Friday, 21 September 2012

"I'm 83 you know!"

I have just spent a somewhat frustrating early afternoon trying to sort out an elderly neighbour's cardiac monitor. It is one of those monitors that picks up cardiac arrhythmias and contacts the hospital when the normal "bleep bleep" bounces into something more sinister. Various parts of the monitor had not been delivered, so armed with nothing more than the general hospital number, I had to try and find "who could sort it all out" on a Friday afternoon.....Friday afternoons are when hospital staff suddenly disappear into the woodwork.
I thought I had more or less sorted things when the old chap then asked me to set up a  new printer and scanner he had just had delivered, so there was more of the same as wires had to be connected and cds needed to be watched and their instructions followed.
I wonder who Chris and I will rely on when (and if) we ever reach our dotage .We have no children that could cushion the ravages of old age. We haven't even got any adopted Filapinos (aka Madonna) or surrogate babies like Wacko Jacko.... we will just have each other to depend upon when we get to that creaking old age when it takes half an hour for us to climb the stairs to bed, and when we finally get there, we've bloody well forgotten why we went up there in the first place!
Perhaps it will be Shady Pines for us eventually!  
I do hope not.
The prospect of some disinterested teenage support worker wiping my bum  with all the delicacy of an all-in wrestler after I alight from my commode, does not fill me with any warm feelings whatsoever.......

Gawd Help us

38 comments:

  1. This is why sometimes I subscribe to the Who's philosophy i.e. Hope I die before I get old! My kids plan to get me in the home for the bewildered as soon as they can!

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    1. I always thought I would feel like that, but I suspect I will cling on to my last breath

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  2. EARL - Loved the accompanying video. Human beings can be daft buggers can't they? They can also be exceedingly kind just as you were today for your elderly neighbour. What goes around comes around and if you have spread some love it will surely be there for you when you need it most. Besides, you probably still have a few months - perhaps even a year or two before you enter that crisis territory so chillax man!

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    1. YP...PERHAPS i will be adopted by a friendly flock of sheep when I need looking after

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    2. Regarding your last remark I shall again say nothing in case my meaning is misconstrued - or should that misconewed?

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  3. Having children does NOT insure help when we age, John. They do their darnedest to ignore our "helplessness" with the newfangled and after faster than lightning speed at showing us ONCE - "Well, I showed you how to do it!"

    I too hope I die before I get much more helpless...

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    1. dont go just yet SJ... I have a few interesting blogs to read next week

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    2. I'll hang in there as long as I can, John! ;-)

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  4. Add my vote to having children does not insure help. Though I am not in my dotage, but nearing--- I haven't noticed much interest in my well being--and the engineer son always tells me figure it out yourself--you will remember it better.

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  5. When mother, then 95, was recovering from her hip replacement the person sent to help her shower turned out to be a young Sikh gentleman....who telephoned his base and tore strips off the supervisor for potentially embarrassing an elderly lady.

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  6. I have just picked myself up off the floor after laughing .... the very idea of my children helping me in that way...you must be joking. The video was great.

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  7. I quite expect Aunty Gladys will be prepared to give you both a hand.

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  8. Not to worry, that nice Mr Cameron says that all will be well. If we give him all our money, property deeds, heirlooms, valuables etc he has promised to look after us in our very own Shady Pines, run by even shadier proprietors!

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  9. When discussing with my son my decision to have his sister (the politically-correct revsion of myself) as my POA for healthcare, he threw up his hands and said "Ma! She'll hook you up to a solar-powered ventilator! It's sunny, you live. It's cloudy . . . Hey. Not a bad idea. I need a new car".
    Go figure.

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  10. I too have the same concerns about our old age. At first I smugly decided Miss Chef, being 10 years younger, would be my old-age caretaker. Then I realized that leaving her to fend for herself after I pop off somehow didn't make me feel any better. And SJ's engineer son reminds me of my own brother--I'm planning on being my parents' only real "overseer" as they age.

    Bloody hell, this is depressing. More sheep jokes!

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  11. Sister-out-law, best pal and me are starting a commune when we get older (the men folk don't seem to figure in our plans). We reason we can't all go doolally at the same time. And as my best pal isn't short of a bob or two, she'll pay for a Sven to care for our every need. Oh yes, it's going to be fun.

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    1. Andi, please add me to your commune's resident list....you may need to order more Svens.
      Jane x

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  12. Getting to the old and fragile state is not a happy thought for any of us.

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  13. he's very with-it, to have taken delivery of a new printer and printer.
    This reminds me of an old gentleman I met once, when trying to help someone fix their fence. Their dog had been tresspassing on the neighbours garden and he was not amused. He told me indignantly "I've had half my insides removed you know!".

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  14. "It takes half an hour for us to climb the stairs to bed, and when we finally get there, we've bloody well forgotten why we went up there in the first place!" I like it.

    Jenny and I are in the same situation, we don't have any children. Frankly I hope I snuff it before I get to the helpless, confused and drooling stage.

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  15. *Sigh* My friends, Bob & Tim, are in the same boat. Naught even a niece or nephew on either side of the family to fall back on ... friends and cousins only. I am hoping our youngest son, who every thing is left to btw, steps up to the plate, as I have been grooming him for the position. Ha !

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  17. Hopefully there will be some kind neighbor to help you as well, John.
    *hugs*
    Have a wonderful day and a better weekend!

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  18. As a childless only child married to another childless only child, I'm just planning on saving up enough money to pay for help when I'm old and crusty! :) That, or maybe I'll be extra, extra nice to my godson. ;)

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  19. PS Good on you for giving the old neighbour some help. I'm sure whey you're 83, someone will be doing the same for you! :)

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  20. I'd also like to reserve a spot at Andi's commune.
    Like you, John, we have no children, either, and while i have wonderful neighbours, i'm among the youngest on our street.

    I have to hope that if the time comes, someone shall be there for me. Old age isn't something everyone reaches.

    Loved the video.

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  21. Had a great laugh at the video it was great. At least we old people can laugh at each other.

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  22. Just got home and was able to watch the video. Had tears in my eyes, and not from crying!

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  23. I have no children and I told my mother all the time that she couldn't leave this earth because who was going to take care of me if she did. My mom didn't listen, departed, and left me alone this past June. I was her care giver and have pretty much taken care of her for the past 5 years She broke my heart when she decided to go. It's been the hardest thing I've ever experienced. I laugh, but I was talking to a friend last night about starting our own commune so we could look after one another! Yes, I am a 60's child! Peace and Love!

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  24. We are lucky to have two children who we hope will look after us...........but we shouldn't really count on them, as they have their own lives to live, and we don't want to be a burden to them.

    Gill in Canada

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  25. I think and hope that there will be a 'senior home' that is 'gay-friendly'! Not that it would matter at that point, but it could as long as I know who I am! I don't think it's fair or good to expect ones children to take care of you. Maybe start pressuring our governments to set up better places in which we can spend our final years?

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  26. Why were people laughing at the Senior Synchronised Swimming. I suspect I could not do as well.

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  27. It's not an appealing prospect, old age. But as my old granny once said "I don't want to live to be 100..." before adding thoughtfully "...but I expect I shall when I'm 99!"

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  28. I have made my kids promise to NOT step up and care for me if and when I go doolally.....probably a place that Shooting Parrots could imagine......this commune idea could be a goer though.......if we all group together and nobody minds the smell of piss and biscuits we could be ok?

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  29. Take my advice and marry someone twelve years younger!

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  30. You don't need children; all you need is good neighbours like yourself.

    The video was so funny!

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  31. I'd like a place in that commune too. Loved the video!

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