Monday, 3 February 2014

Bounced Around By the Bra Straps

With Chris away ,I "  treated " myself to a Sunday evening showing of  12 Years A Slave. Unfortunately the only cinema that was playing the movie was in Rhyl , so I took a chance and went.
There was five other people in the cinema.
A middle age couple, me and three fifteen year old girls.
I agree...not the best of mixes.
The girls were chatty and showing off with one another, so I left things well alone until we were five minutes into the film. The girls had still not settled down by then,  so I quietly walked to the back of the cinema , lent over the chairs and said in my best firm teacher's voice
" can you stop talking"
To be fair the girls apologised and all was quiet until an hour later when giggles, and the banging of phones and chairs could be heard.
I walked back yet again and hissed " I wont tell you again BE QUIET" then returned to my seat.
I thought.....firm...but fair

A minute later an anaemic looking cinema manager appeared and asked me to leave the cinema
Outside the door she told me that one of the girls had complained that I had told her off " inappropriately" and she wanted to hear " my side of the story"

Where was I ? Fucking school? What I really wanted was to fling both the manager AND the snotty teen around the multiplex by their bra straps... But all I said was that " I told them to be quiet that's all....they were noisy... Now I am missing the film, so I am going back"
The manager then informed me the the girl had been " told off" before the film had started ( if that made any difference) and I found myself suddenly getting all defensive, which pissed me off even more. I walked off back to my seat.

Now there is a serious message in all this silliness.....and that is just how vulnerable a single man is when a self confident teenage girl flexes her muscles in public.In the back of my mind all I was thinking about was what would have happened if the girl had said I had laid a hand on her?
It doesn't bare thinking about....obviously the manager had made the value judgement right in her eyes......middle aged pervert who was " BY HIMSELF"  very wrong!

Bloody hell..I am so angry at that value judgement

Anyhow teens remained thankfully silent for the rest of the film.... A film that was rather impressive to say the least..

Michael Fassbender and Chewitel  Ejiofor wonderful acting


71 comments:

  1. I wonder why they chose that film? Seems an odd choice for three unruly,disrespectful girls.
    Jane x

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    1. I suspect it was the only film showing at that time......

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  2. It's rated R here. They wouldn't be allowed in the cinema without a parent. I wouldn't be able to watch the movie after all that. I always sit near annoying people, too.

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    1. I think it's a fifteen here ( unfortunately) x

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  3. What a minefield. Yell at them from a distance, I guess is the answer.

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    1. Andrew I think I understand you

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  4. John, It's been years since I've gone out to the cinema. Finally got tired of getting the back of my chair kicked and people propping their feet up on the empty seats near me. I suppose it's got worse now --hoped it wouldn't. I watch films by subscription at home on a wide flatscreen tv, but the fun of viewing with an audience has long since declined.

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    1. I cannot abide bad behavior in the cinema
      And I conceed I can be heavy handed
      But I stand by my actions

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  5. It's sad John but you DO have to be careful about what you say to the opposite sex, where and when...always make sure you have a suitable witness to your actions. Girls can be vicious and it will always be your word against theirs. People tend to side with what they consider to be the defenceless.

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    1. A lesson well learned x

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  6. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I teach high school and I have to say that I'm not surprised. Many times I've had to defend myself to admin and parents for insisting that the student behave. No wonder this generation is going to hell in the proverbial handbasket.

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  7. Many many many years ago, while at the beach with children and a friend... we say a little boy standing almost in tears and looking lost... we both when up to him but were very careful not to touch him as we asked did he know where his Mum was. He didn't know. So we stood there and looked around what seemed like a long time. we were getting the life guard when his Mum came.
    In California you have to be careful too.

    cheers, parsnip

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  8. It's true, now one must think twice about every interaction - first, what is the right thing to do, and then, what is the prudent thing to do.

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  9. This is amongst the reasons why I don't visit cinemas.

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  10. I believe I would have gone to the manager to begin with. Kids these days can be pretty nasty if they are in a group.

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  11. Can you not take your complaint to the cinema managers superior, John?

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  12. The world is getting crazy. It's getting to the point where an adult will need a second adult present to vouch for their conduct every time they interact with a minor. Social paranoia to the power ten.

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  13. Maybe twice in my life I've shouted from my seat to "Stop talking!" and at least twice more going outside to complain to staff. Trouble is my own action, though certainly justified, gets me so stressed that my interest in what's going on on screen has been dissipated for at least the next hour, if not for the entire remainder of the film.
    In this case of yours sounds like the girls wanted to get revenge on you so as to assuage their feelings of being belittled. If, after this, you did manage to take in what was happening on screen (and it sounds like you did) I can only say "Well done, Sir!"

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  14. I know what you mean. When I'm out on my own and there are children nearby (I live close to two schools), I often feel people are keeping an eye on me in case I'm "one of them", As Steve suggested, I might need a chaperone before long. When I was a kid, I wandered all over the place and was never afraid of strange men. Only on one occasion, aged ten, was I chatted up. People are getting absurdly paranoid.

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  15. I'd have been furious if that'd happened & demanded to see the manager.
    I've had to tell kids to be quiet loads of times..... but the worst ever it must be said was the constant chattering & shouting out by a coach party of Welsh ladies (- sorry John - South Wales though ) at the stage show of Dirty dancing.
    One yelled out, " That's my favourite line from the film " I turned round & said firmly, " It's everyones' favourite line and you just ruined it "

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  16. This post makes me as angry as you were!
    God help us that we have got into this state where we have to put up with the antisocial behaviour and total lack of respect from youngsters and their parents for fear of causing ourselves a lot of trouble and heartache.

    I haven't been to the cinema for years. Being cooped up in a dark room with the great unwashed and their bad habits no longer appeals to me.

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  17. I would have been SO p****d off by that and would probably have flounced off home. and cut off my nose to spite my face.
    Can you share a critique of the film?,
    I really want to watch it,though I guess it is not an easy watch.
    Gill

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    1. Thanks gill and thanks all for your comments,.,.. I will review the film later ( sorry tom)

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  18. In typically misanthropic style I don't go to the cinema any more. My annoyance levels at other human beings skyrockets and I just won't put myself through it now.

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  19. Unfortunately this happens around the world & the child is always believed.

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  20. Pity you didn't swing 'em round by their bra-straps! They certainly deserved it! Joking aside, John, it's so wrong that a few pubescent girls can cause so much trouble. Scary - really..........!!

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  21. Each time a girl exaggerates her claim to 'inappropriate' it is harming another young person who may have a valid complaint.
    The cinema manager wasn't doing her job properly if you had to tell them to quieten down yourself...
    Why should any of us put up with feral children calling the shots?

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  22. Brats. I blame Esther Ranson.

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  23. Yes, the girls always seem to be believed.

    I think Jimmy Savile would vouch for that if he was alive.

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    1. I think there is somewhat of a difference there

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    2. Shove a cigar in her mouth and it would be hard to tell the difference. Actually, just shove a cigar in her mouth anyway, just for a laugh. I think I should have spelt it 'Rantzen', anyway. Ach, Rantzen Schmanzen - what difference does it make if they love their mother?

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  24. I think you were very restrained - In fact I think you should write a letter of complaint to the Head Office, why should you be made to feel uncomfortable because of a few noisy children the cinema did not deal with properly - The manager should be made aware of your discomfort at the situation. Young girls do not rule the world and the cinema should not have been pandering to them, they did not deal with the situation fairly.

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    1. Good idea!
      The manager has probably had the training about child protection that I had to sit through and is probably obliged to take complaints from youngsters seriously whether they like it or not.

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    2. i sent a somewhat colourful email to head office

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  25. I find this very interesting John. Don't get me wrong but there are an awful lot of perverts let loose amongst us - but isn't it all getting just too silly. Nobody could deny the awfulness of Jimmy Saville and Co - but when I was a girl you never went into an enclosed space where there was a lone man - and if you did and you were 'touched up' you knew exactly where to aim an elbow or a knee in order to hurt. These girls are part of the modern culture. I think Gigibird makes a very valid point.
    Incidentally, with regard to your latest comment on mu blog, one of my pipe dreams is to park outside your house and come and knock on your door - trouble is I never come to North Wales and no longer drive.

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    1. i wont be approaching teen girls again
      so yes it was sad all round

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  26. Sorry for your bad experience John.
    Is it any wonder that cinemas are closing?

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  27. Behavior like that keeps me from cinemas too. Yet then the community bemoans the loss of such establishments due to poor attendance. They no longer have ushers to invoke good behavior and management are fearful patrons will take them to court for something or other. Anarchy.

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  28. The day I realized that people are clearly incapable of sitting through 90 minutes of flicker without popcorn or other munchies was the day I stopped going to the cinema.

    As to bra straps: At least you are not Woody Allen. Is that Farrow vendetta ever going to go the way of a sunset?

    And 'stranger danger' is a disgrace. When I was young I briefly lived in a large city. My parents made sure that I'd know the signs and how to conduct myself in worst case scenario - and they made no difference between men and women. They did it so well it never ever eroded my trust in 'strangers'. Most of whom are friendly, well intentioned. The world has gone mad. Let's hope I won't too. Or you.

    U

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  29. Teens these days feel they have the right to act in any way they choose. No respect for others at all. If my granddaughter acted this way and I got wind of it....I'd have my foot up her rear! It's a sign of the times.

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  30. I wonder if they found the film as boring as I did....

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  31. The reason why I don't go to movie theater anymore.

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  32. teenagers terrify me

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  33. It is pretty scary that you can't just politely ask someone to quiet down a little....only a few weeks ago in the states a couple were sitting in the theater and the husband texted the baby sitter and a man got very upset and shot and killed the husband.....hello!!!!! We're trying to have a society here!!!!!

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  34. Hopefully, since you remained to watch the rest of the movie, those girls might have learned they can't control everyone around them. Too bad you didn't have a bag of poo handy.

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  35. Good for you for telling them to hush. Very immature of them to "tattle" on you. I really want to see that film.

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  36. I think it was a strange choice of film for the girls too. Do you think that the manager was related to them by any chance?

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  37. I'm dumbfounded.
    Now I'm furious.

    Here's a link I thought you would be interested in - perhaps bring a smile to your face?
    http://www.nextavenue.org/blog/old-dogs-can-teach-us-new-tricks

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    1. ginger is a sweetheart
      thank you for that
      made me tear up

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  38. i used to go to the movies by myself all the time. i never do anymore because i got tired of telling people to shit the F up.

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  39. What made those silly girls go to that movie? Sorry you had to put up with their nastiness and the stupidity of the cinema manager. I've seen this film advertised - now I want to see it!

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  40. Snotty bitches. And this is why I no longer go to the theater. Why do people bother going to a movie if you are going to disrupt others and not watch the damn thing??? Netflix and me, we are best friends. ;-)

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    1. i adore going to the cinema
      i know why i prefer art house movies...... riff raff dont go

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    2. Ain't that the truth!!!

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  41. When i went to see "Saving Mr. Banks," there was an older couple seated a few rows behind and to my left. The wife commented several times that she couldn't understand what was said, and spoke it loudly. I was ready to tell her to go ask for hearing amplification or just pipe down and allow the rest of us to watch.

    In your case, it seems a shame that the girls did what they did. As already mentioned, there are real victims out there who are not taken seriously. Should it happen again, i'd go straight to the manager and tell him/her the kids are being disruptive.

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    1. it was sad that the main protagonist thought that SHE was the victim

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    2. It is the Vicki Pollard syndrome!

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  42. It's the reason I no longer go to evening showings of films. Once we had a similar encounter with a bunch of teenagers who refused to stop talking on their cell phones, and were so frustrating to everyone the manager eventually asked them all to leave.
    They were waiting for us when we left the theatre, and police were summoned to disperse the nearly fifty riotous teenagers.
    It's sad, but we seem to be living in the age of very few manners.
    ~Jo

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    1. what concerned me was the fact that the girls thought they were in the right
      sad indeed jo

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  43. Tricky. As a lone man, probably best to go to the management first, just to protect yourself from this kind of thing.
    My uncle was once 'roughed up' by teenage girls on a train. It upset him greatly, but what could he do without being seen as the baddie?
    I have been known to SHUSH people with such venom, it sounds like a window smashing.

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  44. thanks all for the comments..... not in the mood to answer all of them....... the whole rehash is getting me pissed off
    xxxx

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  45. Pissed me off when I read it! Sadly life is now made up of mostly arseholes. We, the sensible few are the minority. Don't be pissed off, kiss your gorgeous dogs and chill. X

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  46. That sort of young woman is the reason women aren't believed when they're molested.

    Love,
    Janie

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  47. Sadly, your anger and judgement of that situation was completely correct........I am asking myself "who raises these teens to have NO respect for other people around them?" I'm not going to go there.......

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  48. Sorry to hear you had such an unpleasant experience. Frankly, I am more bothered by the theater managers behavior than the snotty teen girls. It is the managers job to check in periodically on his patrons comfort & safety. If he had been actually doing his job he could have overheard the girls and told them to leave the second time they started bothering you or you could have handed you complaint to him to resolve. What kind of a moron take the word of a group of teenagers as the gospel truth and then basically finds you guilty of "mouthing off" without even asking for your version of events? I think it would be worthwhile to write the owner of the theater about how you were treated by that manager. I find him to be more offensive than the teenagers. I do enjoy the vision of you twirling them around by their bra straps. I'd add good tight wedgie to that act.
    I suspect that a woman would have received the same complaint from those girls. but I do agree that the person of the opposite sex carries some vulnerability if they had chosen to be more vindictive, but when a person is decent & upstanding citizen, you shouldn't have to live life worried about what lies strangers may choose to fabricate about you without provocation. I guess you have to minimize the potential for fractious complaints by limiting contact & getting the employee to resolve issues with trouble makers.. It shouldn't have to be so hard to rake care of a simple matter, but it tales away any potential for false claims.
    On the bright side, I am glad to here this film was not a flop & worth the trouble.

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  49. It's terrifying and the lack of respect in the young makes me feel like a grumpy old lady. One word from that girl and you could have been having your collar felt and be in an interview room defending yourself. It's shocking. I'm sorry you missed a bit of the film John. xx

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