"I'll have to go, I've got a vole stuck up the Dyson"
This must be the quote of the week which was uttered by me in frustration after an egg customer knocked on the door as I attempted to dismantle the hoover in a somewhat surreal attempt to locate one of Albert's victims who had somehow squeezed himself up the nozzle as I vacuumed under the kitchen sofa.
It took me an absolute age to find him ( in the end I located him only an inch or so up the tube in the end!) and by the time I had "Blown"him free ( yes I did actually blow down one end of the nozzle!!!) the little chap was gasping his last.
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| A Vole In One |
I placed him carefully onto the arm of the sofa so I could usher an excited Albert out of the catflap and when I had turned, George, who had been watching the proceedings with true Scottish terrier seriousness, sneaked up behind me and had carried out a swift "coup de grâce " by munching the vole like a kid would eat a Mars bar..
Nature's red in tooth and claw!
Hey Ho...
Before I go to de-louse the goose house, I will leave you with this wonderfully infectious video of BBC tv commentators cheering Mo Farrah's Olympic gold performance
Where is that British reserve when you need it eh?
Nature's red in tooth and claw!
Hey Ho...
Before I go to de-louse the goose house, I will leave you with this wonderfully infectious video of BBC tv commentators cheering Mo Farrah's Olympic gold performance
Where is that British reserve when you need it eh?
oh and I won't forget the latest of Team GB's pin up's
The dignified, articulate and poised Louis Smith
That is one of the funniest things I have read this week. I am giggling as I type. How many people could say that they had sucked a vole up with the vacume cleaner. Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteThere is no end to the pin-ups at the Olympics is there John? As for that Vole - as you say - Nature red in tooth and claw - I suppose a fairly quick end to the poor old vole though.
ReplyDeleteNever a dull moment under your feet, John !
ReplyDeleteAlbert may not forgive you for that one.
ReplyDeleteMmmm... Vole Bars.
ReplyDeleteA vole a day makes you pert, blessed and gay.
'Before I go to de-louse the goose house' probably runs it a close second as quote of the week.
ReplyDeleteNever trust a vole; they'll shin up anything.
ReplyDeleteYP just killed me!!
ReplyDeleteJane x
YP
ReplyDeleteTHE prize GOES TO YOU!!!
X
That's the weirdest thing, when my husband and I met, he asked for a date and I said "I can't come out tonight, I'm de-lousing my goose house". Now how spooky is that?
ReplyDeleteYou lead such an exciting life!
ReplyDeleteFamily actually came in to see what the noise was about I was laughing so hard (and I'm still laughing).
ReplyDeleteWell, there's something you don't see every day.
ReplyDeleteI'm with SP.
ReplyDeleteGeorge is a bit of an opportunist now, isn't he?
When our Angus dispatched a mouse we knew by his little lips puckered like a bung hole. He was waiting to spit it out. Albert is smiling. He knows the whole drill.
ReplyDeleteAfter the flower show, I think you need to start working on the Scruffy Farmer British Olympics. Vole-sucking, goose house de-lousing, dog poo hurling, hysterical duck herding, synchronized cat farting...the possibilities are truly endless. And hearing it all described with a posh British accent--priceless.
ReplyDeleteLoved this post! Thank you for the wonderful poem....
ReplyDeleteNow that is something you don't read every day.
ReplyDeleteYP I have just spat tea all over my computer keyboard!
ReplyDeleteSo funny - the original post AND the comments.
We get shrews up the dyson - doesn't have quite the same ring, though ( lacks the alliteration I guess!)
I use my Dyson to creep up on houseflies when they sleep (yes, they do sleep). We don't have a rodent problem, but if we did, I'm not sure the twin vortex would finish them off anyway.
ReplyDeleteWe are having a problem with rats in the chicken house, may I borrow your Dyson?
ReplyDeleteHahaha, oh dear! My cat, Luna, wrapped a mouse's innards around my new Hetty hoover last week. I still can't quite get it all out of the grooves in the tube. Not impressed!
ReplyDeleteHannah
George's picture and YP's comment say it all
ReplyDeleteChortle. What a total hoot.
ReplyDeleteI've sucked a few valuable items into the Hoover in my time and had to dig around in the dustbag - not always successfully. But I've never sucked up a living creature. Or at least not to my knowledge....
ReplyDeleteyou havent lived nick!
ReplyDelete"Vole bars"...YP gets the prize. "A vole in one" is pretty good too, though.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great quote!
ReplyDeleteI love Alison's ^ suggestions for events in a Scruffy Farmer Olympics.
I guess George needed a bit of fresh protein... ;o)
ReplyDeleteHave a good night and a great Tuesday, John. :o)
This story gave me the best laugh! And, I needed one!!
ReplyDeleteI sadly have never had that experience.
ReplyDeleteSo funny!!!
Just when the vole thought it was safe....
ReplyDelete