Now, I do know I am a sucker for an animal sob story
and I must also admit that I do look after my animal charges somewhat better than I do Chris on occasion
Then why, dear reader do the creature hordes of the field conspire sometimes to put me in hospital?
Today is a case in point
This evening I have been pecked by an irate broody hen who actually drew blood,
tripped up by a particularly hysterical Indian runner duck when I was cocking my leg over some electric fencing and got head butted in the goolies by Russell the goose when he thought I was attacking said duck (as it screamed and ran in useless circles).
To add insult to injury pig number 12 gave me a particularly uncomfortable wedgie when he took a mouthful of grey underpants and tugged hard when I was bending down filling his water feeder.
I limped back to the house for 10pm only to find out that Constance had peed her bed ( she has sleep apnoea and sometimes "forgets" to wake up to go) so I have spent the last 25 minutes disinfecting the urine stains......
sometimes a girl dreams of a vodka martini at the Waldorf
(and before you say anything Tom..yes I have experienced both.......TOGETHER!)
 |
| Runners... all in need of valium |
Like watching Hitchcock's 'The Birds'...
ReplyDeleteTrod on Violet the hen too today and nearly impaled myself on the gate avoiding the others.
Greedy bloody hens!
Sounds like you deserve 2 vodka martinis, maybe even 3.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you should sit one out - in this dance of life, with your animals.
ReplyDeleteJust an idea about Constance. As she got older Roxie had the same problem. Completely housebroken when awake but urinating in her sleep. Since she somewhat resembles a mop it meant a lot of extra baths. I was a wits end and mentioned it to my vet. She said it was quite common in older bitches and there is a miracle pill for it. Roxie now gets a Prion pill twice a day and not an accident since. You might check with your vet.
ReplyDeletethanks peter will give it a go
ReplyDeletejohn your the best
ReplyDeleteLOL...I'm laughing my frock off when reading this, I apologise, since it is at your expense John.
ReplyDeleteI can see you now, cogging your leg over that fence, and being compromised by the goose :)
Indian Runner Ducks, well there's a bunch of headcases if I've ever saw one.
You might need to invest in a Jockstrap when your out amongst the field friends.
Any decision on the fundraiser ?
~Jo
I have cancelled it until the 24th Jo..and feel better for the change
ReplyDeletethanks
x
ps
good luck with the name calling
Oh gosh, John. I feel for you. Haha.
ReplyDeleteHope tomorrow is better. :)
Sorry you had a rough day. Maybe they heard you had postponed your big day.
ReplyDeleteI'm still wondering why we had to know that your underpants (wedged up by a piglet) where grey?
ReplyDeleteI'm all for attention to detail, but sometimes too much information tends to detract from the main issue.
When you say 'both', do you mean vodka & Martini, or a girl & the Waldorf? Whichever, I can hardly believe that you have experienced all 4 at the same time.
I remember two very large martinis in the Waldorf cocktail lounge
ReplyDeleteAll I remember thinking was that I was HOME!!!
as for girls... tried it.....not -for me!
andas for grey underpants..I want to paint a picture
x
Life with animals and birds...so full of fun and games! Glad you survived to tell the tale.
ReplyDeleteForget the vodka martinis....go for the original....gin! God knows you deserve it! and have a good night, John!
ReplyDeleteOh John. You would be smushed here. The clydes weigh 2,200 pounds. Each.
ReplyDeleteI think Terry's got you there, John. You haven't known pure agony until a horse steps on your foot, then looks at you like you're crazy as you're hitting him as hard as you can while screaming at him to get off. "Oh, you want me to move? Let me think about it."
ReplyDeleteBig hug darling....
ReplyDeleteOh, damn! I had just (barely) managed to not giggle over the post, but the exchange between you and Tom put me right over the edge into gleeful hysterics!
ReplyDeleteThere is a reason the phrase "bird-brained" exists. While they can be sweet, they can also be complete widgets.
Hope tomorrow is a better day! xx
Poor Chris
ReplyDeletepoor chris nothing....
ReplyDeletehe gets his fair share of TLC!
breakfast in bed every weekend for starters
x
A camel stepped on my foot under the Great Pyramid once.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry but I had to laugh, especially at the thought of 12 giving you a wedgie!
ReplyDeleteTee hee. I want film at eleven! xoxoxoxo. My lady once took an impromptu ride on Nigel the mini horse when he went under her leg, which was raised to hold open the goat stall door. Tee hee.
ReplyDeleteSo you decided to postpone eh? What weather are they calling for on the next weekend, do you know yet? What a lot of work!!
ReplyDeleteJust went over and donated on Janet's blog but I couldn't come up with a clever name for 24! I'm looking forward to finding out what it will be though. Do we have to wait an extra week on that, too?
Hang in there John! And maybe 12 would be more docile if you just called him "Doce" instead...he may be feeling a little left out on the whole name thing and, if he doesn't speak Spanish, he won't know it's still just a number. :-)
Dxox
I thought blokes liked a little nudge of their goolies??
ReplyDeleteHold on...Chris gets breakfast in bed??
Ah, goolies. I wish Americans could be so elegant when referencing their gonads.
ReplyDelete*titter* Sorry - obviously not giggling at your injuries John, just the comical way you explain them :-D
ReplyDeleteI should have read these comments first before leaving my comment saying i hoped the weather forecast would improve for your open day fundraiser. I do still hope for lovely weather for the event, no matter what the date.
ReplyDeleteI must admit i found myself suppressing a laugh as i read about your plight. Do you think the animals hold meetings and decide that they're going to select a day where they can taunt you, just to remind you that they can?
I hope they also decide to give you extra shows of love once in awhile, too.
megan