The internet is often used as a forum for hate and anger, I have noticed this fact recently when I have read some "professional" political blogs as well as some opinionated rants and moans elsewhere on the net.
Anonymous people often find rudeness easy on line, of course there is no comeback when you hide behind a pseudonym or a character, and harsh words can be fired easily when no one knows or can see the "shooter!"
My mother had a saying
"If you can't say anything good about someone, say nothing"
This amused me somewhat seeing that my mother was an expert moaner about EVERYONE!
But I kind of agree with her general sentiments- badmouthing someone can make you look somewhat mean and ever so, well, bitter.
Or As Eric Hoffer once said "Rudeness is a weak man's weapon"
Perhaps there should be several pre agreed rules before anyone should blog
1. Never blog when you have just had a row
2. Never blog when you are pissed ( sorry US readers I mean drunk)
3. and never blog when you are pissed AND angry!
I hope it wasn't me! I have had a bit of a rant about unfairness in the comments box of another blog today. I feel really guilty now! xxxxx
ReplyDeletelol
ReplyDeleteno diane! no bloggers here!! its just me being sensitive about rudeness....
Justifiable anger is cool!!!
and justifiable AND humorous anger is enviable!
If I took up line #2, I'd hardly ever post anything at all!
ReplyDeleteHope all is well.
Your Friend, m.
Well ... That leaves whole bunch of people out ... Rude ... I'm not okay with ... Angry ... depends on what they are angry about ... Justified anger ... Something we all feel we have the right at times ... and drunk ... well, that is just another story in itself!
ReplyDeleteNow honesty ... is my weapon of choice ... and you know what they say about honesty ...
Have a good one!
Teri♥♥♥
well said that woman!
ReplyDeleteMy Mom had the same saying!
ReplyDeleteAnother good rule -- Never say anything on a blog or forum that you wouldn't say to someone face to face.
ReplyDeletehear hear!!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd never do today what you can put off until tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteand never fart in a lift
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely agree. No rants in my patch of the web. Always trying to keep my halo up on top of my head, which most times it isn't.
ReplyDeleteAround here, pissed means angry.
ReplyDeleteGee, what got that going? I know - nunya...
Don't start making bloody rules - you'll soon run out of followers and find sycophants in their place.
ReplyDeletethat's why I moderate all comments,
ReplyDeleteGill in Canada
tomas! I didnt say I dont like banter!!!
ReplyDeleteI blogged once when I was drunk. I posted the wrong measurements for a recipe and coincidentally, a co-worker made the recipe the next morning and it did not turn out well....obviously! :) Needless to say I won’t do that again.
ReplyDeleteIs it OK to blog when we are drunk and HAPPY?
ReplyDeleteOr sober and only slightly pissed?
;-)
I like Eric Hoffer's statement very much.
a pissed and happy
ReplyDeletethats an ideal time to post...mind you the typos are irritating!
I'm always happy when I'm pissed (drunk) and if I'm pissed (angry) then getting pissed (drunk) makes me happy.
ReplyDeleteDoes that make any sense? :D
JOHN - I encountered a truly nasty blogger who took great offence at me complaining about his blog which was simply designed to badmouth others. There's a sexual swear word that rhymes with "hunt". Repeatedly he would visit my blog and call me that word. Though I never re-visited his nasty, shallow blog I do believe he kept ranting about me in it and using that word again and again. In real life, he would never get away with it - he'd be breaking the law - and also I'd be slapping him about the head with a wet kipper... or maybe even a frozen tuna. He's probably the same nasty specimen who allowed his dog to frighten your little brown Jewish hen.
ReplyDeletea goodsense off humour
ReplyDeletethats what EVERYONE needs in life as well as blogland.......
you, Tom and a few others keep me laughing daily!
I see where you’re coming from, although I don’t agree. There are times when being anonymous on the internet is sensible, if not essential. Furthermore, the nature of the (internet) interaction invites scrutiny of what you actually mean when you talk of ‘anonymity’ in this context.
ReplyDeleteA few random thoughts on this:
To be ‘anonymous’ is to be liminal, marginal, in-between and unknowable. Sometimes this might be ‘justifiable’, and sometimes it’s perhaps necessary.
For example, if you are being abused or bullied, you may not have the constant counsel of others readily to hand, and so the internet is the only ‘safe’ space in which you might seek solice, help and interaction. In some circumstances, anonymity is necessary and is legitimised by an ‘acceptable’ response: a host of postings by abused partners on Mumsnet provide some testimony here.
If you are challenging a religious or political group, you will find that there are some pretty narrow-minded people (of many religions/political groups, I should add) who disguise their intolerance with their ‘faith’ or ideology. Challenging them can be dangerous. Anonymity permits some way of challenging them, particularly if your life or welfare is at stake.
People have always had multiple ‘identities’. The internet is simply the latest context in which identity ‘claims’ can be made and re-made. Yet, like the others (for example, marriage, workplace, community, friendships) it is similarly generative of modes of disclosure/non-disclosure, positionality/identity and respect/abuse. All of these contexts invite multiple identities, yet are seen as ‘legitimate’.
For example, who are the ‘bloggers’ who post here? Certainly, you do ‘know’ some of them, evidenced either through prior contact (friends and family) or extra-internet contact (letters, gifts, etc.). But for the majority your judgement is reliant on trust, instinct and (paradoxically) the ‘distance’ of the internet itself. In this context, the ‘truths’ and ‘facts’ we might hold about identity are always partial.
You say that ‘Hoffer once said "Rudeness is a weak man's weapon"’. That may or may not be true (I haven’t looked it up). Ironically, Hoffer took an interest in those who are socially anonymous, those living on the margins of society.
Perhaps those who blog ‘anonymously’ might be seen in this way: living on/in the margins. Ambiguity/ anonymity always invites a range of cultural responses, including being labelled as ‘dangerous’. I guess that what I’m saying is that anonymity/anomaly is important and, however maddening, is both a consequence of, and is constitutive to, the functioning and ordering of ‘normal’ society.
But of course, I'm happy to be wrong ;-)
Right, must go now, as I need to watch American Pie.
Again.
Nx (my real name)
Rules for blogging:
ReplyDelete1. If you haven't got anything good to say about a person - say Nothing!
2. Stop, think and engage the brain before hitting the 'Save' key.
3. Never say anything that you may regret having said within 24-48 hours.
4. If yo've got a gripe with someone and want to have a 'bitch fight' with them, do it 'off-line' and privately.
5. Don't put yourself in a position where you may have to end up saying "Sorry!"
6. If you have, don't retreat from saying "Sorry!"
7. Never carry a grudge - sort it out and get over it!
8. Treat others as you'd like to be treated yourself.
9. Respect for others, regard for their dignity and politeness are the essence of effective communication.
10. BEER is good for blogging — Behavior, Effect, Expectation, Results (for feedback for improvement).
N
ReplyDeleteis that your full name?
I think what I dont like is people's ability to "slap" someone else unfairly
having said that
I need to slap you twice for watching that dreadful movie
Nigel said:
ReplyDelete"I see where you’re coming from, although I don’t agree. There are times when being anonymous on the internet is sensible, if not essential.
Not so, Nige! There is no complete anonymity on the internet!
Everything you post comes through an ISP (Internet Service Provider) who records your computers unique IP address. ISP's have your email address and lots of other data about you. ISP's use computer IP addresses to ban or block undesirable clientele. Information is saved to your hard disc (and blogger does this automatically as you input draft data) can be retrieved by forensic computer nerds/geeks - even if you delete it, all your pc does is move the deleted content to an unused area on your hard disc (HDD). Its those deletions, over time, that clag up your HDD and slow down your PC response time to a point where you decide to buy a new PC 'cos the one you are using becomes too slow!
I use the same saying as your mother, and I got it from Thumper's mother on 'Bambi'.
ReplyDeleteGood advice, John. I have a couple of books to review on my Wednesday's Book, but I'm too mad at the US gov. right now about stuff in the books, so I'm chilling (as the young people say here in the US) for a while.
ReplyDelete@JohnD
ReplyDeleteYes, I take your point. Most casual internet users are unaware that everything is "traceable", in one form or another.
Likewise, I think that many folk don't realise that nothing on the internet is ever "deleted", even if you "remove" it.
So, yes, caution always applies on the internet - so no drunken postings!
I've often used archive sites, etc., to trawl back internet sites -long since gone - that I visited years ago. Great fun (it's amazing what was 'cutting edge' a few years ago now looks so tame).
I regularly post on another forum, where all the postings are IP logged (and IP's published), to prevent "abuse".
I find the whole issue of internet anonymity/identity fascinating.
Thanks for the reply.
Nx
@John (Gray)
"Dreadful movie". As I said when we spoke last week (so I know you are "real"), we can deconstruct it next time you visit. I am convinced it holds a deeper meaning...
i watched some of it the other night nige
ReplyDeleteTOSH!!!
Once I had a blogger comment on my blog, leaving a few comments that were really funny (about me working for a rectal surgeon actually). My friend and I read them after several drinks and then left a whole slew of one liners in return. I am sure the blogger didn;t mind since they still visit me, but next day when I read what I had written I was mortified.
ReplyDeleteI think it is difficult if people genuinely and with a good heart wish to disagree without causing someone to get their knickers in a twist. To be authentic, we need to be honest or it all becomes fluff and frou frou.
I have seen some true nastiness though and anoonymity allows for that.
i watched some of it the other night nige
ReplyDeleteDon't fight it. If you do it often enough, you'll come to enjoy it.
Nx
Hello John! The prodigal child has returned :-)! Won't bore you with the details here, but as usual, I agree with your comments on rudeness. Promise to post on my blog this weekend. Thanks for thinking of me.
ReplyDeleteZuckerberg created Facebook when he was pissed and angry...makes you wonder no?
ReplyDeleteDear John,
ReplyDeleteWe wish everyone would take their lead from DWB (dogs with blogs). Most dog bloggers go by the unwriten code that "Grace Happens", in many cases it's even writen. We have a medallion on our sidebar that says that and it links to The Heartbeats blog that explains the concept. Life is too short to be nasty or rude. BTW, we were very sorry to hear about your little bird being harassed by 2 of our kind. We apologize for that incindent and are glad your chicken is still kickin'!
Smooches from pooches,
BabyRocketDog and Hootie
ps-Mommy says that Mr.Hoffer was quite a wise fellow and he said many interesting things in his books. We are glad you are sensitive. x-Nigel Oops! I mean Hootie.(my real name) BOL!!
Alright then, Nigel - what's your last name?
ReplyDeleteMy parents had the same saying!
ReplyDeleteIf only blog admins would delete or refuse to post comments that are "Anonymous".\; and people shouldn't read blogs where the author isn't identified. If you're going to post something on line, at least have the cojones to not hide behind a generic blank face.
ReplyDelete@Tom
ReplyDeleteNot telling. Actually, 'Nigel' isn't even my real name :-o
Nx
its "gloria abyss" tom!
ReplyDeleteJohn, please do get it right: it's Gloria A'Byss.
ReplyDeleteI recall that it was you who advised me that an apostrophe would add a tantalising flourish of grotesque sophistication.
GAB x