Mushy Peas in the car

My brother was tired when I visited him this evening. He was also rather weary and fed up with the tracheostomy which is to be expected.
Unable to speak , interaction can be a little difficult for him and for us, and when visiting , being in the hospital. I was reminded of when I used to take my mother out from her nursing home room, and I was glad that the story I recalled got my brother, sister in law and visiting nephew Peter smiling.

My mother in the months before her death was a terribly difficult character. A chronic bronchitic and un diagnosed COPD sufferer she was confined to her room on an oxygen concentrator which she found dreadfully frustrating seeing that she was a 60 cigarette a day lady!). To take her out, she needed bottled oxygen, so on my weekly visit from Sheffield ( a 200 mile round trip) I used to "borrow" one of the huge oxygen cylinders from work! which I used to smuggle out of the spinal unit ( by using one of the patient's wheelchairs as a trolley)
When I finally reached Prestatyn, I would have to toilet my mother (not the most pleasant of jobs) , then trundle her down into Chris' nissan micra for her afternoon out!
 I had learnt early on that she would have to be sat on a selection of incontinence pads ( or if these ran short a subtly sculptured plastic carrier bag) and after getting her sitting comfortably and connected up to the massive oxygen cylinder, we set off for the outing of her choice.
Now she was a bit of a cheap date!
Her favourite trips included :
*A fish and chip supper in the car park at Prestatyn Beach ( the car would always be fully of mushy peas afterwards much to Chris' amusement)
*A drive up to Gwaenysgor Hillside
* or ( and most importantly) a trip to Sainsbury's car park! ( which is a supermarket for those that don't know)

At Sainsbury's I would set her up with a cigarette and a crossword (praying that a spark would not ignite the flammable Oxygen- now don't worry too much I WOULD always turn the O2 off when she lit up) and I would go into the store to purchase her weekly "treats" as she would sit quite happily in the passenger seat
These treats would always be the same

2 strawberry tarts ( with cream)
2-3 miniature bottles of gin
1 crossword book with pen
A selection of sweets ( to bribe the Nursing home staff so that they would take her for more fags during the day!)
A box of tissues
20 fags,

She was a crafty old cuss too, for every week after she  accepted her booty, she would suddenly "remember" some other item she had supposedly forgotten!
I went along with this ruse....and would dutifully go and get her another miniature gin " for tomorrow night" she would say.........and as I did, she would enjoy one of her sneaky 50ml bottles of Gordons, before jamming the plastic bottle in the ash tray or down the air con vent flap!

It was nice to see my brother smiling at my memory....mind you, he would have told the story better...he was always a better storyteller than I would ever be

31 comments:

  1. That is a funny story about your mom..She lived her life the fullest ~ it was her way or the highway.. you were a great son...

    ReplyDelete
  2. I was an average son! my sisters supported my mum a lot better..I lived away from home for many years and thus was spared her "difficult" personality!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Aww - a nice story, John - if a little alarming. I had an image of your mum's hair-do going up like a lit ball of steel wool with the fags and the oxygen. I hope your bro's ok. X

    ReplyDelete
  4. A rum'un for certain ;)
    I'm still laughing at the fags and bottles of gin, was she royal by any chance ?
    I would pass a steak dinner up, for fish, chips and mushy peas, preferably served in a paper bag, and enjoying the view of a Welsh
    beauty spot.
    Loved this post ,John.
    Hope Andrew is improving.
    Hugs,
    Jo
    x

    ReplyDelete
  5. You were a good son, not to deprive your mother of her pleasures. Most wouldn't have done it!

    I'll be you were her favorite child.

    ReplyDelete
  6. You were a great son...and your brought your brother a smile.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think the trees are pretty darn neat myself John. Loved your blog today; glad Andrew is getting a little better. It was a lovely story about your Mom.
    Hugs,
    Mal

    ReplyDelete
  8. That's a wonderful story, John. Ever since my first job, there has been a special place in my heart for crotchety old people -- the crotchetier, then better!

    I'm glad you got a smile to your brother; I'm sure it did you all good.

    ReplyDelete
  9. You squeeze my heart John.
    Mum, for the last four years of her life was hooked up to oxygen 24-7. She couldn't go far or for long. She did however, bless her heart, make the trip from Victoria (the place not the sister) to Toronto for my daughter's wedding reception, some 5,000 miles. Many details to organize (oxygen on the plane, oxygen for her time in Toronto), but she came and it meant the world to Jess and Nelson.
    V and I would spend countless hours worrying that Mum would, while smoking WITH the oxygen on, not die, but blow her face off and then WHO would take care of her?
    I'm so happy you made Andrew smile...

    ReplyDelete
  10. It was a good story, John, very colorful! I'm so glad you made everyone, including Andrew, smile. It's nearly as good as a laugh!

    XXX

    ReplyDelete
  11. That is so funny. I bet she enjoyed that day out so much. I get my mum from the nursing home and becuause she is so hard to lift,(stroke) we do the drive around thing and drive through McDonalds for a cheesburger which she loves. Amazing how much you can do without even leaving the car.!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I was/am not my mothers favorite child, which was common family knowledge. Unfortunately for her, I'm the only one left! Jesse says we have a very strange relationship. Go figure, eh?

    Like you, I would never mistreat her and I help her out financially, food, car, house repair, etc......but we are more like business partners.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm sure that it never crossed your mind, all those years ago, that the kindness you were showing your mother would one day bring a smile to the face of your brother.

    Good job!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous2:21 am

    I helped care for a number of people like your mom..."characters" we called them. I always really enjoyed their company, but I think it was only because I wasn't related. (My father is a difficult man and after the last disaster I've kept a safer distance, too.)
    The smokers on oxygen were always my favorites! (I'm an ex-smoker so I totally relate to the craving and how you'll do the most outrageous things to satisfy them!)
    Okay, you're a good son. But you're a great brother. Peace and patience to Andrew!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Wow John,

    I hope that in my twilight years I have someone as thoughtful and caring as you to make my last days a little more pleasant...

    but more importantly, I hope that I can be that for those who need me to be.

    You really do have a big heart.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thanks for making me smile. I'm glad things are going well...xxx

    ReplyDelete
  17. Loving these stories! Your blog has been pure gold lately. (Not that it isn't always, she added hastily...)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Those times away from the nursing home must have meant the world to your mom.

    ReplyDelete
  19. judith
    I think they meant more to the staff~! she was less of a fire risk when away from the buildings!

    seriously though I did have it easy when she was concerned, she WAS a difficult character and I did live safely 100 miles away!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Well then Andrew must be a totally brilliant story teller! Dan Snow or/and Monty Halls (you may have to google him) are my Matt Cardle - but they dont sing. xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  21. wished my mum had met your mum...they would have LOVED each other...I can just see the two of them sitting with their oxygen on having a smoke together, sipping some gin, and having a laugh at the rest of us!!
    Love to your brother John.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Your dear old Mum was quite a character! Thanks for the story. :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. That is a fun story John, sounds like your memory of your mother helped cheer up your brother.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Now those are some great memories of your mom. She sounded like a very tough lady. She knew exactly what she wanted...period!
    Hope to hear that Andrew continues to improve.
    Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Your blog always brings a smile to my face, it doesn't surprise me in the least that you do the same for your brother.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Good to hear about your Mom, John. I knew she was difficult but you were lucky, believe it or not, to have that special time with her.
    Good for Andrew to be feeling a little better. You know John, you are a pretty good guy!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Bro,
    Andrew is a brilliant story teller,but now he mimes, he had us all laughing earlier this week,
    yesterday he explained the job of each machine he is connected to.I too love to see him smile.

    Ann x

    ReplyDelete
  28. Your Mum was quite the character John! Ha...I know what Sainsbury is...even been to one with my sister ;) I'm with Uglydog and hope that one day I have someone as kind hearted and fun as you to take care of me if/when I end up in a nursing home. Of course thats a LONG way off! ;)
    Hope your brother has a better day today and is smiling for you and your family.
    Maura :)

    ReplyDelete
  29. What a great story. You have a way of writing with such emotion, but not too much. It's easy to feel a part of the story when reading it. I hope you're able to continue to remember funny memories such as this as time goes by.
    Staci

    ReplyDelete
  30. That's a funny post John. I have to say your Mum and my Mum would have got on like a house on fire! S x x x

    ReplyDelete

I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes