Wednesday, 4 June 2014

Flirting

Today I read with some amusement Tom Stephenson's story of a one sided flirtation episode at a Bath supermarket .
It reminded me of one of my most embarrassing incidents which occurred over 23 years ago. I may have blogged about it before, but it is worth repeating I think .......especially as it's a bit of a slow news day
 Back in 1991 I was celebrating the multicultural social events organised in Sheffield when the World Student Games were held in the city.

I went with a friend to the Crucible Theatre which was hosting a free night of folk music and dance (in the foyer!)...as usual I was dressed down for the event (t shirt and ripped jeans! - remember the fact I had ripped jeans on)
but as the whole event was very relaxed I kind of blended in!
Anyhow I remember sitting on the steps of the bar looking down at the singers and crowds below..and one guy, who was sitting at a table with some friends caught my eye!
I looked at him.....he looked at me! and suddenly I thought "my lucks in!!!"
Anyhow this game of glances carried on for a while ( I remember the guy looked a little like a bearded Jake Gyllenhall) and I did that half smile and hair toss flirting thing! before I caught sight of him downing his pint then weave his way through the tables to walk to where I was sat up on the stairs!
He leaned over slowly so I could smell his after shave and whispered gently into my ear
"Hey mate...I wanted to tell you that you have a rip in your jeans and one of your b*lls is sticking out!"...he suddenly left and went to sit down again!!
What happened to me?..........well I died .....died in a pool of rancid shame

60 comments:

  1. a thousand deaths

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  2. But the message I got for this is that at least he was looking at your balls!

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  3. Yes it was worth retelling!

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  4. Could happen to anyone..... but not me!

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    1. When you're a little older..I am sure it will

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  5. Oh my...the shame...the horror. But you cleaned up nicely after that and found your Chris so maybe it was a good thing.

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    1. Awwww...always the optimist deloras

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  6. Absolutely cringing for you here!!! Dear God.

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  7. You should have thanked him and then let it ALL hang out!

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  8. My uncle had a saying for that and zippers undone: "Horse is gettin' out of the barn, boy."

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    1. Or in my case.... The donkey

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  9. Oh my God...I'm going to laugh all day.....
    I don't mean to be unkind but!!!!a similar thing happened to mr. On our back porch...with my best friend and her husband...I looked over to my husband and mr Johnson and the boys were out for some air!!!! I quickly told Tess to "look away"!!!!! In my best theatrical voice!!!! Thankfully for her sake there was a rearrangement but not before her husband got a real eyeful!!!!

    I'm laughing hysterically just writing this!!!

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    1. Mr johnson and the boys
      I will remember that

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  10. Oh, my, i could feel my face warming up considerably as i read this!

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  11. Really dropped a b****ck there didn't you ;)

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  12. He was just too stupid to pick up on your unusually aggressive style of flirtation. I can only imagine what you did to catch Chris' attention when the time came!

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    Replies
    1. I was drunk and tried to pay for his dinner with a Sainsbury's loyalty card

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  13. It can (kinda) happen to women. Very hot day, in uniform, one piece boiler suit that was too big... Only knickers and bra underneath...
    Received a call from uniform fitter to be measured up for kit that actually fitted. Desperate to get uniform that fitted I dashed immediately to uniform tailoress. Inside leg measurement required..As one piece so baggy, had to be removed......Inside leg measurement taken....After "flap" tucked hurriedly back into g string gusset (wanted to die there and then)

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    1. Remember I am gay... You may need to draw a diagram

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    2. I'm not gay and I think I need a diagram.

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    3. I've got you boys beat - I'm a straight woman & I could might need a diagram too!

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  14. and he didn't take advantage of you then and there? poor john! :(

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  15. What a let-down. And what embarrassment. I assume you slipped discreetly out of the theatre before your shame could be added to....

    I once wore an extremely tight-fitting pair of jeans to the local cinema. You wouldn't believe how many guys were eyeing me up. Or maybe you would.

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    1. I slowly closed my legs, and just sat there in a puddle of shame

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    2. *sympathetic hug*

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  16. That is the risk of good advertising, sometimes it’s successful sometimes not.

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  17. Maybe Stephenson had a rip in his jeans ...........

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    1. It wasn't you at the supermarket?

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    2. No, I checked my diary to make sure.

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  18. Didn't your underpants contain them John? (I don't know why I have such an unhealthy interest?)

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    Replies
    1. I had loose fitting boxers on that had ridden up

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  19. Were you commando? You saucy man.

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  20. had me in stitches - lol

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  21. Every time I see a funny bulldog video, I think of you. This one I just had to share: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zt7rXE9vhNY

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    Replies
    1. Gus was a sweetie... He got the bath into the house!

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  22. I remember your story well. Who could forget? Still good!

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  23. Well you've got balls writing about it! Reminds me of the Inbetweeners when he's on the catwalk! Same thing happened to my friend when he was helping out at a young kids cricket match. Had small shorts on and apparently one popped out. Eeeeuuuwww.

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  24. Hahaha! Boy bits must be so annoying sometimes! I tell my husband that all the time! :)

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    1. Never annoying... Sometimes awkward though

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  25. Oops. And what a gentleman he was. The shame would have been unsurvivable if he had merely yelled out for all to hear.

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    1. Yes , at least he was polite

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  26. Was this the first of the 'goolie' incidences?

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    1. I am sure I have others

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  27. Wasn't that incredibly uncomfortable? Like sitting on 'yourself', which the husband has done a couple of times and nearly scared me to death jumping up with a yowl! The sensitivities and insensitivities of the male appendage are fascinating. I must do some up close research soon LOL!

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    1. They aren't like cushions mrs c

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  28. Why was he checking out that area if he didn't want to see something?

    Love,
    Janie

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  29. Haha...
    Glad you survived the embarrassment, John. :-)

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  30. At least someone noticed, there comes an age when any notice is a good notice.

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  31. Oh my goodness that is the funniest thing I have ever heard!

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  32. Hehehehehe.... sooo funny. Laughing here too. I think the difference between "designer" ripped jeans and knackered old holey ripped jeans we think are cool becomes apparent after an incident such as this. Lol

    Jo in Auckland, NZ

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