Their first meeting didn't go too well!
Sorrel sat on the couch demurely as Constance bulldozed her way through the throng to give the newcomer the once over with eager little piggy eyes and a somewhat sputum filled smile. She sniffed loudly and with the loudest of grunts belched then cleared a mouthful of goo from a mouth the size of a gin trap.
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| a face a mother-in-law couldn't love |
Sorrel sat on the couch demurely as Constance bulldozed her way through the throng to give the newcomer the once over with eager little piggy eyes and a somewhat sputum filled smile. She sniffed loudly and with the loudest of grunts belched then cleared a mouthful of goo from a mouth the size of a gin trap. Sorrel looked faintly nauseous by this performance and her face was a picture....as she looked exactly like Maggie Smith's Dowager Countess from Downton Abby. (you know her famous "There's a bad smell under my nose" kind of expression used in most of her latter day movies)
The meeting therefore was a bit of a standoff.
Sorrel continued with her tea and with a bored fart of defiance Constance stalked off to the kitchen alone
Something makes me think that they are not going to be the best of friends
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| Mother and Son |
Ha ha, I can just picture the scene!
ReplyDeleteConstance is probably an acquired taste.
I am loving Constance, but I can imagine she's perhaps not everyone's cup of tea lol! I'm totally with you on digging over shopping any day of the week ;)
ReplyDeleteI could just see that scene! What a lovely photo of mom and son. =)
ReplyDeleteSounds to me like the typical jockeying-for-position-routine that goes on between alpha-females John!
ReplyDeleteAs usual, very funny.
ReplyDeleteI was in Chester last week and did all the shops including a new Primark where Wollies used to be.
I thought of you this week when I saw a rather large whitish bulldog trotting along at speed with his master. I thought that propbably Constance would not move that fast!!
Sue
Brought a smile to my face and a morning chuckle, John. I can just imagine that scene. Haha.
ReplyDeleteSun and dirt (and your animals) definitely sounds like the better deal.
Hope you all have a great weekend! :)
Thanks for the morning laugh. Constance is a dear, but, yup, I can understand where she might be a little off-putting to some.
ReplyDeleteChester is suprisingly 'classy'. Even so, I'll join you in the garden; Haddock's is in desperate need of TLC. Onions, Carrots, and Spuds will all need to go in soon, and there's so much to do.
ReplyDeleteYou are so funny. Your blog is a 'grab a coffee and enjoy' type blog. Love it. Poor dog! I know some are not the prettiest in most eyes but I think she is lovely. Stinky, maybe...but lovely.
ReplyDeleteFear not John - eventually everyone succumbs to the charms of the bulldog however much they protest in the first instance. Constance is my most favourite blogland dog.
ReplyDeleteChris has rather a pained expression... or is the sun in his eyes? Or maybe Constance's performance was even a shock for him? hee hee
ReplyDeleteWhere was your video camera? These events should be recorded. This could go viral. Ha!
Who is Sorrel? In her dark shades she looks like a Ukranian spy. No wonder Constance is gooing her.
ReplyDeleteYou painted the picture perfectly! It left nothing to the imagination. Loved it!
ReplyDeletepud...sorrel is my mother in law....AND is also an international assassin...(and part time knitting shop operative)
ReplyDeleteYou passed up the chance for some retail therapy in Chester??? You're obviously beyond redemption!
ReplyDelete(But I think you would probably get on well with Keith.) ;)
Oh dear. Just trying to imagine Sorrel's expression when Constance let one loose in the house.
ReplyDeleteHaha! Good stuff! You have a way with words, John, to be sure. "...international assassin...(and part time knitting shop operative)...." Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteI think Constance is gorgeous, but I don't know if I could live with her.
What a hilarious meet and greet! My Calico Princess snores, but at least (as far as I know) has never "let one loose". Hmmmm, do cats fart?
ReplyDeleteNancy in Iowa
I'm with you on that one John! I would prefer to weed any day than go shopping!!!!
ReplyDeleteTra la la. Sounds like Constance leaves a strong first impression. hehe. I adore pooches, but even I might take some time to warm up to Constance. The loogie was the deal breaker I would guess!!
ReplyDeletexx-the old trout
You know how to set up a scene, that's for sure. I could even smell the farts all the way in California.--Inger
ReplyDeleteWell stated! I laughed out loud Mr. Gray!!
ReplyDeleteAs one who is not much of a fan of inlaws and having 4 poodles I say, "Love my dog or get out!"
xo
What a very clear description of how that meeting went ROFL ROFL. I can just see the whole thing!
ReplyDelete"The Bulldogs In-Law" a book title for sure. And why can't my name be Sorrel ? Donna is so dull
ReplyDelete"Constance bulldozed her way through the throng to give the newcomer the once over with eager little piggy eyes and a somewhat sputum filled smile. She sniffed loudly and with the loudest of grunts belched then cleared a mouthful of goo from a mouth the size of a gin trap."
ReplyDeleteWHAT, I ask you, is not to love here?
Sorrel has my sympathies. I adore dogs and animals of all kinds but I still require a modicum of personal hygiene in all my relationships. (Perhaps Constance would eventually break me of such shallow needs?)
You write this stuff brilliantly, John.
Dia
Oh Lord John, you never fail to crack me up!
ReplyDeleteI have been to Chester a couple of times... a friend (From the US)owned the Boat House restaurant on the River Dee and we stayed at the B & B across the street. I had the best adventure EVER ina 2nds shop near Chester. I hope to return one day soon!
ReplyDeleteRuth (Califnornia USA) :)