It's 07.45 and I have just about finished another litre of liquid laxative.
We don't have the luxury of two bathrooms, and so The Prof has had strict instructions to "leave the door unlocked"
Strangely I don't feel hungry, even though I last ate something early yesterday afternoon.
Perhaps there's something in this fasting thing?
I've just fed and watered the field animals , stopping only briefly by the gate to let out a sudden and worrying fart ( no follow through thank the lord) and now, I am safely ensconced on the loo merrily passing floods of effluent with all of the talent of a North Sea sewage pipe outside Hull.
I was going to write a post on how the bastard magpies have nicked all yesterday's eggs from the collection bowl I left on the garden wall, smashing them them all over the lane.
But I can't be arsed
We don't have the luxury of two bathrooms, and so The Prof has had strict instructions to "leave the door unlocked"
Strangely I don't feel hungry, even though I last ate something early yesterday afternoon.
Perhaps there's something in this fasting thing?
I've just fed and watered the field animals , stopping only briefly by the gate to let out a sudden and worrying fart ( no follow through thank the lord) and now, I am safely ensconced on the loo merrily passing floods of effluent with all of the talent of a North Sea sewage pipe outside Hull.
I was going to write a post on how the bastard magpies have nicked all yesterday's eggs from the collection bowl I left on the garden wall, smashing them them all over the lane.
But I can't be arsed
I've suddenly and inexplicably lost my appetite for breakfast.....
ReplyDeletePurging is good for the soul, and it cleanses the conscience - so I've heard.
ReplyDeleteThe worst is almost over. Chins up!
(That function is Hull's saving grace.)
I was going to have a spinach and apple smoothie for breakfast, but not anymore!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAlmost over John, and all that weight you'll have lost is a bonus too!
Good luck. X
I'm surprised there's no accompanying video!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteForecast for today is for storms with thunder in certain parts. The perfect cover for you!
ReplyDeleteOh Shit!
ReplyDeleteDo you actually write your blog sitting on the loo? Makes a change from reading the newspaper I suppose.
ReplyDeletehang in there, john; almost over!
ReplyDeleteStay strong, everything comes out fine in the end,
ReplyDeleteThis:
ReplyDelete"no follow through thank the lord."
Will have me giggling all day.
The worrying thing is that you seem to be enjoying this preliminary procedure John ?!!!!!!!! haha
ReplyDeleteHope all goes well today ..... I shall be thinking of you. XXXX
Woosh!
ReplyDeleteIt's 8 a.m. in Wisconsin, so I'm hoping your ordeal is over. I sympathize, but your recent posts have had me belly-laughing and imitating the Prof's raspberries in imagining the way he was teasing you. Oh, such fun for a couple of us at least!
ReplyDeleteMay all go well and your insides be as lovely as a newborn chick.
ReplyDeleteI've had both versions, with and without the miracle drug injected directly into your vein. Go for the drugs anyday!!!! Take a cab, walk home if you must, but take the drugs! My husbear is always laughing when I regain my full consciousness. He never tells me why, but it has something to do with what I say in the time between waking up and coming out of the drug haze. Take the drugs!!!!
ReplyDeleteMy sister in law had her first one earlier this year. Before going under, she told the doctor he was about to go where no man had gone before. That is a claim I could never make.
I try to read your blog more or less faithfully, but this post is definitely T.M.I.
ReplyDeleteI hope it all went well .... and am I the only person who finds the thought of you writing your posts while sat on the toilet a bit strange.
ReplyDeleteOnce Lovely Hubby was chatting to his old building company foreman at the end of a long days work. We were in Reading and the foreman in Barrow in Furness, somehow or other it came out that they were both sat in their respective baths whilst on the phone to each other ... it just seemed very weird and a bit personal ;-)
Hope everything comes out ok...oh wait, it already did!. Good luck your procedure. Hope things go well.
ReplyDeleteI`m almost a little jealous, a bloody good clear out would do me the world of good.
ReplyDeleteI`m almost a little jealous, a bloody good clear out would do me the world of good.
ReplyDeleteMIss out one B and one L in your name, Margo, and this would be an even more appropriate comment.
DeleteHope all goes well John Gray, I used to live in Canada and at my last Colonoscopy they gave you a copy of the report with photos of your innards !!! I must look it out and send you a copy !!! xxxx I do not mean you innards, they were, my innards ;)
ReplyDeleteMagpies? Sounds like you've already been arsed.
ReplyDeleteTonight you will be relaxed and loving it.
ReplyDeleteBut (butt?) if all is well you have to go through this only every 5 years or so.
ReplyDeleteAt least you are not kneeling and talking to the great white telephone gods: Hughie and Ralph. Hope you get better soon John.
ReplyDelete