Saturday, 18 January 2014

Behind Closed Doors

No my mother wasn't Talulah Bankhead..she just thought  she was
My mother always had a saying
It was one of many
And it went a bit like this
" you will never know a person unless you follow them home"
It is, of course another slant of the " behind Closed  doors" saying and it perhaps eludes to the darker , sadder and private parts of all of our psychi.
What we present to the world is often very different from the lives we are in fact living.

I have been thinking about this today when I went past the burnt out cannabis den house on London Road. Outwardly the house was being renovated in order for a new family to enter a village community . In reality, two enterprising drug dealers were bypassing the electric supply in order to sell on " happy resin" to the no- copers of North Wales.
Outwardly a new purchased,hopefully happy, family home
Inside, the reality was just a hopeful " get rich quick " scheme .

The darker, hidden parts of ourselves , the problems, the worries, the  hopes and the flaws are the parts that ultimately makes us more interesting, after all wouldn't it be just awful to live a life of three score years and ten and have someone quote that immortal Tallulah Bankhead quote at your departing  coffin
" There was less to him that met the eye"





36 comments:

  1. true fax; we lead 2 lives, one that we show to everyone, and one that we hide away from prying eyes.

    the situation you describe above would be commonplace in this country; I would not think it could happen in your quiet pretty village.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it happens everywhere AM

      Delete
    2. Oh, so true. When we sold our house in British Columbia we were legally required to complete a declaration that to the best of our knowledge the house had never been used as a grow-op (our term for a hydroponic cannabis factory)

      Delete
  2. I don't understand people who create an elaborate public facade to hide their supposedly unlikable private selves. As you say, what they think of as unlikable may be precisely the things that other people find fascinating and endearing. I've prattled on about just about all my personal failings and foibles in my blog, and the sky hasn't fallen in yet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hiding ones dirty laundry
      We all do it

      Delete
  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Most horrifying are the are the kidnappers...the Garridos, Ariel Castro, Josef Fritzl...and the fact that nobody noticed what was going on behind closed doors for years. Or maybe people did notice, and nothing was done about it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was thinking more of theclosed doors of ones personality, but I agree with the idea of the nutcase next door

      Delete
    2. I think our governments should start something like a know-your-neighbors day.

      It sounds stupid as I write it but I read somewhere about a great tourist town in hilly Italy where all the people wash their homes and the periphery every Friday. Anything for a better society is good.

      Delete
  5. Who would have thought that John Major was knocking off Edwina Currie? Seems there was MORE to him than met the eye. There's less to her, though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And who would have thought that M Hollande had a bevy of beauties after him. There's certainly less to him than he pretends.

      Delete
  6. i had never heard that before but it sure is a good one!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I have never heard that TB quote before John and I suppose it would be a rather damning quote - we need to make some sort of mark to leave behind us don't we? Living in the country rather than the town I suppose you and I both see rather more into peoples' lives - I know there is a lot of loneliness behind closed doors and a lot of unhappiness; there is also a huge amount of kindness and good being done about which we know only a little. But personality - in whatever form it comes - wins for me every time.

    ReplyDelete
  8. As a stay-at-home mum I was quite used to people's eyes glazing over as I answered the inevitable 'what do you do?' at husband's business functions. I was written off as boring.
    Then I began (quite truthfully) to say I was a published writer of erotic fiction. What a difference! Suddenly people were interested.
    It's quite nice to have a little something out the back to shock with. Like dear Miriam M and her frotting.:D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Andi
      I would love to read one xx

      Delete
  9. Surface appearances don't count for much. Take a look in the backyard, the basement and open a closet or two lol.

    ReplyDelete
  10. This reminds me of talking to my grandkids about kindness toward other children. I worked in social services and took the reports of child abuse. When they would mention a student and make a not too nice comment I chastised them and reminded them they had no idea what goes in their homes and the horrible things that have made them the way they are...again these children too often hid what was happening to them.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh that public persona! Makes one suspicious of everyone! lol
    I am sure I will care less what people will say upon my 'parting'.

    ReplyDelete
  12. What is unseen behind my closed doors.

    ReplyDelete
  13. This became clear to me years ago. There was a lovely gentleman who lived at the end of our road, in a beautiful large house overlooking the river. I was told that his wife kept bees and had the honey for sale, so one day I set out to go and check it out. When I knocked on the door, she answered, peeping shyly around the door. I could see into the house and it was a hoarders delight. Piles of papers, stacked 4 ft tall, with little trails all through. Several years later there was a fire and serious damage to the home, but the couple was fine. I understand now that she had a mental illness. We all have our quirks and foibles, I am sure. Good to keep in mind.

    ReplyDelete
  14. In the past, I've had one friend referred to as " insignificant " and another, " A waste of space " Harsh words.
    I always try to look at the bigger picture & what lies behind actions.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Devil's advocate here...what do you think you might have found if you'd followed that crisp-eating dog owner home yesterday?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Makes me think of one of my favorite quotes, and a quote that oftentimes gives me some comfort when I compare myself to a person that seems "perfect".

    It is:
    The only normal people you know
    are the ones you don't know very well.

    so true and just love it. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Yes, John. Next you tell us you are the original axe murderer.

    U

    ReplyDelete
  18. I've always preferred rowdy neighbors to quiet ones- the rowdy ones never have bodies buried in the basement crawlspace.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Some doors should remain closed.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I'm extending our patio, need I say more?

    ReplyDelete
  21. This is one of your deeper ones JG.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was feeling deeper CIC

      Delete

I love comments and will now try very hard to reply to all of them
Please dont be abusive x