Thursday, 2 February 2012

Slag!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"And your fans think you're all heart..."
and so said a close friend of mine that read a somewhat acerbic comment I wrote about the Occupy Sheffield demonstrators.... 
and he is right in what he said......I am not the Mary Poppins of Welsh poultry, or the Francis of Assissi of Flintshire....at times I can be as bad tempered and as much of an old bastard  as anyone out there in blogland ......and that's official.
I don't loose my temper often, but when I do, I can easily do a cracking impression of Aurora (Shirley McClaine) loosing it , from the movie Terms of Endearment

I have not got time now to tell you exactly How I lost my temper early this morning after I had left work for home.... suffice to say that it involved a rather common woman in tracksuit bottoms at the petrol station........and the phrase " you Rancid old slag!"

51 comments:

  1. Who called whom a 'rancid old slag'?

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  2. Hehehe!
    May I advise just a spoonful of sugar?

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  3. Well done you! It does you good sometimes to vent a bit of rage. Now a nice cup of coffee and a chocolate biscuit (yes i do know you are dieting) before you tuck yourself up in bed for a sleep after a night's work and you'll be back to normal.

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  4. hahahaha, I thought you said stag, and not slag and couldn't figure it out!!! It's too early I guess...I'll wait for the next chapter!

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  5. I guess we can all be rancid old slags, that's the truth.

    Lana

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  6. I called her a rancid old slag
    she called me
    a (and I quote) "a fucking ponce"

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  7. Sometimes it just has to be said.

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  8. Mmm... I just love rancid old slag - it is delightful on hot buttered toast. As for the Sheffield Cathedral demonstrators, I say all power to 'em! The "system" has long been in need of a big kick up the bum and it's easy to sit in our armchairs and do nothing. I am just off into town. I shall take them a lunchbox full of rancid old slag sandwiches and some tubs of "Fucking Ponce" natural yoghurt.

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  9. I do hope this wasn't Mrs Trellis.

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  10. I saw a few greasy old slags today, much like a rancid old slag. It should be law that all personal hygiene matters and tasteful dress should be sorted before these people leave the house and clutter up society! Love Froogs xx

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  11. Oh dear! but then sometimes it just has to be said.

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  12. yp
    take them some wet wipes and air freashener when you are at it! x

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  13. SNORT!! At least your meltdowns are colourful!
    Oh... how I love Terms of Endearment. Love, love, wistful sighs.. no rancid slags in that film.

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  14. She called you a rancid old slag???? Outrageous....... :-)

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  15. Once again, the eduational John Gray - I have no idea what a 'rancid old slag' is [though I do know ''rancid' and 'old'] and I'm going to have to look up 'ponce' One needs a translator book with your blog!

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  16. JG, I bet you'd rather be a fucking ponce (shows you still got it in you), than a rancid old slag.

    With the move in full swing, my temper is as frayed as it can get and I can tell you, my language is a damn sight more colorful than that.

    At least at my new place, I'll have a river emptying into the Atlantic in which to hurriedly dispose of the bodies.

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  17. I had a bit of a rant with the wife of plot holder a couple of weeks ago. As she screamed in my face, can of lager in one hand, fag in the other, I calmly(ish) informed her that 'she was a dried up old hag and extremely ugly'.

    I'd like to say it ended well...

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  18. Ooohh, can't wait to hear the full version. See you at 3.xxx

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  19. OH, I am so disappointed, John, I thought you were perfect!

    We all have our spots, some just show them more than others.

    I would like to hear this story!

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  20. Haha.

    I could lose my temper over a lot of the 'Occupiers', too. Ugh.

    Hope your day got better, John! ♥

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  21. Not sure what a rancid old slag is but does sound like a fun expression to be used at the right occasion.

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  22. I think she got off lightly.
    Jane x

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  23. I can see why you'd be offended if she only had the track suit bottoms and forgotten the top.

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  24. What bad luck to meet Waynetta Slob when you were tired and grumpy x

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  25. LOLOL! That's about how I felt waiting for the freakin' doctor to show up and give me my freakin' epidural... but I've already said too much!

    "Rancid old slag"... classic.

    I hope one day, when you're over the trauma, you can reveal more about the actions of this rancid old slag!

    Wait a minute, I'm wearing joggy bottoms...

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  26. Is it an English expression? I had never heard it before. If you don't mind, I would like to borrow the term. There is someone I would like to call just that. I'm just laying in wait now, waiting for the right moment ....

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  27. When somebody strikes me the wrong way, I feel like it is an opportunity to heal the part of myself that was angered/hurt. I know... I am all fluff.

    I do like the new vocabulary words. You should do a "Word-A-Day" for us. You are off to a great start! :-)

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  28. Do you think you could just be short of Vitamin D? Or you may have pernicious aenemia - as you are starting to sound a tad like my Gaz! Get a sun lamp and have your bloods checked before you get into a fight (as I fear you may not win if it comes to that - ive seen those rancid old slags fight!) xxxxx

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  29. diane... she was a bit of a "druggie" I suspect..... and was trying to get away with paying 5 £ for a tenners worth of petrol.....
    the cashier was having non of it and the woman kicked off.... when I and another guy in the queue told her to "get on with it" she kicked off even more.....
    I have seen people like this girl before... they think that if they scream , shout and cry loud enough, they will be let off a misdemenour.....

    and yes she caught me at my worst..... tired, cold and on a diet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  30. '....a rather common woman...' Well, excusez-moi! You really do have a way of not mincing (no pun intended) words!
    I always attempt at least to figure out the 'driving force' behind outbursts of anger. It usually is never what immediately preceded said 'outburst' that can be blamed.....that poor dear is somebody's mother/daughter/friend. Just sayin'.....

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  31. jim
    she was a racid old slag!

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  32. There are some days, when I read your blog, I just laugh.

    When are you going to write your book?

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  33. I'm a fan and I knew you weren't saint whoever from wherever! Since I've been on my mood elevator (the one I don't think goes all the way to the top) I can't even work up a good snarky comment much less a mighty verbal punch right to the solar plexus...so yay for you and well done! Ya know I'm dying to hear all about it...sorry sometimes I have no couth...at all!

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  34. "Rancid" - one of my favourite words. Followed by "old slag" it's just sheer poetry. I hope she had some sort of top over those trackie bottoms.

    Chris's comment made me laugh out loud as well.

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  35. I cracked up at your post, then I read the comments and laughed even more! I needed that today, thank you! Thank you John and thank you all the commenters!!

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  36. cro
    mrs Trellis is a sweet old lady with a big dog!

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  37. 1st you are welcome

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  38. You could have called her an 'illiterate, rancid old slag' - surely she meant 'poof', not 'ponce'?

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  39. she said ponce! well she infact shrieked "fucking ponce!"
    for what it's worth

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  40. Wonder if she's got a blog too...

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  41. she couldn't spell "blog"

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  42. oh... I have just heard myself!
    apologies......
    tee hee

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  43. She's not the rancid old slag you overheard having an argument with her turd of a husband whilst you were delivering eggs, was she?

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  44. no tom look back in the comments...she was trying to get 10 quids worth of petrol for 5.... a chancer that was well known to the garage .........

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  45. Well, at least your insult was original. And rather witty. I do believe Churchill would have approved.

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  46. I'll definitely be borrowing this one! Thanks John!

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  47. Pernicious aenemia sounds like something that would go good with rancid old slag. As in "I'll have the rancid old slag on buttered toast with a side of pernicious aenemia please." "Oh, and coffee, thank you."

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  48. Filing away "rancid old slag" for future use!

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  49. Oh, my! That has GOT to be put in the memory file for future nastygrams!! Heh...

    Cat

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  50. Rancid old slag is one of the best names I have heard for a long time, You crack me up. well done.

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