I missed locking up the coop on the right last night.
Fifteen hens and old Stanley, the cockerel roost there every evening
and fifteen hens and one cockerel survived the wee small hours of night, when badgers and foxes criss cross the field with the regularity of a ticking clock.
They and I have been incredibly lucky....and I cannot quite believe my lax stupidity!
I am becoming increasing forgetful, I have noticed that
It's not a product of being overly stressed and over worked
and it's not part of some degenerative brain disease
No, It's just the fact that I am over 50
and I am beginning to forget things!
Over coffee this morning, I have been thinking of other symptoms I have perhaps noticed recently, which could be viewed as normal signs of ageing"....They are just a little sobering
- I increasingly rely on my 5£ from Ebay magnifying glasses to read anything from food packets to personal correspondence. This is when I actually can remember where I put the bloody things in the first place
- I repeat myself all of the time
- I have arthritis in my right big toe
- It now takes me two "rolls" ( you know the sort- legs in the air and rocking from side to side kind of movements) to leap out of bed in the morning.
- I am up twice in the night for a pee
- I wear my woolly hat inside the cottage when I am watching tv
- I have an unhealthy relationship with my comfy armchair
- I say things like "she's a nice girl" when I comment upon someone I like
- I realise with horror that I am old enough to be Jake Gyllenhaal's father
- I repeat myself all of the time
Mind you on a more positive note, being over 50 has meant
- Increasingly I am realising that I don't give a flying f*ck what people think about me
- I do not bite my tongue when I think things need saying
- I no longer get overly embarrassed when I fart as I bend over
- I feel as though I could handle most situations
- I know myself as well as I am ever going to
Right, I am off to do some jobs on the field,
But I have just forgotten what jobs need doing............
I too have noticed. Not about you, but about me.
ReplyDeleteVarifocals (glass supplied by NASA) and yet I still peer over the top or underneath.
It's sad, and comforting all at the same time.
If you were a woman, I'd say you sound menopausal lol. What you need is a good vitamin B complex supplement. I swear by Vit B for memory and energy (and if you should be stressed; I think I would be a little stressed if farting when bending over - imagine bending over to inspect the latest offerings at the local jumble sale and letting one rip - its good for that too!) ... ;0)
ReplyDeleteEARL - You wear your woolly hat inside the cottage? Good Lord - you're Trelawnyd's own Benny - from "Crossroads". He was rather "slow" too. To halt your rapid decline into senility, remember that "Philosan fortifies the over forties" - available from all good chemists.
ReplyDeleteOop! I see a lot of those same things in my lady these days (especially the forgetting). Maybe not so many farts though. tee hee. She forgot to close the chicken coop several times over the summer. We were lucky too - nothing got the hens.
ReplyDeleteRecently my wife has been putting away the chicks at night (I've been ill). Last night she forgot, so I was forced to do it in PITCH DARK. Very good training in case I should ever lose my sight!
ReplyDeleteRiboflavin. If it works for a reclusive alcoholic, it'll work for you too!
ReplyDeleteRiboflavin. If it works for a reclusive alcoholic, it'll work for you too!
Yep I ticked all of the above LOL
ReplyDeleteI send ages looking for something I put down 2 minutes ago (or worse still, I have it in my hand!).
The best tip I have been given, I will pass on to you- buy loads of "ready readers" at £5.99 and leave them all over the house so you don't have to go round looking for a pair.
Sounds like luck was on your side (and the chooks also) - now I will own up to recognising and being familiar with some of the items on your list - not the farts tho! Ladies don't do that - they break wind lol
ReplyDeleteEcho Kath's tip.
ReplyDeleteI leave a pair of cheapo specs (bought from street vendors for equivalent of just over a quid) by each spot where I will neeed glasses...and train myself never to take them away, so when I've frgotten where I put my proper glasses all is not lost.
I blame Brendan for your forgetfulness re the coop.
The farting when you bend over conjured up quite an image.
ReplyDeleteSounds like it's time for a checklist on the fridge !!
ReplyDeleteI havn't got to 50 yet but can answer yes to most of your comments (except the farting I am pleased to say). Now worried what awaits me in a few months!
ReplyDeleteHave been reading your blog for a few months now and thoroughly enjoy it. At times I have been crying laughing.... and have now concluded that I need to be careful where I read your blog having been reduced to a heap just before a meeting by the ''brown bunting'' episode!
with a fab name like yours, you should have been a stripper
Deletewelcome!
I didn't know we had that much in common!!!
ReplyDeleteGill in Canada
What a relief...I'm not the only one going to the dogs!
ReplyDeleteWhat a relief...I'm not the only one going to the dogs!
ReplyDeleteWhat a relief I'm not the only one going to the dogs!
ReplyDeleteAh, you're such a charmer! Perhaps the foxes and badgers were scared away by one of your resounding farts during a bathroom visit in the wee hours.
ReplyDeleteOh...ermmm
ReplyDeleteSo it's not just me! We're in good company...
ReplyDeleteSome things about aging are not too bad, and other things just suck.
ReplyDeleteWelcome John to the "Over 50" Club !
ReplyDeleteJohn, you are adorable! I do agree that getting older has the best gift of time giving us the comfort and confidence to live in our own skin. That is such a treasure!
ReplyDeleteLana
You can imagine how hard it is to read labels when they have to accommodate both English and French. The print becomes even smaller....it's one thing I love about going to to Florida, I can read labels with just my glasses and not a magnifying glass.
ReplyDeleteWouldn;t it be great to have that 50's confidence when you are 15?
A lot of 15 year olds have that confidence (or act it). The difference is, they're wrong! ;)
DeleteWell John, welcome to my world. Been reading and laughing for a while now.
ReplyDeletethats grand
Deletewelcome x
Yep, have plenty of those symptoms, me self. The one I enjoy the most is speaking my mind and not giving a shat what others think. Course now, maybe the loss of teeth have prevented me from biting my tongue. Yeah, that could be it.
ReplyDeleteI am mid forties and already share some of those issues. But, I love not caring what people think about me anymore!
ReplyDeleteGod do I know that feeling, the one where people's eyes glaze over when you tell them about the 'good old days' and realise halfway through that they've heard the story forty-five times before this month alone.
ReplyDeleteI'm only 37 and I resemble this post. :O I dread to think when I'm 80. That'll teach me for partying hardy in my youth. I still need to get better at speaking my mind, though, to strangers and family. My husband would say I should stop speaking my mind. ;)
ReplyDeleteOh John......it is frustrating isn't it? Just when you feel you have the confidence and ability to handle life your body and mind start giving you trouble. Rats!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your feathered friends made it through the night okay.
No sympathy from me, John. What are you: 50 or an old man?
ReplyDeleteU
Love the comment above mine....I'll have to remember that. With age, come many good things. Don't worry about all that other stuff.
ReplyDeleteOk, now I am really worried...I am older than you so either I have this to come, or I'm so far gone I don't notice.
ReplyDeleteJane x
My most hated effect of aging is that my liver doesn't process alcohol like it ought. Why is God afflicting me with a hangover after only 2 glasses of red wine??!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, thank you, for this post, I nearly peed myself laughing (that'll be the 50 yr old woman for you). In public I am like the queen (ie I do not fart), in private.. watch out!!!
ReplyDelete50 hit me like a freight train this year no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no, oh okay then. Add to that the menopausal shite and, well you get the idea!
Susan
x
Yes, but do you repeat yourself all of the time?
ReplyDeleteWelcome aboard, John!
ReplyDeleteJoin the club John and print yourself a big sign saying "Shut all hen coops" - I leave myself notes all over the place.
ReplyDeleteGlad you caught up with the rest of us....you old fart! Oh and boxers allow better air movement, just thought I would mention that.
ReplyDeleteAm I really older than you? How strange...
ReplyDeleteIt's not us - it's 'THEM'. It's a conspiracy. Not sure what for, but a conspiracy it certainly is.
ReplyDeleteI spend half my time looking for things I have laid down and forgotten where.
ReplyDeleteI often get up to do something and forget what I came to that spot to do. I go back to the place I first thought of it, (how can I remember where I thought of it when I cannot remember what I was thinking?)and incredibly it comes back to me.
So to cheer you up, it only gets worse. I'm 57. Don't worry about farting although it is so unlady like for me to fart. The dogs don't mind. I dress how I want to and say just whatever comes to mind. Like is becoming quite easy...or did I forget how difficult it was?
Not quite there yet but scaring it. I agree there are some things that come with age that are so great. Like not caring what others think of you. Like saying what you think needs saying. Some of the others are not so great, having reading glasses all over the place and still you can't find a pair when you need them! :O)
ReplyDeleteYou were lucky in that the hens and rooster remained safe, yes, I think Brenden had you bum-fuddled.
ReplyDeleteI think I missed the Golden Years, and went straight to the Rusty Years ;)
~Jo
A lucky escape John. I can tick most of those boxes.... and I'm only 49 !
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by and checking up on me... very nice feeling that!
ReplyDeleteI have found (I'm 71) that when I forget things it is usually because there is something else I am thinking about that at the time is much more important than what I was supposed to be doing ...so you can take comfort in the fact that you are probably just taking care of or thinking of something of more concern. Sorry about the arthritis. I wear my knit cap in the house too... it's cold, the wood stove is not fired up yet... no rain yet to calm down the fire danger in the woods. As far as farting goes... I think people should feel free to fart when or wherever they are without compunction. Ever heard of the gas-maniac? People are too uptight now-a-days... now in the past...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evwLzR57wsc
He was famous! Made good money too! So... enjoy!
Ooh, and by the way, remember when I loaned you that money, I'll be looking for it back before the month is over !
ReplyDelete~Jo
Pretty comprehensive list; I won't add to it. You need a list like I found when I acquired an office. The previous occupant was the township road super, the poster child of thrift. Taped to the door as I exit was the list:
ReplyDeleteHeat down
Lights out
Door locked
Now the road super is ten years younger than you and thirty younger than me and not ashamed of living from a list. The question is, where will you post
Shut up the hen house.
I have been forgetful from time to time, too. It's usually when i'm tired or busily thinking about something else, and the thing which is so automatic to do that it's second nature, sometimes doesn't get done. If i try to remember doing it, i can't. so, i double check.
ReplyDeleteIf you're up at night to pee, maybe putting the list in the bathroom is a good idea? Unless you don't bother switching on the light.
I do have two pairs of 'cheaters' as i call the magnified specs. One pair is somewhere in the house, and the other is in the car, as one map i use most often has teeny print, and resting the map on the steering wheel isn't always far enough away these days for me to read the print. sigh.
Dammit - I had this really witty comment and now can't remember what I wanted to say.
ReplyDeleteI've a few years on you John, but I don't look at my age as anywhere near being in my fifties. I prefer to think of it as being 35, with 20 years of experience...
Yep! You are over 50! Now ....... Wait until you are over 70 !!!!! LoL!
ReplyDeleteCount me in too. Isn't is nice to know we're not on our own!
ReplyDeleteYou forgot to say you have a great deal of wisdom, love and empathy for people John.
ReplyDeleteOf course you forgot to say it you senile old git!x
Zimmer frame on its way to you via one of those new-fangled automobile thingys...
I have a decade (at least) over you John and I can tick all of the boxes above except the woolly hat. And unexpected farts can be a hazard when at my tai chi and yoga classes, but hey.
ReplyDeleteI'm another who keeps cheap specs all over the place, a pair in very room, the car, and every bag.
I found this post very uplifting. I am 60, and have just started on the forgetful thing. I thought I was getting senile, but I guess if it's happening to a young pup like you, I'm doing okay.
ReplyDeleteGreat. I have 15-1/2 months until I turn 50 and lose my mind and ability to hold in farts. Wait, it's already happening. Nevermind.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, though, it doesn't ALL sound bad! It's good not to give a flying f*ck what people think. And the 60+ ladies in my yoga class fart all the time, so I'll fit right in!
Take comfort in knowing you're in great company John!!
ReplyDeleteTwo words: post-it notes. I was so bad about forgetting stuff for a while, when friends were over to play cards, I had to put up a post-it note to myself to remind me to let our dog back in.
ReplyDeleteA zillion comments later should have convinced you that you are not alone. It is CRAFT syndrome (Can't Remember A F'ing Thing).
ReplyDeleteYes......what everybody said....all true......and farting is not something only men do.......I am horrified now to find that I am a prisoner of the 'bending over to pick something up and where the hell did that little old lady fart come from?' syndrome......makes me laugh at home but in the office its another story......
ReplyDeleteOh, John, if that's you at 50, I don't even want to think about what you'll be like at 80!
ReplyDeleteThis so resonates with me. xxxx
ReplyDeleteYep, me too :)
ReplyDeleteWelcome to our world, you young whippersnapper!
ReplyDelete