..and it's all a bit too much to cope with when one is somewhat overtired
At every turn she can be seen stalking George and poor William ( despite both being castrated). Constantly she waves her considerable bottom provocatively in their uninterested faces whilst giving them, what can only be described as a "come hither" looking of longing.....
I am finding it all rather unsavory!
Its a bit like sharing a house with a nymphomaniac Peggy Mount .
Anyhow I digress.......
The excitement of the day has been the arrival of my first Quail egg
 |
| The first of my cash crop! eat your heart out Alan Sugar |
Ha ha ha, you describe it so well John! Are you going to have her done then?? Would like to be a fly on the wall watching you get that goat into the back of your van!! S x
ReplyDeleteTrollop !
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you get her spayed and get all this hormonal done and dusted, are you going to breed her ?
Well, I suppose I'll just have to wait another day for the goat arrival, a quail egg is exciting though, I'll give you marks for that.
Put a nappy on Constance :)
~Jo
Very entertaining story John. Are you expecting to cultivate more than one quail egg this season?
ReplyDeletei am hoping for a late spurt distance gardener!
ReplyDeleteJo....yes she will be spayed, I cant cope with the sexual tension!
Ha ha, I can't imagine Constance's come hither look!
ReplyDeleteOh for God's sake.... Rubbing her WHAT? No, don't repeat it - once was enough.
ReplyDeleteI hope you are getting my barn nice and cosy for me. Tom. x
So funny John. I once had a rabbit that wanted to make love all the time to our fixed cats. The cats would usually push him aside but every now and then he would get them. When he was dying, one of the cats sat outside his cage the whole day. Most people thought it was sweet compassion, I think he just wanted to make sure he was dead.
ReplyDeleteAre you getting a pygmy goat? They are very popular around here and people use them to keep their lawns trim. It is much more environmentally friendly, plus you get some fresh manure out of the deal.
Congratulations on the egg!
ReplyDeleteConstance will be happier after her surgery, and so will you!
Perk!! Goat? I think I missed something. I am really behind on blogs with this floor project we have going. :O). Get a box of Nilla Wafers and he will be your friend for life :O). I also find them a very easy way to give worm meds. Just put the wormer on the nilla wafer and offer it to him.. :O). Works at our house anyway... and sure beats wrestling them by the horns to squirt it in their mouths!
ReplyDeleteJohn, I know what you're going through--We only had one dog that was ever 'in season' and that's our girl Sheba, and once was more than enough for me!
ReplyDeleteAll you need now, John, is a miniature slice of toast.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck with the goat; did you get him/her from Colditz?
I was going to ask if you were about to have her fixed but I read that you are - a good choice I think if you don't plan to breed her.
ReplyDeleteYour "humping" description reminded me of the classic Seinfeld episode where he forgot the name of his new girlfriend but was told that it rhymed with female body part. Much hilarity ensued with various names being tried on her, the most memorable of which was Mulva!
If only there were more equivalents of Constance in the human world and we could bypass the sweet talk, the flowers, the expensive meals out and expressions of sincerity. Mind you - I wouldn't want their faces to resemble Constance's Churchillian visage. And you could also leave out the slaver - except on Saturdays.
ReplyDeleteI imagine she looks just like the dog in the card. Tart. x
ReplyDeleteGeez John! Don't you remember your youth?! lol Poor Constance, just doin' what a girl's got to do!
ReplyDeleteCan't wait for the 'goat stories'! Bring them on.
Oh gosh John. Perhaps you should have the goat delivered...
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on the quail egg! :)
Oh John, you described the whole season thing to a tee!
ReplyDeleteUm, are you going to get her spayed? That will stop all the season stuff.
Oh how exciting, a quail egg!
Looking forward to seeing your goat.
Hugs. xoxo
Lovely quail egg. Poor little Constance. Good thing you had a stocking on your foot. Looking forward to Tom's arrival.
ReplyDeleteJohn, I know I am a new blog reader, but please... I'm waiting in anticipation about the new goat!
ReplyDeleteFarmer
Very pretty egg, John.
ReplyDeletePoor Constance; it's spring, you know.
megan
Good God John...I was trying to be disciplined and read through all the old posts that I've missed before leaving comments, but this one is unholy! You make me laugh and laugh like no one else but the hubster can. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI just picked up your comment about your brother entering hospice. What a bittersweet time this must be for your family. I'm SO glad those services are still available for Andrew and I really hope it will help ease some of the burden on his wife. Indeed, on all of you! Of course my heart and warm wishes are with you and the whole family through this next leg of the journey...no, always!...and needless to say if you ever need someone to just listen, I'm here.
Dia