Have you ever said something that truly surprised you?
Erm.... I am sure there are a few here that might of done such a thing.
Well I am ashamed and ever slightly amused that fairly recently something shot out of my gob, that not only surprised me.....it shocked me so much that afterwards I had to have a lie down in the old berlingo and have a good guffaw!
A couple of weeks ago I went to Theatre Clwyd to see a film.
Nothing too surprising at that eh?
As readers recall this used to be a regular outing that Hazel and I used to undertake almost ever week. and always out of habit we used to book the same two seats... we always sat in D12 and D13!
Anyhow alone ( and feeling a little lonely) I stood at the booking desk and booked my ticket , choosing my favourite seat the aforementioned D13.
The clerk looked up and seemed to recognize me
"Oh it's you" she said presently, before asking "Where's you friend?"
Now I should have just said " she's moved to the city" that would have been the logical (and normal) thing to say of course!
What did I actually say?
...wait for it
I said..( and I cannot quite believe I did)
"oh she died!"
Now where the hell did that come from?
The woman was mortified and was no more shocked than I, believe me, at my Freudian comment and as she tried to be all sympathetic and supportive in that silent kind of way....I was all curled up inside, trying desperately not to giggle at my own stupidity or indeed catch her watery eyes further so that I would have to explain what my friend had "suddenly" died of!
To this day, I cannot quite believe I said it!
To assuage my guilt , I told Hazel what I had blurted out when we met up in Manchester the other afternoon and she laughed long and very hard at it all!
I told my colleagues at work the story today......and they all reacted with varying degrees of disbelief and laughter!
One sister commented wryly
"You cannot take any other good looking lady with you to the cinema ever again John" she said
"Everyone there will think that you are a serial killer"
HEY HO
Oh dear..what were you thinking? Now every time you go to the theatre and see that clerk you will get the giggles all over again.
ReplyDeleteI used to know this promiscuous girl and one day she told me she was pregnant, without missing a beat I turned and around and said 'Do you even know who the father is'
ReplyDeleteI was shocked and she was offended. I had no idea where ti came from.
Yes !
ReplyDeletea psychologist would have a field day!!!!
And I thought that I said some inappropriate things...
ReplyDeleteWell thanks, I've just splurted coffee all over the keyboard!
ReplyDeleteJane x
!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When She visits you, you'll have to take her to the cinema and pretend she's her own twin. xxxxx
ReplyDeletediane that is SOOOOOOOOO Hitchcock!!!!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe you said that! I can't believe you admitted you said that! You are my idol -- not for saying it, but for admitting you said it! (Hazel will have to visit so you two can book seats D12 and D13 again.)
ReplyDeleteI had no idea that you could book particular seats in a movie theater. Here in America you just choose one as you walk in and hope no one tall sits down in front of you. Fascinating...
ReplyDeleteYou made me laugh out loud again John (and so did some of the comments.) The sister's remark was pretty good, too. Now you'll never be able to go to the cinema with Hazel again - unless you take Diane's advice.
ReplyDeleteYou did say 'died', not #passed away' instead of 'moved away'? Easy mistake to make!
ReplyDeleteROFL, If I had a dollar for every time I have said something I probably should not have or that was maybe not exactly appropriate I would be rich!
ReplyDeleteROFL and I so agree you must take your friend with you next time she is in town. tee hee. It would be a lot fun no? LOL
I say stupid stuff without even realizing it - till it comes back to haunt me!
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine if we all just thought out loud like that John?! It would be hilarious.
ReplyDeleteWell....I think it's hysterical.....and I totally cracked up when I read it......I'm still laughing......oh..I just read the twin thing...brilliant !!!! This could go on and on......
ReplyDeleteNewly divorced 12 years ago and with a flat tire on my lawnmower, I burst into tears at the store and told the salesman selling me a new tire that my husband recently died. I was so mortified that I started crying reeeeeally hard. I think they considered calling 911 for the poor hysterical widow!
ReplyDeleteWhere DOES that stuff come from???
You sir, are a cad!
ReplyDelete(whatever that is!)
;-)
....Laughing...of shame...her hair...and was resurrected? You simply failed to add an appropriate ending!
ReplyDeleteHomicidal nutcase.
ReplyDeleteOh dear! it reminds of a time about 15 years ago when I was recovering from a thyroidectomy and my neck was covered in rather large clips. I attended the local ddoctors surgery and in the waiting room I was asked what had happened to my neck. Quite without thinking I said "I had had an accident with a chain saw" !!!! Why I said that I will never know. There was hushed consternation in the waiting room!
ReplyDeleteThat poor woman... you evil old queen. But it did make me smile.
ReplyDeleteJOHN - I think that the only serials you'd be capable of killing would be "Cornflakes", "Weetabix" or maybe..."Sugar Puffs"?
ReplyDeleteyp
ReplyDeletehow VERY dare
you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
x
I was once very seriously ill, and exceptionally upset that someone I considered a real friend never contacted me throughout the illness.
ReplyDeleteWhen I eventually got a polite text from her asking how I was feeling, I simply replied "so sorry she died 6 weeks ago" and signed it from my husband!!
To this day, I cover my head with shame when I think what I did!
Lol! I have so done the same thing, said something I couldn't believe came out of my mouth. I found you from Starting Over & Accepting Changes. Nice to meet you! Great blog. ~Tracy
ReplyDeleteLove that last comment John.
ReplyDeleteWe all make daft comments sometimes. I was once at Stratford watching Coriolanus with a friend who could not hear what was being said on stage. He suddenly stood up and shouted 'pardon' at the top of his voice. The cast all froze for a minute, everyone turned and looked at us, then it continued - I think a little louder.
Absolutely hilarious!
ReplyDeleteJohn, thanks so much for the belly laugh this morning!!! That is so funny and I can't believe you said that! Now what are you going to do if Hazel wants to come with you in the future? You never know!
ReplyDeleteMarie
I hope that lady at the cinema doesn't read your blog John.
ReplyDeleteToo bad we don't have rewind and delete buttons for the words that leap from our mouths of their own volition, eh? We all do it; we just don't all admit it. Too funny.
ReplyDeleteLOL JOHN!!!!
ReplyDeleteHilarious.
ReplyDeleteI once told a diabetic amputee to be careful with his ancient wheelchair as the spike sticking out of it's side could chop someone's leg off.
almost as good as the "runway nurses."
ReplyDelete