Friday, 25 March 2011

Sorrel and Constance

Mum in law Sorrel has rather refined sensibilities. She copes generally very well with the over activity of a house load of terriers but I suspected quite rightly that the rather robust farting, belching, snoring and throat clearing of an asthmatic sounding bulldog , would be just a little too much for her to cope with.
Their first meeting didn't go too well!


a face a mother-in-law couldn't love
 Sorrel sat on the couch demurely as Constance bulldozed her way through the throng to give the newcomer the once over with eager little piggy eyes and a somewhat sputum filled smile. She sniffed loudly and with the loudest of grunts  belched then cleared a mouthful of goo from a mouth the size of a gin trap.
Sorrel  looked faintly nauseous by this performance and her face was a picture....as she looked exactly like Maggie Smith's Dowager Countess from Downton Abby. (you know her famous "There's a bad smell under my nose" kind of expression used in most of her latter day movies)
The meeting therefore was a bit of a standoff.
Sorrel continued with her tea and with a bored fart of defiance Constance stalked off to the kitchen alone
Something makes me think that they are not going to be the best of friends


Mother and Son
This morning Chris and Sorrel are off shopping in the historic city of Chester which is only a short train ride over the English border. Clothes shopping leaves me rather cold, so I have passed on the traditional troll through Brown's of Chester and will spend the morning  digging and weeding

28 comments:

  1. Ha ha, I can just picture the scene!
    Constance is probably an acquired taste.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am loving Constance, but I can imagine she's perhaps not everyone's cup of tea lol! I'm totally with you on digging over shopping any day of the week ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I could just see that scene! What a lovely photo of mom and son. =)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sounds to me like the typical jockeying-for-position-routine that goes on between alpha-females John!

    ReplyDelete
  5. As usual, very funny.
    I was in Chester last week and did all the shops including a new Primark where Wollies used to be.
    I thought of you this week when I saw a rather large whitish bulldog trotting along at speed with his master. I thought that propbably Constance would not move that fast!!
    Sue

    ReplyDelete
  6. Brought a smile to my face and a morning chuckle, John. I can just imagine that scene. Haha.

    Sun and dirt (and your animals) definitely sounds like the better deal.

    Hope you all have a great weekend! :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks for the morning laugh. Constance is a dear, but, yup, I can understand where she might be a little off-putting to some.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Chester is suprisingly 'classy'. Even so, I'll join you in the garden; Haddock's is in desperate need of TLC. Onions, Carrots, and Spuds will all need to go in soon, and there's so much to do.

    ReplyDelete
  9. You are so funny. Your blog is a 'grab a coffee and enjoy' type blog. Love it. Poor dog! I know some are not the prettiest in most eyes but I think she is lovely. Stinky, maybe...but lovely.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Fear not John - eventually everyone succumbs to the charms of the bulldog however much they protest in the first instance. Constance is my most favourite blogland dog.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Chris has rather a pained expression... or is the sun in his eyes? Or maybe Constance's performance was even a shock for him? hee hee

    Where was your video camera? These events should be recorded. This could go viral. Ha!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Who is Sorrel? In her dark shades she looks like a Ukranian spy. No wonder Constance is gooing her.

    ReplyDelete
  13. You painted the picture perfectly! It left nothing to the imagination. Loved it!

    ReplyDelete
  14. pud...sorrel is my mother in law....AND is also an international assassin...(and part time knitting shop operative)

    ReplyDelete
  15. You passed up the chance for some retail therapy in Chester??? You're obviously beyond redemption!
    (But I think you would probably get on well with Keith.) ;)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Oh dear. Just trying to imagine Sorrel's expression when Constance let one loose in the house.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Haha! Good stuff! You have a way with words, John, to be sure. "...international assassin...(and part time knitting shop operative)...." Brilliant!

    I think Constance is gorgeous, but I don't know if I could live with her.

    ReplyDelete
  18. What a hilarious meet and greet! My Calico Princess snores, but at least (as far as I know) has never "let one loose". Hmmmm, do cats fart?

    Nancy in Iowa

    ReplyDelete
  19. I'm with you on that one John! I would prefer to weed any day than go shopping!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Tra la la. Sounds like Constance leaves a strong first impression. hehe. I adore pooches, but even I might take some time to warm up to Constance. The loogie was the deal breaker I would guess!!

    xx-the old trout

    ReplyDelete
  21. You know how to set up a scene, that's for sure. I could even smell the farts all the way in California.--Inger

    ReplyDelete
  22. Well stated! I laughed out loud Mr. Gray!!

    As one who is not much of a fan of inlaws and having 4 poodles I say, "Love my dog or get out!"

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  23. What a very clear description of how that meeting went ROFL ROFL. I can just see the whole thing!

    ReplyDelete
  24. "The Bulldogs In-Law" a book title for sure. And why can't my name be Sorrel ? Donna is so dull

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous6:27 pm

    "Constance bulldozed her way through the throng to give the newcomer the once over with eager little piggy eyes and a somewhat sputum filled smile. She sniffed loudly and with the loudest of grunts belched then cleared a mouthful of goo from a mouth the size of a gin trap."
    WHAT, I ask you, is not to love here?
    Sorrel has my sympathies. I adore dogs and animals of all kinds but I still require a modicum of personal hygiene in all my relationships. (Perhaps Constance would eventually break me of such shallow needs?)
    You write this stuff brilliantly, John.
    Dia

    ReplyDelete
  26. Oh Lord John, you never fail to crack me up!

    ReplyDelete
  27. I have been to Chester a couple of times... a friend (From the US)owned the Boat House restaurant on the River Dee and we stayed at the B & B across the street. I had the best adventure EVER ina 2nds shop near Chester. I hope to return one day soon!
    Ruth (Califnornia USA) :)

    ReplyDelete

I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes