A quick message.to HB
I understand what you said... through my initial correspondence with Tudor, I would have certainly pulled my original post and subsequent ones if he had asked me to or if he was upset at me using his name. But on reflection I think you are right , perhaps I should have used a pseudonym especially given the power of google, which can reach even the more boring parts of rural North Wales
I do not want to cause any further upset to to family and friends so I have deleted all of my posts relating to him. All I will say is that I valued his first e mail in reply to my blog entry discussing my childhood memories of him, he was very sweet, generous and thoughtful and that was much appreciated by me, as readers of this blog have testified to.
My thoughts are with his family at this time
Hi John. It's after 230am here, but having trouble sleeping. I've not read anything you wrote about Tudor since the first post,so not sure why you delelted it. But, the one I read was well written and you wrote a kind apology with it. Knowing you if anything sounded unkind, it was misinterpreted. I'm going to caatch up on your posts now.x-c
ReplyDeleteSorry...sometimes people do not understand the honor of being included in a tale.
ReplyDeleteTotslly understandable.
ReplyDeleteI have mixed feelings on this John. While I commend you for respecting his family at this dreadful time, I think the whole thing showed what a strong and openly honest man he was. It also showed both sides of this story and was inspirational and insightful to both adults and children. It was an important tale of growth and understanding and Parry going on to do something in his adult life to change it.
ReplyDeleteBut as you say, Google'ers may not take the time to read the whole story....You are thoughtful and decent to think only of his family at this time.
It is amazing how he made contact with you after all the years and resolved this before he died.
You did nothing wrong! You just shared a human drama of hurt, confrontation, healing on both sides, and resolution. You really painted him in a positive light by showing adversity that probably led him down that path, redemtion in how he turned his life around, and how he showed responsibility for his past behavior.
ReplyDeleteHow very thoughtful of you, John. Google can be a two headed monster.
ReplyDeleteSending hugs. Just got caught up with your last few posts. Missed the ones about Tudor, loved the fox courtship story and oh my gosh 60 cigarettes a day!!!! Great story about you and your mom, I think you are a very patient and kind person.
ReplyDeleteAlso enjoyed the views of your charming home. You should have shown the adventure playground, smelly dog blankets and all. xoxo
Hello John,
ReplyDeleteI must have missed what happened but it looks as though you handled it very well. You're a kind and thoughtful person. I'm glad you had a chance to settle things with Tudor and I'm sure it made him feel better too. It all served a good purpose. Now I'm off to catch up on your posts. I hope you and Chris and your critters are having a WONDERFUL Saturday!
Maura :)
Rest easy with this one, John. You did your best, and he did his and that is all that matters. I was moved and cheered by this positive episode in your life, and it's a shame you felt you had to delete your posts, but I am glad I read them before you did. x
ReplyDeleteI have mixed feelings about this too. I understand why you have deleted the posts, but I wish you hadn't felt that you had to. They were heartfelt, utterly truthful and sincere, and beautifully expressed. If you hadn't written that first post, then Tudor wouldn't have been able to respond and the two of you would not have been able to achieve the resolution that you did, and that would have been a shame.
ReplyDeleteChrist almighty! A spade is a spade isn't it?
ReplyDeleteCan't some people handle the factual truths of life events?
Dear John Gray
ReplyDeleteI know I shouldn't be intruding in businesses regarding you Mr. Parry. However, I can totally identify with your experience because I, like you, was the shy, intimate kid in school. I have been in Canada for but two short years when I had the fortunate placing in Mr. Parry's class. So believe me when I say I feel nothing less than total sympathy for your childhood, and I'm sure you can identify with my position back then.
Mr. Parry had never given up on me. Even though I was verbally (and not as often, physically) bullied by my classmates, not once did he brush me off and said 'suck it up'. He had always been there for me when I needed it. He gave me the special accommodation that I needed, and he saw the severe consequences of bullying, and did everything within his power to stop it.
Needless to say, having read your post via an archive surprised me, to say the least. How could such a gentle person have such a past? I can't agree more that his actions back then were immature and very hurtful. I'm sorry that he has given you such an unpleasant experience.
Unfortunately, I was not able to access any other posts related to Mr. Parry. However, I would like to let you know that he was simply a wonderful, passionate teacher who is hell bent on pushing the limit of what teaching could be. He took school one step further and made an effort to seek out those in need and goes out of his way to fulfill them. He might have not had the best start in life, but let me, and a group of student whose life have been touched by him assured you that, from his actions, his attitudes, and his kindness towards the people who take it for granted, that he is a man worthy of respect. A true role model that one can look up to, and a source of inspiration to just not give up.
In this time of grieving, I hope I can encourage you to forgive what he has done in the past. We have all been young once, and mistakes were made. The naive actions of an ignorant boy shouldn't over shadow the tremendous success that a passionate teacher has accomplished.
I sincerely wish that your wounds will heal with time, that your cup overflows with blessings, and that you have a most wonderful day.
ken
ReplyDeletethank you for posting.
I have no problems with the past. It was a childhood memory that was put to bed by tudor who wrote to me about it quite sweetly and with much generosity. I wrote to him back and we left things on very friendly and positive terms.
It sounds by all accounts that he was a much loved and respected teacher.
=My thoughts are with all the people that knew him
I think you've done the right thing here John to avoid any future misunderstanding. You and Tudor made your peace. As you say, you wouldn't want half the story to come out & be hurtful.
ReplyDeleteJohn, google In Memory of Tudor Parry and join this facebook group ... you will see how wonderful a man he really became.
ReplyDeleteI just found out the sad news of Tudor's passing. Would someone tell me, please, what happened to him? How is his wife doing? Thanks for any information. Birgit
ReplyDeleteBirgitte,
DeleteI am sorry that you have recently heard the news of Tudor. I do not know details....and what I do know is not for this forum. I suggest you read up in the local newspaper archives or contact the family or friends direct
With best wishes
John