Spring is here.
I realised this fact at exactly 6.55am when the screaming started in the living room and the dogs flew off the duvet in unison and belted down the staircase like a furry, hysterical waterfall.
In this house spring means Albert is hunting
And Albert's favourite prey in spring is rabbit.
Baby rabbit.
Recently a few of us have been a little under par.
I remain tired and run down post viral infection, Albert has been off his food and Meg has had a lame back leg, but after the baby bunny had started its high pitch screaming in the living room we were all up and running like Oscar Pistorius after the gunshot.
There is something terribly human and upsetting about a screaming rabbit.
After a brief tug of war, the poor thing was fading fast, so much so that I had to finish it off by clacking it on the head with the copper kettle which is sat on top of the wood burner.
Naked and clutching a bloodied kettle at 7 am in the morning, I didn't quite look at my best
These animals will be the death of me
 |
| They were bunnies actually |
And then they will be sorry. Who will tend to their every whim when they have finished you off?
ReplyDeleteGood Lord! I hope Aunt Gladys wasn't peeping through the window with a plate of scones at that precise moment. Not only would she have seen a mangled baby rabbit but as a bonus - the head of a young naked molerat too!
ReplyDeleteYou get worse x
Delete:D
DeleteNever a dull moment at your place. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat an exciting life you lead
ReplyDeleteOh god, I know, it's a terrible noise, isn't it! My dear departed Maggie used to bring in baby rabbits in the springtime too. It's no fun being woken at 3am by terrified baby rabbit screams. The downside of having a cat, eh!
ReplyDeleteThe person who suggested you should get out more obviously doesn't know how exciting it is chez vous.
ReplyDelete"...like Oscar Pistorius after the gunshot..."
ReplyDeleteOof! That's as close the bone as your copper kettle to a baby rabbit's skull!
Oh dear.. I was actually referring to the starter gun
DeleteWhoops
That's Ok. We'll just put it down to you being legless on wine when you posted...
DeleteWell, Mr McGregor had his day.
ReplyDeleteThankfully the few baby rabbits Shadow has brought in have - so far - been dead. But we were woken up by the crunching as he ate them out on the landing! Mind you he is very tidy so there's very little to clean up afterwards!
ReplyDeleteNot the most pleasant thing to wake to...I'm sorry you had to deal with it that way.
ReplyDeleteSuch is rural life John....
ReplyDeleteWhich particular shot of Oscar Pistorius were you referring to? There are about 5 to choose from, I think.
ReplyDeleteOops - I see someone else has already asked this.
DeleteHa ha ha ha ha ha
ReplyDelete"up and running like Oscar Pistorius after the gunshot"
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Oh dear!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Rofl (as they say)
Lmao
A faux pas of Olympic proportions!!!
DeleteJane x
I couldn't do it. Naked or clothed.
ReplyDeletemitchell! did you have to come Home? with that stuffed bunny vibrator then insist on digesting rabbit shite for DINNER! EVERY! NIGHT!. lol lies lies lies.
ReplyDeleteha ha your such a emotionally retarded boy.
:0p
Oh gosh, that's worse than waking up to the cat throwing up under the bed - something I've been living with for some time now (fortunately, a visit to the vet, an injection and she is now right as rain). It will be rabbit pie for tea then?
ReplyDeleteAnd the mental pic of you doing an Oscar Pistorius in the altogether will take a bit of shaking today!?!?
Elizabeth
Oh...and there were all the townies thinking how peaceful the countryside is. Hope he makes a good stew...
ReplyDeleteOh, it is difficult to put one down but it saves their suffering.
ReplyDeleteKind of you to put the poor little thing out of its misery. They do make a horrific racket don't they?
ReplyDelete"we were all up and running like Oscar Pistorius after the gunshot" That line is so perfect it made me forget the poor bunny.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't bear it when the cat brought baby rabbits in when I was a wee girl. with my cats it's just mice, rats & no bunnies.
ReplyDeleteWoken at six am this morning by loud banging on front door & Dillon barking madly ( Joe slept through the whole thing ) a neighbour asking where our other dog was as she'd seen a dog running down the road. Our other dog died about four years ago !
Poor bunny. A good thing you had the strength of mind to put it out of its misery before it was torn to bits. "Naked and clutching a bloodied kettle" - you must have looked like a total lunatic!!
ReplyDeleteIt's a tribute to your writing skills that I can picture the entire episode in my mind. We have a saying...it goes.....
ReplyDelete"You can poke out your eyes, but you can't poke out your mind's eye."
Poor John, you really should make your life into a television show, it would be wildly popular!!!
Bunnies really do scream like a woman, don't they? My brother and I each had a pet rabbit when we were kids, and my father killed one of them to cook for dinner. (Not exactly an act that endeared him to my brother and me, but looking back, I suppose we DID have to eat.) Later when he went back to the second rabbit to do the same, that poor bunny screamed. And died. Before he could kill it. I guess the poor thing knew what was about to happen and had a heart attack.
ReplyDeleteYour life sure isn't boring...
That confirms it, I could never be a farmer.
ReplyDeleteThe image will stick in my mind today....naked, tea kettle, almost dead bunny....I will have a smile on my face! Another video perhaps?
ReplyDeleteIt is a horrid, bone splintering noise! Two weeks ago after grooming one of our bunnies I was putting him back in his cage and for whatever reason he freaked out and started screaming which in turn freaked me out and I started screaming....it was horrible. (He is fine....not sure about me though!)
ReplyDeleteA few days ago, as a looked out the patio door into the garden still covered with snow (It's all melted as i write this), I saw a falcon ferociously devouring a small bird he had just caught. I could see signs of the "battle" (if there was any), feathers lying all over the place and blood stained snow. A falcon... in the middle of a city of 3 million people! First time I saw that.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the visual John!
ReplyDeleteThe 'kindest' thing to do for baby bunny......I had to do the same thing years ago when Polo, our cat, in the middle of the night somehow caught a pigeon outside and what a raucous from that bird!
John, you never fail to paint the most wonderful mental images! Coffee expelled out of the nostils again! PMSL
ReplyDeleteDuh! *nostrils*
ReplyDeleteSnippet got a vole a few weeks ago but (a) killed it in seconds and (b) did it while I was fully dressed. I feel for you....the difference between cats and dogs and their pastimes I suppose.
ReplyDeleteI always try and revive those baby bunnies, by extracting them from the mouth of Oliver the cat, and rubbing their little chest in hope they will make a miraculous recovery.
ReplyDeleteHe is never impressed.
~Jo
Oh jeeezzzz I think I just went blind in my good eye, bad picture.
ReplyDeleteWow, what a picture you paint of your morning! And poor baby rabbit. A violent end to a short life :(
ReplyDelete......and you didn't even catch it on video, what a bad blogger you are :-)
ReplyDeleteThe perils of living in the countryside with a cat, and in this house we also have a Jack Russell who can despatch a rat or a rabbit in about 3 seconds, no time for a scream there.
And people ask why I don't have a cat.
ReplyDeleteIf ever I am tempted I just come here for a reality check.
I think you just might be an expert on "nauseating", John! LOL!
ReplyDeleteah how sick we are, john - kindred spirits.
ReplyDeletetomaz cat brings them up to our bedroom, and then dexterdog, who is a samoyed dog, just like lenny from "of Mice and men" will pick up the screeching thing and then wonder why it stopped screaming. we dont even get up any more to see the damage until the morning xxxx
Wooooo I`ve been there and it was my worst nightmare. The poor little thing lay on its back in our garden and screamed everytime I went near it. I had to ring Mark to come back 12 miles to do the deed as I was in bits!!!!
ReplyDeleteThe screaming bunnies in the lane helped us get off outdoor cats. Not that we didn't appreciate the diminished numbers of garden eaters; it's that bunnies are soooooooo prolific and baby bunnies are so vulnerable. And have that scream perfected.......
ReplyDeleteOh I know! (in Sybil Fawlty voice).
ReplyDeleteMy pesky dogs got me up at 4.45am this morning while I was endeavouring to sleep off my jet-lag. I'm now so tired I am hallucinating! I thought my husband was washing up :-O
Blimey, you do make me laugh John. What a fabulously droll turn of phrase you have x
ReplyDeleteOh John I know the sound of a baby bunny screams oh so well from our Sassie girl we used to have. She had herself some battle scars from rabbit hunting. What a sight you must have been first thing. I am glad I am not alone in these states of dress, or undress some days with our animals ! x
ReplyDeleteWhen I was growing up my stepfather would not allow my cat(s) or any animal in the house, so mine were outdoor cats. Their favorite prizes to bring home to me were little snakes. My cat(s) never lived long because they would get run over and killed by cars. I have had many cats in my adult life since I left home and none would ever be allowed outside. They live and are just as happy as indoor cats as those that roam. I would be frantic to let my Gracie go outside and not know where she is. Maybe I am an over protected cat lover, but they have always been my children!
ReplyDeleteNo no no nooooooo! I couldn't read the other comments after the first few. I know it's nature red in tooth and claw. But I can't bear that any creature's scream of terror should be a figure of fun for some of your followers.
ReplyDeleteThough Mr EM and I did laugh ourselves silly at, "up and running like Oscar Pistorius after the gunshot". I shall steal this, thank you. Cx
Well said.
DeleteThe terrified screams of any creature about to be torn apart should not be amusing to any normal human being I think.
I can't see in any of the posts that anyone found the rabbit screaming or dying amusing?
DeleteI've heard that scream before, and it's heartstopping. I heard it a lot at my last location when foxes would find the little rabbits, and some would howl after their kill, which was also something that made my blood run cold.
ReplyDeleteOur feral cat Grace would kill bunnies, but i never heard any of her kills scream. She also brought us one baby bunny alive, and several times at that. I honestly think the bunny didn't realize Grace wasn't its mother, and after a few days, we didn't see it anymore, so i think it met its demise.
Oh say it isn't so ... cheeky fellow ~such an imagination with a dog toy at your feet ...shh if I am wrong just humor me. I am supposing you had tea shortly thereafter with that copper kettle ...Breakfast or Earl Grey ?
ReplyDeleteThe cat of a friend of mine tried to drag a bunny into the house through the vent hole for the dryer. Only the head of the bunny fit through the hole. And then it came off.
ReplyDeleteOh dear GOD!!!!
Delete...and then you noticed Chris standing at the foot of the stairs. "Oh shite, Chris, the rabbit died"
ReplyDeleteI've heard that unnerving scream of a rabbit.
SOOOO grateful my dogs don't bring me screaming bunnies. What a way to start your day!
ReplyDeleteYou have rabbits....I have skunks..
ReplyDelete