I think that parents should have to stub their children out in a damp-sand bucket as they board a public aeroplane and then make new replacement ones (if they want) when they land wherever they are going.
Not immediately, I mean they should leave the airport and get a room first, we're not talking rumpy pumpy as they taxi towards East Midlands Arrivals or anything. And they should only make new ones if they have the quiet gene. And the not run up and down gene. And a licence from somewhere difficult to get a licence from (with a stupendous fee).
N.B. I can only say this because at the vile, stinky, squitting age of six months I screamed on a flight from England to Hong Kong - in the days of turbo-props and when it took THREE DAYS FLYING to make the trip. I can't believe that no-one opened a door and shoved me out (I would have done).
Other than that, I have no strong opinions on the matter.
In your words John -'I love that woman's expression - been there - wearing the expression watching it. But it did make me laugh all the same, thanks for posting
The two g'kids scream at the same time, some time I can actually feel my ear drums vibrate! If I flew anymore I'd take me some extra duty sleeping pills and wake up when we got there (or not)!
It's also not just kids, Don and I were on a flight from Phoenix AZ to Pittsburgh PA with the contestants from a bowling tournament...I'd have rather have had the screaming kid!
Ohhhh.... many of the horrors of annoying small children can be laid at the feet of clueless, stupid parents. My son started flying cross-country with me at 8 days old. As an infant, I would try to schedule flights at nap times, or I'd keep him awake come hell or high water until we got on the plane. I'd nurse or give him a bottle on take-off (no ear pain then) and he'd sleep all the way, with another drink on desent. Car-seat was a MUST, because then he'd treat the plane like a car and know he couldn't go anywhere. As a toddler I kept the same nap tricks, and I'd purchase a new matchbox car and a book for the flight ($5 well spent) He knew not to kick seats, and he has been flying solo since age 5. I did whatever necessary to keep him entertained until he fell asleep.
Sigh. Parenthood should require the same application process as adoption.
There was a screaming baby at Shirley's graduation ceremony. I wanted to say to the mother - "Get that frigging kid out of here and stop spoiling everybody else's special day!" but of course I didn't... I dropped it from the balcony instead!
I used to fly quiet frequently with my children. I carried a whole bag of bribes and distraction. I would be in a full sweat the entire ride. Praying to any God that would listen to me that my kids stayed quiet. Only once did I have a screamer. Ear ache. I made the same faces as the lady in the video. But with sweat dripping down my face, eyes darting around to see who might want to kill me or my kid.
I have to say I can hear the ear pain in that child's cry (been there) but I also am hoping that my Wednesday flight to the UK is ear pain free for me! The last time I flew to England with my 17 year old she was 17 months old... so apologies after the event to those who suffered her cries. And John, I hope the storm has abated by the time I arrive!
"Do you like puppies?" says the flight attendant to the little girl...
...she'd be arrested by the thought police for evening thinking to say that to a child in the UK.
More sensibly, I notice that the plane has not yet taken off in this video, and according to the tannoy, there's going to be a delay of over an hour.
I would be telling lies if I said that my heart wouldn't sink if this was me, although I suspect the child would calm down once the flight had started.
At least they are trying to placate 'Princess Fiona'.
Here in the UK, one is often frustrated by (usually middle-class) parents who, when travelling on trains, encourage their offspring to 'explore and learn' during the journey...
...whilst 'working-class' parents tell their children firmly to 'shut up'...and, guess what... a silent journey normally prevails.
I hope your flight on Wednesday goes OK. BUT please be prepared for a potentially LONG wait in immigration control - there is a national strike here in the UK on Wednesday, and long delays in airports are anticipated (particularly Heathrow).
Flying back from Beijing in 2001 my friend had a boy with Tourettes syndrome sat behind her. He sneezed/coughed the whole flight spraying mucous all over her each time. He and his sister spent a lot of time playing snap. The parents of these children had bulkhead seats about 5 rows in front and across the aisle from them.
catching up with all that has been happening in your life. Love, love Mabel. Have kids all grown up now, but do believe, kids should be seen, but not heard!!
I am so grateful for "The Owl Wood." Anything I've been thinking now seems so kind and diplomatic. Anyway, I've got a 7-hour flight to NY coming up in a week. Oh, dread!
I seem to bring out the scream in children. The screaming ones follow me, too, attracted in some intangible magnetic way. My spouse thought i was simply just too sensitive to children's cries (jangles my nerves straightaway, and i applaud Owl Wood's stubbing out bucket); until we were in any number of places where he, too, confirmed that i attract the screaming mimis.
I recently saw an article somewhere on the Web not allowing children under a certain age on flights (or maybe it was just first class seating).
I realise the parents aren't always at fault and applaud those who take great pains to try and avoid such experiences. But to the others who simply think the rest of us ought to buck up and bear it, um no. Stub bucket for you and all your progeny. We are not amused.
I speak as someone who regularly had to fly between Dubai and England with three very young children - the youngest being under a year old, one of 3 and another aged 4. (These flights were usually without my husband, so no help there) I coped, I kept them quiet, entertained with books, etc, they stayed in their seats and were well behaved. It was hell for me; bloody hard work, however, I did it out of respect for the other passengers.
Don't blame it on the kids, blame it on their parents.
PS Owl Wood was a bally awful noisy and snotty little kid. To be fair though, he has improved a little with age.
I tend to agree with Kate & Elaine. Was it my imagination when the camera flicked over to the child and mom was playing deaf (and paying attention to something to her left)? The child needed distraction/attention, which she got -- from someone else. SIGH.
If you haven't seen it, I recommend Bill Cosby's video "Himself." One of the bits is about a loud-mouthed kid named Jeffrey who makes a flight pure hell for the other passengers ... and how they handle the situation after the tyke finally falls asleep. Hysterical!
I'm confused as to what the kid is screaming about... credit to Roz in that she only ever had fits of such magnitude when it was 'time to go home', in which case I could carry her upside down back to the car, or home from the park, etc. That was horrific enough. *shiver*
Oh please! My earplugs and patience got ejected from Elaine onwards. Give me a mother's break and the reality of Owl Wood any day. Those planes are cattle trucks.
I developed a great solution for seat kickers. First I'd try my Evil Mom From Hell glare, which is fairly effective. For the hardened little seat-kicking monsters, I'd interupt the parent who was zoned out in a magazine or iPod and ask them to switch seats with me. As I would point out, they could ignore their children just as well from MY seat, AND they'd get to enjoy the kidney massage that their little angel was currently giving to me. (Saying this in a syrupy sweet voice with a giant crocodile smile tended to work wonders. I'd usually offer to summon the flight attendant to help her move her belongings.) I actually had one (bloody clueless) mom accept the seat switch! After about 90 seconds, the kid kicked the seat hard enough to send the mom's internal organs to first class. Mom's reaction: "Ow! That hurt!" (but no scolding the child) About 2 minutes later, the kid aimed another kick, but before it could land, I grabbed his foot, got nose to nose with him, and read him the riot act. I honestly don't think anyone had ever gainsayed this child before. He didn't kick the rest of the flight. I spent much of my 15 years with the airline flying hither and yon, and it used to make me nuts when people would tell me I was "lucky" that I had a well behaved flyer for a son. Luck, h***! I worked like crazy to teach him to be a well-mannered little ginger. LOL!
I had a kid kick my seat on and off on a flight from Vancouver to Cambodia. It was NOT pretty and the mother didn't stop it even when asked to. The woman filming this was pretty darn tolerant if you ask me! :)
Just for clarity: Owl Wood is my younger brother. He is both allergic to children, and the very best of uncles. He is, and always was, adored by my three (now grown up) children. It didn't mean he wanted to be pestered by them though.
I had to make sure that my kids respected his space.
I have 'The Look', as my friends have dubbed it that works well. to date, i've not had a seat kicker on the plane, but have in the theatre or at restaurants.
Once in the theatre, when i realised the child was only going to kick harder given that he was eating lots of sugar, i turned around and told the parent that either he could get his child to stop kicking my seat or i would. 'Trust me,' i continued, 'if you don't wish to do your job as parent, i shall.'
The parent was mortified, and i must have had The Look ramped up to Bloody Scary because both the parent and kid froze.
Elaine, i think your brother Owl Wood and i could be related. I feel the same way about kiddoes.
It's a lot to expect kids to be calm and quiet on a long plane trip. Heck, it's a lot to expect from me.
ReplyDeletedelores...u are sweet
ReplyDeleteI would have put her in the baggage hold
I think that parents should have to stub their children out in a damp-sand bucket as they board a public aeroplane and then make new replacement ones (if they want) when they land wherever they are going.
ReplyDeleteNot immediately, I mean they should leave the airport and get a room first, we're not talking rumpy pumpy as they taxi towards East Midlands Arrivals or anything. And they should only make new ones if they have the quiet gene. And the not run up and down gene. And a licence from somewhere difficult to get a licence from (with a stupendous fee).
N.B. I can only say this because at the vile, stinky, squitting age of six months I screamed on a flight from England to Hong Kong - in the days of turbo-props and when it took THREE DAYS FLYING to make the trip. I can't believe that no-one opened a door and shoved me out (I would have done).
Other than that, I have no strong opinions on the matter.
The children. R.R.Future.
At least they didn't turn the plane around like they did when Gerard Depardieu pissed in the aisle.
ReplyDeleteIn your words John -'I love that woman's expression - been there - wearing the expression watching it. But it did make me laugh all the same, thanks for posting
ReplyDeleteah but Gerard French Tom, so that's alright....
ReplyDeleteOWL
I love you!
I would have loved to hear what how she REALLY felt! I can just imagine! lol
ReplyDeleteThe two g'kids scream at the same time, some time I can actually feel my ear drums vibrate! If I flew anymore I'd take me some extra duty sleeping pills and wake up when we got there (or not)!
ReplyDeleteIt's also not just kids, Don and I were on a flight from Phoenix AZ to Pittsburgh PA with the contestants from a bowling tournament...I'd have rather have had the screaming kid!
Earplugs or headphones are a nice accessory for airline travel...
ReplyDeleteOhhhh.... many of the horrors of annoying small children can be laid at the feet of clueless, stupid parents. My son started flying cross-country with me at 8 days old. As an infant, I would try to schedule flights at nap times, or I'd keep him awake come hell or high water until we got on the plane. I'd nurse or give him a bottle on take-off (no ear pain then) and he'd sleep all the way, with another drink on desent. Car-seat was a MUST, because then he'd treat the plane like a car and know he couldn't go anywhere. As a toddler I kept the same nap tricks, and I'd purchase a new matchbox car and a book for the flight ($5 well spent) He knew not to kick seats, and he has been flying solo since age 5. I did whatever necessary to keep him entertained until he fell asleep.
ReplyDeleteSigh. Parenthood should require the same application process as adoption.
Katie in MN (kicking away the soapbox)
There was a screaming baby at Shirley's graduation ceremony. I wanted to say to the mother - "Get that frigging kid out of here and stop spoiling everybody else's special day!" but of course I didn't... I dropped it from the balcony instead!
ReplyDeleteOn my last flight, I had a kid kicking the back of my seat the entire time. Dirty looks didn't stop it.
ReplyDeleteReason to pack a parachute.
ReplyDeleteI used to fly quiet frequently with my children. I carried a whole bag of bribes and distraction. I would be in a full sweat the entire ride. Praying to any God that would listen to me that my kids stayed quiet. Only once did I have a screamer. Ear ache. I made the same faces as the lady in the video. But with sweat dripping down my face, eyes darting around to see who might want to kill me or my kid.
ReplyDeleteI never did understand why the adults got all the alchohol on planes when it was obvious who needed a cocktail most.
ReplyDeleteI have to say I can hear the ear pain in that child's cry (been there) but I also am hoping that my Wednesday flight to the UK is ear pain free for me! The last time I flew to England with my 17 year old she was 17 months old... so apologies after the event to those who suffered her cries.
ReplyDeleteAnd John, I hope the storm has abated by the time I arrive!
MOGADON.... MOGADON.... MOGADON.
ReplyDeletePoor woman all i can is earplugs
ReplyDeleteWell if the wing fell off mid flight, she'd probably be doing the same thing only louder!
ReplyDelete"Do you like puppies?" says the flight attendant to the little girl...
ReplyDelete...she'd be arrested by the thought police for evening thinking to say that to a child in the UK.
More sensibly, I notice that the plane has not yet taken off in this video, and according to the tannoy, there's going to be a delay of over an hour.
I would be telling lies if I said that my heart wouldn't sink if this was me, although I suspect the child would calm down once the flight had started.
At least they are trying to placate 'Princess Fiona'.
Here in the UK, one is often frustrated by (usually middle-class) parents who, when travelling on trains, encourage their offspring to 'explore and learn' during the journey...
...whilst 'working-class' parents tell their children firmly to 'shut up'...and, guess what... a silent journey normally prevails.
Hey ho.
Nx
@Lady Mondegreen's Secret Garden:
ReplyDeleteI hope your flight on Wednesday goes OK. BUT please be prepared for a potentially LONG wait in immigration control - there is a national strike here in the UK on Wednesday, and long delays in airports are anticipated (particularly Heathrow).
Best of luck Nx
Flying back from Beijing in 2001 my friend had a boy with Tourettes syndrome sat behind her. He sneezed/coughed the whole flight spraying mucous all over her each time. He and his sister spent a lot of time playing snap. The parents of these children had bulkhead seats about 5 rows in front and across the aisle from them.
ReplyDeleteAnd I bet at the end the stewardess said "Hope you had a nice flight"
ReplyDeletecatching up with all that has been happening in your life. Love, love Mabel. Have kids all grown up now, but do believe, kids should be seen, but not heard!!
ReplyDeleteGill
I am so grateful for "The Owl Wood." Anything I've been thinking now seems so kind and diplomatic. Anyway, I've got a 7-hour flight to NY coming up in a week. Oh, dread!
ReplyDeleteI seem to bring out the scream in children. The screaming ones follow me, too, attracted in some intangible magnetic way. My spouse thought i was simply just too sensitive to children's cries (jangles my nerves straightaway, and i applaud Owl Wood's stubbing out bucket); until we were in any number of places where he, too, confirmed that i attract the screaming mimis.
ReplyDeleteI recently saw an article somewhere on the Web not allowing children under a certain age on flights (or maybe it was just first class seating).
I realise the parents aren't always at fault and applaud those who take great pains to try and avoid such experiences. But to the others who simply think the rest of us ought to buck up and bear it, um no. Stub bucket for you and all your progeny. We are not amused.
megan
I speak as someone who regularly had to fly between Dubai and England with three very young children - the youngest being under a year old, one of 3 and another aged 4. (These flights were usually without my husband, so no help there) I coped, I kept them quiet, entertained with books, etc, they stayed in their seats and were well behaved. It was hell for me; bloody hard work, however, I did it out of respect for the other passengers.
ReplyDeleteDon't blame it on the kids, blame it on their parents.
PS Owl Wood was a bally awful noisy and snotty little kid. To be fair though, he has improved a little with age.
I tend to agree with Kate & Elaine. Was it my imagination when the camera flicked over to the child and mom was playing deaf (and paying attention to something to her left)? The child needed distraction/attention, which she got -- from someone else. SIGH.
ReplyDeleteIf you haven't seen it, I recommend Bill Cosby's video "Himself." One of the bits is about a loud-mouthed kid named Jeffrey who makes a flight pure hell for the other passengers ... and how they handle the situation after the tyke finally falls asleep. Hysterical!
ReplyDeleteI'm confused as to what the kid is screaming about... credit to Roz in that she only ever had fits of such magnitude when it was 'time to go home', in which case I could carry her upside down back to the car, or home from the park, etc. That was horrific enough. *shiver*
ReplyDeleteOh please! My earplugs and patience got ejected from Elaine onwards. Give me a mother's break and the reality of Owl Wood any day. Those planes are cattle trucks.
ReplyDeleteI developed a great solution for seat kickers. First I'd try my Evil Mom From Hell glare, which is fairly effective. For the hardened little seat-kicking monsters, I'd interupt the parent who was zoned out in a magazine or iPod and ask them to switch seats with me. As I would point out, they could ignore their children just as well from MY seat, AND they'd get to enjoy the kidney massage that their little angel was currently giving to me. (Saying this in a syrupy sweet voice with a giant crocodile smile tended to work wonders. I'd usually offer to summon the flight attendant to help her move her belongings.) I actually had one (bloody clueless) mom accept the seat switch! After about 90 seconds, the kid kicked the seat hard enough to send the mom's internal organs to first class. Mom's reaction: "Ow! That hurt!" (but no scolding the child) About 2 minutes later, the kid aimed another kick, but before it could land, I grabbed his foot, got nose to nose with him, and read him the riot act. I honestly don't think anyone had ever gainsayed this child before. He didn't kick the rest of the flight.
ReplyDeleteI spent much of my 15 years with the airline flying hither and yon, and it used to make me nuts when people would tell me I was "lucky" that I had a well behaved flyer for a son. Luck, h***! I worked like crazy to teach him to be a well-mannered little ginger. LOL!
I had a kid kick my seat on and off on a flight from Vancouver to Cambodia. It was NOT pretty and the mother didn't stop it even when asked to. The woman filming this was pretty darn tolerant if you ask me! :)
ReplyDeletePS: I love Owl Wood's advice!
ReplyDeleteMy word, that got us all going!
ReplyDeleteJust for clarity: Owl Wood is my younger brother. He is both allergic to children, and the very best of uncles. He is, and always was, adored by my three (now grown up) children. It didn't mean he wanted to be pestered by them though.
I had to make sure that my kids respected his space.
Kate,
ReplyDeleteI LOVE how you handled the seat kicker.
I have 'The Look', as my friends have dubbed it that works well. to date, i've not had a seat kicker on the plane, but have in the theatre or at restaurants.
Once in the theatre, when i realised the child was only going to kick harder given that he was eating lots of sugar, i turned around and told the parent that either he could get his child to stop kicking my seat or i would. 'Trust me,' i continued, 'if you don't wish to do your job as parent, i shall.'
The parent was mortified, and i must have had The Look ramped up to Bloody Scary because both the parent and kid froze.
Elaine, i think your brother Owl Wood and i could be related. I feel the same way about kiddoes.
megan
Just love it!
ReplyDeleteSP