I have just spent a fascinating hour or so reading Rictor Norton's Homosexuality in Eighteen Century England
( well specifically I have been concentrating upon The Raid on Mother Clap's Molly House in 1726 where over 40 mollies (gay men) were rounded up to be tried for, what was essentially indecent behaviours!.
Three of the men arrested were subsequently hanged , which sounds dreadfully shocking to us today, but I guess way back then, where you could be imprisoned or deported for stealing a load of bread, the punishment seemed to well fit the crime
Tom Stephenson highlighted the subject on his morning blog,and indeed it made for a great read, but it also got me thinking of how little I actually think about being gay in historical terms and surprising as it may sound, how little I think about being gay per se!
The subject just does not really blink in my radar so to speak.
Perhaps I should be more forthright and vocal in the struggle some people still have to undergo to be accepted as equals in this world, but , to me this struggle is not a purely gay issue. It is an issue for the "underdogs" of all denominations...gay,straight,black,white,disabled,.....those different to the community norm....whatever that community may be.
and we all should make the effort to be inclusive......this inclusiveness, I would like to think, is my norm.
I AM naive at times, I do realise that I am, for if someone takes a dislike to me in any way, the LAST thing I would reason to be the cause of the tension would be my sexuality!...it just would not figure in my thinking!...now if someone didn't like me because I can be an self-opinionated stroppy cow of an unfit mother...well.....now we're talking...but to dislike me for who I fancy (Russell Crowe...Matt Cardle........even.......David Miliband)....naw.......it is truly beyond me.
Another reason that I don't think much about the whole "gay thing" is that I feel comfortable and confident inside my own skin; it's a maturity thing....a middle aged thing...call it what you like...I smile when I am called John-the eggs or John-the-dogs by the village.......but would I smile if I was called "John -the poof!"?
To be honest I would be miffed... but not in that "how very dare they?" way.....stupid people will always pidgeon hole others with infantile labels...no I would be miffed, as I would prefer being called John eggs.......it's just how I see myself......mind you, if someone called me a "poof" I think I probably would titter my head off......it's such a lovely word.
This blog doesn't make a great deal of sense, (I have just re read it over a cup of coffee)
suffice to say there are more interesting facets to me (so I keep telling myself) than my sexuality....
Mind you I am reminded of the Alexander Woolcott quote here (he was reviewing Maurice Maeterlinck’s play Aglavaine and Sélysette when he stated of Maeterlinck
"There is less to him that meets the eye!"
perhaps that description is more like it
hey ho
Well.. I'm not alone...
ReplyDeleteI've been once labeled buy a "gay activist" for not being "gay enough" because I just didn't give a dam about "gay issues"... I just said that I cared more about everybody getting respect no matter their gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnic background, eye color...
Let's get rid of all labels! We're all human. Period!
Have a nice day
Hugs
Jon
John. Having had homes in Brighton since the mid-80's, I've almost forgotten that 'gays' exist. To me they are simply a part of every day life. In front of me, as I write, is the August page of the Brighton calendar which just happens to illustrate our 'gay pride' day; and I'd hardly noticed it. I expect North Wales is a wincey bit different.
ReplyDeleteHello John:
ReplyDeleteYou raise some very interesting points here. Not only about people, both past and present, who for whatever reason have not 'met' society's norms but also about the way in which self-perception can colour one's life.
We feel that it matters not a jot what one is called as long as it is done with kindness and good humour. When name calling is carried out with spiteful intention, then that is just not acceptable in our view for we see it as a form of bullying which, we believe, should be challenged whenever and wherever it takes place.
What comes across very powerfully from your posts is the enormous love and respect with which your friends, family and neighbours feel towards you and to which you respond in equal part. If that is a measure of your 'worth', then your cup runneth over indeed!!
Will the time EVER come that we can just BE?
ReplyDeleteHello John! I liked this post...I thought it was very interesting. I like 'John the eggs'...and 'John the dogs' they suit you. If I was the labeling kind I think you'd be 'John the big heart' or 'John the fun blogger'. I don't think of you as being gay unless you bring it up. I could care less about your sexuality...I follow your blog because you're a 'fun read' a 'nice person'. You make me laugh and you've made me cry with some of your blog posts but I always come away feeling glad I stopped by.
ReplyDeleteI hope your day has been a good one so far.
Maura :)
I agree with other comments, lets just be who we are and do we really need to make a issue about what ever that maybe. Why do we have to label everything from what religion we are to what sexuality we are to well you name it we must declare it with a name/label? For many they lead to judgement, a reason to dislike another, who is right who is wrong, drama.etc... Life could be so much simpler and better for everyone if we did not do this.
ReplyDeleteaw shucks
ReplyDeletex
I'm in agreement with you John. Partly, I think it's an age related phenomenon. Aren't we more comfortable with ourselves as we reach middle age? We know who we are, and more importantly, who we aren't.
ReplyDeleteI think more about grooming the dog than I do about my sexuality these days. Sad? Perhaps. Content? Abosulutely.. and I think that contentment is the key to life.
As time goes by, being gay seems to become more acceptable but I'm sure there must be lots of aggravation in some places.
ReplyDeleteSome nasty people will always find a reason to pick on someone, either because of they're gay, black or wear glasses (thinking of what went on in my school playground all those decades ago).
A lot of my women friends feel very comfortable in the company of gay men because they don't feel threatened or that they are being weighed up in a sexual way - it gets tedious when the bloke you're having a conversation with never raises his eyes above the neckline !!
I was watching Come Dine With Me last night (sad, I know) and for some reason, the two women contestants had got it into their heads that one of the men was gay.
ReplyDeleteOne actually said: "But he's got two children. Maybe he had them before he became gay."
It was a bizarre piece of television. There was nothing that the bloke had said or done that could lead them to that conclusion. And even if it had, why should it matter when all they were doing was eating dinner?
You have to be terribly narrow-minded to judge and label people like that. Mind you, they were Scousers....
I saw the movie, 'Beginners' last night, so i thought a bit more about gay people and the struggle of being different from what was considered 'normal.' The only time i think about someone's sexual orientation is if i want to have a physical relationship with that person.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy your blog, hearing about your life with the animals, and how you want to--and do--contribute to your community.
Carry on, John the dogs.
megan
But David Milliband? Really! I worry about you...
ReplyDeletebel
ReplyDeletei put him in for comic effect.... credit me with a little taste
Well you are 'John the chicken' to me my friend. Although sometimes I'm tagged as Victorian in my outlook on life (rightly upon occasion I must admit), tis as you say not who a person does fancy (or what sometimes, but that's another matter!)but who the person is.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest most of the so called 'straight' blokes that I work with really get on me tits with their narrow and bigoted outlook on life.
I for one think that for a 'poof' (sorry really could not resist that bit John) your a damn good egg and the straightest talking bloke I know,it is truly an honour to know you.
See you tomorrow morning my good man.
John
Unfortunately, there will always be bullies but today there is less and less acceptance of this type of behavior. Society has turned against these people so maybe we have evolved somewhat.
ReplyDeleteAccepting who we are is such a wonderful thing. It does come with age and it is such a freeing experience.
I love the titles that Maura at Lilac Lane Cottage gave you, but the best and how I think of you is "John,the big heart".
Being gay shouldn't define you John, anymore than being a raving heterosexual maniac defines me!
ReplyDeleteIf you minced around the village in a bright pink safari suit waving 'Kooeoee' at passer by (like TS may do in Bath) then 'John the Poof', I'm sure, would be meant in an affectionate way in any case.
As I've aged (badly) I see people are just people and differences in character make 'em all the more interesting for that.
hope you and your missus enjoy the bantams murphy
ReplyDeletehave you talked her around yet in taking the quiet frizzle cockerel?
chris
ReplyDeleteI couldnt EVER wear pink
it would show all the chicken shit stains up
So, John the Scrambled Eggs, it is. I loved the stream-of-consciousness post (hence "scrambled"). I wish I could say the same about not being bothered by anti-gay comments now that I'm of a certain age, but it still can get to me. Now, however, I don't feel ashamed... just pissed off. So, I suppose it does get better with age.
ReplyDeleteNot yet my man, think she's waiting to see what becomes of 'Penny's' little clutch! Anyway she's still dubious after her last visit when the other 'quite' cockerel crowed right behind her!
ReplyDeleteBugger that should have read 'quiet'
ReplyDeleteHuh! You're gay?
ReplyDeleteWhat surprised me the most was that the burly tattooed policeman with whom you had an interaction a few days ago didn't wince (or at least you didn't report a wince) when you told him that you were the doctor's partner. Maybe there is hope.
ReplyDeleteThat's why I wanted to live here in Glastonbury, it's "inclusivity", where anything goes and people can just be themselves and no-one bats an eyelid.
ReplyDeleteOne day we were having lunch at the next table to 2 men openly dressed as ladies and I thought, yep, this'll do for me.
I worked with learning disabled adults in Bucks and got sick of the prejudice and dissaproval.
I hope my ramblings make sense :-O
I never thought about it that way but I believe you are right! Those who would be biased against gays would most likely be the same people who would be repulsed by disabled, disfigured, 'other' ethnicities, etc.
ReplyDeleteIn short, they're just assholes!
Thanks for the enlightenment.
;-)
You're 'John the Brill' as far as I'm concerned -like I said before - this world is a far better for place having you in it and I agree with Maura!
ReplyDeleteThank you. I, for one, prefer to be able to treat people as they are, without having them hide behind a label.
ReplyDeleteWhen will we ever just be allowed to be what we wish to be?
ReplyDeleteI have always been aware of my 'difference' in society. But you know what? Ever since Ron and I got married (only 2 years ago) it made the biggest difference for me and how I feel about all this 'being different in society' thing. I wouldn't want to called a 'poof' or a 'fag' by a straight person anytime....it is still degrading in my eyes. Much like someone calling a black person the 'n' word. It's not cute.
ReplyDeleteAs my niece said at the Gay Pride Parade a couple weeks back: 'It is so good that you have this parade.....we (heteros) have a parade every day of our life.'
And yesterday, I was really torn between teasing you in my comment about being named "John-the-Farter", or the embarrassing story I did choose!
ReplyDeleteYour blog makes perfect sense and darling, there is definitely more to you than just one facet.
LOVE that quote!!!!!! I deal to SO many people just like that!
Very good post John. I never wonder about the sexually of someone...way too much information:) I tend to judge people by how they treat others.
ReplyDeleteJohn the egg, or john the chicken, which came first?
ReplyDeleteWhen I was young there was a chap in the village called "Dick bach "(little), so it could be a lot worse.
Oh stop going on like an old queen, you old queen. With every third cabinet minister being gay in just about every government in Europe, I think you are now well represented - if not over represented - in today's world.
ReplyDeleteMy highlighting the 18th century gay scene was just out of interest about the 18th century in general. If I had sparked off a conversation about slave ships of the same era which contained black Africans, I would not have expected such an outcry from any black people who happen to read these blogs.
Gays do not feature prominently (ooh-err missus) in my life, because once I have recognised that they are such, there's an end to the matter, as far as I am concerned.
I just refuse to go to the toilet with them in pubs, that's all.
you get worse Thomas
ReplyDeleteI enjoy being an old queen
something you emulate so well at the keyboard after a couple of sherberts
x
Why DO we have to give people labels? It's an interesting question. Is it to make them more memorable?
ReplyDeleteAs for differences...I think we should enjoy them...let's leave homogeneousness to the fearful.
You've dodged it, John. I'll have you know I am stone cold sober.
ReplyDeleteI just viewed a re-run of an Oprah show last evening and Ricky Martin was on who recently (maybe a year?) ago announced that he was a "homosexual man". It was actually a great interview and he has written a book. It was interstesting to hear his perspective about coming out and the freedom he now feels however recognizing it is a process. As all people at time struggle with their sexual feelings it was interesting to hear his experience. We have a big trial going on here in Southern California regarding a murder of a 15 year old boy by another school mate. Intimidation and fear I think are at the crux of it. Sad so sad. Nothing good comes of this. As a former fat girl and woman I was harassed as well... maybe much more subtley but made to feel not good about me. Thanks John I've always felt that people are just people.
ReplyDeleteHugs Ruth
tom and by reading your comment I realised you didnt really read my post properly!
ReplyDeletelol
Good for you. One of my closest friends struggled terribly with her sexuality when we were growing up, but now that we're (ahem) oldsters, she's in a committed relationship, and all that terrible angst is a thing of the past. Being comfortable in our own skin is one of the good things about growing older. Your sexuality, anyone's sexuality, is only one part of the whole. That it's not a cause for activism and all that rot for you, but rather a comfortable everyday part of life, is a GOOD thing. I say again, good for you.
ReplyDeleteGay or not, I would love to have a kind and caring soul such as you living next door to me.
ReplyDeleteI can't remember how I found your blog, but I am so glad that I did. I enjoy reading about all the goings on in your part of world.
Gale
But I LOVE the differences! They fascinate and delight me. Am I really not supposed to notice them ever, ever again?
ReplyDeleteSigh.
Dxoxo
ps. How about if I only notice them once a month? (Or...more realistically...once a week? I mean a day? An hour?...a minute...oh shit.)
I like the T shirt "That's MR Poofter to you."
ReplyDeleteGreat post John. May you always smell like a drain ...
And finally, I can't read your blog very well with that new tangerine background. Hurts me eyes.
Sigh, how dare you torture me in the morning with the delicious and unattainable (for me) John Barrowman?!?!
ReplyDeleteYou are who you are and if people don't like that, for whatever reason, they can GET STUFFED!
Great post. :)