashed", "fat upper arms", "chav" mothers of the aforementioned. He sure showed them what a kind heart he is, what gentle ways, not to say diplomatic ones, he employs.
DeleteU
Oh do shut up Ursula ..
DeleteIm not a saint ursula, never pretended to be one either..im also happy to be generally positive and not a particulary bitter old trout
DeleteUrsula has a point
DeleteGosh that Ursula person likes having a niggle doesn't she.
DeleteHard to see why on this pleasant blog - unless there's a lot of pent up unhappiness in her that can safely (for her) be aimed at others. I mean it's not as if she's making a spectacle of herself by abusing the nearest librarian or bus driver in person. So safer for her but unpleasant all the same.
Cheers Marie
I find it facinating that certain people see things either black or white...most of us live in a grey world where sometimes we are virtuous and the next judgemental. I, like all here am an adult. I neither want or need someone to point out my bad points, i have enough self awareness to recognise them and am old enough to cope with what I see.
DeleteI neither pretend or wantto be mother Theresa, if i did them why would i bother sharing my darker irritations with bad mothers, badly behavioured children and wayward hay makers. ?
I am human like everyone else....but obviously ursula has a need to point out the negatives in order to make a point or to make me out a liar or a fool. (I am neither btw)
In actual fact i think she just enjoys conflict and the unrest it causes.
I write a blog and open myself up for discussion because i want to, so i guess there are some that will choose to disagree with my words and actions.....i have no problems with that.. But please i am quite capable of describing myself without editorialisation from others....
Anonymous Marie, please do tend to your own happiness before speculating on mine. Even better, employ some manners and address me direct rather than talking about "that Ursula person".
DeleteAnd you are right, I have never abused anyone. However, I have approached many a stranger whose behaviour (in public) leaving something to be desired, sometimes even a danger to themselves, without resorting to posturing. To my son's amazement no one has yet punched me in the face - not even a "chav". Yes, such are my powers of charm, calm and courtesy. So much more effective.
Anyway, should you, Marie, ever find yourself in position of desperately attempting to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear please do let me know.
U
This blog entry is about death and my reactions to it. It is not a place to debate my shortcommings and my bad reactions to rude fat armed women who dont know how to parent ( please debate THAT in yesterday's blog entry)
DeleteIt is not a place for hijacking subjects and arguing please do that on your own blog.
Now that is enough for today.... ursula you made you point that I am not the angel of mercy that you think I pretend to be.
Be happy with that.
Ursla, there is also something to be said for, in polite conversation, not saying anything if you don't have something nice to say. I believe that is also part of employing some manners.
DeleteI think the same could also be said about correcting a stranger's behavior in public which I'm sure most experts on manners would consider horrifying.
I hear you, John. You and I go back many years. You know I am more than well disposed towards you. I find you amusing, refreshing, endearing and, sometimes, well ... sometimes, as in any relation/friendship we don't see eye to eye. Nothing wrong with that. So some of your readers' attempts at painting me as some sort of ogre do, I am afraid, not only miss the point they show them as rather inept at human discourse.
DeleteI do not have "a need to point out the negatives" but, John, if and when they offer themselves up on a silver platter and everyone skirts around an issue, then, yes, I will point to holes in the fabric.
I never made you "out a liar or a fool". Someone else attempted the former and, unless my memory serves me wrong, I was the first to put them right.
Do I "enjoy" as you claim "conflict and the unrest it causes"? I don't enjoy it, neither do I shy away from conflict and/or unrest. As long as it's well argued and doesn't resort to personal insults (though I do know that, at times, the border between the two can appear somewhat fudged).
You say "I write a blog and open myself up for discussion because I want to, so I guess there are some that will choose to disagree with my words and actions.....I have no problems with that.." My dear John, you DO appear to have problems with that. Maybe best, and I nearly did so in the wake of yesterday's and today's postings of yours, to just say nothing at all. Mind you, and please do think about it, would you really rather never be challenged, never be made aware of another's point of view (without taking it necessarily as a criticism) or would you rather stay alive, stimulated? I myself prefer being part of a mountain river than a stagnant pond.
U
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DeletePass the valium
DeleteGood heavens, my dear host, why don't block this silly, pretentious, self-righteous, and most deeply uninteresting cow?
DeleteSecond vote.
DeleteI think you should run a poll of your readers about banning and blocking the unpleasant Ursula. She never has a good thing to say and impacts on my enjoyment of your blog.
DeleteShe needs help; poor soul.
DeleteLets forget about everything now please
DeleteI was with both my parents when they passed away. It was a privilege and the last gift i could give them. They died 10 days apart in sept of 2005. I have been caring for a sister who is mentally challenged. I hope i can be there for her. But i am 10 years older. I asked if she was afraid one day...her answer is "you cant fight God or Mother Nature..and i know you love me"
ReplyDeleteMy friend nursed in a Hospice but could only do it for shortish periods as it took it's toll a bit. You have done your bit ( and, what a wonderful bit it was ) and now it's time for pastures new !!! Thank goodness there are people like you and my friend. XXXX
ReplyDeleteYes, I can see that there is only so long that one can do this and then hand the baton on to someone else.
ReplyDeleteGrateful for those who do it and do it well. I learned much from a dear lady who was gifted in being present for the dying.
ReplyDeleteMy father passed away after a 22 year battle with Parkinson's and it truly was a battle. He showed only true grace as his life winded down. My sisters and I spent his last 5 days with him and I was so grateful for the loving and gentle care that the nurses and aids gave him. I have great respect for those whose give hospice care.
ReplyDeleteJohn ... maybe it was something you were meant to do.......Hugs! deb
ReplyDeleteThose who do hospice care are special angels.
ReplyDeleteEnough is enough, yes?
ReplyDeleteJohn, you are such a special person - we who follow you in what we hope you realize is a respectful, friendly way, are so glad to know you via your blog.
ReplyDeleteR.I.P. Mr. Lewis. My condolences to his family whom I'm glad were there for him, as were you when needed.
I sincerely hope that the "difficult" village character you chatted about was not the legendary Mrs Trellis. I have put some trellis up in our garden to honour her.
ReplyDeleteHaving a son who is a nurse I know the toll it takes. Dealing with sick and dying people takes a certain kind of person. I for one appreciate what you have given over the years.
ReplyDeleteBriony
x
I like his reference to his family. Indeed, without a loving family, many would have left this world quite early.
ReplyDeleteIn China, families that don't take care of their sick and elderly get fined. Not sure that's entirely correct (I read about it in an article) but it makes some sense. The state will take care of all those who don't have a family at all.
It's got to be difficult, but on the other hand, it's a vital task and not one that many people could do responsibly or well.
ReplyDeleteNow that your nursing career has come to an end - what will your new career be? I know you couldn't just sit around the house eating scotch eggs and farting. Have you considered cottage decorating or something along that line. Something happier than helping people pass away ...
ReplyDeletesorry to hear about a villager passing.
ReplyDeleteFOAD to any and all trolls.
My excuse is I have an eclipse-hoohaw induced migraine, but when I read the post earlier I thought "Mr Lewis" was the comedian who passed away this past weekend, Jerry Lewis. And I thought, geez, I didn't know Jerry Lewis was Welsh.
ReplyDeleteJohn I spent 20 years nursing in a major cancer hospital. I found caring for those who had not made their peace with life much more difficult than those who were ready. Not giving up mind you but ready. Caring for them was a gift they gave me.
ReplyDeletemy mother once she retired from nursing went to work nights at an old folks complex, and worked till she was 70 , she was often older than the poor old dears she was caring for and would happily at 83 go back to work now. shes as fit as a flea and still a disagreeable old swine pickled in red wine
ReplyDeleteI don't know if my mental health could have survived your career.
ReplyDeleteI can identify with your words . . .
ReplyDelete"something I used to do"
Thank goodness there was you . . . by bedside, after bedside . . .
(Seems like with all the discourse above . . . the "Mr Lewis died" may have missed their heart.)