Friday, 11 May 2012

Things Change, Things Stay The Same

We are all just like chickens.
Well, to be more specific,
our lives are somewhat similar to those experienced by my colourful "crackhead whores", to Vinegar Tits' battling existence 
to Sorrel and her kamikaze chick's peaceful salad days.
Like them, we all just bumble on
Most of us live within the physical and psychological confines of our own back yards.
Sure we have the complications of paying bills, of family traumas, personal triumphs,  milestones, disasters and the "colour" of life in this complicated modern world, but essentially we are chickens, bumbling along together ,
the great and the good .

Now where am I going with all this?
Well , I'll tell you comes from catching up with old friends,
it comes from a timely email from a loved one across the globe
and it comes from the timely realisation that the banalities of life often "take over" from what is important in the world. And that is our relationships.

As a gay man of a certain "age" I have always prided myself on keeping in touch with people.
I think of myself as "thoughtful" 
I "make the effort" so to speak
And for the most part ( and when comparing myself to the male species in general) I think I am pretty good and touching base.. but in recent times I have let that slide somewhat.
A birthday forgotten, an email not sent, a phone call not made
You all know the story.

yadda yadda yadda
Over the last couple of days I caught up with a year's worth of friend news.
Some news, like my own was normal banality.
Other news was much more poignant and important.

On both sides.

and it was good to share.

It's easy to get out of the habit


  1. relationships... hmm...

    see for many many years I avoided them - still do largely if I'm honest - see in a relationship there is an indebtedness from me to you, you to me... I always worry I'll let you down therefore I don't engage. I'm getting better but I'm not good at it... :-)

  2. Tis very true that John. Easy to get sidetracked by the boring drudge stuff that, unfortunately, still needs to get done.

    Your efforts are always appreciated.x

  3. I think you've had enough going on in your life this past year that you can be excused for forgetting a birthday here or there.
    But it's nice to catch up.

  4. It is easy to lose touch with the people who matter in our lives. And therefore good that you've made up for such lapses. I should take a leaf out of your book. I too can be tad reclusive at times.

  5. wise words John, I shall make some phone calls this weekend.
    I love The Terriers of Trelawnyd pic!

  6. You might be a frigging chicken mate but I'm a great ape.

  7. Indeed, it's important to keep up with friends and share news and experiences, and as you say it's easy to let friendships slip amid the daily turmoil. Especially when you have a sprawling menagerie to look after!

  8. Well done John. Yesterday I had lunch with a dear friend I had not seen in a LONG time. We once stood toe to toe over many a dying patient's bed in our hospice years together. Now she suffers with horrible depression and hadn't been out of the house for months. I didn't know. Until I called her. Lets all call some old friends this weekend!!!

  9. Agreed. I called some old friends to say hello and left voicemail messages. I've followed up a few times with one, but to no avail.

    Time to try again.

  10. It's always a pleasure to catch up with old friends. Then I retreat back into my own little world....

  11. I said my hellos now I'm heading back to my chicken house.

  12. It so is - Ive got far too bogged down in the domesticaty of life lately. Its starting to get me down. x

  13. I seem to have a pretty small circle of friends, (though my blogging circle of cyber friends is growing large by the day!). Even then, I do often fall out of the habit of keeping in touch.

    Our lives just spin about and we tend to stay in our own little bubble at times. I do need to be better, thanks for the reminder.

  14. have to say...just found your it!!!
    alison,up the road on the wirral!

  15. Which reminds me; I still have not put several important Mother's Day cards in the mail, and the event is this Sunday. My sisters, my daughter, my best friend! I just let the days roll over me.....

    Nancy in Iowa

  16. You must be exhausted ! Catching up involves a lot of chat & a lot of listening ( and usually a lot of booze !)

  17. I like keeping in touch and catching up; what I don't like when it is one sided. After a couple of efforts on my part, I tend to let things go, as some people have just gone on with their own lives and too busy for others at times.

  18. Anonymous9:14 pm

    "How To Fill A Hole" by J. Gray

    So it was everything most nourishing, sounds like. I'm glad it was good. And thanks for the reminder. You're so, so's all too easy to forget.

  19. It's easy to get out of the habit?

    I'm having nun of it!

  20. We all do things like that. I'll call tomorrow, I'll visit next week, and before you know it, it is next month. You say to yourself, well, they could have called me, they could have visited me - and then time goes by too quickly.

    There are so many of my friends that have gotten sick lately, and sometimes I feel overwhelmed. However, I make sure I call each one during the week and send funny cards to cheer them up. Could I do more, yes.

  21. Our lives are becoming increasingly more isolated despite our world continuing to shrink!

    Instant contact with you in Wales, Tom in Angola, Wendy in Indonesia(or parts thereof) Cindy and Jim in Canada (Ontario and Nova Scotia) but my brother's phone - 100 klicks up the road - rings out to voicemail and he will not have a computer in the house! lol!

  22. I will 'second' that!

  23. glad you got to catch up

  24. You're absolutely right !

  25. You're right John--I'm glad I got to 'catch up' with you this evening!

    Enjoy your weekend!!

  26. Your words echo my own feelings today. It's Mother's Day in NZ, and I've been thinking about all the amazing women who've been 'there' for me.

    Life's about people.

  27. And I bet you wonder at times like these if you oughtn't to pull back a bit on blogging? I know it can take me eight hours to write a real letter to a friend. Yeah I know, I do go on a bit :-)


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