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| Manchester City Hall |
I got there at midday and immediately met up with Hazel who now lives ten minutes from the city centre.
We caught up with things, drank good coffee and ate nice cakes.
In lovely sunshine we ambled around the city art Gallery on Mosley Street and over a pint at her student watering hole she listened all about my shitty week and Constance with uncomplaining eyes.
Manchester council has recently adopted the New York tagline of I "Heart" MCR (I love Manchester)...from every window and in every shop the poster is being displayed and this clever marketing ploy seems to be hijacked by the city population in response to the recent riots.
I said my goodbyes to Hazel then crossed the city to meet Nigel over at the Cornerhouse arthouse Cinema
We went to see In a Better World . A Danish fairytale of a movie about grief, growing up and vengeance (The Danish title Hævnen actually means vengeance)
A impressive film with some great performances from the two boys in the movie as well as the rather sexy Swedish actor Mikael Persbrandt go and see it! 8/10...It gets you thinking way after the credits have rolled
We dissected the film afterwards, drank a few glasses of wine, ate dinner and chilled out all very normal and all very therapeutic ......and after a coffee in Town this morning and only 24 hours from leaving Trelawnyd I was back home feeling more positive and a little more human.
A neighbour called over when they saw me, and asked if I had "got over that horrible business of the weekend" as if that losing a dog was equivalent to say having an altercation with the milkman! I felt ok enough to smile gently at their remark. People that have not owned dogs have no idea of just how painful the death of one can be......a fact reinforced by the next comment I received
"at least you have three others!"
Two days ago I would have flew at the remark..today I just smiled thinly.
Without meaning to sound pretensious, I think Rudyard Kipling's poem perhaps sums up the way a dog keeper feels when a pet dies...it's worth repeating I think..as it says so much more than I could
The Power Of The Dog
by Rudyard Kipling
There is sorrow enough in the natural way
From men and women to fill our day;
And when we are certain of sorrow in store,
Why do we always arrange for more?
Brothers and Sisters, I bid you beware
Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.
Buy a pup and your money will buy
Love unflinching that cannot lie--
Perfect passion and worship fed
By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
Nevertheless it is hardly fair
To risk your heart for a dog to tear.
When the fourteen years which Nature permits
Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,
And the vet's unspoken prescription runs
To lethal chambers or loaded guns,
Then you will find--it's your own affair--
But...you've given your heart for a dog to tear.
When the body that lived at your single will,
With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!);
When the spirit that answered your every mood
Is gone--wherever it goes--for good,
You will discover how much you care,
And will give your heart for the dog to tear.
We've sorrow enough in the natural way,
When it comes to burying Christian clay.
Our loves are not given, but only lent,
At compound interest of cent per cent.
Though it is not always the case, I believe,
That the longer we've kept 'em, the more do we grieve:
For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,
A short-time loan is as bad as a long--
So why in Heaven (before we are there)
Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?
yeap I feel a bit better
For us (Chris and me), the death of each of our cats was no less painful than the death of a child.
ReplyDeleteBefore anyone jumps down my throat to tell me that an animal cannot compare to a human...we did not love our cats any less than a person loves their child, our grief is felt as deeply.It would be thoughful of other people to think about this before they offer their well meant but sometimes tactelss platitudes.
There, I'm done now.
Glad your pick me up, picked you up!
Jane x
Glad to hear you were able to see your friends and have a bit of enjoyment. People with broken hearts still need to breathe.
ReplyDeleteIt's a lovely poem [lovely doesn't seem quite the right word, you know what I mean] I knew your title came from something, just couldn't place it
I love and miss my Chicago and from your pictures and discription I suspect I would <3 MCR too.
The poem is quite true. Its good you could get away for a day and see friends.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with that poem. Glad you got a chance to get your batteries charged.
ReplyDeleteI'm not keen on all this 'I heart stuff'. Especially in the back windows of cars. 'I heart Poodles', or 'I heart Yoga' bull.
ReplyDeleteGood to hear you didn't punch the insensitive idiot.
The really strange thing is that I still miss Bette and Joan enormously...
ReplyDeleteI never had any children and my cats have been my children. I could burst into tears in a heartbeat a year after my last cat Zoe died. I had her cremated and her little urn sits by my bed. I finally got another, Gracie. She did not replace my Zoe, but added another joyful, loving place in my heart for I love her little soul so much. They all have their own personalities and it's just not home here without a cat in the house. When I die, if Gracie goes before me, they both will be placed in my coffin!
ReplyDeleteGlad you are feeling better!
Say a little prayer for us folks on the east coast of the US. I am right in the path of Irene and Gracie and I are getting ready to pack up and leave home. I'm a little worried about the tide with this one.
I always enjoy a visit to the city. There is so much life to surround you in a city. But nothing beats home.
ReplyDeleteThe movie looks intense. My favorites are the ones that leave you thinking about it long after the credits roll.
Lastly, it's sad that your neighbor will never know the love associated with a canine companion. Something you will always carry with you. Your ability to let the comments slide are an indication of that love inside you.
galestorm
ReplyDeletegood luck to you! here's hoping it will peter out
I hate the grieving process, because in a sense, it never ends.
ReplyDeleteThat was a wise thing you did to get away.
Good move to remove yourself from the situation for a day. Just for some breathing space.
ReplyDeletePeople can be so insensitive, particularly non pet owners. My Nicky baby has been gone now for over ten years and it still brings tears to my eyes, Rocky (my bad good boy) has been gone for at least seven and again, it still hurts.
I would never set out to have a dog, but we have dogs in the family. When little Fiona took her congenital heart condition under the sofa and died, I was wretched. So happy you took a break from the routine!
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing like 24 hours in Manchester as a pick-me-up, even if the 'I ♥ MCR' campaign is all-pervading.
ReplyDeleteI have always loved that poem!
ReplyDeleteVery pleased you went to Manchester and were good to yourself.
As for the hurtful things well-meaning (or at least I like to believe they are) people say: A month after my 29-year-old sister died when I was 26, a neighbor said to me, "Well, you must be over your mourning period by now." (30 years later... I'm still not, by the way). And when my 14-year-old cousin died many years earlier, someone told my aunt, "Well, at least you've got two other children."
Hugs are being sent your way.
John, I'm glad you're feeling a little better. It's good to get away sometimes. "A change is as good as a rest", my old gran used to say.
ReplyDeleteGalestorm, I hope you and Gracie are ok.
I'm so glad you have enjoyed a couple of days away. What a wonderful poem.
ReplyDeleteJo xx
That is the most beautiful poem John, I have not seen it before, so thanks for posting it.
ReplyDeletePeople who make those kind of unfeeling remarks do not realise how 'cruel' they are being, I think they are trying to be helpful and kind - they just don't understand. I have been there several times myself and know just how much it hurts.
It is like a friend who had Down's Syndrome baby who died at 5 from a heart problem and people kept telling her it was all for the best considering what was the matter with Rosie.
Glad you are feeling better. When life knocks us down it is good to have friends to help us get on our feet again, and you do have a really lovely support network of people, but then, I am sure that you know that and appreciate them for being there for you.
ReplyDeleteI suppose the only real way of protecting yourself from any kind of grief is to not love anything - period. I don't think that's your style John. is it.
ReplyDeleteManchester - cotton and guns...
I have never seen that poem before. Very good. You will have to reserve the names Rudyard and Kipling for new additions to your beastly family. By the way:- I V MCR!
ReplyDeleteGlad you got to spend some quality time with friends, John. People and their distinct lack of empathy. I tend to think of them as some kind of human subspecies spewing cliches without thought.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I'll ever replicate what I share with my first dog, Parker. He has taught me so much. My FIL looks incredulously at me when I talk about his moods or feelings and consider him in the way that I do. But that's what Parker does for me. I all but lost him when he was 1 to a huge van, all because I opened the gate to put the garbage out. He's seven now. I know I am exceedingly lucky for each passing year since. I also know how much I am going to miss him one day and I have already cried about it! But maybe that's how it should be. He's a part of me and he always will be.
Evolution, eh. xo
Pleased you had a good time and did not run amok through the streets of Manchester, as seems to be the way these times! I put up a post of my daughters 'rescue pups' and I hope that brings a smiole to your face. She is moving back to the mainland, her stint in Hobart, Tasmania has finally exhausted her tolerance of the natives and needs some more cosmopolitan associations, so I guess that'll mean we end up baby sitting the pups until she and her partner find a place to settle.
ReplyDeleteWe who have lost animals know how you are feeling. After reading this poem I had a rush of good memories of our previous dog, Jessie we had for 17 years.
ReplyDeleteGlad you have 'caught your breath' for now John....aren't friends great!
I'm glad you got yourself a day out, this poem always sticks in my mind though I must have read it first when I was about 8. Dog-crazy even then. It's not quite as relevant as yours.
ReplyDeleteOn A Spaniel, Called Beau, Killing A Young Bird
A spaniel, Beau, that fares like you,
Well fed, and at his ease,
Should wiser be than to pursue
Each trifle that he sees.
But you have killed a tiny bird,
Which flew not till to-day,
Against my orders, whom you heard
Forbidding you the prey.
Nor did you kill that you might eat,
And ease a doggish pain,
For him, though chased with furious heat,
You left where he was slain.
Nor was he of the theivish sort,
Or one whom blood allures,
But innocent was all his sport
Whom you have torn for yours.
My dog! what remedy remains,
Since, teach you all I can,
I see you, after all my pains,
So much resemble man!
BEAU'S REPLY.
Sir, when I flew to seize the bird
In spite of your command,
A louder voice than yours I heard,
And harder to withstand.
You cried -- forbear! -- but in my breast
A mightier cried -- proceed!--
'Twas nature, sir, whose strong behest
Impelled me to the deed.
Yet much as nature I respect,
I ventured once to break
(As you perhaps may recollect)
Her precept for your sake;
And when your linnet on a day,
Passing his prison door,
Had fluttered all his strength away,
And panting pressed the floor;
Well knowing him a sacred thing,
Not destined to my tooth,
I only kissed his ruffled wing,
And licked the feathers smooth.
Let my obedience then excuse
My disobedience now,
Nor some reproof yourself refuse
From your aggrieved bow-wow;
If killing birds be such a crime,
(Which I can hardly see,)
What think you, sir, of killing time
With verse addressed to me?
William Cowper
Hi John! I'm glad you were able to get away and get your batteries recharged and that you're feeling better! Don't even ask what I did after I lost our girl Rudi two weeks ago...
ReplyDeleteBut you asked about the pecking order in the pack changing after a dominant dog passes. I'm not sure if you saw that very topic in my last post on my blog or not, but the answer is yes. It's not unusual to have this happen. For us, Rudi was our pack leader and we've recently undergone 'status' changes in the group. But we let the dogs decide when and how those changes will occur, but they never lose their place with us. There has been a period of uncertainty and direction, but they've pulled it together, and I can see that there is a new pack leader, and it's the Wheaten Terrier who has been the #2 dog for quite awhile. It's interesting that their life goes on, and I still mourn the loss of the dog who truly tore my heart!
Sounds like you had just the outing you needed. The only thing better than watching a good show with a friend is dissecting it over drinks when it's done. That poem says it so well. Glad you're starting to feel a bit better.
ReplyDeleteHow true that poem is. I'm glad you're starting to feel better and had a good time with your friends in Manchester. Thanks for showing us that video...that's a movie I'd like to see if I can find it. X
ReplyDelete