With yesterdays chatter about tombstones, I thought I would share with you mine.......I'm not planning to pop off this mortal coil too soon, but it's always best to be prepared.....
What's your graveyard epitaph ? I'd be interested to know
Here lies
John Gray
Formally of Bwthyn Y Llan , Trelawnyd
Friend, Brother, Husband
Blogger, Nurse
and fabulous Dog Owner
" I 'll admit I may have seen better days
But I'm still not to be had for the price of a cocktail
Like a salted peanut"
and fabulous Dog Owner
" I 'll admit I may have seen better days
But I'm still not to be had for the price of a cocktail
Like a salted peanut"
Formerly not formally?
ReplyDeleteDammm auto correct!
DeleteDamn, not Dammm?
DeleteShouldn't auto-correct be hyphenated?
DeleteDont set the old fart off
DeleteAnd you are smart arse nickolas
DeleteNicholas, not Nickolas?
DeleteIsn't there a hyphen in 'smart-arse'?
DeleteNo plans on a stone.
ReplyDeleteJust leaving cash for a piss up and pizza/Chinese food. Gift cards to posh shops for a few good friends (already bought and in an envelope)
Scatter my ashes, let me run free, and braless
I love the idea Of gift cards... Trouble is, don't they come with an end date? I may have to buy some and pop £20 notes in.
DeleteMine will have one statement " See you soon"
ReplyDeleteI hope to have an eco funeral. No headstone, no coffin. I would like to feed a tree.
ReplyDeleteMe too.
DeleteEC,
Deletesome people are doing lovely natural fibre shrouds with their eco funerals. I like that idea.
kylie: That would be lovely.
DeleteThis is exactly what I have in mind as well. Trouble is, it's so darned expensive, even without any funeral, as I intend. There'd be no one there anyway, so why bother?
DeleteI think a cremation only costs a few hundred pounds. Just forget all the other bells and whistles.
DeleteSilly I know, Nick, but I can't get me head around being shoved into a furnace - just in case. Would rather decompose in gradual 'natural' style rather than the process being chivvied along.
DeleteCremation ony funerals cost around £1300. I paid for one last year. They just collect your body, have you cremated and either ship the ashes back to whoever (at a cost) or scatter them for you. It is the way I shall go too. Then my good friends and loved ones can go and scatter me somewhere and have a nice meal afterwards.
DeleteNo stone, cremated and strewn.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't mind if they use my body in a university hospital but by then there will probably be nothing left that they can use so just throw me in the ocean.
ReplyDeleteCremation, the family tradition, for me. But if I were to have a headstone it might read 'I tried'.
ReplyDelete"Kind soul".
ReplyDeleteNot original but mine is...
ReplyDeleteI told you I was sick.
The fave one I have come across is this one: "She never moved the stars from their courses, but she loved a good man & she rode good horses."
ReplyDeleteWe're not having headstones or funerals. We're just having our ashes scattered at our favorite beach with those of our dogs.
I'll be cremated, so no headstone.
ReplyDeleteIf there was one it would probably read something like: "He was born, he sort of coped, then he died."
'She meant well'.
ReplyDelete"Fabulous dog owner" or "Owner of fabulous dogs"?
ReplyDelete(Not asked to grammar pick, genuinely wish to clarify)
The first!
Delete"Her subscription ran out"
ReplyDeleteNice one!
DeleteHey ho...
ReplyDelete"I don't want a return ticket."
ReplyDeleteI love your grave epitaph! Mine would be:
ReplyDeleteShe ran out of blogs........
He played the joker, when once he held the ace.
ReplyDeleteAs Frida Kahlo allegedly stated on her death bed " I wish never to return ".
ReplyDeleteIs that a stream of bird crap on Mr. Oh No's grave marker or part of the joke? I'd like to be cremated but a memorial plaque in the family bone yard!
ReplyDeleteBody off to teaching hospital. Epitaph best ever 'I told you I was sick, or was it ill', Spike Milligan.
ReplyDeleteHere lie
ReplyDeleteThe mortal remains of
YORKSHIRE PUDDING
Returning to earth
Necrophiles keep off!
*sniggering*
Delete'His debts died with him'.
ReplyDeleteWe're going to be cremated and our ashes scattered in a river in Lancashire 😊
ReplyDeleteShe was a nice lady!
ReplyDeleteIn reality, cremated and scattered by Buttermere in the Lakes.
For all the oseopaths out there: "She had a deep lordosis." (Said by every single osteopath I've seen in an admiring/shocked tone.)
ReplyDeleteMy tombstone would read "Ha ha, fooled you, I was cremated."
ReplyDelete"The Final Adventure"
ReplyDeleteperfect...................
ReplyDeleteI love that auto-correct error! Nothing formal about you, is there?!? I can't even imagine what I would want mine to say. Mitchell is Moving might not be appropriate... then again...
ReplyDeleteWTF!!!
ReplyDeleteGONE....Traveling
ReplyDeleteI have just stumbled across your blog and I am enchanted.
ReplyDeleteYou have taste jody welcome!
DeleteYour enchantment won't last :-) Then you will join the rest of us chuckling and cringing in equal nmeasures
DeleteAs usual the replies are better than the original post
ReplyDeleteIt wouldn't take much to improve on dog poo and chicken fat, ha ha.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteBut the responses aren't, no matter how hard you try to reply to all comments.
DeleteI'll just have to time it so that I'm off PDQ in the Yellow bin bag.
ReplyDeleteI want this is tiny writing; As I look down from my heavenly rest, I think " Oi you twat, Get off my chest!".
ReplyDeleteI actually want cremating, with my remains sneaked into the bacon bits at a restaurant salad bar.
You have inspired me, John.
ReplyDeleteI've always wanted "And if thou shalt, remember. And if thou shalt, forget". Seems to sum up my life pretty well.
But now, reading yours, I want it to be "Fasten my safety belt, it's going to be a bumpy ride".
Or better yet...."Here lies carlnepa, a graduate of the Copacabana school of acting".
Yo pretendo cremarme, pero tal vez el epitafio podrÃa ser:
ReplyDelete"Aquà yace Maru, una habitante rara en un planeta extraño del cual nunca se sintió parte"
One of my favourite authors ( you would love him, John, he writes the most absurd stories) Fritiof Nilsson Piraten has got these lines on his tombstone: "Underneath here lies the ashes of a man who used to postpone everything to the next day. Eventually he improved on his last day and died for real the 31th of january 1972" As for my own, my family have their free choice, I won't interfere....
ReplyDeleteI like it John! I've just had to make the decisions for my brother headstone that passed away last year. It's hard because you want it to say who they are in as few words as possible. This is why I've decided to not have one. I want to be cremated and buried in an eco-forest under a tree. There's a place nearby that will even allow your pets ashes to be spread around you. How's that?? ...And no, I'm not kidding.
ReplyDeleteSimple minds... don't you forget about me.
ReplyDeleteDuring my dramatic moments I claim that my headstone should read: "The rugged road is at its end. The cart is broken all to pieces." It's almost a quote from Charles Dickens; I just changed it a little bit. In reality, though, I want to be cremated. I told my husband to take a trip to the sea and scatter my ashes in the water. He, on the other hand, wants an earth burial in his hometown.
ReplyDeleteI want to be cremated and my ashes spread at Point Addis, my favourite beach. No, not the nudie section. 'Death ends a life but does not end a relationship, which struggles on in the survivors mind toward some resolution it may never find.'
ReplyDeleteMine will read here lies Dawn she lived it loud and proud.
ReplyDeleteMy husband is going through the curtains to the sound of you'll never walk alone wearing full Liverpool strip (he's an Everton fan) coz you gotta have a laugh to the very end.
ReplyDeleteHa ha, love it.
DeleteJust want to be wrapped in a shroud with an acorn. I think it would be lovely to live on as a stately oak tree!
ReplyDeleteI like you epitaph! I think my quote would be that Wendell Barry line, "Be joyful, though you have considered all the facts."
ReplyDeleteNice. Me? I'm going to be cremated and have my ashes shot out into space.
ReplyDeleteI want to be buried at sea, which means they'll cremate me, unless we're more than three miles offshore (hmm, wonder if we'll have switched to metric by then).
ReplyDeleteWere I to have a headstone, I think the epitaph should read:
Statistical outlier
How about "Keep the line moving!"
ReplyDelete