Chris had opened the box, expecting us to buy the bloody thing straight off
But it didn't fit.
The bloody thing didn't fit.
It was too small.
Even " extended" to it's fullest extension.
It was too small
This was in the centre of the shop, with men in pork pie hats giving me pitying looks as they walked past with their easy crease pants in their hands.
I felt like Julia Roberts down Rodeo Drive in Pretty Woman
( but without the teeth and the big hair)
I don't deal with embarrassment well.
I tend to experience it as its big sister ..the slightly more powerful emotion of humiliation .
And no one does humiliation well.
We can all remember humiliating experiences as if they occurred only yesterday. A fall in public, toilet paper down the leg of your pants, a drunken wrong word, a Mega fart over a vegetable freezer in Aldi ( one of my best btw) all of them take me back to childhood, when I was picked last for games, embarrassed by unenlightened teachers or shown up by parents who should have known better.
Embarrassment can be coped with by having a good sense of humour ( which I have)
Humiliation just has to be endured .
..... Well I survived the cummerbund experience...just..........
And by the way...the suit fits mighty fine