Monday, 6 August 2012

A Vole Up The Dyson

"I'll have to go, I've got a vole stuck up the Dyson"

This must be the quote of the week which was uttered by me in frustration after an egg customer knocked on the door as I attempted to dismantle the hoover in a somewhat surreal attempt to locate one of Albert's victims who had somehow squeezed himself up the nozzle as I vacuumed under the kitchen sofa.
It took me an absolute age to find him ( in the end I located him only an inch or so up the tube in the end!) and by the time I had "Blown"him free ( yes I did actually blow down one end of the nozzle!!!) the little chap was gasping his last.


A Vole In One

I placed him carefully onto the arm of the sofa so I could usher an excited Albert out of the catflap and when I had turned, George, who had been watching the proceedings with true Scottish terrier seriousness,  sneaked up behind me and had carried out a swift "coup de grâce " by munching the vole like a kid would eat a Mars bar..

Nature's red in tooth and claw!

Hey Ho...

Before I go to de-louse the goose house, I will leave you with this wonderfully infectious video of BBC tv commentators cheering Mo Farrah's Olympic gold performance

Where is that British reserve when you need it eh?



oh and I won't forget the latest of Team GB's pin up's

The dignified, articulate and poised Louis Smith

34 comments:

  1. That is one of the funniest things I have read this week. I am giggling as I type. How many people could say that they had sucked a vole up with the vacume cleaner. Brilliant.

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  2. There is no end to the pin-ups at the Olympics is there John? As for that Vole - as you say - Nature red in tooth and claw - I suppose a fairly quick end to the poor old vole though.

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  3. Never a dull moment under your feet, John !

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  4. Anonymous11:56 am

    Albert may not forgive you for that one.

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  5. Mmmm... Vole Bars.
    A vole a day makes you pert, blessed and gay.

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  6. 'Before I go to de-louse the goose house' probably runs it a close second as quote of the week.

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  7. Never trust a vole; they'll shin up anything.

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  8. YP just killed me!!
    Jane x

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  9. YP
    THE prize GOES TO YOU!!!
    X

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  10. That's the weirdest thing, when my husband and I met, he asked for a date and I said "I can't come out tonight, I'm de-lousing my goose house". Now how spooky is that?

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  11. You lead such an exciting life!

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  12. Family actually came in to see what the noise was about I was laughing so hard (and I'm still laughing).

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  13. Well, there's something you don't see every day.

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  14. I'm with SP.

    George is a bit of an opportunist now, isn't he?

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  15. When our Angus dispatched a mouse we knew by his little lips puckered like a bung hole. He was waiting to spit it out. Albert is smiling. He knows the whole drill.

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  16. After the flower show, I think you need to start working on the Scruffy Farmer British Olympics. Vole-sucking, goose house de-lousing, dog poo hurling, hysterical duck herding, synchronized cat farting...the possibilities are truly endless. And hearing it all described with a posh British accent--priceless.

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  17. Loved this post! Thank you for the wonderful poem....

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  18. Now that is something you don't read every day.

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  19. YP I have just spat tea all over my computer keyboard!

    So funny - the original post AND the comments.

    We get shrews up the dyson - doesn't have quite the same ring, though ( lacks the alliteration I guess!)

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  20. I use my Dyson to creep up on houseflies when they sleep (yes, they do sleep). We don't have a rodent problem, but if we did, I'm not sure the twin vortex would finish them off anyway.

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  21. We are having a problem with rats in the chicken house, may I borrow your Dyson?

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  22. tom, this one was moribund BEFORE the first suck!

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  23. Hahaha, oh dear! My cat, Luna, wrapped a mouse's innards around my new Hetty hoover last week. I still can't quite get it all out of the grooves in the tube. Not impressed!

    Hannah

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  24. George's picture and YP's comment say it all

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  25. Chortle. What a total hoot.

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  26. I've sucked a few valuable items into the Hoover in my time and had to dig around in the dustbag - not always successfully. But I've never sucked up a living creature. Or at least not to my knowledge....

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  27. "Vole bars"...YP gets the prize. "A vole in one" is pretty good too, though.

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  28. What a great quote!
    I love Alison's ^ suggestions for events in a Scruffy Farmer Olympics.

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  29. I guess George needed a bit of fresh protein... ;o)

    Have a good night and a great Tuesday, John. :o)

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  30. This story gave me the best laugh! And, I needed one!!

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  31. I sadly have never had that experience.

    So funny!!!

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  32. Just when the vole thought it was safe....

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