This morning I was banging on comically about Constance's flatulence....blissfully unaware that I would be attempting to resuscitate her in the road outside the Church gates only an hour or so later.
We were returning from our usual morning walk when Constance stopped short pulling all of the other dogs to a standstill. She looked up at me briefly with an expression of mild surprise, coughed and then collapsed.
I went into nurse mode.
She had stopped breathing and I couldn't hear or feel a heartbeat.
Somehow I blew into her mouth and compressed her chest, and after a minute or so she coughed again, waving her big paws weakly.
I felt her heart beat briefly , but moments later it stopped again.
A woman stopped her car to help.
I gave her the other dogs to hold, and tried to shake Constance back to life once more.
But she didn't move again. She had been with us just 10 months
One minute she was here, the next she had gone. It was as simple and as final as that.
We buried her in a quiet corner of the allotment, with all of those platitudes of "she had a good life when she was with us" going around and around in my head.
But when I later went to feed the pigs, I pictured her "smiling" with that stupid one tooth sticking out of her fat wide mouth and I sat down in the long grass and bawled like a baby.
Oh John....my heart is breaking for you.
ReplyDeleteJohn - I am SO very sorry for your sudden loss.
ReplyDeleteThese dogs love us completely, unconditionally, and sometimes think more of us than we think of ourselves. They teach us to be better people and they are gone way too soon...
Wish there were some words of comfort I could give... hugs.
Know what you are going through...foolish to think that there are any words of comfort.
ReplyDeleteMy heartfelt condolences to you and your partner on the loss of your friend. But, what a way to go, eh? On a beautiful day during a wonderful walk with his best friend.
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry for the loss of your friend.
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry to hear such sad news, we will all miss the old girl and her funny ways.
ReplyDeleteJohn, I am very sorry for your loss. I experienced my own loss yesterday (Saturday) of my beloved Lexie. A 13 yr old white german shepard dog that was my constant companion. My husband and I made the decision to let her go in peace ourselves before she simply couldn't stand anymore. She was wasting away before our very eyes, and her hips were so bad she could barely get up and down anymore. It is a decision that was the right one, but hurts so very, very much nonetheless. I have been crying for days. I feel your pain. I cried again this morning when I had to sweep up her hair from the kitchen floor (a daily job usually), and realized I wouldn't ever be doing that again. I did as you, and sat down on the floor and cried myself silly. So, I know your pain.
ReplyDeleteOh John - I am crying as I write this - as you know they are my favourite breed - I have known some wonderful ones and I count 'knowing' Constance amongst them.
ReplyDeleteThey are not a long lived breed. Let the tears flow, reminding yourself that 'in the midst of life....' surely a better way to go than either her suffering or you having to make the awful decision to have her put to sleep.
I am afraid it is the price we have to pay for letting dogs into our lives. I am sure the others are missing her too.
Much love to you.
*hugs* John. ♥
ReplyDeleteOh my John, my heart goes out to you. I'll miss her presence in your stories.
ReplyDeleteOh John, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Only this morning was I smiling at Constance not wanting to climb the stairs. I , too am crying with you. Hugs to you my friend. Blessings. Jo
ReplyDeleteOh John I am so very sorry for your loss, I am crying as I am writing this. Wish I could come to Wales and give you and Chris a hug.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you.
Love
Jo xx
That's heart breaking news John. I'm so very sorry for you and Chris.
ReplyDeletexoxo darling Constance
ReplyDeleteIf I only I could be there I'd give you a big hug John
All of us who have loved and lost a dog know your pain. I started to cry as I read the blog and realized what was coming. But what a good life she had with you.
ReplyDeleteHugs Peter
Oh John, I am so very sorry. Xxxxx
ReplyDeleteSending you a big hug and love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
ReplyDeleteOh no! I am so sorry for you and the rest of your household. Knowing she had such a fantastic life with you, but to be ripped from you so suddenly is heartbreaking.
ReplyDeleteSuspect tonight when the local pair of bulldogs go for their midnight walk past our house, I shall shed atear for your heavy breather.
Oh my goodness. I am so very sorry for you John. What a shock. She was so lucky to have you for part of her life.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about Constance, but the best way to go for her .XXX
ReplyDeleteThe screen is blurry through the tears. We had a beautiful baby (cat)called Luke. To quote a friend's daughter "he smells like farts". Unbeknowst to us all, Luke had colon cancer and died suddenly and without warning aged 14 mnths.
ReplyDeleteBawl your eyes out,John. grief is the price we pay for love.
Jane x
OOh John, I have just read your first posting and was smiling at the thought of Constance and her huge grinning face accompanying you there in the cottage kitchen, and then saw you had posted again, and now there are tears running down my face, knowing she is gone !
ReplyDeleteHow I loved that girl, and her quirky ways, my heart is heavy for your/our loss....
She will always be a special girl to me.
Godspeed Constance.
{Hugs} friend,
~Jo
OMG - I just hate pet animals for doing things like that! You just get so attached to them! After We had Miss Socks put down (she had cancer) Rhonda said "No more dogs! I can't take it when they die on us!" So what do i do ....... I go out and rescue Denny from the pound, basically 5 minutes before he was due to be "put down" - and over the past 5 years he's become an integral part of my daily life.
ReplyDeleteJohn, I am so sorry for you! In my heart I know how you must feel! - Take care!
my eyes are brimming and my heart is heavy...I just met you all a few weeks ago .....she found a place in my heart forever....so sorry for you all...lets hope we all go where they go...xxxxxxxxx
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you John. I'm so very sorry. Things change so frighteningly quick. I lost my big slobbery smushed face boy in January--cardiomyopathy-- and it was not quite as quick--but only a matter of four days--with no obvious problems prior. He left a big hole. As you said, we do know that 'they had a good life, etc etc' but it sure is awful to have them leave so sudden, especially when we open our hearts so fully to their sweet (and slightly possessive) love.
ReplyDeleteTammy
No words will give you comfort at this time! But know that you are in our thoughts and prayers! I wish I could come hold you in my arms and hold you while you cry! I am so sorry John!
ReplyDeleteJiller
John, I'm so very sorry to hear this. I know your heart is broken, and I wish that there was something I could do to ease the pain. But, there isn't, so I can only offer my most heartfelt condolences.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to read this - I know exactly how you feel xxx
ReplyDeleteJohn...I don't know how long you had Constance, but I do know that every minute you had together was very precious. You just never know what is going to happen when you get up in the morning. My thoughts are with you.
ReplyDeleteJohn.....words are not enough to express how sad I am to learn about Constance. I have been following your blog for a long time and have been selfishly reading all your posts without interacting. Please forgive me and know that you have a fan here in Mississippi, USA. Thank you for the time you take from your busy life to keep the blog going.
ReplyDeleteHugs and much sympathy.
Mother of two pugs,
Nanarue
So sorry for your loss. Wish I could say some comforting thing, but this is a time when mere words do not help, I'm sure most of us have been through this, and we do know how you feel.
ReplyDeleteXXX
I can't stop crying.
ReplyDeleteI extend my condolences too. Dogs, possibly more than any other pet, become family.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry John...everything has bin said in the previous posts and i know that there is no comfort for you now...i loved the storys you wrote about her live with you...goodbye Constance!!
ReplyDeletegreetings Francien.
Hello John:
ReplyDeleteWe are so very sad to read this. The death of a pet is so difficult to bear and dogs really do become part of the family. Our thoughts are with you and Chris.
John - I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteI'm so very, very sorry John. Constance and her funny and sometimes magnificent ways are what we all loved about her. She has a great many fans and friends than you will ever know. xoxoxoxo
ReplyDeleteOh John, I wish I could give you a hug xx
ReplyDeleteA quote from Jonathan Swift "May you live all the days of your life" and she certainly did. x
ReplyDeleteOh no no no! So dreadfully sad for you and wishing I could send comfort to you you both, and to all your four-legged (and two-legged) friends. I wonder how this will change the dynamics with the remaining dogs. A dear friend of mine lost his greyhound this very same way - on a walk, just as sudden as could be. They said it was a heart attack. So glad she was not alone at the end. Hugs from me.
ReplyDelete(((((John)))))) i am so sory!!!!
ReplyDeletemy previous dogs have died at the vets
ReplyDeletealone!
at least the last thing she saw was me and I would like to think she knew I was trying to help her.
few people here saw what I saw in her
a charmingly bombastic character with a personality as big as her mouth
i shall miss her dreadfully
thank you all
x
Oh John, I'm crying for you and that gorgeous dog as I write this. My heart goes out to you and Chris. Everyone who has shared their lives (and hearts) with a dog will know how you feel. How quickly things change. XXX and hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteOh, God, John, I am so sorry!!! There are no words that will help. Constance had a good life with you. Remember, all dogs go to heaven, too.
ReplyDeleteOh John, I am speechless.
ReplyDeleteHeartbreaking.
My heart goes out to you and Chris.
Farewell Constance... and John - it's very clear you made the final phase of her life so happy - surrounded by other animals, out in the country and loved like a baby.
ReplyDeleteI was doing ok until YP commented
ReplyDeleteit made me cry
x
Bollocks John, and I mean that in the kindest possible way.
ReplyDeleteFondest regards and deepest sympathy,
John W.
I'm so sorry
ReplyDeleteXxxxxx
ReplyDeleteSo sorry
Jane
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteJohn, I have thought of the verse that goes with the title of your post so often since you first sent it to me almost 2 years ago. I know how it feels to have your heart torn by a dog that left you much too soon. Please know that from my heart that is still broken from losing our girl Rudi last week, I'm sending you heartfelt prayers of comfort and peace and lots of love from Virginia. I really am so, so sorry....
ReplyDeleteOh John...my heart breaks for you right now. I'm so sorry to hear this. Deb
ReplyDeleteYou did exactly what I would do! Sorry for your sad days.
ReplyDelete"We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our
ReplyDeleteown, live within a fragile circle;
easily and often breached.
Unable to accept its awful gaps,
we would still live no other way.
We cherish memory as the only
certain immortality, never fully
understanding the necessary plan."
— Irving Townsend
John, through your posts, we all came to laugh at and love Constance. I always looked forward to you writing about her, as it lifted my day. So sorry for you as I know how difficult that pain of loss is.
ReplyDeleteReally sorry to hear of this. It's heartbreaking.
ReplyDeleteRory
Dear John.......many, many Blessings to you this day.................
ReplyDelete~Mimi
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteIt is incredible the kind of bond we create with our furry friends and we always wonder how they perceived us. We wish they could talk to us, tell us their own point of view about this world. When they stare at us, we feel strongly that they "know something". We even tell them : "Talk! Tell me what goes on in your head!" But they go without revealing their secret and we ask ourselves if they're are thinking about us as much as we are thinking about them.
Hugs
Jon
Dear John and Chris, my heart breaks for you both on the loss of Constance. She was so dearly loved. I can so relate to you both at this time as we had to have Jimmy our little mini foxy of nearly 16 years put to sleep a few days ago. I couldn't help but cry when I read this post as I can so feel your pain. Bigs hugs to you both♥ Linda xxx
ReplyDeleteThey break your heart... I know it hurts so deeply. Hugs xxxooo
ReplyDeleteOh John. I am so so sorry for this loss. I am glad that she did not suffer long and that she had you there with her at the end. Your love for Constance was clear from your postings - much love to you from across the pond.
ReplyDeletexoxox
http://www.rainbowbridge.org/
ReplyDeleteI will miss her heartfelt ahhhhhh farts in your stories. Such a sad time for those who love our pets. I like to think that she is chasing a ball carefree waiting for us in Heavn. But it still hurts like a sting.
ReplyDeleteRuth
So very sorry about your girl Constance passing away so suddenly. Knowing you were the last familiar and dear face she saw brings some comfort. I'm lighting a candle for her tonight. May she be light as a feather and graceful as a gazelle in her next life.
ReplyDeleteDear John. I'm feeling strangely emotional. We just never expect our pets to leave us, and even though she wasn't my dog, I feel almost as if she was everyone's. There's a well known saying... 'Death is never sad, if the gift of life has been well used'. Well, I feel very very sad for you both. Bisou, Cro.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss. So pleased you were with her. Mo
ReplyDeleteJust saying.....well just saying that I feel for you. x
ReplyDeleteJohn, I am so very sorry. Brought tears to my eyes. She ended her days loved by you.
ReplyDeleteMy love to you x
Oh god John I'm so so sorry xxx
ReplyDeleteIts 6 years since we lost our burst couch and I still drop a piece of cheese on the floor for her. We aquired yappy and snappy not long after her death and they drive me mad, uncontrollable, but I'm sure 6 years after they have gone ill miss throwing my slipper at them to get their attention or some strange custom I've resorted to with them.
ReplyDeletePrayers have been said for you all
x
John, I am so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteI was just about to comment on the wonderful photo until I read your post.
I know you have commented both times I lost my dogs and I thank you.
I think it is the right thing to do to bury your dogs close to you. I still go out and talk to them both.
I will get some nice plants to put over their graves this year.
Thinking of you
Sue
I feel like I'm stalking you, but I'm just stopping by this morning to let you know I'm thinking of you John....
ReplyDeleteI am so so sorry John.
ReplyDeleteJohn, please accept my condolences. Anyone who has ever given their heart knows what you're experiencing. Yet, I'd rather give my heart than keep it safe.
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is, my heart is with you.
ReplyDeleteOh, John, I am so sorry to hear about your loss of your friend. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you at this particularly difficult time.
ReplyDeleteMarie
So sorry. I understand the heartbreak of losing a dog. x
ReplyDeleteTake comfort that you gave her the best life she could have possibly hoped to have and she loved you completely. And cry every single time you need to cry. Just because they are animals, doesn't make them any less of a family member.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you .
I am so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteWe're so sorry to hear about Constance, and we are heart sick for you.
ReplyDeleteSounds though like she went the best way, on a good walk with the pack in tow.
When tomorrow starts without me
ReplyDeleteI know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me, Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand (paw),
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love...
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart....
David M. Romano 1993
Sometimes I feel I mourned a lifetime over pets. When I go, the very first place I want to go to is the Rainbow Bridge!
Hugs to all of you.
Gale
I'm very sorry to hear about Constance. My DIL's parents have a bulldog called George. Most people are scraed of him but he's such a big hearted dog. He's not beautiful but he's a sweety.
ReplyDelete{{{{{{{John}}}}}}}
ReplyDeleteadd me to the list of those who are crying and so sad to hear of your loss.
About the time my dear cat Grace left, (feral when we found her and decided to do the feral thing and leave when she knew her time to die was quickly approaching), i ran across this quote. I had seen it before many times. I still miss Grace of course, and the other cats are learning new routines.
“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I’ll always be with you.” Winnie the Pooh
Hugs to you, Chris, and the furfriends,
megan
Oh John, I am so sorry about Constance. What a heartbreak. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteDear John,
ReplyDeleteConstance was your child.
For us readers, Constance had her way of bringing a smile to our heart.
You loved her and she loved you. Together, you shared that love with us. Thank you.
Good bye, sweet Constance. Thank you for being so many things to so many people.
Farmer
I'm thinking of you today John. I hope her memories are bringing you comfort .
ReplyDeletexo Linda
My thoughts are with you, John and Chris. I know your pain and hope you will find your way through it soon. Lane
ReplyDeleteJust read the blog. So sorry John. Mx
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry John, what an utter shock! Constance was adorable and we too loved her in our little corner of Alaska. Thankfully you were there,you did your best. We will light a candle in honor of Constance tonight.
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry, friend. xo
Oh John...
ReplyDeleteI bet if Constance could have chosen how she left this life, then a walk with you then a big kiss as she left would have been a very agreeable option....but also remember how I cried when my old pal Toby died, I have never cried so much ...ever.
Sending love and a big hug as you remember your fragrant friend x
I'm so so sorry. All of us who have loved a pet ... and lost a pet ... know how you feel.
ReplyDeleteJohn, I'm so sorry to hear about Constance. Thoughts and prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry, John....
ReplyDeleteSorry for your loss, John. She was one in a million.
ReplyDeleteOh dear! I'm so sorry to hear about Constance! Having just lost one of our four-legged kids, I can definitely feel what you are going through.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs to the whole family.
I lost my dog on Friday. His name was Odin and he was a foxhound. I have to believe that him and your sweet Constance, are running around together both newly checked in to the place where good dogs play for eternity. I am sorry for your loss.
ReplyDelete~crow
So so sorry. No more to say.
ReplyDeleteOh John I'm so sorry to read this. I was just checking my email before going to bed after a day of being off the computer when I came across Jo from 'A Brit In Tennessee's email. At the end of it she asked me if I had been to your blog and did I know you lost Constance today. I couldn't believe it. I am so sorry. I know you love all your animals but I think Constance had a special place in your heart. She must have had a heart problem that you didn't know about. At least the last thing she saw was your face before she went down John and she went quickly. I wish I could give you a hug... just know that there are many who will be thinking of you and feeling your loss along with you. Take care.
ReplyDeleteMaura X
So sorry to hear about Constance. At least the end was quick for her, no suffering, and she was doing something she loved. Hazelxx
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteRIP dear Constance.
oh my, I am so very sorry, that is terrible, sending you lots of {{{HUGS}}}
ReplyDeleteGill in Canada
Oh no. I am so sorry John. Hope fond memories slowly replace your tears.
ReplyDeleteYour love of Constance was obvious and made us know and love her too. So I am crying. I know your life was better having her in it, however briefly, but the pain and shock of her death is, I imagine, very difficult. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteOh no! That was so sudden and unexpected. I hope you and the other pups are doing okay. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteI'm new here, but just wanted to add my condolences too. Our pets are so dearly loved by us not matter how long they are will us for.
ReplyDeleteLisa x
John...belated as it is now in real time - I'm deeply truly sorry for your loss of such a great canine friend and trusting dependent.
ReplyDeleteIn the scheme of things, it's highly, highly unlikely that Constance would have found a better or more committed guardian and protector, than you John.
Mend well soon my friend.
Oh, John. I am so sorry.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel. We have lost three of dogs this year. Holly and Jingles to old age, and Caleb to bone cancer. All of these were Great Pyrenees and being large dogs their life span is normally around 10 yrs. We made the mistake of bringing them into our lives the same year. Now we only have two of the Pyrs left and they are showing their age.
ReplyDeleteThis statement is so true from I and Dog, by the monks of New Skete.. "The biggest problem with dogs is that they don't live long enough. They always seem to leave us when we're most vulnerable, most in need of their biased, affirming presence. Dogs make us believe we can actually be as they see us, and it' s often only when they're gone that we realize their role in what we've become."
Oh my gosh! I am so so so sorry. I don't know if you knew this...we also lost our Bumble a couple of months ago. I was devastated and still am. I am crying with you. Even though I never met Constance, I loved her through your blog. I am so sad to hear this news. My heart feels for you. I am so glad you could see Smudge today. I hope that she lifted your spirit.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss, even if you knew her for 10 months it still hurts like hell!
ReplyDeleteWe went on our trip just when you posted this, and I missed it. So very sorry to hear you have lost Constance. She was a great addition to your menagerie and I loved your little stories about her. A big hug from me to you. xox
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry John that I haven't kept up well with blogs and just found your post on Constance. I'm sorry and now am catching up on Mabel. I will spend a day or two catching up with all the special people I like to hear about and your life is just that...life. I have to say just blogging about those special animal bonds I've had is hard when they pass on. I sometimes worry I am jinxing myself if I mention any special one sometimes. Crazy I know, but I'm odd that way. Just when I am imprinted on one of my animals..and there I go again..expecting something to happen. I gotta change that. Something is always going to happen and I can't do a darn thing about it. Just enjoy each happy moment and make it good!
ReplyDelete