Wednesday, 29 May 2013

Light Pollution



Now you don't really need to know this, but we generally sleep with the curtains open. When you are a middle aged man, there is method in this madness, for the glow from the street lamp in the lane, illuminates the room adequately enough for you to negotiate the pit falls of the " middle of the night trip to the bog"
Of course, I  innately now know the set up.......get up, turn right, two steps, turn right again......four steps, feel around the door, turn right...walk forward  six steps, feel for toilet seat and sit down with a sigh ( yes I always sit down to pee in the night......it's safer) but having a bit of light shining through the window , does allow a person to at least see which dog has sneaked into your warm spot after you have grappled with the old prostate.
Having said all this, I am now a firm believer that the village street lights should be turned off  in the wee small hours. Ok leave them on until midnight, so that the final die hards at The Crown can find their way home, but turn them off until say five thirty or six, so that the early risers can back their cars out safely for that morning commute to work.
I am beginning to hate light pollution....
mind you.....Living with someone who wakes early doesn't help either, as on a daily basis, Chris will be wide awake around four or four  thirty only to check email or read the news on his iPad. Now even though he is, for the most part silent, the sudden flash of screen light is often enough to drag me out of a  Russell Crowe based dream and into the land of the early morning undead...and as you all must know by know by now
I JUST FUCKING WELL DON'T DOOOOOO MORNINGS!

And so, what is the solution? 
Turn off the street lights......close the curtains, position a weak torch next to the bed so that " pee runs" remain safe and wear a Joan Collins eye mask the rest of the time....

There, job done! Simples!

Ps couldnt find a photo of Trelawnyd in the dark...so you will have to be content with the above
Trelawnyd in bright sunshine
Pps. Chris had an excuse to be awake at 4am this morning ... North Wales experienced a small earthquake......me and dogs slept though it

67 comments:

  1. Don't forget that you'll need those lights the next time you're out walking the streets in your p.j.s. - and causing further seismic convulsions in your local community.

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    1. Perhaps I would look better under the complete cover of darkness

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    2. This is no time for modesty, J.G. I say you should "let it all hang out!"

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  2. You have got street lights! All we have is potholes! Oh to live in a village. Do you have a pub, public transport, pavements and mains water? Sounds like Heaven John.

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    1. Different perspectives eh?

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  3. You have a prostate problem? How awful. What does the doctor say?

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    1. Artistic licence

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    2. So you don't have a prostate problem? That's good!

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  4. Just read about the earthquake on line so nipped over to see if there were any photos of you out in your pjs holding on to a chicken house or two! Just think you could have been shook off the loo as well!

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  5. So the earth moved for you this morning - lucky duck!

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  6. Has to be dark for me and quiet which I have neither - cats in and out of the window moving the blinds so I get a blast of sunrise and husband snores.

    I snore too but he sleeps through it !

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  7. Thank for confirming what I have always suspected of you - that you do, indeed, sit down to pee.

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    1. .....and your point is?

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    2. Ooooh - you don't do mornings, do you? P.S. Mid-Wales is the favourite spot for astronomers in Britain, purely because of the little light-pollution in the remote parts.

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    3. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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    4. Do you do evenings?

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  8. Did it shake your bosoms John?
    Jo xx

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    1. Like a pair of maraccas jo

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  9. I JUST FUCKING WELL DON'T DOOOOOO MORNINGS!


    Nor me John :-O try telling that to my grizzling dog, who, as soon as she spots me opening one eye, it's ready for the off. She is such a morning person (groan).

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  10. We slept through it, too, although Darwin did start crying at around that time so I presume that he felt it!

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  11. such a pretty little village!

    most guys I know (spouse included) sit to pee. two words - bedside urinal.

    I need it dark and quiet (TWSS), but the cats wake me up at 4:30a for breakfast and spouse snores like a freight train. no street lights to contend with, however.

    EARTHQUAKE?!?

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  12. I have often wondered about the expression "the wee small hours" and now finally I understand. It's clearly to do with having a widdle in the middle of the night! But if you only need to do a little one - surely it should be "The small wee hours"!

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  13. I read about the North Wales earthquake and immediately thought of you... in a 'what has he been up to now' sort of way.

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    1. Throwing explosives at the fox!

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  14. We don't have any artificial light out here which I'm very grateful for. I hate it too. I sleep by the east facing window though and, at the moment, am being woken by the dawn light at about 4.30am.

    Blackout curtains and a portable commode for you John....always a nice look in a bedroom I think. x

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  15. I'm rather pleased to be able to get-up in the mornings now without putting the light on. 5.30am it is already reasonably light, the birds are singing, and I always have a big smile on my face. Coffee, work, and peace.

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  16. my bedroom is like a cave. however, i only do mornings! i am up at 4:00 and in bed by 8:00.

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  17. Read about the earthquake and wondered if you felt it.

    I used to need complete darkness to sleep. Now I like the sunrise on the Mediterranean so much that I've adjusted to sleeping with the window unobstructed. But, electric lights (and iPads) are not permitted. Turn on a light and I'm awake for the long haul.

    I've gotten very good over the years of feeling my way to the bathroom during the night (with my feet).

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    Replies
    1. Not a good ploy with Albert......dead mice n the floor

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  18. couldn't agree with you more...I finally recycled Don's digital alarm clock because the hot pink glow kept me waking up all through the night...then there is the street light that shines on the vertical blinds and the green charge light on my electric toothbrush. I tried a "Joan Collins eye mask" which was great for keeping out the light but made me feel like I had rubber bands around my head...woe is me! However it is nice to have all that soft light if by chance I have to get up during the night :D

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  19. I used to sleep with the curtains open at night when all we had was field behind us. It was lovely to look out at the stars. Now I keep them closed because all the lights out back make it too bright in our room.
    Hope there was no damage due to the earthquake.

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  20. We don't really need curtains here but in the winter the light from the moon keeps me awake,especially when it reflects off the snow...so curtains it is.
    I'm going to count my steps to the bathroom now...perhaps we should all compare notes.
    Jane x

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  21. I have black-out curtains and keep a flashlight by the bed for "midnight runs". I like the night black!

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  22. What you need it one of those plug in the socket nightlights. Maybe you could run them along the landing to guide you to your comfort station, like the escape lights they have on aeroplanes!

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  23. John, I never sit down on a loo seat. Not even my own. I prefer to hover. And have always envied men who can turn their back to the world and pee against a tree. Women need a bush (to hide behind). Which is why I don't recommend to go to the Oktoberfest (anywhere in Bavaria). The queues at the 'Ladies' are legendary.

    Neither do I have curtains. So I can't draw them even if I wanted to. Which I don't. Streetlamps in my road as dim as in Victorian times. However the moon (when full) does shine bright. Count yourself lucky that Chris only does what Chris does. If you were lying next to me. Though on the whole I don't move much, sleep might prove elusive to you at those times when I launch into one of my 'talks'. So loud I wake myself, eventually. Still, you could always blackmail me with what you have gleaned.

    Apropos of nothing: Maybe Chris was a farmer in a previous life. Up with the cockerel and his hens, and all that.

    U

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    1. You must have incredible thigh muscles from all that hovering! :)

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    2. Spinner, I do. I do. I firmly believe that a woman's strength lies between her thighs (particularly when you want to uncork a stubborn bottle and haven't got a waiter's friend to hand).

      And don't forget to do your Kegel exercise (stop/start peeing midstream). Prevention being better than cure.

      U

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    3. U
      I doubt very much that you and I would ever share a double bed.......
      Tee hee
      Your second comment had be gaffawing

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    4. My dear John, I have shared beds with lesser (men) than you. If there is one mattress and one mattress only (and no sofa), only a bridge, you will share (our) bed. As will I.

      See you in Paris. Don't bring Chris. It might be pushing the bed to its King Size limits.

      Hugs and kisses,

      U

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  24. Our issue is tripping over the three black dogs that lay around the beg strategically placed to trip the unwary night wee-er. It is better on full moon nights...no outside lights here except the moon and stars. My husband seems to pick and choose the standing and sitting pee in the night...never sure what motivates him!

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    1. Standing means puddles

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    2. Well I wouldn't have figured that one out with three boys in the house.....

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  25. Don't blame your lack of sleep on Chris and his ipad, lol.

    Trelawnyd looks great! I might have to invite myself someday.

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    1. It does look pretty from that position KK

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  26. I can't stand light in the room when I sleep.
    I do understand needing light to walk in the dark.

    I need to adjust our bedroom 'curtains', as morning comes too early now.
    Hope you're enjoying your day, John. ♥

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  27. I don't have curtains here, and sometimes the moon wakes me up when it shines on my face. The morning light sometimes rouses me, too. Very few middle-of-the-night trips to the loo for me. If i do need to make one, i turn on the light.

    I've also slept through most of the several earthquakes i've experienced. The last one i was awake for and thought it was a huge truck/lorry making its way down the hill. by the time i realised it wasn't because there was no truck rumbling sound, it was done. Jim was a young kitten then, and sat on my lap, very scared. I comforted him, the house shook a moment, and then all was well.

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    1. I love tat understatement of
      " I have slept through several earthquakes"
      Cracking

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  28. We had a similar scale earthquake when we lived in Maastricht. Niall felt it, woke me demanding did i know what it was. I allegedly mumbled 'oh just an earthquake' and carried on sleeping.

    No lights at all here. when it gets dark, it gets dark.

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    1. Last earthquake we had round these parts, I awoke from my restful slumber and wrote down the co-ordinates, identified where the problem was and went back to sleep. When I woke up the following morning, I wasn't that far out. Spooky!
      Biggest earthquake we had in East Lancs got us all out of bed at 6 am, over 6 on that there scale, the source was Yorkshire. Not had one that big for a long time. However, fracking is about to start...

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    2. When was that janet?
      As an honery Yorkshireman I don't recall it x

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  29. We like the dark here. We have no street lights. Most of the neighbors have lights on all the time at their homes but we don't.

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  30. Do you remember the days of chamber pots under beds John?
    If so might that be an answer to one of your problems?
    I am sure there is some daft person somewhere who is keeping flowers in one or something.

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    1. Cheeky mare...NO I DO NOT,!

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  31. Do you have curtains in your bathroom? Are they closed?

    Tsk! The things I ask of complete strangers!

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    1. No one in their right mind would peep in iris x

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  32. Aah! Russell.... earthquake.......

    *sigh*


    'scuse me? What were you sayin'?

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  33. That photo looks washed-out. That earthquake was felt in parts of England. Either that or the dog farted!

    I'm going now...

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  34. Haven't checked rough all comments but....
    Can we have a Joan Collins Eye Mask pic please?

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    1. Only if you send me some champagne

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  35. Light pollution in Wales? What is this world coming to??

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  36. How do you handle all those over-night shifts at hospital if you can't sleep with the light.
    After years of working over-night, I now find mid-afternoon that I get very sleepy, then I'm awake all night (as I am now).

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